and what do you need help with?

>>17022318
I guess I just want to sort out my feelings before I tell anyone? Maybe get some insight as to how I should handle this situation.

>>17022331
tell the supposed father to be?

>>17022331
do this
>>17022336

and how do you feel about the pregnancy? was it an incident? are you in a relationship? how old are the two of you? have you planned on having kids sometimes in the future? what about education/jobs?

>>17022336
How exactly should I do that?
we've been dating for two years (just to put his role into perspective) So I'm not married but this wasn't some one night stand either.

Are you considering abortion?

I'm 18 my boyfriend is 19. Like I said, we've been going out for over two years. I was always positive I wanted kids, but I'm so young now. I don't have any savings, I'm in college and just signed the lease to an apartment with my boyfriend. When I saw that little pink line I felt a little excited? But mostly terrified and confused.

>>17022342
then it should be easy. when did you find out? when are you going to see him next? you tell him that you where late and had some signs so you decided to make a test and it turned out positive. and what exactly IS "this big"? how far are you along?
you should be able to go trough this together. especially after two years. i'm in a similar situation. i'm now heading to the store to get a test. but i already told my bf that i'm late and going to get a test. i promised to text him as soon as i know more.

>>17022356
>a little excited?
aww, that's so cute.
but, yes, 18 and 19 is pretty young. but hey! you just decided to move in together, that's usually a sign that you are pretty serious and your relationship is doing good.
do you know HIS stance on having kids?
i have had an abortion at 18, and got a baby at 21. i know both situations. if you have ANY questions, feel free to ask.

>>17022348
I hate the thought. Maybe? I don't have any money I feel like that might be unfair to the baby. When i think about actually going through with it I don't know if I could.

>>17022358
I'm with him right now, he's sleeping. I should be six weeks along. I'm lucky though, when I was young I was heard this great piece of advice: "Only have sex with a person if you wouldn't mind having child that is exactly like them" and I do have that now. Let me know what happens with you.

>>17022362
>be unfair to the baby.
honest talk, OP: babies don't need TONS of money. you can get all the baby-stuff almost for free second-hand. or family and friends might chime in with hand-me-downs. what will cost you a bit are diapers. but it's not THAT much. just get the cheapest brand, they usually work just as good. sure, there will be costs along the way. but untill it's in kindergarden it won't need a separate room. if you want to be able to go on vacations with your family, have a house, a car, a dog, nice new stuff, then yes, babies are expensive. but it's not NECESSARIY for a baby to be happy. all these things are just to satisfy the parents need to "fit in". mostly atleast.
if you have a baby now, you still have a few years of it not needing much to sort out job and finances.

>>17022361
He does love kids. But I know he will be as unsure as I am. Well what were both experiences like? What happened?

>>17022370
you could snuggle up next to him in bed, and when he wakes up, say: i need to tell you something. i was overdue and just did a test. it turned out positive.

>"Only have sex with a person if you wouldn't mind having child that is exactly like them"
such a cute advice! going to pass that one down to my own kids.

i'll do that. it's not that big of a deal though, we have plans to have kids soon anyways. problem is that i actually have an iud atm. which could mean that the pregnancy wouldn't last anyways. that would be pretty sad.

>>17022372
You are so right. Do you know this from experience?

>>17022356
Listen:
Don't get pressured into an abortion for the wrong reasons.
Do you want kids? If so then just go for it! Here are lots of programs in place that raise money and resources for people in your position.

But there's no sense in ending a baby's (or at this stage, fetus') life just because this isn't the conventional time to start a family.

You may think "it's unfair to the baby to raise it when I don't have any money"- but I personally think it's likely that the baby would rather be alive and poor than nonexistent.

As long as you think you can be a good, loving mother, then that baby already has what it needs from you. Everything else (like money and food) you can get from government assistant programs. If you want to give that baby more oppertunities, then get a job or ask your boyfriend to get a job so that you can start saving up.

My mom was older than you when she had me, but they had no savings and she worked at a retail store. People have been born into "Poor" families for ages- and if anything it is good motivation to work hard. I'm glad I was born into a poor family- I appreciate the importance of people, and I am grateful for all the material items I've earned

>>17022374
I'm so sorry to hear about your condition. Alao, I actually I have a lung/muscle disease and a long time ago my pulmonary doctor told me having kids would be a difficult thing. Have you been with your boyfriend/spouse for very long?

