Sup, /adv/, listen to me, please. Too many minds past 10 years. So, i live in 3rd world country (thats why also sorry for some grammar problems etc). I am not able to walk for last 10 years. Because its shitty country i`m working as freelancer and whole my life is shit. Im poor as fuck, my father left me in my childhood and mother got mental problems and like once per year i need to pay for clinics, pills etc after something happend with her, so i dont have anyone. Whole my life is 4 walls and only problems which i need to solve from time to time, because nobody else will. Usually i`m going outside like 1 or 2 times per year, thanks to my country, live on 4rth floor in apartaments and cant do anything with it. And to be serious i must also say that i dont have any relationships. I mean like, no friends or any people irl who doesnt care of me, even a bit. Everyone bailed on me 10 years ago, i just disappear for them, like a person or just someone who still alive. I remember once ive heard from one woman that she though im dead. And not just like a joke or so. Everyday i working or thinking about it, trying to forget everything else, but after some time it is getting me. Someone say to me something, i`ll see something or something will happend. Thats it, always like that, everything is going fine, but then boom. Im done. All these minds, realization of my useless being. I feel the same things like some people after crashes or so, they remember their lifes before and they just understand what they lost and what they cant do. And now my future is really illusive, i should be dead for already like 18 or 19 years but still here. Here. And thats it. Now im in that mode. I cant kill myself because i remember life before, but im feeling like i dont have anything to do. Yeah. As always, shit happends, then one more, and i'm again on that edge.
Thank you for reading this post, i know you dont care, but i should write it, just because otherwise something will happend.
You still have me OP
What happened to you?
>>17101865
Thanks for that, atleast
>>17101876
What country are you from? I live alone in my apartment on the 4th floor too, very small closed in suite. I know the feeling
>>17101874
Some dna problems that poop up at my 2 y.o. age
>>17101879
Ukraine.
Try jumping out of the window, maybe 4 stories will be enough.
But don't take me seriously, I for example, would feel quite bad if I couldn't walk, cuz I like taking walks way too much.
If you're brave enough though, don't kill yourself just yet but try and find your peace and accept the retarded life you were given.
>>17101886
Ohdamn, I can understand you going through tough times, especially right now. Try to stay strong
>>17101938
Im not brave enough for this. AND I CANT.
>>17101940
We`ll see. Dunno now
>>17101938
>If you're brave enough though, don't kill yourself just yet but try and find your peace and accept the retarded life you were given
Damn, miss thsse words in your post, so answered only to first this joke about JUMPING OUT OF WINDOW. Lol. Yeah, probably, cant nothing to do with it. At some point my sense of life is just make others life somehow better (i mean thats why i dont have much money, just used to spend it on food, house etc not only for myself) but dont feel so. Still thinking that my life somehow disturb even people who sometimes need me.
Shit man. For every 5 people who come on here crying over nothing or hating the other sex, there is somebody here with an actual bunch of problems like you.
Its shit like this that makes me still come here, I give a shit anon.
>>17102397
Well thank you man. But yea. thats just words, cant nothing to do or say.
Havent scrolling 4chan for ages. Still browsing local imageboards, but here`s sometimes more comfortable.
>>17102426
Just out of curiousity, what is wrong with your mum anon? I mean, I understand if you dont want to say, but we may have a bit of common ground.
>>17102434
After her second husband left her for another one (he was really strange person for me atleast, came from other city, really hypocritical, to be fair, was drunk almost all the time, playing card games for money, but always was getting good jobs and shit like that) she just gone far away from this world. Religious and some witch stuff made her feeling bad at first time and she just becoming crazy from time to time if getting relapse. From first time already passed fev years. Oh yeah, she also have another kid (from this husband) but hes too young to understand how unlucky he is with this life.
>>17102473
Thats a terrible situation. My own mothers second husband is really odd too, drubk a lot, bullied her and hit her. I feel really bad for her, things must of been really rough on top of living in ukraine.
How old is the other kid? Hows he holding up?
>>17102488
Yeah, was pretty same. Funniest thing, he got back after last time (!) all because i was too good as person and let him live in our home because he hasnt job and wasnt able to find home anywhere at that time. Yeah, hes still here (already for a months or almost two) and we`re always brawling.
Hes only 7, so in any case doesnt understand everything. Just some simple things from this.
>>17102507
Does he hurt the kid? Surely you can call the police on him if he is violent towards you and/or the kid (assuming youre somewhere relatively stable like kiev or something). Where exactly in ukraine do you live?
>>17102532
No hes not.
And not now with mother. Now hes trying to do everything perfect, but still owe me money, even now.
Does place matter for you?
>>17102532
Where are you from tho?
Forgot to ask.
And what is now with ur sittuation?
>>17102551
Well, is it one of the more stable areas? Like I know there is a lot of fighting around donetsk and luhansk at the moment. Its just if he is violent towards you in a stable area you could probably call the police on him and get him to stop, even if it is temporarily.
If he is trying to be good, how come he is hitting you? Is he looking for work?
>>17102565
I'm british, things are quite decent for me, in contrast to your situation. Still not perfect though, but i'm keeping in good spirits
>>17102579
Kiev.
And no, hes not hitting now anyone, before only with mother, as i said because i let him live here hes trying to look good (for mother too). And he found job, but almost always asks me for money, like because he dont have anything, but this shit was always with him. From time to time he owe me in that sense. But almost never getting it back, huh.
Well, uk is cool. Kinda love all that style of things there. How old are you? Where are you working/study? Profession, i mean.
>>17102614
From what I understand kiev is decently stable? Anyway, what does he work as? I dont see why he wouldnt pay you back if he had the money (although my dad wont pay bills sometimes because he gets a sense of power from it, so hey).
18, I am studying to be a programmer, so hopefully a decent career. The uk has some good style, although things have gotten ghettoized a bit lately and marxism seems to be getting a foothold here.
>>17102643
Yes, kiev is fine.
Somewhere at city. I dont care, he`s always thinks that someone care about what he`s doing and likes to be in the middle, if you get what i mean, so i hear shit tons of stuff from him (what almost never was before, lol), but huh, thats not my problems.
Here`s lots of coders, kinda boring for me, was trying to start and till now my maximum is js and some simple expressions in some soft. I'm something around of vfx, but because i work atleast for food so i get as much money as i work for, lol.
Anyways, need to go, was hard day today. Good night (if its night at UK now, i dont rly remember).
>>17102671
Goodnight man, best of luck too
