21 year old here. Not a virgin, but my entire life I've never really gotten a break with the grills. I have many female friends, but 80% of the time, anyone I like is taken, and the other 20% I fuck it up by going for it too fast and putting them off by seeming eager, or I move too slow, or I'll get their number/facebook and they'll proceed to ignore me and were never interested in the first place. Had a handful of sexual encounters, but they were always drunken mistakes with people I wasn't into.
Anyway, things seem to be going well for once. Started hanging out and talking to this girl I've been into for a few months recently now that I think it's better to spend time with her than put it off and regret it just because she's leaving soon. Nothing's really happened yet because we've hung out less than a handful of times with other friends, we only hung out together on our own for the first time a few days ago, and I haven't been particularly flirty because I didn't want to scare her off like I've done before with grills I like.
My point is - I suggested we go get something to eat next week and go to a bar after, so I guess we're going to have a dinner date at first. She's cool, we have things in common and I find it very easy to talk to her, but I always had this perception that dinner dates are a pretty boring, stiff way to do a date. That'll be remedied when we go to the bar after, but how do I not fuck up the dinner date part? How do I make sure we have a good time?
>>17092548
You're absolutely right. It's also hit and miss with what you say when you first start dating somebody.
If you're socially awkward, movies or restaurant with table games are a good way to go until she gets to know you and that you're quiet.
If that's out, just ask questions about her. And say wow or that's impressive
>>17092548
Like all dealings with women, she's really in it for her own feelings. If you can make her feel good, about being with you, she'll follow you around no matter where you want to go. Rather than making some specific plan that doesn't account for her mood in the moment (the only thing that really matters to a woman) it's better to learn to read the situation, and adjust the date on the fly based on her mood.
Is she annoyed because she wants to talk but the venue is too loud/sticky/skeevy? Have a quieter, high-class place in your back pocket to take her to.
Is she bored just sitting in a bar or coffee shop? Know about some live music or dance club to take her to, to let her get ramped up a bit.
Date planning isn't about specific times and places so much as knowing what's around so you can tune the date as you go. You don't have to change venues every hour if things are going well, you're just trying to keep her entertained until she's getting in the mood to advance the relationship.
>>17092865
After doing this for a while, you'll start to learn how to advance a date, and how to read women, and pick ones that you actually like spending time with. If you're a couch-potato but you're always taking out girls who want to party, you'll either bore them, or bore yourself grinding in noisy clubs for hours.
Similarly, some girls are really into shows or movies, so a good date for them might be going to see something, then having a place afterward to talk about it. If her idea of a date was grinding in a club then dancing around a beach fire in the nude, this kindof date will be boring for her, and it will fail for you if you can't keep up the energy with her.
I find that for the shy/reserved types, day-dates are the best. You can usually find something on the weekends to go walk around and see, like an art festival or fair or garden or someshit. It takes some of the pressure off you, because there'll be a lot of interesting things to talk about. All you'll have to do is talk about how she feels about the things you see, then play off that.
Day-dates for high-energy girls can be outdoorsy or sporty, just be sure you can show up.
At night, you're doing something that's a stereotypical date, and the onus to perform will be placed heavily on you. You'll either be taking her somewhere where interaction is hard (dark, noisy, a live show) or where other men will be fishing for pussy and you'll be unwittingly putting yourself into direct competition.
>>17092896
not that anon but thanks for effortposting
Finding a girl you're actually compatable with can take a long time
Don't worry about fucking it up
A good relationship is very natural and everything just kinda clicks
Don't try to force it to work out
