So, I've got a bit of a convoluted story and if someone actually takes interest in giving me some advice, I'll tell the long version.
Here's the short version:
In short. I want to be this girl's friend in a way where she sees me as more than a co-worker and as someone she may eventually date. I've never had a girlfriend before (or any real female friends for that matter), am a virgin and don't know how to properly deal with these feelings I have for her. She knows I like her, we get along pretty well and I feel as though she walked out of my goddamn dreams (she's physically attractive, but to all of my personal tastes). I'm 23 and she's 19. I don't just want to have sex with her. I enjoy her personality more than anything else.
I've gotten to know her pretty decently, we text each other, have good conversations at work and the like. The issue here is, she had a relationship end badly for her around two months ago, the time I really started talking to her and getting to know her. That's not the problem for me. She's told me that she's not interested in any relationships right now, but wants to be my friend, which, out of respect for her, I'm okay with.
The real problem is: I don't drive a car and she always has family obligations during the same times of day she'd be able to see me outside of work. She's comfortable with seeing me outside of work and doesn't seem to not want to spend time with me, but she has a friend who she said she sees "every day". I didn't really get an answer when I suggested she maybe switch up who she hangs out with, but she smiled.
My question is: How do I turn myself into the type of friend she wants to see outside of work often and how do I turn that friendship into a serious relationship? I've resigned myself to not bothering her much outside of work until I know for a fact that she actually wants to hang out and makes an effort to do so.
for all as i can see the only problem is to find right time and day when she's free .
>>16996971
That's the problem. She works the same days and shifts as me, the overnight shift. Her wake up times are sporadic, where as mine are more consistent. By the time I wake up she's either sleeping (she's forgetful and doesn't usually reply to texts unless she's there to see them) or already occupied with something.
To go along with her forgetfulness, she also forgets to take her phone with her when she leaves the house.
Just ask her out to hang out with a few times. If she finds the time, good for you. If she doesn´t (after some time), tell her to tell you if and when she wants to hang out herself.
Other possibility: find a nice event and invite her there.
Anyways if she doesn´t find the time, start looking elsewhere. Friends or partners, this applies to both
>>16997162
She's mentioned to me that her family is looking to move soon so they've been looking at houses. She's kind of obligated to go, so maybe I should wait to see when she isn't?
Alternatively, she's mentioned to me that she likes to go to the mall a lot so I suppose I can ask her if she'd like to go shopping with me? I had been meaning to spruce up my wardrobe a bit and have actually just today bagged up a bunch of old clothes to donate.
She's mentioned to me that she's been absolutely dying to go out to eat at a certain place and twice last week we had made the plans. It all looked good for both days until 1: her grandmother who she lives with needed to run errands with her. We had work that night and it was like two hours from the time we had to be there. 2: she forgot her phone and had to go look at houses during the next day, after she told me she could definitely go out.
Those two missed dinner plans sort of brought this entire thing on.
As for an event I can invite her to, I'm not sure what that could be. She isn't my girlfriend, so it wouldn't be right for me to invite her to anything family involved unless it was super casual. My other friends tend to be really busy most of the time and don't usually invite me to go places unless they know for a fact I'd like it.
>>16996895
>girl's friend in a way where she sees me as more than a co-worker and as someone she may eventually date
stopped reading
>girl's friend
>someone she may eventually date
those are contradictory statements
pick 1
>>16997206
I want to respect her wish to be friends, but I want the friendship to build to a point where I can know for sure if she feels the same way about me. If she doesn't, whatever, I got a friend out of it. I'll stop trying.
I have mentioned to her that I don't really have any other female friends. She told me that we were going to work on that. I can take that three different ways.
A) She doesn't want to be the center of my romantic attention and will try to shift it to one of her friends or another girl, becoming something of a female wingman.
B) She wants to get the opinions of her friends about whether or not she should date me, because she is unsure and doesn't know if it's worth it because I'm a clueless "good guy" who's older than her.
C) She just wants me to have more friends, hoping the experience will help me either properly court her or someone else.
>>16997242
>I want to respect her wish to be friends, but I want the friendship to build to a point where I can know for sure if she feels the same way about me
stopped reading again
it doesn't work that way.
either pursue her romantically at first, or pursue her as a friend.
You can't approach her as a friend if you want to stick it in her.
>>16997251
I've got many friends with relationship experience. It definitely works that way going off of what they've told me. In fact, a few of them even said that's the "proper" way to do it.
>>16997155
>she also forgets to take her phone with her when she leaves the house.
Something women never do. She's making excuses because she's not really into you
>>16997266
>I've got many friends with relationship experience. It definitely works that way going off of what they've told me
I have many friends that have job experience. They are part time janitors.
Experience/getting the girl doesn't mean shit. They're wrong. If you look closely at the relationships they either failed or are straining as fuck
You are supposed to approach her romantically from the get go.
Your friends are pussies.
