I went on a date with a great girl. We got along swimmingly, had lots to say, laughed a lot, shared many commonalities etc. When we were together I didn't want the fun to end. But when I got home I felt nothing. It was like I didn't even have a good time with her. I had no feelings. I feel like I'll need to force myself to message her again. Big deal, right? All that means is that we're not a match.
This is actually the 5th time the same thing has happened in a year - meet a good girl, click instantly, go on a few fun dates, but then I feel nothing. No reason to see her. No warm fuzzy feelings. Nothing akin to madly falling in love and always wanting to see her.
A few years ago I was in this same situation except I ignored these feelings and forced myself to date her. After all we clicked and got along. It was actually a good relationship but I never felt totally in love so I ended it out of guilt.
Do I have the wrong expectations when it comes to dating and love? Is this normal? What can I possibly do?
For reference I am 25, dated only one girl but slept with a few more.
It just means you need to grow up.
You are like a child.
>>17094695
Possibly.
What's a healthy expectation of love? All these experiences make me feel like I'm simply hanging out with a friend.
Probably had some fucked up shit in your childhood. Did you ever get put in daycare/neglected/ or abused? If so, not the end of the world, but you probably aren't comfortable with intimacy. What you're experiencing could be just 5 flukes in a row, but that'd be unlikely.
dude you have only hung out a girl a few times.
You dont develop strong feelings for someone that fast. Well some people do...but those people should be avoided.
I hung out with my ex once and thought meh, I'll try one more time. Then one more time etc.
Around 3 months later and I loved her.
It's not gonna happen over night.
>>17094764
Makes sense to be honest. I guess I always had the expectation that it had to be hard and fast and when then it never was.
With you and your ex, did you two initially hang out as friends and love grew from that or was there a romantic/flirtatious vibe underneath the whole time?
>>17094792
I'm not that anon, but can confirm that I didn't fall in love until after I had dated someone for 3 months. We clicked and were flirty and attracted to each other, but I didn't give him my v-card until I was like "holy shit, I legitimately care about this guy. He's the person I think about first when I want to share something really great or bad that happened in my day."
>>17094806
We weren't romantic, though- not in the traditional sense. But we could tell we were into each other, though.
>>17094806
>>17094815
I really appreciate the advice since this is something I have no idea or experience about.
I slept/messed around with?my now fiance for about two months before some things happened and I stopped going over there. After about a week I had that 'missing him' feeling, but it wasn't love yet. So I went back, we started actually hanging out, and then about two months later he told me he loved me. I said I loved him too, and there ya have it.>>17094643
Man I know what that's like. Not feeling for so long, I've forgotten how to feel at all. I can fake it long enough to get through a date but when I get home I can't seem to care enough to want to maintain contact
Not sure how much of that is just me and how much of it is incompatibility
>>17094643
you arent wrong by any means. why should you force yourself to date someone you arent particularly fond of? might as well just sleep around if you're capable.
wouldnt it suck if you were dating some girl and felt too guilty to dump her when you finally do get those sparks for someone else?
im not saying theres a disney fairytale love at first sight hting around the corner. but we all have moments hwere we see someone, perhaps even someone we consider not our type or even rather ugly, but something about them catches our interest and we cant get them out of our heads.
its okay to wait for that. just dont complain if it you have to wait a long time. you can always 'settle' later if you feel you must. but id rather live alone than just in bland 'might as ewll' situation.
