I'm an IVF baby
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Literally today I was told by my mother that my father isn't my biological father. I've been told that he was a student who donated sperm years ago. She is unwilling to help me locate him and so is my non-biological father. I live in the UK so what are my choices? I was born 1997 if that helps.
>>16974140
why on earth would you even bother
Call a solicitor numbnuts.
>>16974147
I primarily want to find this guy so I can know if he has any medical problems that run in his family that I need to be aware off + to know if I have any half siblings
>hello yes im ur biological father, i remember jizzing into the collection bottle all those years ago..... thats about it, seeya, kid!
>>16974163
>so I can know if he has any medical problems that run in his family that I need to be aware off
They screen extensively for these in sperm donorship, so unless he lied his pants off, he does not.
>to know if I have any half siblings
You might have dozens of IVF half siblings, but those will all be confidential and he couldn't tell you about them even if he knew. And you might have half siblings that he raised as his own kids, but why would you take his family and try to make it yours? You have a family. They might welcome you with open arms, but you have a mom and dad that (ideally) raised you. They are your mom and dad.
>>16974163
>any medical problems
like >>16974194 said, sperm banks screen that shit 10 times over. unless he just wanted to jerk it for the money, you're fine. also yeah you probably have siblings. multiple ones if more people used his sperm.
>>16974206
>>16974194
Still I want to know things like what he looks like, his hair colour etc
>>16974224
Clearly you must have gotten your retardation from your mother's side.
>>16974140
Your plan is stupid, but if I were you, I'd find out where my parents were living in 1997, then find out how many IVF clinics were in a 50 mile radius, then swipe my mom's documents and call each one pretending to be her, telling them I DID have IVF at that clinic and asking if they had my information on file, and if so, who my donor was.
Keep in mind that while occasionally parents actually know the name of their donor, they usually do not in which case the clinic will not tell you.
Time to put on your deerstalker, OP. Looks like you're going to have to do some sleuthing.
Start by figuring out where your mother lived in 1996 and 1997. If they haven't moved around much, you might remember this yourself, or even still live there.
Once you have this, get a list of fertility clinics and sperm banks in that area. Do a little homework on each one: for example, you can safely cross off any that hadn't yet opened in 1996. If you find any that have closed since then -these places don't close often, but it happens sometimes- then you'll need to find out what happened to their records. A lawyer should be able to help you with that.
Once you have your list of clinics (and records-holders, if applicable) then start making phone calls. They're unlikely to just give you the information you need over the phone, but they may tell you what you need to do next.
Do note that you may not be able to get all the information you're looking for. I doubt they'll give you information on half-siblings, for example. They may not even give you information on your own sperm donor. But they may at least be able to give you information on diseases, if there were any.
>>16974140
IVF is straight out of Brave New World. Sorry for you, OP