>>17022373
i got pregnant when i was with somebody fairly new. we whre both pretty immature (i never got that one very good advice you got...). so we weren't able to have a honest and proper talk aboutthe situation. you know, the pros and cons. how both decisions would affect us, what both of us want and such. all he ever said was "i support you, no matter what your deicison will be". i interpreted that as "i don't care." and with the assumption that guys don't want to get a girl pregnant unplanned, i went and got an abortion. it was a huge desaster. i felt like amonster. i obsessed over babies and pregnanca till i had a baby atlast. we also broke up over this after 3 years. it wasn't nice. but be aware, that it doesn't have to be like that for you. the physical aspects aren't nice. but they are neglectable if you can stand behind this decision 100% and have your bf's support. but if you do anything short from that, it will have a negative impact on your mental health.

>>17022362
> I don't have any money
Carrying the pregnancy to term will likely cost at least the same amount in medical expenses as an abortion would, even with insurance. And then you need money to raise the kid and meet its own medical needs should it not be 100% healthy.

>>17022375
yes. i'm that anon who had a kid at 21. i had NOTHING. but he's 5 now and he always had EVERYTHING he needed and more. life is wonderfull like that sometimes.

>>17022384
oooh... i hope you growed that out. that would be a very sad thing to experience. i'm very sorry.
not very. we are dating since 6 months. but we're a bit older and marriage/having kids is already a frequent topic. we're also moving in together in a few weeks and have plans to get married this year, so we would both be happy about a pregnancy

>>17022383
I really do like this response. It is kind of character building isn't it? Most people I know who are very well off are kind of dull. I do want this baby (Technically fetus) but I am very afraid of what our families will think. I'm very close with his mother and I'm sure she will be very upset. My boyfriend's brother had a baby when he was 16, and it really hurt their family.

>>17022383
FUCK OFF WITH YOUR PRO LIFE BULLSHIT ANON.

OP, if you and your boyfriend agree on abortion, do it. Don't feel guilty. As of now the fetus is a clump of cells rather than a being

>>17022383
>There are lots of programs in place that raise money and resources for people in your position.

Yeah, and I wish there weren't. That's tax money and I dunno about you guys, but I really wish it wasn't going towards encouraging unwed mothers in poor conditions to have children whose needs they can't meet.

I've met a couple of girls now who thought having a child would be a breeze and that someone would just come up and take care of them if they couldn't hack it: one abandoned her kid when it hit two and the other had the government seize both of her children because she was found to be neglectful.

>>17022397
bruh, the abortion could damage her uterus and permanently scar to the point of being infertile

>>17022385
What was it like to have an abortion?

I was 18 when I had my little girl... I remember being so scared when I found out I was pregnant. my boyfriend of the time wanted me to get an abortion and I was so scared that my parents would judge me and hate me....

The hardest part was telling my parents and my boyfriend that I was pregnant and that I wanted to keep it. At first I looked for excuses like not having enough money or not being able to pursue my own dreams, but I realized that I can do those things and have a baby at the same time.

Now my baby girl is 3 years old and she is the biggest blessing I've ever had. I can't even imagine what my life would have been like without her. I am so grateful that I got pregnant when I did, I am happier now more than I ever have been. She gives me motivation, I'm graduating this year with a associate's in dental hygiene and I'll be out making money for the two of us soon. My parents have been very supportive, and my new boyfriend loves her like his own. He is an amazing man and I am so grateful to have all of these amazing people in my life.


Op, you have to make the decision for yourself, but let me tell you that I wouldn't trade this baby for the world.

>>17022397
I don't know. I'm not trying to shove this down anyone's throat, I don't think that you're a monster for having an abortion. But, when I think about how it's heart is beating, I can't help but feel love? I don't know. I do want to hear you out though.

>>17022403
Source? That sounds like bullshit. By comparison, failed circumcisions that cut off the dick happen more frequently than botched abortions that harm a woman's ability to have future children.

>>17022393
Oh so how old are you then?

>>17022401
Would you rather she murders the child right now?
OP is young, probably not ready for a child and let's say worse case scenario,will abandon the child once they are three years old but atleast the child will have a chance at life.
I see no difference in them growing up abandoned to child services or some orphan who lost their parents really young.

>>17022388
I don't know much about abortion expenses but I know hospital births are very expensive. Is it really equal?

