no /vent/ thread? I needto vent so hard right now
I'll do it in a reply though, to keep it generic
I want to fuck a MILF/MILFlike very badly, but I know that's impossible. However, I dream of it, and I wish sincerely for it to become reality.
I rolled the dice today
Three days until I'll actually see how the roll turned out
The anticipation is killing me
FOR FUCK SAKES
I've no empathy and my mom confronted me telling me that we, her sons, don't treat her like a mother anymore and that we barely talk to her and shit.
Bassically, she's asking for me to give her love, when i grew up largely by myself and my friends(psychologicaly, i mean, obviously), and the lack of empathy doesn't help at all. Trying to act like i really care about her, besides giving her the respect she deserves for being my mother, almost hurts my physically.
My mother is a 60yo lady seeking for my affection and i can't give anything in return.
Welp.
>>16921606
She probably hates you, too. You being a sociopath and all.
>>16921606
Your friends probably don't like you much, either.
>>16921637
Sociopath? Nah, just narcicist, i still need affection.
>>16921645
Get the affection while you're still young (presumably) Narcissists are even worse than sociopaths because they tend not to kill themselves.
>>16921644
They do, actually, but i'm not very out-going. I also don't go telling people around me that i've no empathy, i just hide it by making people think i don't have a mental filter on what i say, which a lot of people find funny, for some reason.
>>16921650
Sociopaths become CEOs and politicians senpai
>>16921652
because you know what your friends are saying about you at all times. Them being the ones that "raised" you psychologically you are probably on the same psychic plane.
I've said this on a thread before but it's been my experience that people who talk about how many great friends they have usually either have no (real) friends at all and the ones they have don't like them as much as they think they do.
>>16921606
quit being a little bitch. seriously? are you 12
>>16921655
True, but people hate them and they are going to hell when they die.
>>16921667
this. See? Even here on 4chan no one likes you.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK JUST
>>16921666
There's only 2 people i consider true friends, and they've told plenty of times when i do some shit they think is wrong.
Don't misunderstand me, while i'm kind of a narcissist and lack empathy, i'm not an asshole to people. Gotta keep the appearances m8.
>>16921672
Everyone hates everyone in here, but it's not like we can leave.
I wish I could be nicer to my mom but I cant because she's scheming and always suspicious. they all are except my boyfriend.
>>16921393
Since /r9k/ is slow as fuck...
Been thinking about offing myself a lot lately. Work a job I hate, anxious and depressed as fuck, completely aware of the fact I will never change, and so on.
I'm going to be shooting with my dad soon in the next month or 2. I think I'll do it then.
Anons, I have it a question: Regardless of everything I posted above, is it going too far in that I want to get rid of anything that could cause someone to remember me? Like nothing. No Facebook picture, no family photos, nothing. I just want it to be over with and for them to put me in a hole. Or better yet, cremate me and never speak of my existence again. Anyone have any ideas as to why of all things regarding suicide, this is the 1 thing I care about most?
lol, the fuck is going on in this thread?
you people have no idea what narcissism and sociopathy are or the indicators. you're also not even self aware enough to realize that by the act of feeling bad enough that you're posting here that you don't feel too strongly about your mother, you're demonstrating empathy.
fucking armchair psychologists. YOU GET A DIAGNOSIS AND YOU GET A DIAGNOSIS AND YOU GET A DIAGNOSIS FOR A SEVERE (AND ACTUALLY RARE) MENTAL PROBLEM!
>>16921739
Actually, i'm a psychology student, and i have 5 of the 5 symptons needed to be diagnosed narcissism, even if in a lower scale.
>. you're also not even self aware enough to realize that by the act of feeling bad enough that you're posting here that you don't feel too strongly about your mother, you're demonstrating empathy.
Yeah, i thought about that, but from what i learned about empathy, i'm supposed to share the feelings of the other person when they tell me something bad happened to them, but i just feel curiosity to know what happened and how they handled it instead. This time, i'm feeling bad about my mother because i feel that, if i don't find a way to fix this, shit will probably get ugly in some way.
I accidentally said yes to a date on saturday with a girl i'm not that into. We had one date after texting each other for weeks and i can tell we don't have anything in common. I'm debating between just going and blowing $22-$30 out of money I don't have, and lying to her tomorrow so I can stay in bed this weekend.
