For a few weeks now, I have been thinking, that I should break up with my girlfriend.
I love her a lot, that's not my issue, but I have mayor depression.
1-2 times a week, I think about suicide - well not actually suicide but the feeling that it will happen someday and how good it would feel to get rid of all my problems. I don't have any plan to actually do that but I can't vouch for my behaviour at the day, when all my problems are too heavy for my shoulders.
Also, my depression seems to be getting stronger lately and it is messing with my work.
Now I don't want to be a burden to my girlfriend, I probably won't be able to give her the life she deserves. I believe that on the long run, I will do her no good.
Even though I am already mid 20, I don't feel like an adult. More like avoiding all responsibilty by blaming my depression for everything. I just don't know how to get out of depression and be a normal person.
I tried to get a therapy, but they keep telling me that they have no free slots. I live in a small city and there are like 2 therapists only.
Anyway, have you guys been in this situation before?
Isn't it the right thing to give up y own happiness to make sure I won't drag down the person I love?
What do?
Same bruh. Wanna suicide, but not really, just want my problems to go away. Also have a GF that I don't want to stress with my problemos.
Tell her and listen to what she has to say about the situation. This isn't fair to her, honestly.
Her happiness may depend on you.
>>16925833
>Same bruh. Wanna suicide, but not really, just want my problems to go away. Also have a GF that I don't want to stress with my problemos.
Op here. Kept getting connection error. What r ur problems :/
>>16925844
>Tell her and listen to what she has to say about the situation. This isn't fair to her, honestly.
>Her happiness may depend on you.
Then she will worry all the time about me. I kinda hope to get through the depression
>>16925875
Life feels meaningless. I dropped out of college and I'm working a decent job that pays the bills, but not enough to have fun. But I don't think a higher paying job would make my life better.
I think i just have a deep sadness inside of me that can't be healed by anyone caring for or loving me.
My girlfriend is great, but my parents neglected and abused me as a child and i just feel so empty and alone. I can ignore it and function fine from day to day, but i dont feel that I'll ever be satisfied with life.
>>16925913
Sounds similiar to my life. I messed up my studies because I couldn't take the exams because of anxiety and because I lost my will of life.
I still study. 2 years (engineering) then uit now 2 years computer science and going to fail this because I dont take the exams even though I do teach other studies what the need to now (tutor) in courses that I never finished myself.
My father went to jail when I was a kid he robbed a bank, tortured and abused a guy, watched porn with me and my bro (m bro is taking anti depression meds and doesnt talk anymore :().
Thats probably why I am so afraid of getting into jail mysef even though I (except for my debts and being unresponsive) dont do anything bad.
I work as a freelancer and make good money with it, i could even save enugh to do fun things, if i would pay off my debts and would start communicating with my clients regularly.
But I cant. I'm scared endlessly about negative response since new year.
My rating on that freelance site went down from 100% top rated to like 80% now.
I'm ruining my job and the chance to payy off every cent i owe people.
>>16925948
Let's just kill each other.
I remember in third grade me and my friend were riding bicycles, and he went to this churc, and for some reason a lot of very unfortunate people went to this church. He told me about a lady who asked the church to pray for her. She had two sons, brothers, who put guns to each others heads and pulled the triggers simultaneously.
I haven't thought about that in years, but looking back it seems kind of poetic.
>>16925968
The problem with this is, that I probably don't really want to die, but to change my life.
It is just a thought that comes up every now and then to give me some false feeling of safety.
I just don't know if the thought of this will someday turn into an actual attempt to end it.I think everything is possible.
The question right now is just,
break up with my girlfriend to save her all the problems that come along when being together with a heavily depessive person
Or to try once again to get out of depression without knowing if it will work at all and not telling her about my problems.
The third option would be to tell her about the depression and trying to get out of it. But I have been through that with an ex gf of mine too and I am not sure if I want her to constantly worry about me.