>>17022395
They've been through it before then, and I'm sure they've learned from the experience and know now what you'll need from them.

>>17022397
I'm not allowed to have opinions?
And we're all just a clump of cells, dumbass. That clump of cells is just a less developed human, but it's a human just like you and me, and one day it will be a person unless op chooses to end its life early. If she wants to keep the baby, she should. She shouldn't be pressured into an abortion because of external circumstances that are temporary and won't definelty make the baby's life worse. If she gets an abortion, she should do it because she doesn't want a baby, or because the baby's life will definelty suck and it would be cruel to bring someone into that position.

>>17022401
I'd much rather my tax money go to supporting single mothers than to war. If anything we should be spending more money on single mothers, especially since so many people are against aboritons. If you want to lower the number of abortions, then you have to demolish the social and economic pressures that make women have them. And encourage safe sex and sexual education- prevention is the most cost effective method.

>>17022414
It's not a child. It's a fetus and there's nothing wrong with having an abortion.

>>17022401
I think that is despicable. But it's not that I expect this to be easy, I do plan to work. And to work hard. I just know that at the moment I cant even pay for prenatal visits.

>>17022419
Its a living being with a beating heart. Something you seem to be devoid of.

>>17022415
No, I doubt it's equal. I actually think a pregnancy costs a lot more. I only say "at least" to be on the safe side. OP's doctor or the planned parenthood hotline would probably know for sure.

>>17022407
This is really helpful. What is pregnancy like?

>>17022395
He was 16, your BF is 19- that's a huge age difference.
Lots of people have babies when they're 19/20. To be honest, that's not even THAT early.
AND if you get a head start on building a family, you'll be the youngest looking/hottest mom at all of the school events ;)

>>17022424
Pregnancy was really scary, your body changes in ways that you don't expect. pregnancy can also be really fun though. Milestone Moments like feeling the baby kick for the first time, hearing the heartbeat, baby showers are all amazing.
It's hard to describe. You feel really amazing at times and really sad at other times. That's why it's nice to have someone who can support you.

Also- expect your body to be different afterwards, but it's not gonna look the way it does RIGHT after birth forever. I was so scared that my tummy was gonna look like a big raisin forever, but it's honestly gone back to normal over the past few years.

I'd be happy to answer any specific questions you have too

>>17022417
OP here. His nephew is four now, and hes so wonderful. His brother abandoned him with his mom, and my boyfriend was his father figure. I know he would learned from his brothers example and I know I wouldn't abandon the baby. So it is different, but it feels like I betrayed her or something.

>>17022388
>Carrying the pregnancy to term will likely cost at least the same amount in medical expenses as an abortion would, even with insurance.
Are you fucking insane? How do you think millions of years people got healthy kids? Even WITHOUT optimal diet like we have in western world nowadays. How old are you even?
Also
>butthurt baby murder detected
Keep telling yourself it's OK to slut around and murder the human beings you've created by being a unbelievably irresponsible shithead

>>17022421
When my wife was going to have a daughter last year, we didnt have enough money to even see the doctors.
We went to the medicare office, and they paid for all the expenses. Doctors visits, medications and c section etc. we didnt have to pay a single dime.
This was California btw, search online for your local social assistance office and get medicare through them.
It was called emergency medicare and the government paid for everything.
Unfortunately, the baby died 5 days before her due date unexpectedly.
A grief that i will take with me to the grave.
So many things i had wanted to enjoy with my baby doll, once she had gone, i realized all i wanted her to feel was the sun on her face and the wind in her hair.
Youve been blessed, dont let money ever make you judge the worth of your child.
Everything will work out just fine.

>>17022423
If you were me, what would you do?

>>17022422
When I was a kid and first learned what an abortion was, I asked my mother what her position on the matter was. She said "Oh, yeah, I had one once. A couple years before I had you, when I wasn't ready for a kid."

Turns out one in three women will have an abortion at some point. Any time you sit in a room with 3 or more women in it, one of them has had or will have at least one abortion in their lifetime. The thing is most just don't bring it up often. If you start asking your female coworkers, family members, friends, etc if they've had one and they aren't too embarrassed to answer truthfully, you'll find that more people you already know have had abortions than you would think. So enjoy calling all of them heartless.

