Me and my dude best friend (am girl) were messing around wrestling today and things led to another because I'm clueless about the fact he was still attracted to me but I have a boyfriend. He did some really forceful things like pin me hard close to him to get the chance to rub my back and even tried coping a feel a few times. He left angry and I apologized for leading him on, I didn't mean to. Thoughts?
>>17077161
>>17077161
>best dude friend
Lol.
That dude is into you.
>>17077198
I thought that stopped after getting into a relationship.. Ugh I feel so weird.
>>17077208
You have no idea how the mind of a man works, friend. You need to back off, apologize, and stop being doing shit like you described. it's weird that you would be into wrestling with another guy that you have no attraction to, let alone while you have a bf, and not expect him to act like that.
>>17077216
That guy is right.
>>17077208
And I'm not saying you were "asking for it" or any shit like that don't get tumblry on me, it's just super flirty that you would get physical, with another guy, even playfully and not expect him to try and take it a step further.
>>17077161
Is your boyfriend aware that you spend your time wrestling with people who are attracted to you?
>>17077216
Errr...
While it was INCREDIBLY naive of her, she doesn't need to apologize for jack shit.
Having a dick doesn't mean it controls your brain and your unaccountable. Yes, urges can get pretty strong, but that shit is no more excusable than when women cry about how they're not responsible for being a bitch while PMSing.
>>17077238
>she doesn't need to apologize for jack shit
Girls generally only wrestle with guys when they want the D. This is a universally accepted rule and can be taken as a sign she's dtf. Her wrestling this dude who fancies her is as such deceptive, whether intentionally or not. An apology isn't unwarranted here, regardless of how pathetic her friend is.
>>17077238
Sounds to me like she led him on, by allowing her guy friend to get playfully physical with her, but the apology is up to her in the end, I wasn't there so I don't know the full details about how it really went down. On the contrary, he probably knew she was seeing someone, so maybe no one should apologize. Idk man, like I said, it's up to her.
>>17077249
>This is a universally accepted rule and can be taken as a sign she's dtf
...
This is the same world where it's also improper to put your hands on a girls shoulder right?
>>17077256
No, it's the same world where retarded faggots throw around strawman arguments on the internet when they're wrong.
>>17077238
>>17077249
>>17077251
I think there is naivety on both their parts and each has something to apologise for. He for trying to cop a feel without permission and her for being too familiar that he got the wrong impression.
OP, beware this dude friend was trying to get you into close physical contact because he wants to have sex with you, or at the least think he can be intimate by touching you in ways he thinks he is entitled to.
He may also be angry about you now having a bf and this display of aggression (no matter how well disguised as play) is his way of feeling/showing he has some 'ownership' of your feelings and body. He's competing with your bf.
>>17077308
>or at the least think he can be intimate by touching you in ways he thinks he is entitled to.
In this guy's defence, they were fucking wrestling. That kind of involves touching and the point of wrestling is domination over the opponent. That doesn't mean he thinks he's entitled to ownership of her body, tumblrfag.
what the fuck did you expect, asking him to wrestle
>>17077355
>In this guy's defence, they were fucking wrestling. That kind of involves touching and the point of wrestling is domination over the opponent. That doesn't mean he thinks he's entitled to ownership of her body, tumblrfag.
I see you have socilaisation and boundary issues. Play wrestling doesn't involve copping a feel. Getting overly intimate is a sign he's upset and trying to even the score.
> tumblrfag
I gather you hang out there regularly, well then Captain Autismo care to enlighten me how to spot these tumblrish traits?
Thanks guys for the advise. We both apologized and admitted our faults on both parts. By wrestling I mean we were tickling and slapping each other in the face and I would ocassionally sit on his defeated corpse. I didn't think this was really flirting since I always did this shit to settle things since I was a wee lass fighting my brother. I also just assumed him knowing I had a boyfriend equaled nothing sexual whatsoever. My friend also said he felt pressured by his other friends to make a move on me. Doesn't mean I'm comfortable around him and to be fair I'd like space. I just dunno how long space will take.
>>17077402
>care to enlighten me how to spot these tumblrish traits?
The first sign is that when two people are doing something that involves touching the tumblrfag will perceive that touching as a way to assert dominance by the male because he feels entitled to the female body.
