I bought a couple of videogames using my ex gf's credit card a couple of days before we broke up.

I'm glad I did.

Said this in the previous, but her it is again.

Every time I talk to her, I always go and analyze her actions during that conversation, hoping to find a way to make us happen.

Though I know it won't, she's rejected me once already. I guess it is partially a gut feeling that everything may fall into place down the line.

I'm going to kiss you on the lips tomorrow and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

My crushes speech in public speaking almost drove me to tears. You can just see that she meant every word that she said. She is too good of a person for me. (Has volunteered at Special Olympics, Soup Kitchens, Hospitals and other places)

And what have I done? Absolutely nothing.

i know you sent your dirty panties to me in the mail to try and turn me on, because i told you i was asexual and you're a manipulative narc who disrespects boundaries.

the police are about as amused as i was. see you in court, psycho.

>>17085717
I know it definitely is not someone I know, but initials?

>>17085703
(I don't know what the drill is.)

I'm getting sick of even characters in dystopic settings having better lives than I do. I watched that new Louis Theroux thing, and it seems even the fucking hopeless alcoholics have better lives than I do. They certainly live bigger and manage to have meaningful relationships.

And then I read something where the nukes have fallen, and people STILL have better lives. I'm fucking sick of it.

>>17085703
I have fallen in love with my best friend. I make love to his underwear.

I'm going to start stalking my ex and I'm excited about it.

>>17085840
SAME but it's just lazy writing in fiction. there's a problem in media where the only perspectives we get are written by priveleged creatives, because you need to come from money to get into those fields.

watch more independent shit. and read zines. you'll feel less alone.

I have been working on this fucking painting all god damn day and I still haven't finished it. It's not even that complex. I should have been finished with this piece of shit 6 hours ago.

>>17085933
been there, back when I painted.

Just remember that it took Mondrian two years to figure out where just one little red square would go.

Yesterday I wanted to cut myself really, really fucking badly, but I did not (and of course I'm glad I didn't.). My other coping mechanisms weren't working and I defaulted back to cutting myself as a solution (though of course it isn't one.).

Today I'm feeling a lot better from an emotional standpoint, but I've only been up for about an hour and in that time all I've done is masturbate and take a bunch of cold and depression medication and chug down a lot of soda and caffeine.

>>17085840
>>17085929
It's what happens when privileged people with no experience of real poverty try to depict impoverished characters.

Can you imagine if Hillary Clinton wrote The Walking Dead?

>>17085951

(lel, hillary IS the walking dead)
bernie4lyfe

I don't know why, but my instincts are telling me that it will work out between us. Though she already rejected me two weeks ago.

My gut is telling me to be friendly with her, and the pieces will fall into place for something to happen between us. But how soon will it happen? I only have 4 classes with her remaining, and a final exam after that.

>>17085736
C. going to kiss T.

>>17085879
As long as she or anyone doesn't know I wish you the best. Don't do anything stupid.

>>17086124
Yeah and then you get hit.

>too late

I'm in such a strange spot in my life but I know it's still early and I shouldn't complain. I don't have friends or family I like so I am alone and cannot become or stay interested in most people so I gave up trying after a month. My first real relationship last year was nice and I learned a lot but he had too many problems so it had to end.

I have some mental problems that I don't understand. It conflicts with everything and takes up mental capacity, my time and sanity.

I just want one person that doesn't annoy me, is smart and will have sex with me a lot.

I feel like nothing is real, I will kill myself before I snap.

Did you really mean it? Would you have called me cute, if I weren't teary-eyed and anxious?

>>17085879
same!! not to 'get back together' or even because i like them at all, but because they are a godawful BPD narco piece of shit

got my fake art accounts and puppet emails already set up. gotta sign up for a new skype, though, and windows10 account synching fuckery needs to be disabled, but it's not like i was stupid enough to register my real name to that shit in the first place so.

IP blockans and intro phase begins on my vacation. : D

(she's a weab scam artist; i already did as much as i could legally to prosecute her tax evasion, plagiarism and verbal abuse / threats, and now i'm just going to ruin her carefully groomed online image and maybe save a few gullible spergs the terrifying witness of her shitnannigans. bitch preys on autists and overseas contacts, lying to extort pity money like she's starving and not even trynta hide the skype purchases. ain't ever seen a hungry bitch that fat either, so)

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>>17085703
>be me
>ask qt out
>makes me wait three weeks for answer
>eventually answers
>it's a no op
>I've been making out with someone the entire time I made you wait
>dafuk.exe
>people find out
>they pissed
>find out that people confronted her saying "Anon was a genuine guy and you had to fuck it up."
>hellyeah.exe
>cut contact with the bitch for sake of health and mental state
>work on le self development
>good grades and longboarding desu
>find out she's bragging about dumping me and then wonders why I refuse to speak to her let alone be friends
>people not talking to her
>bitch is losing friends
>feelsgudman.exe

every single moment i'm thinking about killing myself so i'm sorry if i don't seem super 'present' all the time but fuck it's amazing i'm even the physical format of present

I attempted to force a disabled girl into giving a blowjob in exchange for cigarettes but it didn't work, she told everyone, but nobody believed her because she was disabled.

I didn't actually touch her though but I'm glad I got it off my chest now

>>17086275
fistbump.gif

I'm having a massive panic attack and I can't fucking breathe I feel like my chest is closing in on itself and no one cares everyone hates me I'm.better off dead and I'm a fucking waste of space

>>17086499
Take a breath, see a therapist, drink alcohol until you can get true help.

>>17086470
Fuck it, not even a whole person.

Do not feel bad about it, as it should have been thrilled you were even interested in using it's mouth.

>try online dating sites
>Women that reply back are either retarded or have issues

Can i get to know a normal girl please.

>>17086823
>looking for normal on the internet

I wish I knew when it was okay to try to reconnect with you.

I'm guessing the fact that you refuse to look me in the eye means that you're not ready yet. But you texted me that one time to make small talk, which makes me think you do.

I just don't want to make things worse. I can't do this. I'm not good at this. I need your help. You said it yourself, this is a two-way street, why is all the pressure on me to take the risk?!

Just say something. Say anything.

>>17086864
I love you

I'm happy.

This positive thinking shit actually works if you commit to it. The hard part wasn't so much looking for the bright side or recognizing and stopping negative thought processes in their tracks before they really got rolling; it was finally realizing that as "true" as all those thoughts were, that they weren't useful. It was recognizing that just because something is accurate, that doesn't make it good or FEEL good, and deciding that after such a long time not doing it, I wanted to FEEL good.

And I'm proud of myself for recognizing my problem. I'm proud of having the discipline to learn to how to make a habit of treating myself better both in my thoughts and my actions. I like the man I'm becoming and my only regret is that I resisted this for so long.

I think I hate my childhood best friend now but I don't have any good reason to. Maybe it's because he enjoys his life.

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I accidentally put myself in the friendzone with my crush/friend/friend crush/whatever. I joked with them that I stalk them out of love, and they laughed but kind of looked creeped out. I tried correcting myself by saying "oh no i t-totally mean in a friendly platonic family-like way totally yes sir" and they said "oh yeah same".
Will I ever escape this purgatory and get some type of romantic affection? Jesus.

What have I done to make you act so cold to me? At least tell me so I could stop wondering in anguish.

Oh my god, just fucking stop. You wrecked our relationship, and I tried to be nice and be your friend, but you wrecked that too. All of the things you're doing now are just sad and pathetic. We could've gotten back together, and we could've been friends if you didn't turn into this out of control crazy person, and blaming me and obsessing over me doesn't help. Just let it go already, and take care of your mental health, because you've clearly gone off of the deep end.

>>17086908
Then why did you leave me?

>>17087023
Because you left me alone in the relationship.

>>17087006
Initials?

>>17087040
His are MC.

Thanks for visiting me
Now you know where I am..
I can't wait to see you again
We can walk down that hill
Into the sunset
Take turns to make each other
Breakfast that day
Embrace each other
And the morning
Thank you
For everything
For all we got through
And how we still saw each other
In perfect frames
Of happy places together
Forever
I love you
I'm yours

And sit by the water
Then home again

Fuck off with your attention seeking already, J.

