Anyone else on here have body dysmorphia?
That would include anorexia, but I mean -- thinking you have a huge nose when no one else thinks so kind of thing.
How do you deal with it?
>>16958517
My best friend does. But I'm pretty damn sure he has BPD and made it up as a manipulation strategy at this point
>>16958526
What does he say is the problem?
I had it really really bad for about a year and a half but I realize I always had this tendency but it got to the point where I had legit hallucinations and stuff... I am interested how other people experience the disorder
>>16958526
NPD*
I was always super self conscious of my skin because it was pretty bad. People say it wasn't as bad as I said it was, but to me it was horrible. I couldn't look people in the eye. I wouldn't leave the house without a caked on face of thick foundation, which was kinda a vicious cycle and made my skin worse. I clawed holes in my face where there were new zits that wouldn't heal for weeks. No matter what I tried, the acne got worse. When I looked into a mirror it was all I saw. I ended up spiraling into a deep depression and almost killed myself. Yes, over bad skin.
I went on accutane last year and now my skin's completely clear, but there's still pretty visible scarring. I fixate on it a lot and I have no idea how bad it is because I was fucked up over my skin for so long, but I just force myself to go out bare faced most of the time anyway, even though I'm still really fucking insecure about it.
I was borderline anorexic for a long time too because of body dysmorphia. To this day if someone says I have a nice figure or that I'm "little" or something, I can't convince myself that they're not lying to me.
Dysmorphia sucks ass.
>>16958540
Wow.
Thats how mine got so bad.
I always had it like I used to think I was overweight to the point I worked out and lost so much weight I lost my period and when I gained back enough weight to get my period back I thought I was super fat and had panic attacks. I looked back on photos and I was thin by any account.
My skin got kind of bad during a period of stress and honestly again looking at photos and stuff it wasnt that bad. I don't have scar damage and it was never cystic but I went like literally insane. I thought everyone was whispering about me, I became a shut in, I spent money on all sorts of facial items, I spent my free time going to doctors who actually sent me home and said it isn't that bad I can't see it with makeup. Then it transformed into my hair after a weird comment from my mom and I went completely nuts. Like shut in for a year nuts. It took a loooong time to get over - I was just sitting brushing my hair and felt triggered because I was like wow its so long and thick... How did I ever get so crazy,
But some voice inside of me was still scared.
I don't hallucinate anymore but if I am under a lot of stress I do get very very paranoid in public and I have to exercise a lot of behavioral control techniques
Thanks for sharing honestly I sometimes feel pretty alone in it.
Also - I am just betting from the nature of the disorder your scarring isn't as bad as you think. Acne is so horrible too. I can totally understand wanting to kill yourself. I did some research and even dermatoloists in the late 19 early 20c said it was one of the most painful diseases. Few people understand!
>>16958538
Oh. Interesting.
I am sure there is overlap but who knows what those kind of people are really feeling inside
I'm a dude who is convinced that I'm disgustingly thin and lanky and no matter how much I eat and gym I never get any better. I'm also convinced that this is the reason that no women want me.
>>16958565
Oh man, I completely understand. I feel alone with it a lot of the time too. It's not something that many people really get.
I have to do the behavioral thing too, I get really bad panic attacks when I start fixating on things too much and I won't leave home for days on end because of silly little things that I know I shouldn't care about but I absolutely do. Plus I'm afraid of dating people because I don't want anyone looking at me closely
I forgot to mention my hair; I'm convinced that people can see my split ends and it looks gross, so I'm constantly pulling them out and brushing my hair. Also my lips- the accutane chaps them really bad and I'm constantly picking at them to "fix" them, which sort of works but makes them bleed a lot so eh.
I'm sorry you had to go through all that, I know how shitty it is
Pic related, my chin's where the scarring's the worst. It looks worse in natural light, but it's dark now so.
>>16958608
Oh and I deal with the negative feelings by counting my blessings often. Luckily I don't have to worry about getting fat as long as I keep hitting the gym and staying active.
>>16958608
Even if you are, a lot of girls like lanky guys. They're my fav haha.
>>16958637
That's the thing about the resulting self-esteem issues though, even if you say that I don't believe you. Even if I know that of course different people have different preferences I'm convinced that either women are just being nice when they say they like lanky or the number of women that are telling the truth about it is so small that it's effectively 0. I imagine it's the same as when someone might say you've got a nice figure or hair. There's that nagging feeling that they are lying to spare your feelings.
>>16958659
Yeah, I completely get that. I didn't really expect you to believe me, just thought I'd say.
(I'm not bullshitting though, it's a personal preference; I don't like a lot of muscles and strangers on the internet don't have much of a reason to lie)