The second sign is that they talk like a faggot and say dumb faggot shit.
>>17077425
I'd like to be friends with him again someday, talking about memes and games but I don't know if he valued friendship over possible relationship.
>>17077425
>I mean we were tickling and slapping each other in the face and I would ocassionally sit on his defeated corpse. I didn't think this was really flirting
If that's not flirting I don't know what would be.
>>17077428
LMFAO I'm weeaak
>>17077438
It can be taken either way and thats where my fuck up lies. Like a pathetic Iron Sheik VS Hulk Hogan
>>17077442
That's the third sign.
>>17077425
>I also just assumed him knowing I had a boyfriend equaled nothing sexual whatsoever
some girls assume 'having a bf' is like a magic shield wall or somekind of insect repellant to guys. It really means nothing other than some other guy is getting to diddle your goodies and it doesn't stop other guys wanting to.
If you're a reasonable looking girl then the best way to think is "every guy wants to fuck me"
>>17077460
Pretty sure most guys have moral not to betray a fellow man right? Like in Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings is a bad example desu ignore that
I think it's a good sign that you both apologized. It was the mature thing to do in this situation. You both committed slight mistakes of communication. He should have communicated clearly that he was interested in you. You should have communicated clearly that you are interested in a platonic relationship that may involve wrestling. If these things are unsaid then being physically intimate through platonic wrestling with a sexually compatible person is prone to cause misunderstandings.
To move on to the next subject, I think it is a poor show of etiquette that he desired to make a move on you despite knowing you were already in an established relationship. You may have to look deeper into this moral aspect and reconsider whether that person is a suitable friend.
>>17077477
>Pretty sure most guys have moral not to betray a fellow man right?
Why would you think? I don't know the guy and I don't owe him shit. If his relationship is so dysfunctional that his girlfriend is flirting with other people and/or wants to fuck other people how is that in any way, shape, or form my or anyone else's problem?
>>17077493
Good advice and you should be the one that's angry not him.
>>17077516
I'm more upset than angry..
>>17077493
>You should have communicated clearly that you are interested in a platonic relationship that may involve wrestling
>>17077477
>Pretty sure most guys have moral not to betray a fellow man right?
This is a meme men tell themselves to feel better, that only men understand loyalty. Of course at the same time, you'll also hear men are all in competition with each other. So there isn't really a set rule.
Basically, some people are loyal. Some aren't. Some people like to believe they're loyal until they're presented with a situation where they benefit from not being loyal.
>>17077238
What the titty fucking christ is wrong with you stupid mother fuckers?
You don't "play fight" the other sex without it being flirty. At the very least it's going to end in a makeout session. You have to be fucking retarded to not expect that after your grabbing each other's bodies, alone that has been openly attracted to you before.
OP knew what the fuck she was doing. She was doing that shit on purpose because she wanted the D. Then she felt guilty and stopped. Now shes trying to fucking play it off like she was "just playing" and had no idea to not feel guilty.
I can't believe someone would be that fucking stupid to get in a physical contact where you're suppose to pin the other person down with the opposite sex and not expect it to be taken in a flirty way.
>>17077537
Once you communicate clearly the terms of a relationship, no matter how silly and specific they are, then it is not your problem anymore if someone agrees to these terms and then hurt themselves.
>>17077575
I don't disagree with you.
I just find that sentence fucking hilarious.
>>17077554
Anon plz no bully. OP acknowledged it was a dumb move.
>>17077580
I admit it was hard for me to write it without cracking a smile. I like to cover all my bases. Now OP will know to communicate the status of her platonic wrestling if she happens to be wrestling with a lesbian.
>>17077587
Learn how to read
>>17077216
>>17077219
>>17077225
>>17077249
>>17077251
>>17077355
>>17077358
Arguments like these are fucking stupid.
I repeat.
>Fucking
>Stupid
If the two of them are wrestling, regardless of whether or not she's in a relationship, he should be communicating openly with her and ASKING her whether she wants to move further if it hasn't already been stated.
The obvious move for him would be ASSUMING THAT SHE DOESN'T BECAUSE SHE'S IN A RELATIONSHIP.
