I am super close friends with a group of 3 boys at my college. These boys love hanging out with me and think that I am physically attractive- but they don't "come on" to me.
In a way this has been great because I've been able to get to know them all very closely, but I think they're worried that if any of them make a move, they'll ruin the awesome dynamic we have going on.
Atleast- that's what I THINK is going on. None of these boys have had any sexual experience, so they're in that kinda awkward middle-school-y state where any intimacy is kinda scary to them.
What are some things I can do to test the waters without being too obvious? I have a crush on one of the boys and I want to end up in a relationship with him eventually. We've done certain borderline things like sharing a blanket while we watch a movie together, me bringing him food I know he likes when I go out, him offering to give me his jacket when I'm cold- but those are things I've also done platonically with my other guy friends.
What is the next step to making it subtlety less platonic?
You're going to ruin the friendship between them on some level possibly. Being a guy who has never had experience with woman, he's going to be new to love, always hang out with you, have to learn a ton of lessons and.. Man.. Ah whatever lol, I've seen it happen too many times
>>17050240
Simple as it seems, the next logical step would be building physical intimacy. As a female you have leeway to do certain things guys can't generally do, like put your hand on his thigh when sitting and avidly talking, or grabbing his hand or the like. That's what I say would be the next logical step. All it takes is you holding their hand and looking them in the eye and in 5 seconds he'll be thinking about you for the next five hours.
And in the event he's too anxious to ever show signs of desire, which you're worried about, you'll have to be obnoxiously blatant and blunt, social skills are just that, skills, and their lack of experience especially in flirting will have to be accommodated for, by your extra effort.
>>17050240
Options are as follows
A: pursue romantic relationship with
B: maintain friend status
Note: if you want romance and hold back, the friend option will wither and die anyway as you force eachother apart
A is likely best option, realize one way or another, shy of marriage: you're doomed to eventually stop talking to him
Just to make sure you have considered this, if you are not exaggerating, and all of the guys in your circle of friends seem to have a thing for you, then going all the way with one of them is likely to cause some very serious friction within the group. Be prepared for a shit show.
>>17050251
He'll have to learn a lot but I've dated two boys who I was their "first" in every way and both of those lasted for like 3 years- so I've learned a lot about how to handle those types of boyfriends.
>>17050257
Ok! Yeah- I've started to breach that physical gap by like play fighting with them and we also play this game where you hold hands and try to make the other person fall- and you're basically holding hands and looking them straight in the eye so it's pretty intimate desu even though we dismiss it as playful.
I'm kind of shy though, so even though I like them it's hard for me to maintain eye contact in that game because I get butterflies in my tummy.
>>17050260
yeah- I have a good relationship with my ex's though so I wouldn't be afraid of a bad breakup. I only date with intent to marry though so I would be comfortable marrying this boy if he continues to impress me lke he has thus far.
>>17050353
I have thought about this- but again I am not sure if they overtly have "a thing" for me. Like they think I'm pretty and they always want to hang out with me, but right now we're just friends. I don't think any of them have developed a solid crush on me- and similarly I havnt developed a solid crush on any of them. I have a small crush on one, but I'd honestly be happy to date any of them. But I'm afraid of messing up the group dynamic if my feelings arnt returned- and I'm assuming they have the same hesitancy. But I've held myself back from developing a crush, and I think they have too.
It's like when you meet a really cool pretty girl but she has a boyfriend- you stop yourself from developing a crush. It's the same thing here. The situation would make the crush a bad choice, so we hold back
>>17050240
lol
You remind me of a group that comes in to my work all the time
It's a cute girl and 3 guys, but they obviously only hang out with her because they're beta orbiters
You're not from Colorado right op, from what I know the girl could totally be someone that goes on this site
>>17050514
Nah I'm from NC
And these boys arn't beta orbiters- they're really cool and I seriously enjoy hanging out with them. There's also another girl in our "group", so I'm not like the only female.
>>17050543
>hanging out with attractive girls
>not making moves
>implying they aren't beta orbiters
Sorry famalam but it's true. Unless they don't find you attractive they're beta for not making a move. Fuck that gay friendship triangle or whatever, a man stands up and does what he wants.