>>17087089
Fuck You J

I'm incompetent, depressive, forgetful, anxious, I have trouble regulating my emotions and lack discipline. I've forgotten when I'm to come in to work and come in late countless times and will probably lose my job eventually. Probably the best job I can get my hands on and I'm ruining it. I will end up in a bad place when I run out of people willing to help me out

>>17086124
T.'s last initial?

Where the fuck are you? You keep hiding. Why?

Yesterday was my brother's birthday, he has been dead since december of 98. I was in junior high at the time. A big part of me died with him, I lost more family in my 20s. Finally started getting my shit together around two years ago, back in university, doing rather well. But nothing can replace my brother.

Please don't invite anyone else
Please don't invite anyone else
Please don't invite anyone else

We rarely get to hangout, so I enjoy any one on one time we get to have

>>17087006
What's your first initial?

I can't stop thinking negatively

>>17086933
Keep telling yourself that.

>>17087089
Don't we ALL have a little J in us?

>>17086275
so let me get this straight you cancerous meme spewing 9gag little fagstick
you got REJECTED, because guess what, you're not owed a woman just because you fucking ask for one
and she's the one getting the flack

fuck off and die, fucking creepy loser

I hang out on /adv/ and give advice I was too pussy to ever use in my own life

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Nothing interests me enough to stick with, and I see no point in pursuing anything that doesn't - after all, ultimately life is about fulfilment/enjoyment, and I'd get neither by forcing myself.

My financial situation is sufficient to survive even without actually working, on account of disability money and the like, so not even that is needed.

It makes no sense. Surviving without achieving anything feels hollow, but all achievements are empty if they mean nothing to me specifically. And even those that do, well, it doesn't last forever, does it? So I helped a few people. Even talked someone out of committing suicide. It felt great, like I've made a difference. But that feeling vanished years ago. I haven't even spoken to that person since that time.

I don't even have hobbies, since nothing really... clicks. I've tried so many things. Various forms of art, more practical pursuits, all that. All but the physical - on account of my disability, those are out.

What few people I can call friends advise me to find someone. Get into a relationship. So many problems with that - the first of which is that the sheer apathy radiating from me tends to give a bad first impression. And besides, with nothing else to do, I'm likely to get way too into it, too fast, hoping it'd fix me. Hell, I know I would. I have to stop myself from being too fucking clingy even in friendship.

But I don't know. It's getting harder and harder to make myself go on, just constantly escaping from feeling shit by jumping from one diversion to another, but never actually sticking with any long enough for it to work.

At least I didn't go for drugs yet, I guess. That'd be a fucking disaster.

>>17087283
yeah, so?
therapists give out advice they've often never had to employ themselves
who gives a shit

You told me, we're not going to change- so I stay faithful to you, waiting for you to come back.
And look at you now, travelling with your girlfriend. Flaunting her on facebook.

Just fuck off

>>17086152
I hope that she does hit me then I can kiss her again.

>>17087280
waiting 3 weeks to get a goddamn clue, jesus christ what a retard
who the fuck would honestly want to date someone like that?

You're perfect in my eyes. I know you'd disagree. It's becoming so hard to talk to you, my feelings are too overwhelming. I really wish I could tell you but I might scare you away, or worse, I might lose you. It's such a typical problem huh? You'd tell me to chill. Believe me I'm trying.

I am so fucked up. I'm so affection-starved that I'm actually jealous of a friend whose girlfriend only gives a shit half the time, and is massively abusive the other half. Even as I'm telling him to break up because it's just a spiral of destruction, I feel nothing but envy.

I want to hang out with this girl but she's done this thing twice already where she waits til the last moment and tells me her grandma is sick and she needs to be at the hospital

But everyone's telling me not to give up, not to move on like a normal person

And she told me she would call me but nah no calls

Shit, man. I suck at this dating thing. I mean what would I even talk to her about anyways? My life is completely uninteresting right now and we used to be pretty awkward to each other back in "school". And she tried to reach out to me and like a dumbass I just decided to sit somewhere else because I was fucking blind. Can't make this shit up goddammit what a dumb fuck jesus christ god damn why did I do that someone fucking stab me

>>17087223
T

>stopped using Spotify
>started using Spotify again
>see all the mac miller and lil dicky I favorited
>don't like rap I like old classic country
>mfw I have no face to describe this feeling
>mfw used to listen to rap for the irony and enjoyable beats

So I always manage to make this girl smile, but I ain't attracted to her at all. She keeps saying "dude if you were like this with some other girl you would get mad pussy" but I can't. I fucking can't. It's just this girl, and I don't even fucking want her. She's a good friend and all but just no. I'm an unfunny motherfucker when it comes to literally every other person on earth.

I don't understand myself at all. How can I pass a Navy nuclear qualification test with flying colors, but fail at a college level statistics class?

>>17087474
Because we're don't all fit the same mold?

Really it's just that simple. My dad fails at really basic math but holy shit does he know every little thing about almost any religion you can think of.

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>>17085714
I passed by the same shit. That is because i was trying so hard. I know the fact i should talk to her like a friend. I'm 20 she 14 and this is my story i wrote a personal book with my feelings for her called "love and sorry" reply and I'll write my story i really need to talk about it help

I'm at a complete loss.

Let me open up by stating that I am, by no means, a good person. My capacity for empathy is... limited, to say the least, and there's a bunch of other problems I could go on about, but this isn't about me. Well, not specifically. This is just to put things into perspective.

See, I don't normally feel much when something happens to people. Even those close to me. I know it makes me a bad person, but it's not as though I can make myself feel things on purpose. I've gone through many family members' deaths without feeling much of anything. I miss them, certainly, but that's about it.

Here's the thing, though. One of my friends was in an accident a while ago. Lost both of their legs as a result. I've never really thought them as the closest of my friends, or anything like it, but the weird thing is: when I heard about it, I was afraid. Terrified, even. I've never been as worried for another person before. When I found out they'll be mostly okay, the relief was overwhelming - but then, the sadness when hearing of the amputation as well. Thinking about it more, I've realized that, well. I've never thought much about the friendship we've had, was never sure it can even be called that in earnest, but at the same time, I've never cared about anyone as much. I visited them often, and, well, this is the problem.

Everyone who knows me can tell this is different. Odd. Many think I'm putting on a show. Faking sympathy or something. Even the friend themselves seem somewhat off-put by the sudden attention and concern, and frankly, I am as well. I don't know how to handle this. I can't just tell someone I care about them more than anyone, especially given it's not even really a romantic interest, which such a statement would imply. And again, the bond never seemed that strong until the accident, I really doubt they feel about it as strongly as I do now, given what a wake-up call it took for me.

I just don't know what the fuck to do now.

>>17087480
But its just school in general man. I have a hard time unless I actually care about it.

>>17087291
If you don't mind me asking, what's your disability? I'm not sure what to offer you in terms of advice, but if it's at all possible - physically and financially - would seeking out beautiful things be any good for you? I don't know how much your disability would hinder you, but could you find spots to look out from to enjoy vistas, or travel, or maybe visit museums and art galleries? If you can't make beauty yourself, maybe you could find some solace in simply enjoying it.

>>17087514
It's actually a combination of several medical issues. The primary effect of it all is that my legs are barely functional - I can walk, if I have something/someone to lean on, and only do it for limited amount of time, but that's about it. It's wheelchair time beyond that.

Travel is a possibility - well, sort of. Short distances. Disability money is sufficient to survive on, but after the living costs and required medication etc, not much leeway in extra spending. Enough to be comfortable, but not TOO comfortable, and definitely not travel abroad for sightseeing.

Still, it's not a bad idea, and it's one I've had before. Even without travel, there is plenty to enjoy - and yes, it does help. But ultimately, after a day spent outside enjoying the scenery, the realization comes that it was another day spent doing nothing. That is the core of the issue, ultimately. It's not lack of enjoyment in general - I can have fun in a multitude of ways. It's doing something that feels like it matters, even if it's only to me. And I guess I just can't convince myself that simply enjoying life and the world is a worthy action in itself.

I love you. There I said it. You know I do but I can't say it because you don't feel the same way. But, I'm not moving on ever. You are the one. I don't care if you get a boyfriend or a husband or if you die. I just won't stop. Nobody compares to you or ever will. You are my life. You are the reason I wake up in the morning. I just wished you felt the same. If I can't have you, why am I even alive?

