Why does jealousy cause me physical pain? When I see a woman with extremely attractive features, all I can think about is "I don't have a good opening to talk to her" and I get an aching feeling in my head and heart. It's especially bad when the girl is Asian there's usually either a language barrier or general distrust/unfriendliness towards white dudes.
>>17089232
>walking down the street
>see two asian qts
>they see me
>they literally turn around and run away
WHY
>>17089232
Anxiety. Creates stress. And gives your heart pain and heaviness
>>17089232
I used to get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I write it off to unrequited lust. I would always get triggered by girls with fine asses wearing those tight little cotton shorts that had stuff written on the butt, those really hit the streets while I was in college back in 2005 or so, and yes I'm an oldfag, now I have a lovely wife with a fine ass so I don't get bent out of shape as much anymore.
>>17089259
are you black?
because jealousy sets off the stress response in your body, since it makes you anxious. heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, and you're more acutely aware of things going on in your body since your senses are heightened.
>>17090387
Interesting. Thanks for the answer.
I want to learn to shake the feeling off. It usually comes in mixed with hefty doses of inadequacy and upward comparisons. I suppose it will become less of a problem with greater life experience/confidence.
>>17089273
>tfw spent entire teenage years up to today feeling nonstop anxiety and stress
>tfw often feel literal heart pain out of nowhere
Maybe I'm dying. That'd be nice.
>>17090407
yes, gaining more self confidence and a higher self esteem can help ward off jealousy. for most people it's just a normal emotion, but if it bothers you a lot it won't hurt to work on it.
an easy method to help when you get jealous is to do "thought catching" (clinically known as CBT). basically whenever you feel jealous and stressed, you can follow a script from an app or journal that asks you to reflect on how you're feeling and how to provide a logical response to an irrational thought (like the ones caused by jealousy). there's a great app called CatchIt that's on androids and iphones if you'd like to download it.
>>17090411
pretty sure theres an actual condition from stress/sadness that can cause heart problems.
One of the best things I learned about dealing with my anxiety was to BREATHE.
I never realized that when I'm nervous, I stop breathing. I literally hold my breath until I get neurotic from lack of oxygen.
I started doing deep breathing exercises, and it helped tremendously. Now when I get nervous or anxious, I take a deep breath and I'm back in control immediately.
When you're in control of your breathing, you're in control of yourself.
>>17089232
We don't know why we are attracted to the people we are. But we do know that we can learn to overcome our impulses and properly contextualize them. Try this - instead of immediately associating your attraction with the impulse to physically interact with them, mentally freeze that moment and imagine them floating in front of you like an RPG character-building exercise. Rotate, spin, unclothe, and store the image so you can jerk off to it later. Then completely separate that data from anything whatsoever about who they are as a person or whether or not you have anything in common with them, and get back to living your real life with the actual people surrounding you. I know this sounds crazy, but it will help you get over the mistake people make by assuming that the imaginary world of ideals they associate with the people they see has anything to do with those people.
