I need some guidance on this family issue.
My little sister is 20 years old. The past 2 years she has been in a relationship, and living with her boyfriend, also 20. But here is the thing. All the day she spends her time with him. When they visit us, they are together. They go to the same University, same class . She signed up on kento (wtf) lessons just so that she could be him even more. She left her friends and quite literally spends 24/7 with him, unless either of them is in the fucking loo.
I am afraid she will ruin her life. She chose to sacrifice her youth and friends for this (in my opinion) deformed version of love. They are both so fucking desperate. I believe my sister chose the easy way out instead of involving from a teen to a young adult.
When I bring the issue to my mother she dismisses me saying "it's her choice".
Am I justified in feeling this way?
If yes what do I do?
How do I prevent her becoming a creepy cat lady/crazy loner/clinger?
Oh no, your sister has a fucking boyfriend. The horror!
Grow up OP. You aren't even close to being justified in feeling this way. You can't tell your sister what to do, she's an adult, and she isn't even your daughter, just your fucking sister.
You are justified. But some people are fucking retarded when it comes to relationships. If they break up she'll open her eyes to all the bridges she burned and be better for it. If not, well, I guess that's that
>being this bitter your younger sister is happy in a relationship and you're not
I don't really see the issue with their relationship or why it is a deformed version of love. Some couples are very intense, but they're probably having more fun than you've done in any relationship.
If you're only spending time with friends because you feel you need to, why even have those friends? If she'd rather be with her bf, why should she not be?
Things will mellow out as she ages or if they stay together longer.
>>17095941
the only warning sign to me is that they're shacked up.
but that depends on your world view i guess.
are you grill or dude?
>>17095950
Look I also have an older sister and she is in a 2-year relationship as well. But her relationship is, well, fucking normal. She has her friends, she spends time with me, time with Mom, and has her own hobbies. I never get to see my little sister without her bf dragging her around.
I was quite literal when I said she spends 24/7 with him. House, school, hobbys, everything with him.
>>17095959
>implying
I am not a fucking child and I have my gf. I am not 24/7 with her because everyone needs some fucking alone time.
>>17095952
My fear is that if this happens she will either be heartbroken to death or will have managed to let her finest, youngest years to pass without developing any social skill or personality trait. That is /r9k/ tier fate.
>>17095982
Dude
>>17095980
Man. 24/7 friendless life with her boyfriend being with her all the time. Are you telling me that being LITERALLY 24 hours 7 days a week 52 weeks a year with ANYONE is normal. Sure they have fun. That is not the issue. My issue is that she is burning her best years by not having ANY friends or her own hobbies. Shit, I don't even want them to break up but they have been together without stop for 17.472 hours. Is this healthy?
>>17095985
well, then, has she ever learned anything in life through hard knox?
>>17095985
Are you in love with your sister or something? Boo-hoo-hoo she won't spend time with you and Mommy because she's too busy riding her boyfriend's cock into oblivion every hour of the day.
Just because you and your older sister have never really been in love doesn't mean your younger sister is a freak for being able to spend a lot of time with someone.
When you stop being 23 you'll understand what it actually takes to be in an adult relationship. It's not having time to hang out with your bros and play videogames.
I'd also wager your sister doesn't spend time with you because you're a nosy, controlling dipshit.
>>17095999
M8 I'm going to ignore your trips and call you a faggot. It's not good for anyone to be that reliant on another.
>>17095997
She never lived life. She is 20 and got shacked up with him and his family when she was 18.
These are the best years nigga, I spent them chasing girls, being chased by them, doing stupid shit with my mates, learning how to dance, learning guitar, exploring the world.
Her experiences? Many many many dinners with her bf. And kento classes.
>>17095999
Why are you making this about me? FYI my older sister also misses her, because she works the night shift she hasn't heard from her in over 3 months. She doesn't call or text. She is my fucking family and yes I love her. The only news my mom, older sister and I get are that she is alive every week. Once a month she visits (with the bf). I don't care what the fuck my older sister is doing because this doesn't affect our relationship. She applies control. I get to see her talk to her, ask advice etc.
