I don't really have much experience with relationships because I have always been very selective about the people I keep in my life. However, I've found a girl that I really connect with, and things have been going great every since.
The biggest thing that scares me is that I am now very worried about myself, because I am worried about her. I've never had much value for my own life, and thus I have taken great risks, many of which nearly ruined me, some that have put me where I am today (a good place). I'm 25 now, so I'm getting older, but I don't feel like it's time to settle down; I feel like this is where things really begin to take off to a whole new level.
However, as you can see, I worry that I sacrifice a bit of what makes me, well, me, when I have this girl who I love so fucking much in life. Can anyone help me frame this in a different, more positive way?
>>16952194
Do you view her as a limitation or something?
"very selective about the people I keep in my life" meaning you fucked and dumped a bunch of people as you hustled your way to the "top?"
Karma, bitch.
>>16952217
No, not at all. I care a lot about the people in my life; friends, family, significant others... I sometimes put them above myself. I don't know how to balance selfishness with selflessness, and it usually balances more in favor of the people around me. I haven't had a relationship since I was 19, but I have a very close group of friends that are like brothers and sisters to me.
>>16952208
In some way, yes. But in others ways, no.
>>16952227
Side note: you honestly seem like a standup guy.
In what way is she limiting your potential, and in what ways is not? Is there anything that you feel she help you reach your max potential in? What are your goals for this time in your life?
>>16952217
Now that I think about it, I think you misinterpreted what I meant by "risks". What I mean are financial and career risks, or hell, even just doing bad things to my body or making decisions that might get me killed (like jumping into a river from a cliff... just because). I don't mean taking risks with the people around me that could hurt them.
>>16952239
The above reason kind of frames it; I don't want to take big risks anymore because I worry about how some of those actions noted above could hurt her too. I suppose that I think twice now about risks that I otherwise would have taken before.
She does help me a lot in that she keeps me from doing certain self destructive habits that have lost me a lot of time in my life, and she puts me in a good mood, makes me happy, helps push me toward me goals... a lot of things. But at the same time, I feel like she is part of "me" now in some way, and thus, the way I look at all of the decisions in my life have just changed so much, and it honestly kind of scares me a bit.
>>16952258
Okay, so let's revisit the idea of goals; what's important to you? What do you want to achieve in the near future? It sounds like she's largely a constructive influence, and if there was a risk you wanted to take with her endorsement, I suspect that that'd be a positive experience for you.
