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Anonymous
2016-04-02 22:01:58 Post No. 16988995
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Anonymous
2016-04-02 22:01:58
Post No. 16988995
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I just want to rant
I am 18, soon 19. I am mad sexually frustrated. I lift, I go out, I am pretty sociable (I find it very easy to talk to people, not shy, many friends, etc. but I'm not some ultra-social butterfly), dress well, I go to one of the best schools in the country and just got accepted to a top 25 worldwide university, I flirt with women all the time and they reciprocate. Hell I have women (granted, 4s and 5s) literally chasing my ass sometimes, and have had a few very popular/hot/whatever girls (8s) express interest in me but less explicitly. BUT I have never had sex or even kissed a girl.
My main problems are : logistical issues (still live with parents and will for at least the next few years of college guaranteed, plus they still break my fucking balls all the time when I go out), deep confidence issues (as I said, extreme sexual inexperience makes me paralyzed when it comes to actually making out with women or having sex with them), self-image issues (I genuinely think I have a very good face to work with, but I have mild to moderate body and face acne and what I suspect is BDD regarding it. I constantly have images of women being utterly disgusted with my skin if we ever got naked together. In moments of clarity I realize I shouldn't care so much but it's pretty hard not to)
I think I have depression? IDK at least a mild form of it, sometimes late at night I get into some pretty deep self-loathing. I used to have suicidal thoughts in 10th grade but not anymore. Though sometimes the thought of disappearing from earth does seem appealing I don't really think about it regularly anymore.
So yeah I just wanted to write this out because I can't tell anyone about this in my real life. Maybe I need to see a mental health professional.