>>17022412
i'm 26

>>17022439
Abort. But I'm not you. I decided a long time ago, definitely, that I just plain was not going to have children (unless I changed my mind) and that if I got pregnant I wouldn't keep it.

>>17022440
Morality isn't democracy sweetheart. I dont let the majority dictate what i believe is right.
And lets be frank, i don't think theyre heartless, i know they're heartless murderers.

>>17022425
I'm in my first year of college, I feel pretty young. But I'm definitely not going out every night kind of irresponsible. I feel like I would have to put my education on hold and focus on money.

>>17022451
Oh, that's not what makes it right. It's right all on its own. I'm just telling you how common it is so you can appreciate how many people it is whose rights you would rather have denied.

>>17022430
I have so many. Was giving birth traumatic?

>>17022405
the process itself? i went to the hospital and got an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy. then i got a brochure with the options i have (adoption and such). i had to sign that i am aware of the whole process. then i got an appointment a few days later. i went there, had to sign another paper, then i had to take a few pills in sigth of a nurse. this fist medication is a hormonal overkill and will end the pregnancy. you will feel like shit emotionally (not only, but also due to the very big hormonal changes you go trough) and start cramping a few hours later. you probably have another appointment for a "stay in"-hospital visit. this time you get another medication that's also used to induce labor. it will make you cramp like crazy, to get "everything" out. during this time you are only allowed to go to the toilet on a pot. you will bleed loads. and it hurts. at some point you will probably feel a slimy lump coming out. it will look like a little white cotton-ball or maybe already like a fetus. you will have to show a doc so he can confirm that the abortion was complete. then you get another ultrasound to see if everything came out.
then you can go home and cry yourself to sleep.

>>17022438
I'm so sorry. Do you plan on trying again?

>>17022446
Well I'm happy for you.

>>17022440
Oh just stop with your shitty bullshit statistics. Also ALL of the women who don't regret their decision are heartless bitches. But the truth is like 80% WILL regret their decision. The other 20% will keep telling themselves it was OK because the human mind is very fragile and if they didn't deny they'd break apart.

Rape pregnancies are always an exception to this rule.

>>17022437
I don't think that the amount hospitals charge for basic care for pregnant mothers is right or sensible, I just know that a lot of people are very surprised at what it amounts to. Go ahead and ask a doctor how much a full pregnancy and birth costs with the bare minimum recommended amount of care.

>>17022462
not that anon, but no, it wasn't for me.
you go into a state you don't go otherwise. you are a bit like in trance. you won't notice anything going on around you. you are just focused on the cramps. they are like waves. they come, then peak, then ebb again. what really helped me was to imagine those waves crushing over me whilst i was deep down under water, so they couldn't affect me as strongly. i kind of "observed them from afar".

>>17022464
So was it worth it?

>>17022465
We just found out she's pregnant and now we're much better off as well. Ive got a good high paying job, full medical insurance from work etc.
so happy but at the same time the what ifs will be there for my life. I dont think i can explain the level of pain to anyone. She wouldve turned 1 last week or so.

>>17022452
You can do both, or you can do one or the other.
Plenty of mothers take their babies with them to class, and raise their newborns while in college. It's not uncommon at all, in fact I think every class I'm in has atleast one mother in it.

Or, you can do one or the other.
You can abort, focus on your classes, and then have a different baby later. Or you can have the baby now and put school on hold until later.

Just do what you'd least regret. Things are scary when they don't go "according to plan", but sometimes things like this are actually blessings in disguise.
One girl in my sorority is a mom, and she only became super motivated after she had her child. She said that it was a turning point in her life, and that having her child has actually made her more productive and focused on succeeding.

What were your plans originally? Were you going through college just to go through the motions? Like would you have been happy being a housewife, or are you a career driven woman who wasn't as focused on having a family one day/would have made your husband be the stay at home parent?

I know that I have a career path picked out that I'll work until I find a husband, but my main goal is to have a family, so when I get married and start having kids, I'm planning on raising them as my "job". I was raised in a traditional family, so although I've always done well enough to support myself, my actual goal is to have a family.

So, if I were in your position, I'd keep the baby since a family's what I really want, not a job. But other women have different ambitions, and some would rather have a career than a family. I think it just depends on what your personal goals are

>>17022474
oh, and the most painfull part is the "crowning". when you press out the widest part of the babies head. but it's just 2-3 pushes and theyn maybe 2 more for the rest of the body(you will barely notice those after the crowning). and then you have a little baby. you won't "forget" about the pain, but yuo won't be hung up on it either cause you are vry occupied otherswise instantly.

