![l680kgU[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/IbYsE6o.jpg "l680kgU[1].jpg")
>be me
>friendless loser
>some days i just go to work, do shit by myself and go home. wonder why i even went to the office when i could have done everything at home
>overhear coworkers chatting all the time
>mostly about something funny they saw on snapchat/instagram or something that happened to them or a friend
>they're laughing and seem to be having fun
>they go get lunches and coffee together, talk about parties and bars they're going to, etc.
how do i become talkative, funny and have things to say?
![dpSqn35[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/cyYcsuE.jpg "dpSqn35[1].jpg")
You just have to do it
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>>16954737
but how?
![HN79d7x[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/TENJmji.jpg "HN79d7x[1].jpg")
![1458708595839[1].webm](https://i.imgur.com/fgo7Eo6.jpg "1458708595839[1].webm")
plz respond
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bump
Practice on people at, say, the old folks home where you volunteer.
>>16954647
Listen to the flow of the conversations of your coworkers. Often times a topic is brought up and can be discussed for quite a while. Once you've exhausted a topic, you can move on to a similar topic or bring up something entirely different.
Just practice anon, there's not much too it.
![k5q7hQm[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/RF7g9UJ.jpg "k5q7hQm[1].jpg")
>>16955274
i dont volunteer though (nothing meets my schedule, i work during the week and volunteer spots on the weekend are hard to get), how else can i practice
>>16955281
i don't know what to talk about. everyone always has some insight or story about a topic
Learn what personality type you have, sounds like INTJ. Learn about the other personality types soon you will be able to distinguish people by type. Adjust strategy to suit ur type and others. Some types love to be complimented, others like to be lead and have clear direction etc.
>>16956094
how do i find what types people are, and how they want to be treated?
i am INTJ, compliments are nice, but i don't care too much. i'm not much of a leader, so i guess that means i like to be lead. i don't know, it seems difficult to find out what others are like
It's all on wiki.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers%E2%80%93Briggs_Type_Indicator
Here are my personal observations
INTP sound people very like INTJ'S. Terrible time keepers, they tend to avoid decisions. High bullshit detector if a compliment is not genuine they will know.
ESTP center of attention people, very talkative will plow ahead with random ideas like lets go to seaside and get snowcones. Will fuck shit up and expect you to fix it. Tend to be users, use them back by blowing smoke up their ass to get ahead.
ESFP Gays, and bimbos who are looking for a script. Can not take any kind of criticism fun to be around but at the end of the day you don't matter to them.
ESTJ Bossy cunts. If there is a group of people at a party or something they will have organized it. Tend to not have any skill of their own and expect others to do their work for them. If you are of utility to a ESTJ you will get on well.
INFP Social justice warriors. Great fantasists live in a complete bubble. Avoid.
ENFJ The people who give social justice warriors ideas.
ENTJ The INTJ'S best friend.
ISTJ Another no nonsense type. Law and order types, Family values, tend to be religious. Don't trust them with big secrets they will rat you out to god, the state etc.
ENTP The ultimate trolls who are always looking to start arguments. They always have to be right, the only way to win is to ignore them.
ESFJ These are keeping up with the joneses people. Outward appearance is everything. You are better off talking about celebrity gossip and clothes to these people. Really worry about what others think about them. Male types tend to be muh dick bro types. Cant stand this type.
ISTP I know a few of these. Like INTJ's can talk about a hobby for hours. Tend to be the best at what they do. Love when you take an interest in them. You dont call them they call you sort of people.
>>16954647
It's basically impossible. Most of the time people talk about other people. If you have no friends, then you'll have nothing to talk about.
>>16957428
i've realized this too. it's always stories of things they've done, or things they know have done.
;_;
Why do you want to be talkative to make friends?
Just look for similarly observant and quiet people in the environment, you'll see not everyone needs to talk to "chill" together.
There are quiet people too you know, if you want to meet them you will talk to them, right? They never talk to you first.
>>16957506
because right now i'm not talkative and have no friends
and most guys i see are the talkative type
I've posted this before and many anons said that it was a good advice/story, so I'll post it again, short version.
When I was in med school, I used to be very shy and modest and never really talked to anyone. For some reason, my best friend was the most popular guy in the university. He used to talk and talk for hours and people literally grouped around him to hear him talk his bullshit.
So one day we had to do some practice work in a hospital. A nurse came to me and this buddy and she mistook us for actual medics. She asked for some help which we did and performed successfully even though we definitely weren't allowed to do (high end procedures). All went well, and no surprise, the next day at school this buddy talked for hours on end about what we did and how awesome and cool we are.
Of course, me being shy and quiet by nature I never bothered to tell anyone even though I had the same experience as my buddy. We were both there and both did the same thing. But my buddy chose to be loud about it and talked about it for, no exaggeration, years to come. Up until we finished med school he still brought our adventure up from time to time.
This is the difference between me and my buddy though. I haven't said anything about it so the next day and every day afterwards was the same as the previous. No one'll bother to come at you and ask you shit.
But my buddy, he chose to be loud as fuck about it and boasted, so people heard him. He made conversation happen just by existing.
-cont-
>>16957874
2/2
Not sure about you OP but this made me truly realize, for the first time, that "cool" people or the talkative ones are not in any way more interesting that introverted ones. They just chose to make a big deal out of every moment, and take your time to listen to your colleagues from time to time. They talk about the most irrelevant, inconsequential things ever. But they just do.
Try something next time will ya?
You feel like eating salad today? Fucking say it out loud to the next colleague. Just exercise this for a bit. Don't overthink it. Me and you, we both know no one gives a shit, but at the end of the day, people are fucking shit themselves. If you'd ever heard the shit my buddy talks to his gf with on the phone for HOURS and HOURS and tens of hours with no end in sight, you'd kill yourself.
