I'm having a hard time lately. I'll lay in bed at night for hours at a time thinking back on times in my life that I didn't stand up for myself, got scammed one way or another, and embarrassed myself. I get really pissed off about it, sometimes at the other people involved, but mostly at myself for doing stupid shit.
This shit is pouring over into my daytime hours too. I'll just be driving or sitting at my computer and something embarrassing that happened to me will pop in my head and I'll just cringe to the max and be disgusted with myself.
I have no idea what to do, please help.
pic related, what I do when I think of my past
You have to acknowledge everyone does cringey shit from time to time, but they get over it. You're probably the only one that remembers these instances in the first place, but you can see your mistakes and actively work to do better in the future
>>17090402
It's just so constant, and I have so much stuff to cringe over
I do the same thing.
One thing that helps me is to try to not take life so seriously. We're all gonna be worm food compost one day. Don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy your life
>>17090215
All spergs do this sometimes.
Just realize that the past is the past.
Yes, you fucked up. But what are you gonna do, hop in your time machine and go change history?
btw pic related is one of the worst
>walk out onto street
>some guy approaches me
>"hey you got a light?"
>"nope, don't smoke"
>"aw, alright"
>"thanks, you too"
Think about this
The brain farts. It does more regularly than people want to acknowledge. Some people happen to be lucky or know more about how to get out of a cringey situation but it happens, specially if you want to break the mold and take risks.
So take the chance to learn from bad experiences and consider you are not in the past but the present.
I have the same shit.
I'll basically go on for most of the day doing stuff that distract me from it - meet people, play vidya, study, so on so forth, when it accumulates and reaches a point where I can't do anything anymore, I take anxiety or sleep medication (or get drunk if meds are unavailable) and then go to sleep. Its usually bearable again tomorrow.
Is there a permanent solution to this? no. Not now, anyways
>>17090464
lol. i am a sperg, fuck.
Your pic is me on a good day. I fucking suck at socializing to any degree irl
I tell myself it's in the past, I can't change it, I've made my mistakes, I'm human, I need to move on etc., but it doesn't make me feel any better lol
>>17090215
I used to do this all of the time. What helped me is acknowledging I did something cringey, understand why I did or said what I had, then tell myself to learn from that, and to come to peace with it.
I'll give you an example, which isn't that big of a deal. but it is something that has bugged me a while
>be in 2nd grade
>guest speaker, he brings a pet ferret
>asks us if anyone knows who Isaac Newton was
>I raise my hand enthusiastically and proclaim "Is it your ferret?"
>As the class left, he let people pet the ferret. Out of shame, I declined.
Kind of a regret in my life. But I've accepted that I said something stupid. No big deal.
>>17090556
lol. that's cute. i bet everyone thought it was funny.
>>17090556
This is a perfectly reasonable assumption, dude. You were making an inference based on new information by assuming that the new name applied to the new creature, because both were being presented at the same time. You asked in order to confirm this theory, and found that there was no correlation. This is how learning works, man!
>>17090215
I'm going to lay the craziest shit on you right now, OP; but this is legit how I got over what you're talking about, which I suffered from something awful.
Shame is a product of unintended consequences. You feel embarrassed because you recognize, after the fact, that your actions failed to meet the expectations you have of your behavior, and in the present you experience regret.
However, what you don't know is all of the other consequences of your actions which yielded positive results. This is because people don't usually know when they're learning something from someone, and if it's because of something they saw them do, they're not going to stop them later and thank them for doing it.
Therefore, you need to realize that the same things you find embarrassing are things that have also had positive effects which, because you have limited information, you just don't (and perhaps won't ever) know about.
Thus, your embarrassment is ultimately a function of the necessary ignorance we must suffer as human beings, and one of the defining traits of the human experience.
It's grandiose, yes. But it's better than thinking it was all for nothing. Either way, it helped me, and I hope it helps you.