I am getting drunk every other day, am almost playing game 24/7, the music I listen to is sad, how can no one see I am fucking depressed as well right now? I have just cut my left arm completely open because I don't know what the fuck to do with my life anymore. What the fuck?! I am not sure if I want to live, but not sure if I want to die, someone end this bullshit, everything is a god damn lie.

This is bad, but every time I read a letter from a dude that wants to kill himself I hope it's you.

>>17087549
Hey anon, dont leave us before we get a chance to know you.. bandage that arm up and tell us your story

>>17087533
I suppose it's more of a core thing that makes it so hard to enjoy. I know when I used to walk around for hours I loved it, but I was still in high school and had nothing to worry about on my Summer break. Enjoying the same scenery during varying times, seasons, and weather might make it a little more interesting/engaging in the moment, but I don't know if that'd help you feel like you accomplished something.

Could you maybe volunteer? Simple stuff like a program at the library where you help kids to develop reading skills could be really rewarding if you work well with them. Checking out opportunities like that could help you feel like you did something worthy, especially if you can watch the progression of it.

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Broke up with my gf of 5 years almost 3 years ago.
The past week or so, I been thinking about her and want to try and get back together with her.

>>17087549
>>17087568
We're here to listen if you've got the time, man.

>>17087559
That's a disgusting obsession

>>17087568
>>17087573
Well, I've cut my other arm even more badly just now and I'm not even sure if I regret it.

I have been depressed for 9 years now, have constant anxiety, a panic disorder and life seems increasingly worthless to me. I'm drunk right now fucking shaking. All my life I have felt ignored, been bullied, been emotionally abused by my stepfather for 4 years long and dropped out of high school and college. I have aspergers, ADHD and feel like a completely worthless shit. My life feels like a big gaping black hole right now and I feel like I'm completely losing myself. I have a treatment scheduled for my depression and anxiety, but they don't seem to be taking me seriously at fucking all. I feel like I am even being ignored by those who want to help me. For fuck's sake, what am I worth then? Maybe if I show up with cut and scarred up arms, maybe then they will understand my will to live is hanging from a fucking thread.

>>17087571
Perhaps, though endeavours which rely on helping people are... well, it's complicated.

First, some clarification. I've mentioned I enjoyed helping people, and it's true - but it's a selfish sort of satisfaction. I've never been particularly good at empathizing, in fact, it's so bad that I don't really feel much when other people cry or... anything, really. I takes a family member or close friend to bring out empathy in me.

Now, the people I've helped weren't that close. I still felt good about helping them, and I did want to help them - but it's a more conscious sort of desire to offer aid than pure and sudden compassion, I suppose. And the satisfaction I derived from it was that of having done something meaningful, that noticeably affected another life - and in a positive manner, at that - rather than the satisfaction of having done the right thing.

So ultimately, I feel like going out of my way to help people is extremely dishonest of me. I know they probably won't care, as long as they are given help, but the feeling of guilt would likely make it considerably less satisfying.

Man, I just really suck at all of this. I really don't like talking to most people, yet I keep wanting to contact you. I know we were really connecting when you came over to my house for the fire, but I was in my way to have you come closer. The last 4 years my heart and mind have battled over "love" and my heart lost. I don't feel I should ever try to love someone else because I don't deserve it. Yet now that I've been talking to you, my heart keeps telling me to go for it, no matter how much I try to silence it. The only problem is now I've been talking to you sense the fire, and you probably think I only look at you as a friend. I wish I could convey my true feelings, but I can't allow it. You're gone for the weekend and all I want to do I call you and ask you out on a date, but I shoot myself down with self loathing thoughts. Why must I be this way? Why can't I trust in something that my heart desires?

>>17087588
I'd just say try to find something and see how it goes. It'd at least be somewhat better than how you're doing now, and it might help you to learn to feel satisfied for even having just done it for yourself.

>>17087585
Don't end it all, and if you can, try to find a better way than the scars to convey the pain. If you could figure out exactly what you want to tell people, and convince yourself to do it, writing down a list of the points you want to make could help.

Even if you just want to cut yourself wide open right now, it'll just be another source of pain you'll need to work beyond. Please don't hurt yourself more than have already.

From the first day I met you, I could tell that you are insecure, but extremely kind hearted. This was proven true during two of your speeches. 1st speech was an Intro saying mentioning that you are now coming out of your shell. The other speech, which started to make me tear up, was about how you volunteered at the Special Olympics (Along with other places)

But your friend is a different story. I saw that he was scummy and boneheaded. This also was proven true during his Anti-Vaccine speech, and him trying to bang you.


I don't know why, but I can read certain people extremely well, just based off their face.

>>17087612
Well, I can't really argue with that. Doing something is definitely better than doing nothing, and I don't really have anything to lose.

It's worth a shot. Thanks, Anon.

How do you know you're an alcoholic?
Yeah, I drink like 4 times a week, but I can stop whenever I want.
I'm just bored.
But I'm starting to think that maybe that's just the addiction talking.

So how do you know?

I can't understand why i don't talk to her.

>>17087631
No problem, and best of luck.

>>17087580
Didn't I say I know it's bad? Now I'm hoping you kill yourself, bitch.

>>17087585
Well i can tell you if you show up cut up you will be in a ward for a while. It wont be a picnic and youllbbe given meds but maybe aome time away might be good so you can reflect without distractions. What type of hobbies do you have? I used vidya to escape but I. Recently took up gardening and the physical outlet has helped . maybe something to consider. Whatever you choose please know we care

N,
I'm a "nice person" because I believe in it. But the day you tried to screw me up, you didn't understand where I come from.
The boss is in my pocket. Most people hate you. And you trust me. Not because you like me, but because you are stupid enough to think I didn't see what you were doing.
Bad news, I'm not that "nice". The more you trust me, the more I'll push you to the exit door.
Sorry, I trusted you too.

>>17087673
I play guitar, produce electronic music, play vidya, cook and like to watch movies and series.

Honestly, the ward doesn't sound extremely bad at this point. I feel so fucked up, I feel as if I can hardly cope with my problems anymore and am losing myself in it.

>>17087658
You should...she is waiting

We saw each other and something immediately clicked for both of us. We spent almost every second together whenever we could. In our conversations we found out how much alike we are and how many common interests we have. I became so much more confident when I was around her and actually broke her out of her natural shyness and she was clinging on to me with my every move. We both know we wanted to be together. Its just too bad we found out that we're related

>>17087693
Go for it man. Give your mind a rest away from everything for a bit. Either show up at the ER or call ahead

>>17087572
Should I go for it?

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A B,
I really thought you were the one for me, but it just turns out that you lied to me so many times and screwed me over. I really loved and trusted you, but you just hid behind your lies hoping that I wont get wise. But I guess you're the devil in disguise. I honestly hope that everything goes bad for you so you can come crawling back to me, so I can shut you down like you did to me. You're a terrible person and friend.

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>just had phone interview and now an in-person interview next week

Please let this be the end of my NEET life. This job isn't glamorous but it will let me stop being worthless and maybe move out after saving.

>>17087671
Why would I kill myself? Few people matter that much to me, and I know you're not one of them

>>17087789
Job? Also how old are you for curiosity sake?

>>17087789

Good luck, bro.

i dont really do these but

christian, im in love with you. i still think of you as my boyfriend, and i plan to ask you to move back in as soon as im settled at my new place. youll love it, it's gorgeous. with the koi pond and all. i adore you, and i think we can make it work. i hope youre doing well.

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>>17087295
>>17086124
>>17085717

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
"LE I'M SO PUMPED IN MY ROOM ALONE AND WILL TOTALLY DO THIS THING I POSTED ON THIS ANIME IMAGE BOARD SITE GUYS!!!"

TOTAL BALLER !!

>>17087505
Unfamiliar situations are a bitch, let it lie for a bit.

If acting all considerate seems weird, well, the only real option is to keep going - and, most importantly, keep going after everyone else gets over the whole accident. That'll show it wasn't faking it.

>>17087858
This is beautiful, anon. I hope you guys make it.

