How do I help a virgin that I'm seeing come out of their shell in terms of sexuality? We're of opposite gender, so it's nothing to do with orientation, but rather that he associates sex with degrading a woman, and seems ashamed that he has sexual desires, although I know that he isn't asexual.
For context, he was raised in a female dominated environment with no father figure, and he's 24 years old, your stereotypical /v/irgin that rarely leaves the house (although he does have a part time job at the local corner shop).
>>16998802
kek i like this picture
i have the same issue as that guy,
bump out of interest
Maybe you can ask her? Sit down, cuddle, and then ask, gently.
She will have the best understanding. Hopefully she could be forthcoming.
You said he never had a father figure, and has been surrounded by females? I think I see the problem. It is how he was raised. I think you are a female, too? And you're asking because you can't get him to mot be ashamed of his sexuality? This is typically a problem in gays, as well as women. They are oppressed that way in our society.
If you are in a relationship with this fellow, as you might be, perhaps you need to be subtle in this case and take the initiative yourself?
>>16998802
He has to understand that his upbringing was factually WRONG, and that he was sexually sabotaged by his own mother and family, then he'll be ok.
Good luck with that.
>>16998802
that's a great sense of humor haha
What a wimp
>>16998802
>associates sex with degrading a woman, and seems ashamed that he has sexual desires
Has he opened up about his childhood? Sounds like it wasn't ideal, to say the least. May have been abused.
Regardless, i'd say there's a couple worthwhile approaches to start with. First, make sure you avoid general submissiveness until he's ready, and especially avoid saying shit like "take me", "fuck me", etc, and any dirty talk you've heard from subs (this should go without saying). Avoid handjobs and especially blowjobs if they make him uncomfortable. Don't do things like leading him into the bedroom, lying down on the bed, and looking at him with big doe-eyes.
The general theme is that for now, you have to avoid forcing him into the dominant position, since it'll spark his anxieties ("am i hurting her?", "am i going too far?", "is she just servicing me?", "does she feel forced to do this?", etc). The 1st goal is to get him comfortable with sex in general, you'll break these mental chains later.
Also, this might be actually be pretty hard if you have a lot of experience, since many/most of the guys you've been with probably love this stuff (may have picked some habits up without knowing).
Second part is to make sure you emphasize to him that sex is NOT about him, it's about both of you. That it's a mutually pleasurable experience, an important part of a relationship, and his responsibility (not his right/privilege). Many femanons here have a pretty awful attitude toward sex, and i've read things like:
>premature ejaculation isn't all that bad since we can get it over with quicker
>we fake orgasms to make men feel better and get it over with, easier than waiting for you to keep pounding away for 45 minutes until you finally give up
That's probably the kind of shit going through his head, and you have to make it very clear that's not the case between you. Initiate frequently, tell him often how much you enjoy it, etc. Good luck.