My god, you guys. Get with the fucking program. Stop shaming and faulting her for this when it isn't her fault.
She didn't grab his ass, dick, or anything. She didn't kiss him. She probably didn't even rub him.
It was play fighting.
Saying that it's her fault for that reason and that reason alone is stupid. That's like saying that it'd be her fault if they were playing football and she tackled him, and he decided to fucking grope her in the midst of it.
Whether or not it's "commonly accepted as flirty" for members of the opposite sex to wrestle, that doesn't mean this particular instance was.
OP, you don't have anything to apologize for. Your friend should be apologizing and should stop being butthurt over not being able to destroy your relationship.
You did nothing wrong in this situation.
>>17077619
>The obvious move for him would be ASSUMING THAT SHE DOESN'T BECAUSE SHE'S IN A RELATIONSHIP.
I have no idea why you think that.
>>17077619
>It was play fighting.
are you this fucking retarded?
You don't fucking wrestle the opposite sex, especially when you two are alone and the guy likes you. It's literally saying "please touch my body. Please be rough with me. Please hold me down. I think were alone now, there doesn't seem to be anyone around."
You god damn fucking dumb as cunt faggot.retard.
>>17077619
>being this much of a cuck
>>17077619
I agree with you in the vast majority of situations but not all of them. It is possible for a behavior to be so dangerously close to flirting that it doesn't matter even if the person is already in a relationship. If someone is potentially attracted to you and you rub your body against theirs then you should not expect with 100% certainty that they will see nothing but platonic friendship. This goes for every gender and every sexual orientation. For example I am a guy and I would be fine with wrestling with an heterosexual friend without saying anything. However if it was an homosexual friend then I would make sure to communicate my intention in order to avoid hurting them. Incidentally I can easily see myself refraining from proposing to wrestle with a lesbian, even if I had no actual sexual interest, out of fear of sending the wrong message. No matter how you look at it, play wrestling is very close to flirting and caution is advised.
>>17077634
>You don't wrestle with the opposite sex,
You're an idiot.
Wrestling with the same sex is no different. The only difference in this situation lies in:
>Relationship status
>Sexuality
>Consent
>Control
She was:
>In a relationship
They were both:
>Straight (I assume)
Consent was:
>Not given, or even implied
And he had:
>Very little control
It was his fault, not her's.
She should be upset with him, and he should apologize.
>Fucking basic.
>>17077619
Holy shit!!! Did you just argue for affirmative consent? I think that a little part of my brain just died.
>>17077887
>It's almost as if consent and people's feelings are fucking important.
>>17077824
>Wrestling with the same sex is no different
You have got to be shitting me. You either are a very dumb bitch or a white knight with no friends. Guys wrestling each other is considerably different than a guy wrestling a girl. For one, a guy will never wrestle with a girl unless they are in a relationship or flirting. And two, a guy play fighting another guy involves a lot more headlocks, punching, throwing, and actually trying to hurt each other a little bit(or a lot). When fighting with their lady they are gentle and it's much more handsy/flirty. For fuck's sake even when guys wrestle they know it's super fucking gay and joke about that while fighting. Ass slaps, dick punches, tea bagging, whatever.
>She was in a relationship
Because people never cheat right? Apparently being in a relationship makes it LITERALLY impossible to have feelings for someone else or to do flirty things like.. I don't know... play wrestling?
>Straight
uh-der
>Consent was not even implied
This is where you go full retard. Consent was extremely implied. "Please press your body against mine. Please grab me and put your hands on me. Please hold me down on the ground. We are alone." It's basically sex without the naughty bits slappin against each other.
You realize wrestling means you're pawing and grabbing one another in areas that you wouldn't normally let someone touch you right? To pick someone up you normally have to grab some ass or thighs or between the legs. To grab a hold of someone from behind you are going to wrap your arms around them which means you're going to get a big ol handful of breasts. To pin someone means you are going to be laying on top of them or straddling them. Clothing is going to be shifted and partly removed either on purpose or accident. It's flirting. It's a way to for the person you're with to touch you in ways that normally they don't.
You are seriously the dumbest motherfucker in the world.
>>17077887
>>17077940
>it's almost as if wrestling involves two physical bodies to be pressed against each other and heavily implies sexual intent.
How old are you?