>>17087291
Someone is watching, anon. Your actions and interest in helping others is not forgotten. What you have to keep remembering, every day, is that you are enough of a reason all on your own. You do not need to justify your interests, however fleeting, to anyone - you are not required to be consistent in what you like. We don't have to be architects in order to build great things, and sometimes we can't see the pattern at work because we're in the middle of the web. Bringing joy to others brings you joy, and that is greatness. Just keep being great, and allow yourself to love those moments.

>>17085844
hey, nice!

I also sniff and snuff my girl's panties, too. Shit's cool.

Try not to get caught, though.

>>17087505
It's a symptom of a pretty sick society when acts of compassion are seen as suspicious.

If you have felt like you aren't a "good person" for a long time, then you very likely feel regret for not being a "better person" throughout your life (not scare quotes, but recognition that these terms are subjective).

Therefore, the accident may have been a trigger for the revelation that you are always capable of helping others, and this specific incident may have been the first where you actually had the agency and means to make a positive difference, and it unlocked the horrifying realization that you could do more - almost like that eponymous moment in Schindler's List, where he starts counting the lives he could have saved (spoiler alert: he could have saved more lives).

So, the only thing you have to change is that you have to stop saying you're not a good person. Then, keep being a good person and don't worry about the disingenuous ones who question your motives - they're jaded, and it's not their fault.

Just keep doing the right thing, anon. It really does work out in the end.

>>17087645
Some say if you have to ask, you probably already know.

Some say if you drink alone, there's basically no other explanation.

Some say just stop drinking, and if you find it a struggle or are only able to do it because you know there's a drink waiting at the end of your hiatus, then you have your answer.

>>17087910
But what if I'm just bored?
There are just so many hours in a day.
And what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Being drunk means fucking spinning a pen passes time.
I just don't want to be bored anymore.

>>17087921
So learn to be drunk-minded without needing the alcohol. I don't know how long you've been drinking, but the trick is to not forget what being drunk is like, and just think like that when you're sober. Spinning a pen is amazing - think of the balance involved, the glue of the subatomic forces holding together the atomic structure, yet only existing as a collapsed wave-function of a quantum superposition. The relationship of the pen to your finger, your finger to your body, your body to the earth, and onward through up to this bizarre and improbable moment of the entire universe. Watch it spin, remember shit about your life. You know, just think like you're drunk. You don't really need the liquor, it just helps to train your mind how to let go of shit that doesn't matter. Boredom is the product of worry that you're wasting time. There's no such thing as wasting time. You don't walk up to a lowing sheep and say "get a job, hippy!" We're animals. It's okay to just sit and observe and reflect.

>>17087897
I don't know if it's so simple and... positive. Can a person who feels nothing when another suffers be called good? That's the sort of person I was, and still am for the most part. Caring about a single person, all of a sudden, doesn't change that - and it gives plenty of reason for the others to doubt my sincerity.

Honestly, I'm less concerned about their opinions, and more confused as to why I'd suddenly find myself so deeply concerned about someone who wasn't even the closest person to me. Well, no, I am concerned about opinions, but only that friend's specifically - after all, if they think I'm trying to appear more sympathetic than I truly am by spending time with them now, they'll likely want me to stop.

And for some reason, they're the one person I actually care if I lost.

Every time I pass the "I'm not a Robot" test, I hear an internal voice say "Well, if you say so..."

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>>17086941
I don't hate mine, but I just wish he would take some initiative. I had to stop talking to him, because the last time I did, he got a job.

C, I miss you. But we have nothing in common, and you need to realize life is shit and will continue to be until you do something about it.

I'm constantly angry lately. Everything just upsets me.

People don't act the way they should, many of the ones I see live their lives incorrectly and it annoys the living hell out of me. I don't bring up their failings to them since experience has taught me the folly of that but it doesn't help that I'm so goddamn pissed off all the time.

Also ever since I moved out stuff isn't fun anymore; all I can think of is money and cost.

>>17087943
Maybe you developed your aloofness from the logical conclusion that feeling bad for other people doesn't phenomenologically make anything better. Let's accept your premise that that doesn't make you good. But it also doesn't make you bad. It just makes you impartial. It's like you were sitting on the sidelines watching the game, and you see something happen where you're like - shit, I have to play in this one, and so you gear up and take the field. I usually hate sports metaphors, and I have no idea why I just used one. But the point is that you're in a situation where you know you can make a positive difference, and that's a good thing. You're wise to know that you can't in every situation, and that may have been a guiding principle of keeping your sanity in this society, and there's nothing wrong with keeping distance. The thing is not to kill it with self-doubt. It's not simple, but it is clear - you identify for an unknown and perhaps infinitely complex reason with this person. Don't question it. You can't make sense of it, and even if you do, there's no way to know if you're "right" because there's no one to ask why you feel like you do. It's just you. And you want to help, so you should. Just maintain clear communication and talk about things with this person so you can understand whether or not you're really helping.

>>17087981
Too long; didn't read.

>>17087801
The fuck? I just said kill yourself, fat bitch. You turn that into me caring about you?

>>17087789
Hey man, anything is better than just not having a job as long as it helps you get somewhere better.
Good luck to you bro. I hope you get it!

I can't bring myself to apologize

>>17087981
I don't think it's really about making a difference, and that's part of why it's so confusing to me. I mean, it's not like I can fix a lack of legs, and they've got other people to be there for them. I'm adding nothing here. There is nothing logical here, it's just a sudden realization that I care, and I need them, despite never having thought of that before.

Not caring may have made me consider myself a bad person, but it was easy. This is just weird, and makes me feel like I'm obsessing over something that shouldn't matter.

>>17087989
Stop trying to vent at random posters, getting it off your chest is not the same as lashing out like an overgrown baby at anyone you can, brat.

I lost all motivation to to anything a long time ago

I swear I cannot go three whole months without talking to you. It's barely been a month yet and I think I'm going crazy. I'm taking my creepy-ass stalker game to the next level - now I've taken to watching your company's promotional videos and pausing when I see your face and just staring at you and talking to my computer like I'd be having a conversation with you.

I guess the next step is to start masturbating to your picture and that old t-shirt of yours that I have but never gave back, isn't it?

and you think that you're the weirdo.

>>17088059
You are experiencing empathy, anon. Having empathy and letting someone know you acknowledge their suffering does make things better for them. It's okay to empathize, and we could use about 1X10^12312312512512354 metric tons of it about now because people seem to be turning more into utter solipsistic narcissists all the fuck over the place with every passing moment. You're not obsessing over something that doesn't matter; you're participating in humanity!

>>17088073
Dealing with this now.
I think I'm going to join the military.
They'll tell me what to do.
I'm competent.
But just empty.

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>>17087039
That's why you cheated on me with some wigger ass wannabe?

God, I may have been like Goku in that relationship, but I spent 100 bucks on those dance tickets because I was falling for you.

You always held me tight, and kissed me so tenderly. My ex saw us and kept glaring like I kicked her kittens. Everyone was stunned by you. You were gorgeous and shy, but still somehow wise and gentle. Too shy to dance, but still the Lady in Red.

When I was still getting ready to join the Navy, you said you'd live with me in San Diego. You'd go to college for medicine while I did my nuclear training.

Then... Christmas comes. And you start posting pictures of you and this Eminem imitator. I told you if he was what you wanted, then good riddance. It lasted two weeks.

After I went Army instead, I sent you a message telling you I loved you and I apologized for always being gone. What you said in response made me have hope for some kind of future version of us, a registered nurse and a sergeant raising two crazy little kids. You were on my mind the entire time I was at Basic. It's been two years, and you've had eight relationships since then.

I still have dreams about you. And when I'm not having dreams, I'm having nightmares about you loving someone else that just wants to fuck you.

When I get back, I want to hold you. I want to be there for you for the rest of your life. I'll skip work to nurse you if you get sick. I'll get up every time the babies cry with a smile on my face because they're products of our love.

And if that doesn't happen, I'll just be Gatsby; alone in a mansion with everything I've ever wanted, except for the woman that I can't stop loving so much. By that time, if you come back, I'm... scared that I might be too far gone to have any love left to give.

Pic related.

>>17088093
Hah. Wish my buddy would do this.

>>17087695
Initials?

>>17088204
E

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I REALLY hate that a bunch of fucking whiny-ass shitheads have taken the word "trigger" and made it what it is now.

