Coming out
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
How do I come out of the closet? I'm afraid that I won't be accepted by my family and peers.
just tell them, dont worry but if you live in syria or irak better not
>>16972196
Wait a few years until you realize being gay was a stupid phase you were going through and move on with your life.
>>16972196
Google coming out advice. A lot of guys have gone through this and there are sites offering advice and support.
you don't need to tell anyone anything. date who you want, be with who you want, maybe just casually mention you're gay if someone really wants to know and they haven't gotten the fucking picture yet.
Unfortunately, this happens often enough for the fear to be valid, even if it (usually) turns out to be unfounded. You cannot wait to not be scared, OP, because as long as you do, it won't ever happen. It cannot: it's a reasonable thing to fear.
What you need, therefore, is courage. This doesn't mean you aren't scared; it means you ARE scared, but you do it anyway. There is simply no other option, because the fear isn't going to go away until youget this over with.
There are really only two pieces of advice I can give you here. One is to do it quickly. There are two sets of people -the ones you're out to and the ones you're not- and as long as one of those sets isn't empty, it will get hard to keep track of who is in which, both for you and for the people you've already told. You don't want to be doing that for very long.
But my other advice is not to dive in all at once. You need to move fast, but you can still pick the order. Start small, going one-on-one with the people you think are most likely to accept you. Those early wins good for morale, and morale is important. Then keep moving: ramp up the number of people you tell at once if you can, but it's more important that people get told quickly, so if you have to keep going one-on-one, then it's not the end of the world. Ideally you want to get through everyone in a week or less: that's not always practical, but do it if you can.
I feel like there's something I need to disclose at this juncture. The Westboro Baptists are no allies of mine, but I do hold to some beliefs that many people here would call archaic if they were feeling charitable. I'm sure you catch my meaning. Despite this, I recognize the courage it takes to come out, and that's something I have a lot of respect for. Good luck to you. I really do hope it goes well for you. But we're talking about being honest, so you needed to know where this advice was coming from.
It's 2016, literally no one cares about your sexual orientation.
>>16972196
the big question is, do you need to come out?
being closeted is a god-tier lifestyle imo.
it has all the benefits of being gay (sex with dudes) without the negative aspects (other people not minding their own business, and treating you differently).
even my friends that are extremely pro gay are annoying about it, because they still have to comment on anything gay all the fucking time and relate it to me.
even when not doing that, there is the subconscious.
you have a best friend lets say. right now you are his 'best bro'.
but when you are gay you are no longer osmeones 'best bro'. you are now their 'gay best friend'. you are no longer an actual guy to them. your gayness has made you something foreign. you can still get really close, but its not the same as being 'best bro'.
similarly
>have one friend who knows im gay
>one friend who doesnt
>friend who doesnt know im gay will come right up to me at the urinal, take a leak next to me and just talk about whatever is going on
>friend who DOES know im gay will claim he needs to use the bathroom
>then when he sees im using a urinal too will just wash his hands instead and claim he no longer needs to go
despite how gay positive and friendly he is (We actually only met because i asked him on a date, which is how he knows im gay and not anyone else).
so before you come out of the closet, decide if you need to. if the gay population is small there then why bother?
'Coming Out' is self-serving.
'Coming Out' is a waste of time.
Why do you need to shout 'I like boys' from the proverbial mountaintop?
Why not let people find out for themselves (or not at all)?
Your parents probably know already, or at least have a feeling.
Most mothers do.
'Coming Out' is not a rite of passage.
You are not a coward for not wearing it like a personality trait.
Do not let the community pressure you to fuck your life up.
This leads to bad things (addiction, HIV).
Live your own life.
>>16973655
>its okay to have sex with boys
>but coming otu will lead to addiction and hiv
im pro closet but seriously?
>>16973697
He is clearly being pressured by the 'community' 2 do things he does not feel comfortable doing.
Has nothing 2 do with 'Coming Out'
He needs 2 build some fortitude before he gets manipulated by some guy
Read my post again bb
>>16973721
>he is clearly
maybe ask a single follow up question before you make the assumption that he is 'clearly' being pressured.
perhaps he wants to come out despite uncomfortableness. despite the fact that i agree with the sentiment, many gays want to be 'who they are' without 'hiding' themselves, regardless of who hates on them. by your logic no one should ever be 'out' because there are people who will make you feel uncomfortable about being gay cuz their assholes.
I agree with your sentiment. no one needs to be 'out' and being in the closet is often times more freeing than not.
but you make a shitton of assumptions and bring them to really stupid illogical conclusions.
>>16972196
lmao
kill yourself faggot.
>>16972196
I've had plenty of friends come out over the years. For the most part, nobody has given a shit. A couple of parents have been dicks about it for awhile, but few people are willing to give up a relationship with their kids over it.
This isn't the 70s anymore.
>>16973739
Fair enough I guess.
Nothing is stopping him from being as Liberace as he wants though.
Don't know why u have 2 affirm 2 others that ur different repeatedly.
Just think it's better 2 b open w/out making a big deal out of it.
>>16973598
What are you, 16?
>>16973807
well in the case of family (particularly who you live with) its much easier to say
>just so you know, I'm gay
and let them ask their questions and answer so they have an understanding. cuz despite how many times someone says
>BUT ITS 2016!!1!
there are still people (especially old people) who dont know much about this, dont understand this, or still hate it. to pretend no one actually cares is rather ignorant of the ignorance.
to treat it casually with your parents will just lead to confusion and make them ask these questions anyways, so why not be forth coming? by your own logic he shouldn't tell them anything personal about himself and just let them find out casually. they dont need to wait until he gives them a 'new address' to find out their son moved. they dont need to wait til he brings home a guy to find out hes gay.
again, im pro closet, but you act like coming out of the closet is a big partied up event. when it comes to friends and family its convenient to sit down, tlel them you are gay, explain any misunderstandings they might have (Yes they still exist) as well as clarify any confusion they might have about your previous actions before you realized you were gay.
is it really a big deal to sit down at dinner and tell your parents you are gay? i think you are making a big deal out of coming out to be honest.
topkek. attention whores. every single gay man i know.
>o look at me im gay haha :)
>>16973809
no, but ill play along.
why do you ask?
>>16972196
i will never understand why people give a shit about who someone else is fucking (provided all parties are consenting adults). ive got no advice for you, as i have no experience with this sort of thing. but good luck, op
>>16973590
CURRENT
