LDR
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
We've been doing long distance the last six months. I have traveled to see her about every two weeks, and so far she's only been home for christmas. It's fine, I have a part-time job, she doesn't (well not until last week) and she always appreciates that I come and visit.
Now she is coming home and bringing with her two of her friends from where she studies, and said we wont get much alone time, which is fine. I figured we'd all hang out together. We've talked about going to her fathers cabin all of us, but I didn't get the week off.
And now she's decided to go to her dads cabin without me, and without asking if I was okay with it. I got upset even if it was only for three nights. And said I would have liked it if she had asked me first.
She got defensive and said I was being selfish, that it wasn't my place to decide what she and her friends were going to do, after all she had to make her friends the priority. She's gonna hang back a week after her friends leave to stay with me, and then I am "all hers".
I don't know why but it hurts my feelings that she says she can't prioritize me, that I don't have a say. I feel like I have given so much, yet and get very little back. And now I'm considering if this is a relationship that I want to be in.
She doesn't really want to stay at her mom's place, which is the other option, because they don't get along that well, and the relationship is quite strained. But that doesn't change anything for me. We haven't seen each other for four weeks because my lack of funds.
Am I overreacting?
If this is a relationship that I don't want to be in, would it be wrong of me to break up with her while she is here at home, visiting with friends?
>Am I overreacting?
You do sound a bit clingy.
>She got defensive and said I was being selfish, that it wasn't my place to decide what she and her friends were going to do
true. I'd still be pissed, though.
Its well within your rights to want to be with her, and she's well within hers to prioritize her friends.
You might not like it, and you should voice your concerns, but do so remembering its her choice, in the end.
>And now I'm considering if this is a relationship that I want to be in.
THAT is the choice within your power to make.
It sounds like you need to cool down a bit. Once you have, think about what you want from the relationship. If you're not getting what you want, communicate that to her - again, remembering you're not entitled to her attention. Just define what's acceptable to YOU.
I hope things work out for you two
I know its a long read, but I truly want to fix this. It just feels like shes not willing to meet me halfways. Help me /adv/
>>16946587
It's clear that you aren't a priority, which is the wrong way to go about a LDR. You HAVE to make the other person a priority for it to work. She isn't putting forth the effort and instead chooses to shit on you when you express your feelings. It takes two people to make a LDR work and you've done all you can.