Wouldn't you prefer a guy who takes what he wants and tells you he likes you than some kiddo who is afraid of other people's feeling aww :(
>>17050563
Maybe they're beta in a romantic sense, but what I mean is that they're normal guys who are cool and well adjusted and attractive.
To me, a beta orbiter is someone who the girl clearly wouldn't go out with/ has rejected but still hangs around her.
I would date any of these boys, they're just afraid to ask me out OR they don't like me the way I think they do.
And if they had acted the way you describe, we never would have gotten to be such good friends. It's normal for guys to act hesitant about risking ruining something nice- they don't know that I'd say yes if one of them asked me out, which is why I'm looking for things I can do to show them the right signals
>>17050584
Why don't you just say you like one of them
Jokes on you though because youll tear all three apart
You don't win in this situation, ever. No matter what you do, even dating someone outside the group, you'll rip them apart.
This is the path you chose.
>>17050595
Again- at this point we're just friends.
It would be the same way if they got girlfriends- I'd be kinda sad inside but mostly happy for them. Like I'd be able to get over it easily and move on with my life while keeping them as friends.
I assume they'd do the same/feel the same way when I get a boyfriend- to say that I'll "rip them apart" is a bit of an over exaggeration.
>>17050621
why would you feel sad if they got girlfriends? do you get sad when a female friend gets a bf? you will rip them apart because they are secretly crushing on you, it's what orbiters do.
>>17050628
This guy gets it
>>17050621
If they don't have dating experience, they probably would all like to date you.
The friendship with the other 2 could continue, but would likely be difficult.
You could flirt with him in any number of ways; do you know how to flirt?
Drop more than hints, as he's probably a retard and won't pick up his cues. Very few guys w/little dating experience pick up clues from women, although you think you're being super obvious.
Ask to go out with just him, see where he's at. Is he looking at your body, can you detect any interest from him? You should be able to detect that. Then go to a movie or something; some place relatively quiet and dark. Have him lean in, close your eyes, yada yada.
>>17050628
I'm orbiting them just as much as they're orbiting me- we're co orbiting.
I'd be sad because i think they're all great guys and I'd probably be kind of jealous of the girl. Again, not enough to do anything about it, but enough to wonder "I wonder what she has that I don't have".
And I guess I could be sad if one of my female friends got a boyfriend because she would then probably spend less time with me.
Again- by saying that I would be "sad"- I don't mean overall. Overall I would be very happy and excited for them- but a very small part of me would be sad because it would remind me that I don't have someone right now.
It's like when a good friend goes on a cool vacation. Like you're psyched for them but you're also sad a little because you won't get to see them as much and because maybe you're a little jealous.
But again- not enough jealousy/sadness to influence your actions. It's just something in the back of your mind that eventually passes.
If anything I feel like I'm secretly crushing on them more than they're secretly crushing on me.
>>17050642
Ok- another thing is that it's hard for me to cross that line.
It's a mix. Like part of me really wants to make things physical but another part of me is kind of wierded out by being physical with a friend.
Like I want to do it but I'm too nervous to be the one to like, instigate it.
Also- the boy I like rejected this one girl who came on to him too strong. She's kinda pretty but she struck him as slutty when she told him she wanted to sleep with him and he turned her down.
So like- they're not "typical college guys" in that way that they will have sex whenever/with whoever. One of the other guys was dating this one girl for like 2 years and they never did anything more than kiss.
>>17050657
>So like- they're not "typical college guys" in that way that they will have sex whenever/with whoever.
That is the typical college guy, depending on the major. Very typical for STEM / autists.
Why don't you flirt with the guy you like and see how he responds? Maybe he's gay or not into you.
You don't need to instigate anything, just show that you would reciprocate attraction and make the % chance of rejection less for him. You might fuck up the friendship with the other 2, but oh well.
>>17050644
>If anything I feel like I'm secretly crushing on them more than they're secretly crushing on me.
Doubtful. You might not want to hear this but they likely all fap picturing you, or at least they used to (depends on how long they've known you).
And you're attracted to all of them?