What I've got, what happens to me and others like me, it's not "cool". It's not "I feel uncomfortable", it's "Something brought me back to THAT time, THAT event" and it fucking sucks.

I've been broken for five days and counting because of something objectively stupid, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but god DAMMIT. It's like I can't even talk about this shit without being lumped in with those assholes.

>>17088212
I know how you feel, I think, anon. I was triggered yesterday by something in a song and spent all day from early in the morning to late at night having a very serious and severe urge to cut myself and commit suicide; I genuinely considered checking myself into a mental hospital because I was afraid I might do something bad to myself, all because of a line in a song I heard on the radio taking me back to a really bad childhood moment.

Tumblr SJW shit is bullshit, man.

There's just no good way out of this. Meeting her was the best thing that ever happened to me. She's the one who showed me that my life doesn't need to suck, that I don't need to hate myself, that I can actually interact with people without it going horribly. She was the first person to genuinely care in years. I was so lonely until then. It's no real surprise I fell for her.
But I can't tell her. I know she doesn't feel the same. We're best friends, and that's that. And it's okay, but I'll always want more, and it's just tearing me apart after every time we speak. But if I do anything, it will be weird, and without her, I'll just slide right back into the pit of depression. I know it. When she was gone for a few months, I almost did. She's the only ray of hope I have, but the only way to keep it is to keep hiding how I really feel, and it's simultaneously infinitely better than what I've had for the past few years, and so much worse.

>>17087749
T R T?

I uh
started talking to people again

One is very very cute and sincerely someone I can have a life with I mean I dont have any friends so to have one best friend is gold

But they will probably just get bored with me and man

I just really regret wasting time with the people I was with rather than other people I could have been with in early college years. Now Im mid 20s and the more older I get, the more anyone younger will avoid me by principle.

So kinda hoping this will be a start to something good

>>17085721

What's stopping you from volunteering or doing similar things yourself to help others anon?

>>17085951

Please hang in there anon. I'm sorry you had a relapse. It's been a little while since I've been on here and browsed these kinds of threads and it always made me happy to see you being hopeful and optimistic about yourself and your future.

I really want to do drugs (weed or molly) with my friends but it is conflicting with my no drugs morals

>>17086933

Better late than never!

I know she's used me.
Honestly, using me.

Even if it's not something she does consciously, she has so little regard for me despite what she says.

It doesn't matter what she makes me feel or how I end up feeling; she has no intention of following up on any of it.
So long as things work out for herself, she's happy.

I know she's no good for me. I know she's like a drug, poison, a figurative roadblock keeping me from growing as a person.

But I trust myself and my perception of things so little, I can't let her go.
I can't imagine life without her. Rather, I can, but I could never bring myself to make that a reality.

Four years. I'm almost 25.

It was supposed to be a semester, and it has now been four years since I moved back in with my dad.

I'm always in between jobs, I can't get a car or enough money to move out, even if I did, I don't know what the fuck I would do, where I would live, what I would do for work, etc.

I want to be an artist most of all (yeah, yeah, I know) and I've only been doing sketches here and there, though I have been improving.

I can't do the military because of legit diagnosed autism, I don't know what to do for a trade, and I'm trying to get a better job than my current 3 hours a week dishwashing or my graveyard shift security I just stupidly accepted.

Get a day job, that's the first thing I need to do, then get a car.

I don't want to be 25 yet. Fuck me.

I really despise life, and almost wish I had not survived that accident. Hell, fuck the almost.

E,

You know how I felt, or you are a fool, but you will continue to lie to yourself and deny it, as that has made it easier for you. You are young, stupid, and will not realize what you have lost for a while longer. And you know what? I no longer care, as the void that has replaced you has nearly removed any higher emotion that I was capable of; thank you for that, as it has made much in my life easier.

I pity you, as I know the path you will soon walk down. I know how much you will loathe that I was right, one final time.

A,

I do not know what to make of you. I see something there, but have no desire to subject you to what I have become. That, and I am not entirely sure that you are on the level, or perhaps I am simply that cynical, now.

Still, I am considering taking that risk. Give me a reason to do so.

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My mother died when I was 4 years old do to some kind of drug overdose. Drugs were a huge factor in my family growing up, and I lived with an uncle and aunt who used heroin and alcohol exceedingly whilst I was growing up. Very fucked family to put it shortly.

Grandmother, who helped raise me, began to decline in health over a few years and I was basically left to deal with her and take care of her. My uncle and aunt never did jack shit to help her, and she told me multiple times that she wanted to die because she was in so much pain. She was also pretty bipolar at times do to the pain and medications she was on.

My grandfather was a heavy alcoholic and they fought constantly, and rarely had good moments.

My grandmother finally passed when I was 11 and me and my grandfather were left to basically lean on each other throughout the grieving process. I was already very close with him, but this bonded us even closer.

Skip forward to adulthood and he ends up passing away when I'm 22 from cancer. Luckily he was strong and mentally sound until just the last few days of the shit. It hit me very hard, but I dealt as best I could.

A year later his second wife, who helped raised me since I was about 14, passed away from a tooth infection reaching her heart. She had been partly suicidal up till that point because she loved my grandfather so much and it absolutely devastated her to see him go.

About a year after that (got I hadn't really stopped to think of how quickly this all happened), I lost my best friend of ten years to the same thing-a tooth infection reaching the heart. She was twice my age, but we shared ten years of amazing friendship and she will never be replaced. She is the one person in this world that I have yet to share a mental bond with. When she passed, it didn't hurt me nearly as badly as the other deaths for the simple fact that she was too happy of a person, and it wouldn't have done her justice to grieve in the same way.

I might have genital herpes but I refuse to get tested and just keep telling myself it's thrush or ingrown hairs.

>>17088504
Most of the population has some form of herps anon. Every human carries it in their genes. You should just go the the doctor already, we've literally had YEARS to learn how to treat this shit. It's not a big deal.

>>17088513
And have to tell EVERY girl I have sex with "hey I have herpes"

I'm 21, if any of my friends found out or my family it'd be over for me.

>>17088516
Maybe you should be questioning the people you hang out with then, because herps is literally the easiest fucking thing to treat. You take some medication, you don't have sex during an outbreak, bam, problem solved. If some guy told me they had herps I wouldn't even flinch. I would just ask them if they are taking medication yet, and to tell me when they are having an outbreak so we can be careful.

It's literally not even that bad compared to other std's, or sti's. It's just kind of annoying.

>>17088427 here.

Holy fuck, A. Blowing my phone up is not the way.

Aloofness -- How to break it?

I feel sick to my stomach knowing that I'm missing the ones that I truly want due to a systematic aversion. Even more, Im missing the opportunity to make someone else really happy. It's really heartbreaking.

>>17088526
It's the stigma I'm more worried about, though i appreciate you putting it into perspective for me. People my age are too immature to actually say anything but "ew no" at the mention of any stds.

Im done trying to convince you to care about me

Ive tried and all I end up with is half assed attempts at conversation where I initiate and lead and ask questions and you give me bare minimum replies

Why do I need you? Why should I subject myself to you and your constant disinterest in what I have to say? All I ever get is you telling me some irrevelant shit about your life and never inquiring about mine.

Then all of a sudden I get a few texts from you - a story or something, a long winded rant about your day with that enthusiasm that's always missing! Where did that come from? Suddenly you give a shit? Ahh..its an attempt to get some sympathy, youre attention starved - so better bust out the phone and talk to me, the only person who gives a fuck.

You were surprised I was the only friend you made that you actually talked to outside of school not about homework, that was no mistake or accident, It was a deliberate attempt by me to be close to you, I made you a priority in my life, too bad I was just an option to you.

I want to be with someone who respects my time and my effort, who doesnt think I'm a big joke and who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them.

We talk and the same thing happens, disinterest, and I say to myself "I'm over you", finally I can move on...then magically a few texts from you, always when I least expect it. Why do you do this

Let me fucking go

>>17088536
>It's the stigma I'm more worried about

Then don't be a part of the stigma. If they do the 'ew!' reaction, then treat them like the child and react in the way I just reacted. Because they ARE acting like a child and getting grossed out by something that barely matters.

Besides, would you really want to fuck someone that's going to talk down on you like your a piece of garbage, or a walking tumour, just because you have some easily treatable disease? That's like if someone sneezes near me and I flip out and go 'EW! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT, THAT'S SO GROSS! WHAT IF I GET SICK NOW?!'