>>17022474
What was it like to see your baby for the first time?

>>17022471
> 80% WILL regret their decision
Source?

This one says it's more like 5%.
http://time.com/3956781/women-abortion-regret-reproductive-health/

>>17022476
no, it wasn't. i'm glad i didn't have a baby with the bf i had then, but it would not have been necessary. i would have been able to do this on my own, too.

>>17022477
I can't imagine what that feels like. I think it takes a very strong person to go through that.

>>17022432
I don't think she'll feel like you betrayed her. I think she'll end up being supportive of you, especially if both you and your boyfriend are committed to the child.
I think you'll be surprised.
My parents are super conservative, and I thought they'd literally cut me off from shame, but they were extremely loving and kind. I had worked myself up for nothing haha

>>17022462
No- i had a lot of medication that made me pretty calm.
The days leading up to the birth were more stressful because I was psyching myself out.
I honstly though it was like a more intense version of getting a shot when you're a little kid. You spend so much time worrying and stressing over it that when it happens, you're like "oh, ok that wasn't actually so bad".

It was hard, but not traumatic.

>>17022478
I'm like you. I am more of the housewife type. I don't really have much motivation in school, and i can see why it would be a turning point. I feel like I would be much more ambitious of I keep this baby.

>>17022482
that was strange. he didn't scream. i didn't even bother with looking if it is a boy or a girl. i just held that tiny little thing in my arms and it was so fucking beautiful (when in hindsight he looked pretty gross that day, kek). the moment i looked into his eyes, it was love at first sight. i had given birth at home, so i was able to just lay in my own bed with that precious little thing next to me. i spent then next hours just looking at him, hearing him breath and marvelling at the perfect tiny human he was.

>>17022481
So, worth it?

>>17022493
100%. i would do it again in a heartbeat.

>>17022484
You don't have to answer but, did you see the fetus?
You are really helping me. I am so glad to hear all of this.

>>17022495
yes, i saw it. and i honestly have had nightmares about it later on. it was pretty horrible. just ask away. it has been a long time and i am over it. it's not affecting me anymore.

>>17022482
Amazing. Lots of mixed feelings though.
You're like "THAT was INSIDE OF ME?? I MADE that!!?" And you also think "oh my god it is so cute and tiny".
I saw my baby after she had been cleaned and stuff, but my boyfriend saw her covered in blood and stuff and said she looked like a cute alien hahaha.

It's an emotional thing holding the baby in your arms for the first time. You've been holding it in your womb for months and months but to be able to actually see the little hands and feel how soft she is... I don't know how to describe it. It feels spiritual, like you're witnessing a miracle. It's a precious moment

>>17022486
Wow. Thats amazing. Logically at most she'd be upset for some of the pregnancy. Once the baby is born I cant imagine her being mad.

>>17022439
I think you should at least talk over all of your options with your doctor. They'll know a thing or two about the situation, possibly better than a lot of people on /adv/.

>>17022483
Only because society has been brainwashed into agreeing that the baby "wasn't alive yet/just a clump of cells".

I'm sure if those mothers saw what an actual abortion looked like, they'd have different opinions on whether or not that "clump of cells" was "alive".

>>17022490
That's really interesting. What was most memorable? From birth or pregnancy.

>>17022492
That's very beautiful. Why a home birth?

>>17022494
Did it look like a baby? I know it wouldn't be like a baby but do you know what I mean?

>>17022503
Of course, it's just really nice to hear what people have to say.

>>17022513
well, my mom had me and my two siblings at home so i had nothing but good stories linked to it.
then i think that the most important thing for a pleasureable birth is that the woman need to feel relaxed and secure. for some this means the security of being in a fully equiped hospital and the relaxatino of being able to get painreliev, not needing to have the "mess" in their homes. for me, i felt most relaxed in a familiar environement and i loved the security of knowing the midwife that will be with me when giving birth. you need to find out what makes you feel better and then go with that. there's not "better way".

>>17022506
Why do you say that?

>>17022500
I joined some "young mom" groups during my pregnancy and we basically just talked about how things were going and supported eachother. There were a lot of girls in there who's parents had been upset at first, but ended up getting really excited throughout the pregnancy.