My older sister could be dead and nothing would change. I know nothing about her, and again, she is only 20 years old.
>>17096014
Not every family is as interlaced and desperately in need of social contact from each other as yours. I could not text my parents for months and no one would be hurt by it.
Also, I get that you're trying to 'help' or 'save' your sister, but not everyone's path in life is to do the exact same things as everyone else. Yeah, she's not living a healthy relationship because she's clinging to him so hard. Love does that to people. She'll either grow a spine and an identity eventually, or she'll spend the rest of her life with this guy and be happy.
Either way, it doesn't matter, it's not your life to live, bro. How about you work on your own life, and leave your sister to hers.
>>17095985
managed to let her finest, youngest years to pass without developing any social skill or personality trait. That is /r9k/ tier fate.
You do realize people can learn social skills at any point in their lives, right? Humans never stop learning.
>>17096114
You are saying this on a site with /b/ and /r9k/. Jesus man.
>>17096114
Also
>She will learn how to make friends, flirt, and live with other people at the age of ~30
Possible? Yes.
Probable? Nope.
If the bf dies or breaks up or suddenly decides to act like a man, that would be the end of her.
Anyways, I got the message. I will do nothing about this. Tomorrow she will visit us to celebrate Easter (with the fucking boyfriend of course).
But I will cut her off. Can't even speak to her without chasing her.
>>17096865
Wasn't Easter weeks ago?
why do you give such a fuck, just let it go
my brothers gf is a crazy drug addict who talks him into doing horribly dumb shit and they've been arrested together like 10 times, but i dont waste my energy trying to change him. also it sounds like your sister just really likes him what's so wrong with that
>>17096883
Orthodox bro here.
THE LORD HAS RISEN DEUS VULT etc
>>17095941
how does her BF feel about how close she is to him?
>>17096920
They both love each other - I think. There are no problems - from I what I can gather. Which is not much because she is a ghost.
He could be raping her all day and I wouldn't know because she has ZERO friends. She (claims she) doesn't want them. I think she is just being fucking stupid with her future.
>She start making friends when she is 30
kek
>>17096930
well, either she has Stockholm syndrome or she's the dangerous influence in his life. more likely than not is that she's obsessing on her own pretenses and he just hasn't stopped her, maybe he's insecure and this clingy behavior makes him feel reassured that she won't cheat. the friends thing is unhealthy though, try telling her it's wrong to abandon all her friends for the sake of spending extra time with this guy
Is this her first boyfriend? I was like this with my first boyfriend but it was in high school.
After two years of spending all my free time with him, doing nothing--just sitting there in the mornings before school because we were ~together~, I got bored with him. He was boring. I wanted to go hang out with friends but he got whiny when I did. He also said things like, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," which is nice and all, but even I knew we were in high school and it's stupid to believe you'll end up with your first bf/gf in high school, so it creeped me out. So I broke up with him and actually felt happier. Didn't date for a long time after that; was just enjoying life.
Basically OP, I'm sure my friends saw what you see with your sister. I know after the fact that they called me "ice queen" because I always blew them off for my boyfriend and that still sort of stings, but I was stupid and had a crush. No, it wasn't love, because all of those feelings were very shallow, as your sister's likely are. They may be intense, but they're still shallow. Point is, it's her life and her decision to make. If you come at her and say "you're spending too much time with him," she'll pull away even harder and enjoy doing it because now she can "fight" for her "true love". Let this play out on its own. She'll either get bored and drop him, or the other way around, but it's not your prerogative to get upset because you think the best years of her life are being wasted. Let her figure that out on her own.
>>17096990
yes first bf. OK message received. I will let things go however they want to go.
>>17095941
>loo
greetings, britfriend. i am amused by your dialect
> "it's her choice".
this is pretty much all there is to it. she has to learn on her own. she has to make mistakes to do so. we all do. the best you can do is provide support and a non judgemental version of your opinion on the matter. unless he starts hitting her, then you can stomp a mud hole in his ass.