Ya no. That's not how adults act in public. Adults politely inform the person to cover their sneeze next time, or say 'hey, don't sneeze on me like that again'.

>>17088559
Initials?

The fog is thick. I'm not afraid but I am lost. Maybe the light is closer than I think. I won't quit and I won't apologize. What's on the other side is still a wonder.
Don't create a monster. Ever.

I haven't quite left yet.

No no no. Please don't leave me. Everybody's getting bored of me. I'd hate me too but I can't be alone again. I should have died all those years ago but I didn't and now this fucking bullshit. Fuck fuck fuck

>>17088588
Mine? VAP

How do I get to you?

None of my "friends" actually like me, it's painfully obvious. They're just my friends because they're too weak to tell me they don't like me.

I don't understand why I'm disliked so much, but I am. At least my wife loves me dearly, and my son. They're all I should really need. But I want more human interaction.

>>17088612
Im glad you have a wife and son atleast, imagine if you didnt have them. Dont take them for granted. Its hard for adults to make freinds but you can try, join meet up groups to do shit, go places

>>17088536
My wife has herpes. I've been having sex with her for seven years, she's given birth, neither of us have caught anything.

You have to pretty much try to spread that shit in this day and age. If you care at all, it won't happen, it's that easy to control.

You must hate my guts. Or I'm just being negative again.

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I'm not the person you think I am. But I really want to be. Because you like the person I pretend to be. And I like you. Fuuuuuck, that feels nice to type.

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I work for a publicly traded company that is responsible for damn near unspeakable levels of investor funds and high levels of discretion.

I was "written up" by my superior for not interacting with my co-workers in out-of-office events, after hours.

I went to the one after hours that day, and my superior, his superior, and four others visibly spent $3k on cocaine before I left without another word.

My superior's superior then made me come into the office on my day off to tell me that if I'm that antisocial again at a company event, they'd let me go without another thought.

I was let go from my last position because that employer told me I was too distant from my coworkers, and that if I couldn't go out drinking with them and treat them like family, I didn't belong in that culture.

I fucking hate this country.

I farted

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I donated more than 300 grains of rice today.

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>>17088634

If my plans for this summer don't happen as, well, planned, I am going to... be really fucking depressed. =/

I want meaning in life, but I'm affraid to dedicate my life towards anything. It all seems rather pointless and silly. I guess Im just worried that I'll do something I end up regreting or something others will think I'm stupid for and then I'll have wasted all that time on something for no reason.

Ii just feel lost.

>>17088631
Can I please get a job

>>17088504
Man I went to an urologist for other issues and first fucking thing he asks ,any unprotected sex, I still hate myself for not just lying cuz he gave me a shot some antiobiotics and doesnt even entertain further discussion until I get tested

Have to go to another one, lesson learned with that question

>>17087226
Is this fucked?

>>17088699
You will definitely do things you end up regretting.
You will definitely do things other people find stupid.

That might sound scary, but it's the only logical way to have any "choice" over what you do. If you couldn't regret things, and other people couldn't find things stupid, it would mean there is ONE official meaning that everyone agrees on and has to live by. No questioning, no original thought, no purpose.

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I've always had a thing for the skinny minnies but lately it's like taking over my brain. I just really want to bang a borderline-unhealthily skinny girl (if not crossing that line). I'm a skinny dude myself and I feel sort of like it's a projected anorexia or something...I keep thinking about women with visible ribs, jutting hipbones and clavicles, thigh gap you could drive a truck through...

and I feel like a terrible person but thinking about how wrong and messed up it is just makes me hornier. I wish I could just get it on with a super-skinny girl and see if that gets it out of my system, but I feel like such girls want a big strong /fit/ guy, not a skinny dude like me.

>>17088742
No but I don't feel as close to you anymore.

>>17088699
it takes eleven years to master something. you have at least seven chances to become epic at seven different things.

do the work and the passion will follow.

>>17088254
stop using people to make you happy and learn to be happy on your own.

Fuck breaking up sucks. How do I get over this? I'm doing everything everyone says I need to be doing, but I don't think it's working. I have tons of school and work to keep me busy, but it sucks that I can't sleep because I dream of her.

flaring up again and im in so much god damn pain i cant even sit.
I cant do this anymore this week. Im losing myself

>>17088855
invest in a rich fantasy life; read a fiction or watch movies or become a superfan of a videogame series. this will actively trick your brain into thinking you have a net of healthy rl friendships, without all the actual effort of paying any attention to any other real person

or, you know, you could talk to your friends about this and let them get you drunk to the point it damages the part of your brain still obsessing. godspeed nonner

>>17085703

I'm tired. I like being alive and shit but it's so tiring, so difficult and pointless. Eat, sleep, die. For someone less beta than me there might be also the reproduction , but at this point I don't even care anymore. Everything stopping me from being a hero is a disgusting amount of pride and the high esteem that my friends seems to have for me.

D, I want to touch again
I want to kiss you
Your perfect move
The feeling is perfect
Breathlessly standing
Imperfect
As you release your
Long hold on my waist
And whisper in my ear
I love you
I need you to
Kiss me again

Maybe I shouldn't ever say anything. I always end up feeling delusional. Maybe I am.

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Most of my day and every day I feel dissociated from the whole world and social settings and I feel no empathy. If person does try to speak with me, the only feel I get is a feeling of somnolence and abruption. I used to feel loneliness sometimes, but now it doesn't feel so, I want to be alone most of the time. A possibility to form a bonding or something like that has just been lost or there is a emotional shell being created, I don't know. People frequently ask me about my looks, in terms of face, "why are you so sad?", "you've got an apathetic eye expression, you feign the life", "what's wrong, have you got any troubles?" even though I feel neutral.

If she seems sad and worried that I might get fired.

I'll tell her I love her.

I don't stand a chance with her, but at least I'll make things awkward so she'll be relived when I'm gone, rather than sad.

I will always hate my ex...
She completely changed my view on humanity.
I used to be such happy and loving person but she showed me, people are evil and will take any chance to capitalize.

Another day, another time I see her.

Asked her out twice. Accepted 1st time but rejected time 2. I will just be friendly with her and let shit run its course.

>>17088339
Thanks for your response. It made me smile. :)

You know I'm not one for revenge even though I talk shit. Everyone should stand up for themselves right? But, no I'm the bad guy. I'm the worst. All I wanted to do was do good with people who I thought were good people. Who I thought had great potential like myself. It's not like I tried to force anybody to do anything or tried to hold anything over someone's head although I could. I'm just cautious. I'm cautious with my heart and my time. I don't want to make bad decisions that either hurt me or someone I care about. Which is my problem in the first place. I seem to care about others more than they care about me or themselves But it's not like it's always been that way. But this, this is something I take offense to. This is the highest form of disrespect and bullshit I've ever experienced in my life. You think I can only be what you perceive me to be. Which is someone who only thinks of himself. You all misinterpret and apply my words and actions to be one thing: "you're perception". Trying to get reactions out of me because I hold back. Trying to lord over me as long as possible because it makes you feel good but always use me as a scapegoat when things go wrong. The worst part is the invasion of privacy. It's almost unforgivable. But that's what I get for goofing around. You guys think I'm bad now huh? I'm basically in a regressed vegetable state. I've been on autopilot for a little while keeping it in control.
Heal the world.
Kill the world.
It hurts.
Is it just negativity? Paranoia? Well someone has to set me straight right? That's what I'm hoping.

>>17088852
I can't. If I hadn't managed it in so many fucking years, how would I succeed now?
Spending time with her (and a few other people, to a lesser extent) is the only thing that really makes me happy. How is that any worse than finding happiness in painting, or collecting stuff, or anything else? Also, 'using' is a hell of an exaggeration. I'm not a fucking parasite - it goes both ways. Since there is nothing else, I'm always there when people need me. Especially her. I'm often told I'm the most reliable person they know. And it's not as though I expect something special in return. I mean as I've said, I know she doesn't feel as I do. I don't expect to ever change it.