>>17050679
Well we're all in the honor's college and studying sciences so I guess it's not a shock- but I was surprised that he rejected her. I guess he just holds himself to a moral code with his sexuality which is kinda uncommon for guys.
I think one of the friends is gay, but the other two seem straight to me.
How can I flirt without being obvious? I feel like things like flirting would make them uncomfortable.
Do you think alcohol would make things better or worse? Like want if we all drink and I act a little flirty (nothing hoe-ish) and then I can see if they reciprocate or blame it on the alcohol if they don't?
>>17050683
They've only known me a couple of months.
I'm attracted to all of them (they're all smart, kind, handsome) but the one I have a little crush on is specifically my type.
>>17050692
yes do it. arrange an orgy and claim their virginities
>>17050396
Why do you like dating inexperienced boys then dumping them when they gain your trust? Are you a fucked up person?
>>17050706
Why do you assume that I do the dumping?
I've dated two boys, each for 3 years.
The first cheated on me, so I did dump him.The other one dumped me because his dad died and he was too depressed.
I'm still friends with both of them.
>>17050692
>How can I flirt without being obvious? I feel like things like flirting would make them uncomfortable.
You likely have a touch of the autism/Asperger's if you don't know how to flirt in college. Nothing wrong with it, just letting you know in case you didn't.
Flirting is different for men and women, but in general; it's displaying attraction indirectly. Fuck that sounds complicated. :)
So, flirting for women might be using flattery, physical things like showing off your body (like even wearing a tight sweater, showing legs, etc.), or in terms of how you talk to him.
In your mind, try to do / say things so that he will kiss you. You can make it super obvious, or more playful.
And you couldn't flirt in front of all of them, only the guy you were attracted to. Otherwise it will enrage the other one (or the other 2 if he's straight).
Yes, booze will make it easier for both of you. Like I said, try to just have it be the two of you; maybe the other guys have to go home and you end up with the guy.
>>17050727
Well I am naive in a way- I assume that friendliness from men is always just friendliness. Unless the guy directly compliments me, tries to make overt physical contact with me, or insenuates stuff, I just assume he's being a buddy.
Flirting to me is something that directly communicates romantic or sexual interest.
I'm trying to walk that line. I want to do things that are like, secretly flirty.
Let's say that on a scale of 1-5 (1 being friendship and 5 being flirting) I usually hit at around a 2-3. I wear cute outfits around them, I clear their plates for them when we're eating at the dining hall, I plan outings, I make sure I always smell and look nice, I am playful with them, and I invite them to make physical contact (will you braid my hair? Wow, your hand is big- it's so much bigger than mine, see? My shoulder hurts, will you rub it?).
But I want to be at like a 4. Again, not stuff that is directly like "I LIKE YOU"- I want them to think that's what I'm saying but also I want to be able to be like "no I just meant that as friends!" If they don't return my feelings
Ah the freedome of college.
And than some bitch comes up and cucks your two best friends.
Long story short fuck you bitch.
Girls like you ruin friendships for your own selfish entertainment
>>17050783
Shut the fuck up dude, you're projecting way too hard
Stop making assumptions about me that arnt true
>>17050801
I'm not him, but it does sound like you want to throw yourself right in the middle of all these guys so you can be the center of attention. It's all about you, you have no consideration for anything else other than what you want.
How old are you. Are you their age?
>>17050863
that's not true. My post was based on my perspective and my goal so of course it seems one sided.
I'd much rather not pursue a relationship with one of these boys and stay friends than hurt one or all of them. But in this situation, since we're all just friends, it could work to where I eventually date one of them and we all stay friends.
If two or more of them had a crush on me then yes things would be messy and I would probably just not want to muddy things up by being anything more than friends. But at this point, I don't even know if the one I like has a crush on me. The other one is probably gay and the last one is leaving at the end of the summer.
And I don't want to "throw myself in the middle"- I am a part of the group. We're all friends. That is all. I give a ton of attention to these boys and they give me attention in return- that's what friendship is.
I think you may unintentionally using your own experience/perception to project on this situation.
>>17050878
Yes, we're all 20
>>17050890
Stop getting so defensive and stop talking about "projection" when you are criticized.
