Help, gender issue
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Straight to the point.
> I'm having dreams and nightmares where I successfully become a female through hormones and surgery, something I've been wishing for since I'm about 4 years old, it's getting more and more frequent and takes over my life, worsens my depression and kills my happiness.
> I know I have a mental disorder, it's biologically not normal to want to be the opposite sex.
What do? I'll give in more detail to helpful replies.
>b8
>>>/lgbt/
They made that board for a reason.
>>17007820
It's not bait, I'm seeking legit advice and help, even if there is a board for it, this place is called 'advice' which is what I am seeking.
>>17007803
how old are you?
maybe just transition. it's not so bad most of the time.
>>17007825
Find a therapist. As far as I know the process is always therapist first, then if your therapist says yes hormones are the best choice you take hormones otherwise you find a different way to fix it.
If you can't afford a therapist because you live in some country where they can't provide you one for free or whatever reason, I guess you are fucked.
>>17007826
I'm currently 22, been wishing to be a girl since the age of 4.
>>17007827
I've had 2 therapists and both were useless and lead nowhere, I've had them for a long while too. They didn't really understand my situation as I was not what they were 'commonly' used to dealing with.
>>17007829
You need one that specializes in this. Otherwise if you just start taking hormones, you'll go through a lot of stress and trouble that may be too much to deal with alone. Surround yourself with people who understand you.
And yes, life sucks a lot for some people.
>>17007829
okay well. you do know that the "trans is a mental illness" thing is just a shitty 4chan meme, right? the APA and other leading psych groups now say it's not a mental disorder.
transition is usually the most effective means of addressing these feelings. but this is an important decision you have to make on your own, and you'd be doing yourself a disservice to jump into transitioning without seriously thinking about it some. like the social ramifications. there are a lot of social ramifications and it sucks a lot of the time.
some trans people are happier staying as their assigned or birth gender. like just because you're trans doesn't mean you have to go through with the transition. you need to do what's right for you.
i suggest searching for a local psychologist that mentions "gender/sexuality issues" on their website or whatever. if you're in a big city there are probably LGBT clinics or similar.
>>17007832
Thing is, I'm haunted by this shitty problem, there's some factors that literally murder the shit out of it being worth it at all.
> Found perfect waifu for laifu, she knows of my situation but wants a male partner. I don't wanna lose her, she's way too perfect.
> Since I was heavily harassed and severely bullied in school, I was raised in martial arts which gave me a built body, nothing feminine about it, if I was to try and change into a female I'd simply look like a weird, built monster who tries to be feminine, this worsens my depression because I know I'd never be beautiful even if I went for it, I'd just look like a weird failed transition.
>>17007845
going on HRT causes you to lose a ton of muscle mass. and then it's a lot harder to put back on. so don't worry about that lol.
>>17007844
It's something I've been trying to do, accept my current gender and be a 'pretty boy' or 'feminine boy' but sometimes the fact that I'm not recognized as a female stil pains me regardless, is this normal?
>>17007845
I get what you mean. Well maybe you can try to live in a less gender specific role. If your gf really gets you she should understand. You don't need to force yourself to be what she wants, you are the most important person and if she doesn't accept you she's wrong. As for the body thing well some people have managed to change their body succesfully, others couldn't. Idk if some sort of expert can tell you what will happen.
Again, try to see if you can find a therapist that specialises in LGBT or specifically transgender issues.
>>17007850
idk about normal but it's definitely something i've experienced. the benefit of the psych specializing in gender is that you get to explore these feelings and come to better understand yourself.
gotta find a good psych though.
>>17007858
Will do, I think I need to have a deeper talk about it with her and maybe I need to do some research about being more in touch with my own self and, as you said, live a genderless life, I wouldn't know where to begin doing that though, it sounds like a big undertaking to seperate myself from the learned norms I've been forced to undergo.
>>17007859
Do you know if they're just called psychiatrist or therapists or if they have a special name for their LGBT expertise?
>>17007850
Transexuals are derived from environmental circumstances. When i was a boy i thought i'd be happier as a girl and i probably would have been because of my personality. I was the youngest in my family, so i wasnt assertive, i was submissive, i had girly traits, i was told i looked like a girl/cuteboy ( genetics ). I watched animes and tv shows where men were dominant and women submissive. I made a lot of best friends that were tall, handsome, confident and i felt confident being around them which made me hyper and happy. I used to have dreams about being a girl and kissing my best friends. Yet i don't anymore, because i grew up. You are your gender, you cannot change your gender, you are what you were born to be. Sucks but you deal with it and make the most of what you have in life, not what you dont.
Grow up kid, I KNOW i woulda been a qte 3.14 but i'm not one, so i dont think about stupid things like that. Dont complicate your life with stupid things that are fantasy. You are your gender, biologically.
>>17007864
psychiatrists are medical doctors and can prescribe meds (they don't do hormones- think antidepressants). psychologists are psychological doctors without medical training. therapist and counselor are kind of blanket terms for people who offer therapy. can be psychs, can be social workers, etc.
i'm not sure it matter so much which you see. i mean don't see a psychiatrist they don't generally do this sort of thing (though they can). just look online for psychs in your area. they should have websites or profiles on other sites listing their areas of interest. you're looking for gender and/or sexuality listed there.
there may be weird laws where you live about how to get on hormones. may require you to see an actual psychologist. this was not the case in my state though. i saw a guy with a BA in English and MA in psych stuff. then he referred me to endocrinologist and i got my hormones.
>>17007881
we're not sure what causes transsexualism. there are many theories involving genetic, social, etc. pressures. but we don't know for sure.
don't assert your false belief that the science has determined environment to be THE cause. because it's untrue and potentially harmful.
No ones asking the real question
Are you cute?
>>17007883
>
In my country we need a psychologist or psychiatrist's approval to undergo Hormono therapy, one of my previous therapists completely disagreed to it while my last one fully did, but she didn't have the power to give approval for some shitty reason.
>>17007914
yeah laws are widely varied and always weird about this stuff. some places you have to live as your preferred gender for x many months before you can get the hormones. which fucking sucks lol.
>>17007922
I've just done some research and contacted some places in the city, some linked me to 'professionals' about this subject, the person didn't answer but I left a message and I'm hoping for a response, I explained my situation and I'm grateful for the support you guys have shown here, it did make a difference so thank you so much.
>>17007933
hey no problem. this is what adv is for :)
don't let the assholes get you down. they're assholes.
>>17007888
We do know, it's blatantly true, transexuals are purely based on society. When they transition what do they do? Get breast implants, wear makeup, dress in "feminine" clothing, raise their voice. Yet.... Their are women who naturally have tiny breasts, have higher voices, dress in plain non "feminine" clothing, don't use makeup. All those things transexuals do is based of SOCIETY'S PERCEPTION of females.
Majority of females would be devistated and depressed if they couldn't bare children, yet transexuals arent because of that. They're depressed they aren't born as females and thats only for the "unpassable" transexuals.
The more happy transexuals are the attractive ones. Yet there are plenty of unattractive FEMALES that care more about less shallow things. It's all based on how society treats beautiful women, which all trannies aspire to be. Show me one that doesnt and i'll show you a flyijng pig.
>>17007963
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0UfCWHGsNET
>>17007977
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0UfCWHGsNET
Wow, you are literally a cliche.
>>17007977
Sexy voice speaks the truth.
>>17008156
nothing cliché about me. i'm not like the other girls.
(because of the penis)
>>17008199
It's safe to say, you aren't a girl at all.
(because of the penis)