But normal people just do it. Fucking talk about weather.
"Aw fuck man, I hate rain"
or fucking complain about work, people LOOOOOVE to complain
"shit man, this boss it making me angry"
"I know riiiight?"
"Yeah, like he's got a problem with me"
"yea I swear he hates me"
shit like that. Fuck man, I feel my brain shrinking. It's waste of energy and words, I fucking hate to talk to people, but that's what normal people do. They talk shit for ever about whatever comes to their minds.
Would you rather be me, who was quiet, or my buddy who boasted and was loud and proud and people listened to him, even though we both had the same experience?
>>16957428
>>16957476
Every year, every day, every conversation it becomes more apparent that being conversational, especially without anything to talk about, is almost impossible to learn this late in life.
I really should've concentrated on my studies when I was younger, literally the only thing I was good at. And I was smarter than most of my peers but that's not really an accomplishment living on a sink estate. Former sink estate now, slowly filling up with yuppies and hipsters making me look like a reject in my own area.
>>16957405
>tfw ISTJ and not religious
Stop becoming and just be. Stop thinking and just do.
>>16958047
what do you mean by this?
>>16958047
That's not really that helpful.
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>>16957985
What are your hobbies?
Talk to people with similar hobbies to yours and join groups etc.
People will love to talk to you if you genuinely love your hobby and not only pretending and not have shit taste, since such people are rarer to meet.
Basically talk to people who share your interests, are like you etc.
It might be hard to find them, but you have to look in the right places.
Also freindship doesnt start automatically, you also have to make advances and if they arent cunts and also click with you they'll inviye you too , and soon you'll crave for their company
>>16959906
>What are your hobbies?
i have none. there's a lot i want to do and learn
>learn a language, musical instrument, run a 5k in a respectable time, trading/investing, rock climbing, cooking/baking
but i usually spend the weekends doing nothing productive (except lifting really)
>>16959906
>What are your hobbies?
Aside from telly and vidya and a bit of reading nothing really.
>Talk to people with similar hobbies to yours and join groups etc.
I wouldn't know where to look.
There was a void of geek/nerd stuff in my area being a sink estate but apparently talking to a few people (and going to other boroughs) this is kind of unique.
![nTxPLSO[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/yZHamO6.jpg "nTxPLSO[1].jpg")
Varying versions of this thread keeps coming up and it never really gets solved, despite it being the underlying problem to most issues on /adv/.
>>16957405
This feels like bullshit. I can't honestly think whether I'm E or I. I always thought I was an 'I' but everyone around me tells me I'm 'E'.
INFP here. I'm really a quiet and reserved person so what I just did to become a bit more talkative is by hanging out with people. It doesn't really matter if you're not talking to them but please do even for a little bit. Like ask questions or whatever comes up when your group are having conversations. As you stay longer with them, the more you talk to them the talkative you become.
You can't become a person who becomes a talkative one easily. It takes time. You just have to start out small by having small talks with your group or asking simple things. It can be a certain topic, something needed for work, etc. Continue that and you'll naturally develop it just as how I did it.
I'm a really random person and I was able to develop that talkative attitude to the point where I just blurt out random shit and it suddenly becomes a conversation.
>>16956094
Agreed with this. I am an ENTP, and I used to have huge problems with my social skills because of a superiority complex that I used to have.
>>16956952
Sounds like an INTP. An INTJ would only like to be led under a competent leader, but they can generally take a leadership role if it's necessary.
>It seems difficult to tell what others are like
It's because it's based on conjecture. MBTI is meant to give you insight into the way that other people think, and people who usually tell you that it's bullshit generally have poor communication skills and take everything said about it literally. The fact that people generally describe each personality type like it's a joroscope doesn't help the argument for people that believe in them.
I use it to judge the way a person acts using my intuition, and it's right about 90% of the time, but everything I know is from anecdotal experience and intuition. It works though, I usually get what I want from relationships and people.
I believe in it, but I apply the knowledge in a different way than most people.
>>16960977
Do more research on what makes an introvert different from an extrovert. You can spend a lot of your time lost in thought but still be an extrovert. I'm an extrovert, but I used to think I was an introvert for a long time.
>>16961104
I feel like it's situational. Among people that behave like myself I'm always talkative, loud and dictate the pace of the conversation; while among people who spend months per year liking pics on instagram, I don't open my mouth.
>>16961114
You're an ENTP, and a lot like me in that sense. I don't like to surround myself with people like that because it's often extremely draining. Keep in mind that people like you, but you need to learn how to fake an interest in them and act as if you are. Most people see you as a little quirky, but they will often disregard your occasional disinterest and aloofness.
Other extroverts are very self-centered and basic, and I'm sure that you feel this way in the back of your mind. They are not focused on you, and you just need to find people who are more open minded than most and spend your time with them.
Learn to smile more. If you don't talk, smile, or look people in the eyes then people will get the impression that you hate them. I fake an interest in people and tell stories to break the ice and spend most of my time asking them about themselves. Sometimes it turns into real interest if I find that people have interesting stories to tell, even if I don't feel like I can compete with them intellectually.
>>16961114
Learn what to expect out of different people (don't talk about philosophy to someone that clearly does not understand and don't about your feelings to another socially awkward person), and learn how to listen and emphasize. Also ask questions about what people think of you and feel about you.
Smile and say hi to people, even if it seems a little weird to you. Basically just force yourself to do things that you normally wouldn't do and you will develop a personality.
Ask people about what they think of things and why they do them, etc.