Life's good. But, I FUCKING HATE YOU! I'd love to see you fail and die. Along with your shitty ass friends. You are one of the worst and most disturbing persons I've ever met. I am glad, tho. I know who you are. I truly do. And that's a fucking advantage in a world in which we barely have a clue about what's going on. Let them bitches crawl at your feet and kiss your ass until their teeth and tongues fall of. I know the truth and it hurts like hell but man, it makes me stronger and gives me power! I don't really hate you, however. I just fucking hate that we met. But that's fine too. You'll see.

Why is it like this? I am willing to let you help me. I need you. There has to be middle ground.

Don't take everything I say and run with it. Most of the time it's just unfinished hyperbolic junk being expelled for taking up space. I still don't know anything and knowing I know nothing makes me open to so many possibilities. But, I'm so close to not talking to anybody ever again. Except that special person.

A line without beginning.
Time is a day that echoes himself.
Time flowed differently when we were together.
Today seems like an eternity. The exact opposite of back then.
Why ? Why does time flows too fast when we are with people we like the most, and why does it flows too slow when we long to be with them ?
The answer lies within the brain. Because when i was with you, i only allowed myself to feel, not to think.
To feel your touch i liked so much. To feel your love i desired so much. To feel you. That was yesterday
Absent of all these things, i cannot help but think about yesterday. This is exausting. And this is today.
Tomorrow leads me to a path which has two roads : the two of them are damaged and cloudy, and there is a sign on both.
The one on the right says "yesterday" and the other one has "today".
I see you standing on both ways.
Because time is a day that echoes himself.
A line without end.

>>17089257
that's a switch from all those times you said you'd love me forever.

mind the contradictions, and get some goddamn help.

i know who you are, too; the only difference is i never pretended otherwise. and leave my anons alone, they don't kiss ass, they do it for the justice

I jerked off twice on the subway and countless times after class, and for personal reasons I don't see myself stopping these acts of public gratification any time soon.

>>17089269
help urself; codependency is not good for anyone

What a surprise, yet another shitty game in which the cast of characters consists of bland reused personalities slapped onto uninspired generic big titted OC-don't-steals. You really eat it up and it is pathetic. You will spend maybe half an hour for a few days trying it out before you realize once again that you cannot fill the void that you yourself have created by isolating yourself and pretending to have good mental health and healthy relationships with others. You are so utterly alone. I am certain you are miserable too, but you will never admit to that because you are too narcissistic and prideful.

I hope your poor health catches up to you and you knock yourself into a coma by passing out while wacking off to your precious underage generic 2d character designs. God you are the most pathetic and delusional excuse for a human being I have ever met.

You can stop listening to that song because I will never want to be around you again. I never did in the first place. You did a good job playing up the pity party to force yourself into my life. I was never so relieved until you left it.

>>17085703
My girlfriend of a few months enjoyed going to orgies and liked "sleeping with a lot of men and women". She posts nudes on the internet and wants to work as a stripper. although she sais that it's no necessity for her, I'm actually down for everything, because i myself engaged in a few threesomes and enjoyed myself, i love cumming on her face when i know that some neets are sending her messages asking what they can buy for my girlfriend... and the stripper thing... good money. and i can say that my girlfriend is a stripper. We're both very kinky and she enjoys getting beaten up by me.
we started posting photos of us fucking and people enjoyed it.
although this is all so much fun and all... i just know that all this is a huge risk.
>inb4 cuck
whatever

>>17089136
same.

honestly though you should talk to a counselor, get it all out. they'll give you some perspective; and there are people who still have your back even though they don't speak up. ask them to speak up. they know the truth.

Why does it feel so antogonistic between us? Just tell me you're real. That you exist. I'm not crazy, right? I saw you with my own two eyes that never thought they'd see you again. I just keep going in circles. Vomiting words and emotions that I've either been fed or Ive held on to for way too long. Fuck me. I need a good smacking.

>>17089046
nobody has the power to change any part of you, that you don't give them yourself. glad you have a broader scale for judgement, but don't let their problems paint the whole world in a bad light. keep perspective.

>>17089300
In some cases symbiosis is necessary.

>>17089322
>i fucking hate you
>i don't really hate you

found the bpd

>>17089295

I never said I'll love you forever. But I deeply cared for you. I know what I'm talking about. There are no contradictions whatsoever. If I ever hurt you and never said anything about it, please, forgive me. But that's it. I am too honest to maintain a broken friendship. Those first 5 years were amazing but we grew apart. And you shat all over my attempts to make it better, to save it.

I need to buy cheese and bread. It's raining outside. I left my umbrella in the car. The only pair of shoes that I can find at the moment are my flip-flops. I also need to take a piss. The couch is comfortable. Well, I'll eat the leftovers from yesterday's lunch. And take that goddamn piss. I'll buy the bread and cheese tomorrow. Seems like a plan. I'm proud of myself. Have a good one, m8s!

>>17089322
>I never said I'll love you forever.

sorry, you're right; what you said was nothing would change. and that i was "probably the closest thing to the love of (your) life" you were going to get.

>But I deeply cared for you. I know what I'm talking about. There are no contradictions whatsoever.

kek, lele

>If I ever hurt you and never said anything about it, please, forgive me.

You never listened when i did tell you; i'm not easily hurt but when you messed up you usually got scared and made excuses, instead of owning up to the fact we can both be really irrational and bitey sometimes. Eventually you apologized but it shouldn't have been such an uphill battle.

>But that's it. I am too honest to maintain a broken friendship.

You didnt even try to fix anything, you just steamrolled me wih generosity without ever once asking what it was i actually wanted or needed.

>Those first 5 years were amazing but we grew apart.

I HAD TO GROW UP. I HAD TO BE RESPONSIBLE. you felt left out, left behind? i felt like i was being punished just for being in a better situation, for making progress. you shouldn't have given in to jealousy and suspicion. you should have stuck with me through the bad.

>And you shat all over my attempts to make it better, to save it.

because, again, you didn't listen to what i actually needed. i didn't need your favoritism or flattery, i needed some honesty and moral support. i didn't need a sychophant, i needed a whole, independent human being to keep sharing their friendship with me, even if that meanr sometimes disagreeing or seeing the ugly parts. i needed forgiveness and respect, not blame and pandering.

>>17089318
in relationships between two or more consenting adults? never. go ahead and google why not.

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everything is rubbish.

>>17089312
i'm real. but that also means that i have flaws, and you can't keep painting this flawless picture of me or you'll just set yourself up for disappointment. and that's not fair to me.

>>17085703
My boyfriend is a skinny fucking twink looking faggot who lives with his parents and is cheap as fuck

I'm sexually attracted to my mom.
I hate my dad.
I've watched him battle with cancer for years, secretly hoping it takes him so I can have mom to myself.
My wife got fat and I no longer find her attractive.
Every time she is on her period I seriously consider divorce.

>>17088631
creeps! report 2 police anonly

hell, strike a deal with FBI or similar to gather info.

dont get mad. get justice. be the change, et c

I'm going to start stalking my ex tonight, the hunt begins.

I really want my psychotic ex girlfriend to apologize and come back again. i know i did the right thing sticking up for myself, but a part of me will always wonder if i should have been more what she wanted me to be, stupider to suit her inferiority complex and more aggressive, to suit her victim complex.

she raged that i was too nice. then when i laughed at that, raged that i was too mean. then when i asked her to make up her mind which she would prefer she acted completely frazzled and kept asking for clarification, caught in her contradiction.

the last call i had with her, i sobbed like a fucking child because she was my best friend and i had already forgiven so much but her split goddamn personality issues or w/e she has, had her railing at me for imaginary bullshit that came out of nowhere. i was super goddamned scared for her.

then she 'took away the privelege' of talking to her, because i kept being too repetitive on her getting a therapist.

and maybe if i could apologize, even, i could keep something like a friendship just to keep sure she doesnt wallow in delusion and hurt herself.

i would take a bullet for her, so why couldn't i handle a few insults? i just want to hear her voice. she pulled some extra creeper crap recently and i am so angry, it's like she's robbing me of any chance whatsoever to feel even remotely capable of forgiving her.

i mean crazy shit happens when ur in love, and i want to chalk it all up as proof how much she actually felr or feels about me, but man. nobody should ever feel entitled to hurt the one they love this consistently and not even recognize that hurt even as it is being communicated clearly and calmly to them.

maybe i spoiled her, letting her get away with this crap over and over, coming back again and again. i just want to travel to her house on my birthday and help her run errands, then get silly drunk and talk like we used to. i want to hear about her life, and that she is better.