All I'm saying is that this entire thread paints a picture to me of you trying to use your female status and prop yourself right in the middle so you can get their attention. That's the impression I've got, reading this thread over 3 times now (didn't take that long).
Maybe you should reevaluate yourself here. If a few people now have said that it seems that you want to be the center of attention, don't you think you should consider that possibility?
>>17050240
>What is the next step to making it subtlety less platonic?
Fuck all these passive things. You're just going to screw with all the guys heads. Just ask him out.
If you've been flirting with the other guys, stop that shit. As others have pointed out, all these guys are 'beta orbiters.' It's up to you to make a decision and act on it or to continue being an attention whore.
Post Body OP
>>17050897
Look- I appreciate you trying to expose a new perspective to me, but I don't think you understand my position.
I don't need or want any more attention. I get TOO MUCH attention. I have tons of beta orbiters, random guys messaging me, random people trying to make friends with me in class- it's great at first but I just want to spend time around people that are genuine and kind. I found some of those people- three boys and a girl, and we are very close friends now. The group dynamic does not revolve around me in any sense- and neither do the boys. We're all just doing our thing and we like spending time together studying and goofing off. After getting to know these friends really well, I have started to develop a crush on one.
You guys seem to think that an people cannot be friends with people of the opposite sex who they find attractive, but this simply is not true. To this day I am friends with lots of attractive dudes and I have lots of great guy friends as an attractive female. People have enough control over themselves not to fall head over heels in love with anyone who meets their standards.
The reason why I suggest that you may be projecting is because it makes sense. In a situation like this where your knowlege of me is limited, you fill in the blanks with information that you've observed from people who have been in situations that are similar to me. Typically when a female surrounds herself with men, she's using them for attention and Dick.
I'm telling you- that is not me and that is not my situation. Again, I appreciate your perspective, but you should allow your preconceptions to modify your impression of the situation so much.
Okay, I'm a 22 year old guy here. Sounds like these guys are too nervous to start anything. You kinda have two options here. haha you could take a guy approach and set up a movie or go out for dinner and make the first move, You'd be surprised how receptive some guys would be of this. or you could straight up tell the guy. I would not worry about the dynamic so much. people will understand. your situation is not uncommon.
>>17050904
What if he says no to me or if he doesn't like me?
And I havnt been flirting with the other guys anything past just being friends.
>>17050916
>What if he says no to me or if he doesn't like me?
Then you'll know he isn't into you, and you can forget about him and move on.
You keep describing these guys as "genuine and kind" so I'm just going to assume your right about them. If so, he's probably not going to be a dick about it. At worst, you'll be awkward around each other for a few weeks, unless you decide to go full drama and separate yourself from the group because you got rejected.
It's hard to face the possibility of rejection, but the guy isn't going to pick up on your 'subtle hints,' and if he likes you he's probably afraid of rejection too. Go for it or don't. Your choice.
>>17050911
Once again, no need to be so defensive. Relax there.
You are also resorting to these broad assumptions that I am using "anti female stereotypes" against you. I've made it very clear, that I came to the conclusion I did because of what I've read in this thread, 3 times over, Perhaps you should learn to come across differently if you don't want me and others to come to conclusions you don't like about you.
I predict this will end fantastically...
>>17050946
When did I say that you were using anti female stereotypes? I just said that you were using past observations to fill in the gaps. It surprises me that you mention a concept like "female status" and then assume that I'm accusing you of using anti female stereotypes, all the while accusing me of being defensive.
I don't know whether or not you realize what a "bias" is, but no matter how many times you read over what I've written, your own personal opinions and observations will always influence the way you see it.
At any rate, this discussion is not helpful.
I will listen to what you've said and make sure that I am not being selfish with my choices and actions.
So, for the sake of helpfulness, let's assume that I am NOT using them for attention, they DONT revolve around me, and a relationship with one of them would NOT ruin the friendship dynamic. What advice would you offer to someone in my position?
>>17050940
Thank you, this is actually good advice
>>17050911
You're projecting yourself; that men and women can be friends easily, but that is not really the case.
