pls respond

The only thing I can suggest is practice. Make being gentle and loving your focus before during and after. If you're in a committed relationship, ask your partner what she wants from you.

Stroke/play with her hair, hold the cheek while kissing, gently rub with the thumb. Hold chin (gently) while kissing. Look into her eyes (although some might think that is weird, so don't stare for too long.) Kiss along the neck and breasts but do so slowly. Long deep thrusts, hold the hip and pull her closer to you. Just kiss a lot on the mouth and body, and generally do everything slower. Whisper some pretty things in her ear. Stuff like that.

>>16961033
What's the difference?

>>16961236
i can't really tell. it feels like all i do is fuck, but never "make love". i assume that i mean gentler and slower sex.

>>16961232
we do that. mostly during foreplay and when cuddling afterwards. but i'm mainly asking about the actual penetrative part of sex. i mean, some slow and long strokes are mixed in too, yes. but it feels like all we are after is fast pace and hard, deep penetration. that's nice, ofc. but is is even POSSIBLE to reach an orgasm without that jackhammering? or does "making love" and "jackhammer thrusts" not exclude each other?

>>16961252
Why does it matter if you "make love" or just fuck? It's sex, do whatever gets you off. You don't have to be romantic when you're busting a nut, you have plenty for that before and after.

>>16961264
it would be a nice way to add variety. and i feel like it's weird to have sex like rabbits EVERYTIME. or am i absolutely overthinking?

>>16961252
Even if you are jackhammering it can be passionate. Or just use your fingers so you can adore her with your mouth, eyes and other hand. But if you and your lady likes it rough, why bother with trying to be romantic during the penetration?

>>16961268
Yeah, you're overthinking. If you're bored with your sex life try something different, otherwise just go with it. I don't see any issue in fucking like rabbits.

Sex is just... well fucking sex, it doesn't have to be romantic, diverse, intricate, whatever as long as you both enjoy it.

>>16961274
i'm actually female. and i feel like i'm sometimes a bit too much for my bf to handle. it might be just a dumb gut feeling, but i would really like to take down the pace a notch from time to time.

>>16961276
i would just like to make it feel more - intimate? a bit less hurried, and more relaxed and calm? just once in a blue moon. but i have no idea how to do that. hence my question.

>>16961277
You could just try being a little more passive and let him take the lead.

>>16961277
Then get on top and ride him, do it in your own pace while stroking his pecs/kissing him.

>>16961291
that sounds - boring. really? like just lay there? what?

"Having sex" is when you're trying to get off

"Making love" means you're sharing the experience with your partner, you want to make them feel good too, it's mental and emotional as well as physical.

It really has nothing to do with the speed of the thrusting, or the specific things you're doing in bed, or anything like that. It's all about attitude, intention, and how you feel about each other

>>16961293
i ride him all the time. it's one of our favorite positions. i do change pace when on top. but is that all that's to it?

>>16961300
thanks anon. you're probably right. i don't even know why i'm worried about this in the first place.

>>16961298
Well this way you can figure out if you really are "too much to handle" and you can see how he likes it. And yeah, that's how you tone it down, what else did you expect?

>>16961322
ok. i'll give it a try. well, i don't know. i guess it's time to go to bed. thanks anon

>>16961326

Nah you don't have to just lay there. Do what you would normally do, but just act like you're stuck moving in slow-motion. Communicate too, just tell him you want to make it more slow and gentle and romantic this time. Just do everything like 4x slower. Focus on really making the motions SMOOTH rather than hard and fast.

It feels fucking great once you get going, slow sex like this can actually be way more intense/pleasurable for me than hard 'n fast rutting, which can definitely be lots of fun too.

But as other posters have said, this is not where the distinction between "fucking" and "making love" is. That's all about you and your partner. But if you wanna change it up and take it slower, do it, it's fun

>>16961337
based advice anon. thanks so much. i'll remember it