>>17089498
me too!
witnessed, shiny and chrome

lemme guess, hes self centred and a boring fuck.

I hate my job. It's even worse not having one cause iv been through that. I went to a old boss of mine who was forced to quit from the place we both worked at to see if he can help get a job with him Again. I make minimum wage only working 6 hours at a retro fitness as a porter

>>17087860
>>17087135
>>17086152
Try to move in for the kiss and she turned. Maybe I should kill myself.

Keto is making me so sick this first week and there's no one to take care of me

>>17089550
You were brave anon. Use this experience and move on to other girls

I'm wasting my youth being isolated and depressed, i can't be around my dad because i feel like he flirts with me and it makes me feel so uncomfortable, i don't know who i am, i feel like im starting to get old (i'm 18 turning 19 next month), i have 0 friends and don't know how to get one

>>17089600
Are you me?

21 now. It gets easier the more job experience and schooling you have. Really try to overcome your anxiety by putting yourself out in public.

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I'm afraid my bf's only staying with me out of fear of me doing something stupid if we broke up. I wouldn't, mind you, and I've never given him reason to think that I would.

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You don't have to lie about travelling with your grandparents. It's so obvious that you're actually in Chicago with your side chick.

I'm in three D&D groups, I'm having fun in none of them, and I'm basically the only thing keeping each group afloat.

>>17089551
Because you dont need someone to take care of you just up your electrolytes you baby

>>17088631
stop working in the type of companies that force their employees to be "family" so they will be able to manipulate them easier.

get a new career.

>>17087280
Fuck off you white knighting faggot

I don't think Jar Jar is that bad of a character...

She left me for this other guy two and a half months ago but we stayed friends. Last night they broke up (or at least were talking about it a lot) because he was paranoid as shit that we were still fucking.

I mean, I fucking prayed that they would break up and it would all work out again with us, but now I just feel awful, she was so hurt last night.

>>17086948
dat looks liek an Amon26 draw

I've had oneitis for the same girl for a few years now. I met her and we instantly clicked and became super close. We had tons of chemistry, and even dated briefly. Relationship didn't last long and was kinda shitty because we were both awkward fucks who didn't know what we were doing at the time, plus I moved halfway across the planet like a couple months after we started dating, so we had to break up. We've stayed in super close contact since the move, it's arguably brought us closer.

I moved about 2 years ago and we've talked pretty much daily through messaging/video chat since then despite the distance and time difference. My feelings for her never went away. I'm straight up head over heels for her. And she's recently told me she's head over heels for me. The issue is that we live so far apart, and have no way of visiting each other for at least a year, and even that will just be a brief visit.

And a few weeks ago, I met this blonde qt with massive tits. We hit it off. I don't want a relationship with this girl but I could end up losing my virginity with her and just having a bit of fun.

But I don't know what to do. It's this weird ass love triangle.

Where do I even begin.. My life is a mess, I don't know how I ended up being the person I am today. I had this ideal in my head of who I wanted to be and ever since I was 17 (I am 23 now), it is all a blur as to how I ended up here. I want to be a better person but something inside me keeps fucking everything up. I have had guys who would give the world for me and I could never appreciate that until it was too late. I took what I had for granted and deserve to be alone as I am now. I treated my friends with less respect than I would expect from them and deserve to be as alone as I am now. I know who I want to be- compared to who I am today they just don't line up. I could sit here and blame my past but what would that do? I can't change it. I can only improve on who I am now. I try but somehow I always end up hurting those I care about. I almost feel as though I don't deserve the love I get and therefore can't accept it. It hurts. I just want to be able to build a positive future for myself but how can I do that when I am the one thing holding me back?

>>17087006
you accused me of being an out of control crazy person, after all these years of patience and rational calm i gave you. you had a meltdown, accused me of awful shit, and escalated and terrorized and tortured me.

so now you get to see what crazy actually looks like, now that you've abandoned our friendship and i have all this free time on my hands. it isn't 'sad' to anybody but thise you complain to, because you don't tell them the whole story. you never told me the whole story, each time you complained about friends and family, and by now we all realize the sad, pathetic one is you. poor miserable baby, always the blameless victim.

>>17087677
get 'em, tiger

>>17088019
so start by asking the other person if there is anything you both need to apologize for.

Why is it I have to think about every specific word I say to you?
You think I have malicious intentions constantly, and always react badly if I use the wrong word. You think the world is out to get you and that all I want to do is attack you, but that's the opposite of what I'm trying to do.
I have a stutter now because I'm so anxious of saying the wrong thing. I've lost myself as a person.
You put so much pressure on me to act like a porn star in bed, but I just want to relax. You get pissed off if I say that it hurts or I'm not enjoying it, and say there is no need to comment.
You make fun of the way I look and call me crazy when I don't use the perfect attitude (even if I am trying to sound happy, sometimes the frustration comes through in my voice. You say I'm shit in bed and I'm useless around the house. You say my dreams are stupid and I'm not valuable.
I'll still never be able to leave you because I am hoping that one day you remember that you did like me when we first got together.
You left tonight after I asked you to cook tea as I was busy, and ignored my calls/texts for 2 hours.
I wish I had a friend to confide in but I have such low confidence I can't talk to anyone.

>>17088406
ARE YOU ME??!

did the military; it is haven for autists. haven't you seen forest gump?? best occupation everrrr. no excuses; you don't technically have to divulge mental health info or learning disabilities; even if its on a med record somewhere you can "forget" to mention that to a recruiter.

they honestly do not even bother to dig that deep, unless you have something dangerous like schizo that could get ppl killed it's p much a green light wink wink nudge nudge saynomore

but if not military, do the third shift janitor gig and dont be proud. you'll get in shape from the exercise. and also, bcos i am paid illistrator w/o expensive stupid art degree; just do art.

sit down and do it every day. have discipline. you can do the thing.

>>17088427
i am older, wiser, and more capable than you will ever be.

i know exactly how you felt; YOU lost sight of that too many times and i finally gave up and believed you on the downswing.

i, still capable of higher function because i'm not some sociopathic denial-narc, love you dearly enough to actually punish you for terrible behavior. you won't learn otherwise, and what else was i supposed to do??! sit back and weather it, get torn up all over again, suffer a flighty apology and more of your panic and denial??

get help, and get immediately back in my life.

>>17088529
maybe if you stop preying on social retards you stop having this problem.

-E

>>17088559
are you me??

>>17088766
two good friends married, both skellys

body types attract samewise, just go for it. slendermans and slenderbabes

i'm skinny to jutting bones, but i also work for a living so there's muscle. i miss being slender, but i like being able to carry all the groceries in at once, kekeke

>>17088879
sounds like lyme disease

My boyfriend is too busy for me these days. It's really upsetting and I feel bad about snapping at him over it. Why the fuck am I crazy for wanting to see him more than once every 2 weeks?

Was talking to shrink about my avoidance (again). I've got avpd, no social skills and no social circle (I don't even talk to my parents anymore). She says I need to go and find some people to talk to, this is true of course, but another thing that is true is that they will judge me, look down on me and reject me because of the way I am, having no social skills is a highly stigmatized trait in this society (i'm "weird", "boring", "aloof", "arrogant" and so on and so forth, even though not one of people who may think this way has really talked to me), in general it seems to be believed that people like me must be left to their own misery. I feel like there is no options for me out there, no one will accept me, no one needs me etc. I'd like to find a way to cure myself of this kind of thinking. My shrink doesn't offer anything beyond "this way or no way", as if she lives in a different world. "Ok, what am I going to talk about?" – "Anything, you know, weather and somesuch" – "But everyone thinks this is boring" – "Come on, that's just what normal people talk about".

>>17089815
you probably just have adult ADD. talk ti a head doctor.

>>17089964
See a different shrink. They're people too, some are more helpful and more compatible with your needs than others.

>>17089964
You're not as smart as you think you are.

You can't possibly know everyone who hates small talk and company, and you're just assuming things for yourself to justify your lifestyle.

This is why you're seeing someone, because they have a different perspective.

>>17089982
I don't really get what you mean.