Men can be friends with women, but often they conflate attraction and friendship. Women do this, just less often.
You're talking about flirtation on a numeric scale, CLEARLY you are on the autism spectrum. Again, not saying that's good or bad, just see how in manifests in women. For your own sake.
Flirting to some degree is putting yourself out there. You seem to be already flirting somewhat.
You need to be able to gauge his feelings and determine if he likes you or not.
It very well might upset your friend dynamic, or it might not. I don't know you or the people involved.
Apart from the other posters here, I haven't seen you do anything wrong. You want attention from your friends? Call the fucking press.
You don't want to be the initiator, but you can drop some hints so that he realizes that he should be the initiator.
>>17050967
You probably aren't going to like being the initiator. It's easy enough to show attraction, women have been doing for a million fucking years.
>>17050972
Lol is that really that autistic? People put all sorts of stuff on a numerical scale when trying to assess the severity of an non-defined idea like "flirting" "hooking up" and "attractiveness". But that's fine, the numerical scale helps me catagorize stuff.
I disagree with you that men and women cannot be friends if one finds the other attractive. Anyone with an ounce of self control and some options is fine in such a situation.
I don't mind initiating as long as I have reason to believe he will return my feelings- but again I havnt known them very long and I'm not sure what to look for. What kind of signs should I look for?
>>17050980
I don't think anyone really likes initiating- rejection is scary regardless of gender.
I've initiated in the past though, so I can do it again. I just want to make sure I won't regret my decision
>>17050985
>I disagree with you that men and women cannot be friends if one finds the other attractive. Anyone with an ounce of self control and some options is fine in such a situation.
I said it's possible, it's just more difficult for men. Men that aren't dating are going to find you even more attractive.
>I don't mind initiating as long as I have reason to believe he will return my feelings- but again I havnt known them very long and I'm not sure what to look for. What kind of signs should I look for?
You should already know this, but again...autism. Like I said, it manifests differently in men and women. I'm not telling you this to upset you or as a pejorative.
It's not very difficult to find out; if you're thinking about him, then if he's attracted to you...he's thinking about you. Ask him who he finds attractive, who he would want to date. If he rattles off a bunch of names without emotion, he probably isn't into you. If he stammers, or says "like you", then he probably has some attraction to you.
Things like "I like spending time with you", "You're such a great person", etc. are generic and can convey an attraction without putting yourself too far out there.
If you say "I like spending time with you", and he looks at you and says "I love spending time with you", well that's pretty obvious. If he says "meh", that's pretty obvious he has no attraction. His response will likely be between those 2.
If he wants to talk to you, spend time with you, be with you, then he's attracted to you. If he doesn't, he's just not that into you.
This goes for 20 year-olds or 80 year-olds, doesn't matter.
I mean, he should be on 4chan or the equivalent asking how he can talk to you, right?
>>17050964
Wow great argument femanon you sure convinced me of those hot opinions.
>I just said that you were using past observations to fill in the gaps.
I told you that I read THE FUCKING THREAD 3 TIMES NOW.
>It surprises me that you mention a concept like "female status" and then assume that I'm accusing you of using anti female stereotypes, all the while accusing me of being defensive.
"Female status" was just a term, maybe poorly used, but then you were the one that accused me of stereotypically thinking that a woman who wants to be friends with guys only wants dick. You said that, not me.
>but no matter how many times you read over what I've written, your own personal opinions and observations will always influence the way you see it.
But other people here shared the same sentiment. You just come across that way. You seem very very defensive here, not sure why. Maybe it's because you know /adv/ has a userbase that constantly caters to women and that /adv/ blames men for everything? Probably.
>So, for the sake of helpfulness, let's assume...
>What advice would you offer to someone in my position?
I don't like you that much, but my best advice to you would be to make a move yourself, and stop expecting (one of) them to do everything and put you on a pedestal. If you want something to happen, it's obvious you have to make it happen.
>>17050985
Wow I was right you are a group ruining bitch.
All it took to bring your bitchiness to light was calling you out on it.
>Oh boo hoo hoo what should I do I need special super secret attention.
