Hey /adv/,
So a friend I fucked awhile ago had a kid 2 years ago. Her boyfriend came back into the picture around the time she got pregnant and when she let him know it could potentially be someone else's he didn't care and decided to raise it as his own. She didn't let me know until jokingly a year ago, but recently sat me down and told me that she found out it was mine.
How should I go about this? I don't want to be with her, but I don't want to just ignore my biological child (refuse to call it my kid or my daughter since I have done nothing). I would have tried if she'd let me know before all this but now the child knows another man as dad. She's also lied about pregnancy, miscarriages and a whole list of other things including how and why we broke up to her family. How can I go about verifying that his documentation is legit? The guy is cool and a friend despite all the drama around me and her and I wouldn't want to take away this and a girl who just seems infatuated with the idea of me to raise a kid that until 24 hours ago was not mine. Please help me think this out
>>16977357
>told me that she found out it was mine
How the fuck does she think she "found out it was yours" without you knowing? You realize you can't just tell these things by magical powers, right? It would require a paternity test, which can't be done without you knowing.
>>16977362
She could have tested the other bf and got a negative. Unless she's a turboslut and has a third possibility, process of elimination leaves OP as the daddy.
Why do anything about it? You were not asked to be a parent to this child, so leave it alone. If that changes, I would expect a judge to make that call, after reviewing the necessary proof and documentation.
>>16977366
Paternity tests require both people, fooliso.
>>16977372
You seem to think they require the consent and knowledge of both people. That isn't true. If you can swipe a dude's hair, you can test on the sly.
http://www.dnacenter.com/blog/can-a-dna-paternity-test-be-done-without-the-father/
>>16977357
Get a paternity test. If it is yours, only ask that the kid be informed once it can understand the concept. You're lucky she's not asking you for anything, so leave it alone. You can have more children.
>>16977357
The kid's not yours. She's lying to you to to leave you as an open opportunity in case it doesn't work out with her current boyfriend.
>>16977357
This is fucking horrible. Jesus. If you got into this situation you should realize this woman cannot be trusted.
>>16977380
Can a paternity test be done without her? She would just play a power move and say fuck it you don't and will not see this child and yada yada.
>>16977362
She supposedly acquired his saliva while he was sleeping for the test
>>16977378
Ok, but we're still off topic. Is this test even a legal court document? Either way, OP needs more to go on then her word. A judge needs to decide if he is in any way responsible for the child.
>>16977378
Lol, that very website says the test is non-legal if consent and knowledge by both parties isn't established. What's the matter with you, it was in the second paragraph.
>>16977403
She's been having on and off problems with him. He's unable to hold a job, he's late picking her up from work and I've heard that when I disappear from talking to her or don't come around she's meaner, but she gives him crap when I'm around and I tell her to stop doing that because it's disrespectful. He's a nice guy, he watches his kid while she's in school and at work. Picks her up from work and tries to have a relationship with her but she's just seems afraid to tell him because she's definitely more dependent on him than he is her. Her job and school are all based on him transporting her and watching he kid
>>16977432
Nothing's the matter with me, because the question was if the girlfriend could have already tested her boyfriend's paternity or not. She could have. OP isn't asking shit about legal obligations about this point.
Go fuck off with your non-existent reading comprehension, kid.
>>16977357
>but now the child knows another man as dad
>refuse to call it my kid or my daughter since I have done nothing
Sounds like you know what the right thing to do here is. Don't get involved unless something goes seriously wrong (such as him walking out on the family, killing himself, them splitting up and her getting with an abusive scumbag, etc). Give the kid a chance at a normal childhood, then consider contacting them when they're grown.
>>16977434
Sounds to me like she's already preparing to jump ship and rope you into being her bitch.
>>16977445
You're right I don't want to do the wrong thing. I would hate to be a scumbag but part of me feels like I didn't do anything wrong, but there's nothing I can do after 2 years
>>16977434
Tell this chick to fuck off. You're not taking responsibility for some kid who was raised by someone else just because she claims that it's yours.