I mean we keep using the word "hang out" so maybe it's presumptuous for me to say it's a date, but we met on Tinder so that what I assumed it was. If she felt the same vibe and just wanted to be friends then cool. If not, then I feel like i'm stringing her along by not saying anything.
>>16921757
dude, I have the 5 signs of narcissism. you know what I get from reading the list of symptoms?
don't strive to be the best or be surrounded by the best. don't dream big. do so and you'll be labled crazy and a problematic person. and god forbid if you don't put everyone else before yourself.
I see your problems, I understand them, I can't do anything about them right now so I'm on me. and I do have some traits that make me a bit different and I've demonstrated my ability on many occasions. I do expect recognition of my abilities because they are there and I've used them to make massive amounts of money for other people and progress in my life at a pace that impresses anyone that knows where I was not to long ago.
I'm not a narcissist, I'm a capable, very intelligent person that is striving for the best; not because I feel entitled to it, but because that's what I want.
and I'm tired of people like me diagnosing themselves with narcissism, putting themselves down and tempering their ability and ambition, or letting other people tell them they're terrible people for having issues accepting mediocrity or results that drastically differ from what they want in life. I don't need to accept a low ball offer from life, thats not entitlement.
true narcissism isn't as common as people think. neither is sociopathy.
another point, empathy isn't like "this person is sad, I'm so sad" like physically feeling their feelings. thats retarded, we as a species don't possess telepathy. empathy is understanding where that person is coming from and when applicable wanting to help.
to be frank you seem to say that your mother really wasn't there when you were a kid, you're fine not being super close. unfortunately that's how it is. she can't expect a loose family to suddenly be tight knit cause she wants it to be. you can work on it if you want but it's not some requirement. empathy is understanding the other person, doesn't obligate you to any action.
Vent thread got derailed fast.
Man, it's 4am and I've been working since 4pm yesterday. It's a terrible job that I'm over-qualified for and yet I'm underqualified/inexperienced for anything else.
Oh and I'm a 26KV with few friends, if I can even call them that.
>>16921805
as far as like other people having problems? asking what happened and how they're handling it is incredibly normal. I can't even begin to understand how you think that's weird.
like if someone else is crying you don't need to feel sad about something that isn't your problem and that you are removed from. that would make you weird/crazy.
>>16921793
take advantage while you can. You are at a better position than many of us, who can't score a date for shit
Truthfully the reason I'm slow to respond lately is because I gave up on the last shred of hope that I might get to motorboat your tits someday.
Turns out you're super uninteresting when that's no longer on the table.
Recently I found that I'm asexual. I can't keep a relationship because I never want to fuck. Since I don't want to fuck, the girls I'm with feel unloved, ugly, and unwanted which couldn't be further from the truth. Whenever we did fuck, they could tell that my heart wasn't in it.
I tried finding other asexuals to date online but they're mostly just sperglords who have resigned themselves to the fact that nobody wants them, underaged, or a special snowflake that wants a label.
The fuck do I do, /adv/?
>>16921805
>>16921828
I just wanted to say that i don't let people hinder me from making progress or having ambitions, the only hindering anyone is doing here is my own by being a procrastinating shithead.
Either way, i know you're right, but from everything she told me, being our mother was the only thing that kept her going, since she complained about everything else due to dedicating most of her life to everyone else. And why the hell should i live with that on my conscience, it was her that didn't do what she wanted because she put someone else's opinion about it above her own desires.
And that's the kind of shit that goes into my mind at that moment, but of course i don't tell her that because i'm not an asshole.
Also, when people tell me their stuff, i'm mostly thinking about something else but giving them enough attention to make a conversation, and i always justify my actions, even if they seem selfless, in some egoistic way that benefits myself. Hence why i considered that i don't have empathy.
I really need to seek professional help.
Damn you, life and your ironies!
>>16921819
>Vent thread got derailed fast.
Don't worry, it should be back on track now.
I got drunk with some friends. My gay friend came out to me, flopped around about feeling disgusting and pathetic and lonely, then asked me if I wanted to experiment. I already knew he was gay, I know I'm not, and then he spent the rest of the time saying he loved me and knew I loved him. I'm unnerved because while I feel camaraderie for him, I'm not sure if he was implying I romantically love him and am suppressing it.