It's kind of a similar reaction to what we went though. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was scared and happy at the same time. When parents feel that mix of emotion and concern, sometimes it overwhelms them and they need a little while to process everything.
But they warm up quickly. What's not to be excited about? Their child and their child's girlfriend who they love and admire are making them a GRANDCHILD!! who cares if it's 2 or 3 years "earlier than normal", it's an amazing exciting experience, and she will most definetly be happy and excited for you once she's had a chance to process the situation.

If she reacts badly at all, it's most likely out of fear that mistakes will be repeated. If your boyfriend agrees to raise the child with you, let her know that you're both going to commit to the child 100%, and that you're so excited for her to be the grandmother of your child. Get her hyped by asking her opinions about things. Do you think it's going to be a boy or a girl? What are some cute baby names? How should we decorate the nursery?

>>17022524
How much did a home birth cost?

>>17022517
no. i only looked at it very briefly. it looked like a white cotton ball. (but i was at the very beginning. maybe 5 weeks in). but i had nightmares about a talking cotton-ball... so, yeah

>>17022527
What was it like for you to tell people or have people find out at first?

>>17022529
in my country, all the expenses are covered by insurance, so i don't have a clue. but i know that it's only about 1/3 of the costs of a hospital birth. however, you REALLY should't take costs into consideration here... if you don't feel good about a homebirth then it might result in somplications, which could get you way bigger bills than just going to the hospital in the first place.

>>17022530
Was it cotton ball sized?

>>17022534
not that anon, but my mom and sister knew INSTANTLY. they even asked me if i was pregnant. they just knew. my grandparents wheren't thrilled but now they LOVE their great-grandchild. my dad didn't say much, but is now very happy about his grandson.

>>17022507
Hmm... Most memorable from pregnancy was feeling and seeing the baby kick. i remember I was laying in bed and my boyfriend was reading a Harry Potter to me, and my belly was in my leripheral vision and I saw it go "bloop!" And bounce a little!It was so funny- it kept happening whenever my boyfriend did hermione's voice (he did different voices for all the characters) so we were laughing that maybe she'd grow up to be smart like hermione one day.

From birth, the most memorable part was holding her. I remember not wanting to let her go at all haha- my boyfriend wanted to hold her and it was almost painful to hand her to him. I had just felt like I had been holding her for so long that she was a part of me, and I felt incomplete when I wasn't holding her in my arms.

I have a lot of great memories. They're good in different ways, but those two stick out to me in particular

>>17022535
I have wondered if home births were safe before. It feels like they wouldn't be but I don't really know, and we did get along fine without hospital births before.

>>17022539
a bit smaller i think

>>17022541
That's so crazy! They just knew? Wow I've heard of that kind of thing and thought it was impossible

>>17022542
Hearing this sort of thing I just can't go through with an abortion

>>17022543
they are just as safe in my opinion. the midwife has an emergency-kit that also has an oxygen-tank. you will still be registered at the nearest hospital. they have all your infos so they are prepared in a case of emergency. also, there's a doctor that's on demand for that midwife. she can call him in anytime. he will also show up after birth to do a "second opinion health check". and in the last stage of the birth, there will be a second midwife coming in, just to make sure that one could accompany the baby and one could stay with the mom if anything goes wrong. they take security VERY serious with homebirths.

>>17022534
Family is kind of quiet at first. They don't know what to say because they haven't really processed what being pregnant means in relation to their lives. Plus they kind of want to see how you feel about the fact that your pregnant- they don't want to be like "OMG CONGRATZ" and then you be like "I'm getting an abortion tho". But after you tell them what your plans are and they have a little while to process things, they are excited and supportive and ask a lot of questions and buy you a bunch of stuff and ask how you're feeling all the time.

It is terrifying to tell them. Probably the hardest part of the whole thing. I'd rather go through birth again then feel the way I did sitting in my car trying to work up the nerve to tell my parents.

Friends were supportive right from the get go. The second you tell them the are like "OH MY GOD YAAAAAY CAN I BE THE GOD MOTHER!!! WAIT I WANNA BE AN AUNT HELP ME COME UP WITH A COOL AUNT NAME!"

Telling the father was hard because he wasn't supportive, but I ditched him and met my new boyfriend who instantly fell into the roll of being a father and supported me through my pregnancy.