>No your wrong and you dont know shit about this topic even though i asked for your opinion
>And your opinion is wrong you beta
>I am better than you and you are pojecting
I suggest you leave now. Burn your frenship donw to the group and get with one of those many many iferionr lifeforms that orbit you so much.
>>17050972
>You don't want to be the initiator, but you can drop some hints so that he realizes that he should be the initiator.
I disagree. Guys shouldn't have to always approach women, and guys shouldn't have to initiate with women they just aren't interested in.
OP obviously has a princess complex and feels entitled to have boys date her. She needs to get the fuck out now, her entitled attitude is causing tension and exposing her as someone who feels they should be given everything just because she has a vagina.
OP, I was just a regular guy, had a group of friends for years both male and female.
We had lots of good times and bad.
In short I could say relationships change all that, but that wouldn't be fair. Dating or marriage, often does ruin friendships, but not always.
One day, almost overnight I became the hot guy. Suddenly girls that I had known a long time were constantly checking me out.
I could tell that some of my male friends were jealous, so I made a point to ask them which girl(s) they were interested in, so as to avoid any hurt feelings if I started dating one of the girls. The results were quite surprising.
A few of them were interested in any girl, didn't really matter to them, so i'll exclude them.
The point I want to focus on relates to where there might be conflict, If one of my friends had a crush, and i started dating her, and then he'd be all butthurt. The ones who had crushes, surprisingly were all interested in different girls, except for two.
One of those friends, liked a girl that I didn't really know all that well because she was new, but she had recently been talking to me a lot.
So when I asked, he asked me to mention him to her, and find out if she was interested in him.
It led to an awkward moment, the next time I talked to her. Like he asked, I brought him up in conversation, and put in a good word for him.
She replied, the only guy i'm interested in around here is YOU. I was not expecting that, and didn't know how to respond.
This was exactly what I was trying to avoid, not dating a girl that my friends liked, and here she makes this bold declaration.
So now I have to break the bad news to my friend, that she thought he was gay. He took it surprisingly well. Here comes the tough part.
Her declaration had more of an impact on me than i realized. Suddenly knowing how she felt, made me think about her a lot, but because my friend had dibbs, I had to ask him if it would be ok for me to date her.
>>17051002
He's said that he likes spending time with me before, and apparently he says nice things about me a lot when he's alone with the other two- you're right those are good signs.
So, should I tell one of my other friends that I like this guy? Like maybe they can be my wing man? Or would that make things worse?
>>17051003
How are we STILL having this miscommunication? You could read the thread 10000000 times, and your take on it would still be fundamentally influenced by your own prejudices and biases.
I said that because that's what your message implied that you believed. "If you didn't want me to interpret it that way, maybe you should have expressed yourself in a better way"
Thanks for your advice but if you think that one other dumbass who is equally as deluded as you(see below) who shares your opinion means that you're right, then you need a reality check.
>>17051007
Dude what are you even talking about?
Your post makes no sense.
If you're going to insult me already be coherent please.
>>17051026
what happened that made you hate women so much?
>>17051026
>I have a crush on a friend
>apparently this makes me an entitled princess
Nice logic
>>17051031
>So, should I tell one of my other friends that I like this guy? Like maybe they can be my wing man? Or would that make things worse?
A very common tactic for women, and some men. A female (or male) friend can pepper him for info, and get the lowdown.
I understand you fear rejection, but at some point you need accept that you can't not do things because of fear of failure.
It would be optimal if you could just come out and say it, and if he didn't feel the same, you guys could have a laugh about it.
There doesn't need to be this much drama, you're 20 now. Right? ;)
>>17051030
Thank you for sharing your experience! What can I do to respect my friends in the way that you did?
I posted earlier that I'd prefer to just remain friends with them if dating one would cause some type of conflict.
Like If two or more of them have a crush on me right now then I'd rather just not ever date any of them.
But how can I find this out?
>>17051031
Oh shut the fuck up, bitch. People have been given you advice this entire thread and YOU have been projecting. You clearly have extreme autism in that you can't read body language and you can't pick up on social cues. Holy shit you are retarded.