Last month it was confirmed a high school teacher tried to set me up with his autistic kid years ago. I felt kind of violated about it since I trusted the teacher, and it really fucked with me for a couple days until I finally had a nightmare and purged it in writing. I don't even want to know how my current situation will fuck with my psyche.
You're all faggots. Faggots, I tell you.
This is going to drive me mad
God damn I see exactly how this can completely backfire on me but I've already committed
At least after this I'll know what you think we are
>>16921393
You expect me to sit through your two-hour concert several times a year without a SINGLE distraction, but you can't be bothered to read not even a page of my writing because it's too damn boring. Fuck you, I have passions too.
I still can't get it together, I am a fucking loser who has no association with anyone. No friends, no life, just work & school. I might as well be a ghost, my job is solitary since its inventory for a small company.
Most my time I am filling in orders counting what they have and spreadsheets. The only people I talk to are my supervisor, my teacher & my parents. Beyond that I am stuck in a loop of constant isolation just wishing to talk to someone.
I tried going to an anime movie premier today I wanted to get my mind off of my soul crippling loneliness through the escapism of motion pictures. As I am waiting for the film looking at the audience overhearing the chatter it hit home how alone I am. Even the neckbeards and dykes have some skinny semi attractive girl they conned into dating or they truly found a mate either way they have someone. Now here I am like a loser jealous of the fact they have someone and I am sitting by myself masking it with a neutral expression. Then it hit me I realized there has to be something about my looks or my personality that causes people to avoid me. Even the ones who were not with girls had friends they were with. I am getting used to accepting my fate. Lets face it I am in a new city and my real friends are 2 to 3 hours away so seeing them is a trek I can barely do.
I just want to meet new people close to me. I can't live like this. The last time I talked to someone my age at my Uni was in January. Beyond that I am mostly sitting and crying in my room about how hopelessly cutoff I am in this god forsaken town with nobody to experience anything with.
This seclusion has made me into a recluse who only has two tasks work and school. I want to talk to someone fucking anyone. I don't want to commit suicide but I am pretty damn depressed about all this. As the saying goes you get nothing and you'll like it. I just need to accept it and pretend that it isnt bothering me.
I am angry at myself for letting my life go to shit for a second time. But it might still be salvageable. Or fuck, it has to be. If I fail at this again I will likely end up killing myself because I probably won't be able to deal with the shame. It's not what I'm planning to do, but I'm afraid that's how it will play out. I don't want to end my life. But some days I just can't handle the feelings I have. I feel so incredibly violent towards myself, knowing I need to be punished for what I've turned into and all the squandered opportunities and resources. People tell me I'm not a burden but that's a fucking lie. Just because they'd rather have you alive than dead doesn't mean you aren't a burden. It just means you're a burden who would be an even bigger asshole if you ended up offing yourself.
I'm going to see someone who's supposed to help me tomorrow. I know it's pointless already. The only thing I'm truly good at in life is lying convincingly. It's what got me so far the first time without anyone noticing everything had fallen apart ages ago. I'm able to convince people that I'm getting better and everything is alright, even when I want to tell them the truth, because I'm too afraid of letting them close to me and I can't deal seeing the face of someone who is sad for me or is disappointed in me. If there is a god and that god suddenly took away my ability to lie, so I had to tell the truth 24/7, I'd probably fucking implode. I don't know how to start being honest when I talk. Typing lets me be honest. But talking is just a bunch of bullshit to placate everyone else.
I'm so sorry to everyone in my life. I'm sorry for being such a wreck and deceiving you. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I only wanted you all to be happy. I'm sorry I could never make you proud. I wish I could. It's just not in me. I'm so sorry.
I'm 21 and just broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years from highschool earlier today. We were on mutual terms but we were just doing different places in our lives.
While I'm sad AF I'm also happy and glad in a way that I got to experience that relationship for as long as I did. I went to the gym and for a run today and while I feel poignant that chapter of my life is over I'm nervous and excited to see what the future will hold.
I think I'm holding up pretty shabby for my first real breakup.
This girl I fell for hard might be a psychopath. I'm not going on anything except my own paranoid tendencies.
I was almost in a relationship with one of my friends two years ago and I'm still not over it. Nobody else has ever been attracted to me, not even just romantically, and I think that's why I was holding on to the hope of dating this girl so strongly. We were a perfect match and I still can't believe I let my one shot at happiness go. I tried a while to find someone else to cover the pain with, I dabbled in online dating and went to fan meetups even just to find some real life friends but nobody ever liked me enough to care about me so I ended up giving up. I feel lonely and isolated and like nothing will ever change.
