I have a friend who I absolutely terrible at keeping appointments. He's a great guy and all, but when he says he's going to be coming over at one, he is three and counting hours late.
He messages and tells me he's helping his parents do shit around the house, but I've got a creeping feeling around me that he's passively trying to sod off.
Of course, I'm the type of person who falls for the confirmation bias really hard. What should I do? I don't want to rip on him for being absolute shit with time, because supposedly he does this with the rest of his friends, but I dunno. What can you recommend me /adv/?
Stop expecting him to tell the truth. Then there's no disappointment. The corollary to that, however, is that you also don't make accommodations for him. If he says he's coming over at 1, he's not going to be there at 1 and you don't have to be there either when he does arrive. If you feel like taking a nap at 3 then you answer your door, say "Sorry dude but I'm gonna take a nap, see you later" and close the door.
meeting at 5. he is always an hour late tell him to be there at 4.
Eventually they catch on to whats going on and get better.
>>17012841
Is a dick move a good response tho? Seems like a straight road to ruined friendships
>>17012885
Intentionally doing something antagonistic is a dick move. Please explain to me which part of this story is intentionally antagonistic:
>I want to play video games at 1pm
>I invite my friend to join me, he accepts
>At 1pm I play video games alone because he didn't arrive
>After 2 hours of playing video games I'd like to take a nap
>He arrives at 3pm
>I tell him I'm going to take a nap and say goodbye because I don't intend to nap with him
>I take my nap
Think about it yet another way: if he did show up on time, you'd still have played video games for two hours before wanting to take a nap, at which point he would have gone home.
I think you need to have your "dick move meter" re-calibrated. You're being a pussy about ruining friendships by acting like a normal, reasonable human being. Maybe have the confidence to be normal and reasonable and fuck the people who can't fit into that? Just a thought.
>>17012907
Fair enough. Here's what I've decided to do. Once he comes over, I'll tell him that for any future events, he has a maximum 30 minute leniency. After those 30 minutes, anything that either of us scheduled is called off, regardless.
I've wasted the last four hours doing stupid shit waiting for him, and I don't ever want to repeat that.