You keep whining endlessly about my prejudices and biases yet you never look in the mirror. You are clearly an entitled whiny cunt that feels as though men should worship her just for existing. You whine on a chinese imageboard about how boys won't date you and then you brag about all the orbiters and friends you have, then you expect people to show you respect. Go to a damn therapist.
>>17051034
>WAAAAAAHHH WAAAAAH BOYS WON'T DATE ME WAAAAAAHHH. I AM OPPRESSED AS A WOMAN BECAUSE A BOY WON'T INITIATE WITH ME WAAAAAAHHHH
That's you in this thread. Go fuck yourself, slut. You are not entitled to male affection just because you exist, why don't you go back to /r/feminism and choke on your dildo?
>>17051041
>I am bitter that boys won't ask me out
>So I'll argue with men for an entire thread about how the world should bend to my desires
Nice logic.
>>17051052
Hahahah
Sorry no woman's ever crushed on you like I'm crushing on this boy.
Good luck with your sad ass life lol
>>17051054
I'm not bitter, I'm looking for advice for a situation that I'm in.
That's literally what this whole board is for dumbass.
>>17051030 (cont)
Again directly related to what she had said (she thought he was gay) had quit an impact on him, and he was no longer interested in her at all. So he said it was cool for me to date her. (and I did)
To sum this up. Telling people how you feel has quit an impact.
More importantly, though. I learned that there is a pecking order among males. Where I had worried about my friends being hurt by me dating a girl they liked, it turns out I was worried for nothing. Being the alpha male, I could have literally banged their girlfriends and it wouldn't have mattered, because they are all betas. (and i did)
So don't worry about hurting their friendship, just grab the one you like. It automatically promotes him up the food-chain among his pack. I'm not saying it makes him an alpha, but it makes him higher that the other betas that have no gf.
>>17051061
It's fine. Maturing also means knowing when you're wrong, and when you're not.
It doesn't sound like you want to hurt anyone, I don't know what the fuck these other posters are talking about.
Sounds to me like you're into a guy, he's into you, and you don't know next steps...with the added wrinkle that he's part of your friend group.
Do I have that right?
Grab your crush's dick and say in no uncertain terms "I'm feelin' right slimy down there!", raise and lower your eyebrows twice, and then wink.
>>17051051
>Like If two or more of them have a crush on me right now then I'd rather just not ever date any of them.
Pretty harsh to deny yourself a relationship, because 3 guys might be interested.
I should say "don't flatter yourself" but in all honesty they very well might.
Since you went to the one extreme (don't date any) Let's look at the other extreme for a moment. Gang-bang'd by all 3 of them.
All - or - Nothing are both extremism.
If you like one, it's perfectly rational to say so.
>>17051057
I finally get it. You're a spoiled cunt that is using this thread to project against other men. You're bitter that boys won't date you so you prop up men on the Internet as these objects which you can abuse. You must feel so hurt that people here are talking back to you, cunt.
>>17051061
Yes you are bitter. You are whining because you feel as though a boy must date you because you exist. Sorry honey, but being arrogant on 4chan won't make him approach you :) You put no effort into anything, you think guys should submit to you just because you exist and you clearly need therapy.
There's a difference between going on a date, and dating. You can go on dates with a guy, and get to know him better, without committing to eternity.
after ten dates he might turn out to be a douche, and you'll be glad you aren't married to him.
the whole pick one, and only one (based solely upon looks apparently) is retarded.
you can't choose a life-long partner without getting to know the person.
Be clear about your intentions. This is a date, not a committed relationship.
Choosing a mate isn't like buying a car, where you can shop online, and pick one from a catalog, or have a car custom made for you.
These are used cars, with a history, even if they have never been driven.
Every car has it's ownership history.
Parent's just kept them in the garage, but they probably snuck out and drove themselves. They may or may not have had passengers, or they could be more like a taxi, and had lots of passengers.
these are things to talk about on dates, not after you've been together for 3 years.
Rule of thumb, don't test drive on a first date. Just walk around and kick the tires. If you don't like it, move on. you don't have to buy that one. there are plenty of other cars out there.
If you do like it, then keep looking, and maybe test drive it before you buy. It's a big investment, and shouldn't be taken lightly.