>>17022544
I know you know you're not a bad person for going through with that, in fact you're very strong. I won't get an abortion.

>>17022547
>They just knew?
it was crazy, yes. i went to the doctor cause i had horrible KIDNEY cramps. my sister gave me a lift from the doc and when i got into the car she looked at me and said : "omg! you're pregnant!". it was pretty weird. we then went home and the first thing my mom said was "which of you both is pregnant?". that was even weirder. she didn't even know i had an appointment at the doc...

>>17022552
I'm pretty interested in this. Even though it's so far off

>>17022554
>I won't get an abortion
i'm actually happy you won't. i tell every girl that it will be ok, no matter her decision. but having a baby, even with no money is way better than living with having an abortion. atleast it was in my case.

>>17022550
You don't have to decide yet of course- but again I would never trade my baby girl for anything in the whole world. She makes me so proud every day.

What are your main reservations about having a child right now? Like for what reasons specifically are you considering abortion?

>>17022553
That sounds so fun, and terrifying

>>17022556
that's normal. let me guess, you already think about names? it's just motherly instinct to do that. awww, that's so cuuute. kek

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>>17022553
>Telling the father was hard because he wasn't supportive, but I ditched him and met my new boyfriend who instantly fell into the roll of being a father and supported me through my pregnancy.

Aaaand /r9k/ was right once again

>>17022560
It really was the hardest part for me.
But when you get through that, you know you can get through anything.
Plus in your case, your boyfriend probably won't be unsupportive like mine was. He helped raise his brother's child, right? If anything, he's probably well prepared for the role. When are you gonna tell him? I'm sure he'll react fine

>>17022559
Money was a huge concern. Since I've gotten into the real world this past year or so the concept of money has become so real. Honestly though, I dont think I could go through with it. It would feel so wrong because I feel this overwhelming love for this "clump of cells"

>>17022563
Haha I've known the names for a long time so I don't really have to think about that until baby 2

>>17022571
kek. what did you choose?

>>17022566
I really trust him with the role of father because I've seen it for the past two years. Whenever we're all together his nephew knows to be on his best behavior but they still have so much fun talking about pokemon. I think i might tell him either now or in the morning.

>>17022565
Right about what? I found an amazing man with a big heart, and I will appreciate him and treat him like a king for the rest of his life. Being such an amazing father to a child that isn't biologically his... I could never ask for a better man. He and I were friends before I was pregnant, and when I left my ex he told me that he had always liked me and that he would be happy to support me through pregnancy... I had had no idea that he had liked me like that. To me the pregnancy was a blessing because it showed me to a loving, quality man, AND because now I have a beautiful baby girl.

>>17022572
Jaquan

>>17022569
I see- well I'm personally glad that you're leaning towards keeping the baby. That was the best decision i ever made.

You're right that money will be hard, but you can make it. You and your boyfriend can work together, and I encourage you to take advantage of the resources that will completely cover the cost of some of your expenses and provide you with free newborn items

>>17022572
My boyfriends great grandmother was a big part of his life so if it's a girl it's Ophelia. Like the awesome song. That name sounded so old and even stupid at first but it really grew on me. If it's a boy it would be George for my father. (That name is just as old sounding I know) haha

>>17022584
Very cute names op!!!

>>17022578
>He and I were friends before I was pregnant, and when I left my ex he told me that he had always liked me and that he would be happy to support me through pregnancy...
he he

>>17022584
that's really cute. good ideas! i wish you best of luck! and go tell your bf now! hurry

>>17022581
I am going to take that advice as best I can.

>>17022578
That's really amazing.

>>17022584
>Ophelia
This song ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta3OsyNCuvs

Honestly I thought it's the name of the bipolar basket-case in Hamlet, who committed suicide, but perhaps I was wrong.

>>17022584
Sooooo cute!
Op I am so happy for you!! Congrats!!

>>17022578
They were right about guys having onenitis and raising kids that aren't theirs because you can settle for the nice guy /after/ the jerk that's the father of your child.

At least, I'm pretty sure that's what he meant.

>>17022597
Oh no, Ophelia by The Band

>>17022599
Thank you very much!

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>>17022578
I really hope your life doesn't turn out like Blue Valentine, because so far it does sound pretty eerily similar D:

>>17022597
What happens in that?

>>17022611
What happens in blue Valentine?

Thank you all for the awesome advice. I'm going to tell him right now