To make things worse, a few days ago a friend of mine revealed to me that she had been emotionally and sexually abused by the person who almost dated me. I am beyond disgusted by myself because a part of me wishes this person had abused me too so that I would have a reason to still not be over them.
>>16922059
It's okay anon, you seem to be doing okay. People can grow apart, even with those you're closest too.
Take one step at a time and focus on your future.
Good luck!
You've hurt me so much, yet I still have the softest spot in my heart for you.
I drove home drunk tonight.
I'm starved for affection.
All I want is affection. From you.
>>16922214
I miss you
>>16922027
>Even the neckbeards and dykes have some skinny semi attractive girl they conned into dating or they truly found a mate either way they have someone. Now here I am like a loser jealous of the fact they have someone and I am sitting by myself masking it with a neutral expression.
Sorta noticed that in the last few years, geek groups composed of regular people. I remember when shitty webcomics and gaming forums back in 2000 something were getting annoyed the appearance of "casuals", I remember being baffled by it. Now I suspect they were jealous of regular people playing games and having a life outside of it.
I know I am.
Several people have told me to "be careful" of you. I'm not kidding. You're being that weird.
I sent this guy with related interests a DM on twitter about six months ago. We talked for a good half hour over instant messaging about all sorts of stuff, and he seemed interesting, and a fun person. By the end of the conversation, I guess I got a little desparate and I said "hey, if you want, add me on skype, you seem like a cool person. Maybe we could meet up at [x event he said he might go to] if you end up going too."
All of a sudden all contact ceased. No replies. I message him again around two hours later, "sorry if that was weird," or something to that extent. No replies.
A month later I basically come clean. "Sorry if I seemed desperate or whatever in our last conversation. I don't care if you never message me again, after this I just want some closure." No replies.
Five months later. It's not a daily occurrence, but from week to week it still pops into my mind. I feel crazy embarrassed. I have never thought of myself to be socially autistic, and I don't even think what I initially said was that bad. But when someone cuts off all contact just due to that I start questioning everything I know. "Am I really that autistic? Am I that socially retarded that any attempt at making a friendship will result in them cutting me off?"
Fuck no. Fuck that. I didn't do anything wrong. Maybe I was a little overzealous but I don't have to apologize for that. I seriously don't care if you already have enough friends, that's cool. Just don't be as inconsiderate as to give me the silent treatment. That's just a dick move.
I won't message him again because I realize I'd just be a nuisance at that point, but I do want some closure, so I thought I'd do it here. So this is putting an end to this episode of stupid shit that I keep thinking about.
Jfc you are a nightmare.
If you'd portioned the food out properly, that would have fed you for the fucking week. Two days and you've eaten everything you stupid fat peice of shit. You're asking me for food money when I haven't even got enough money for a ticket home, let alone money to pay off the loans, electricity and phone bill. It's all your fucking fault you fucking drug addict, I know you pawned my jewelry just like you pawned my laptop, psp and playstation and probably a majority of my tools too. Like where the fuck is my jump start kit? My heat gun? My loupe? FUCK YOU you peice of SHIT. The only reason I am acting so nice to you is to make sure you don't destroy the house in anger by me kicking you out while I'm away.
It's like I'm stuck in purgatory.
But with only two different kinds of hell to choose from;
One I love and can't live without, but that's destroying me.
And one I hate, don't want to live in, but need to live in for my own good.
The worst part is that I have ambivalence about both. I really, really don't want to leave the former, even though I know I desperately need to.
But I really, really don't want to choose the latter, because it's not the former, and it will never be like the former.
The only heaven here for me is the literal 'heaven'. That just seems like the best option for everyone.
Im a pedophile and i like to ride busses and go to parks and suoer markets just to stare at and occasionally talk to cute little girls
I wish I wasn't so horny and that a lot of married/attached girls weren't hitting on me (am guy).
I want to 100% commit to my goals as of today, no excuses. I want to be able to start a lot of new habits at a time, and be able to continue them. Making at least 1million p/a in a year, being fit and doing something worthwhile for the whole world.
I want to KNOW what I want.
Tim
>>16922493
maybe seek some help in managing finances? Get some sort of accountability friend and read up a bit on budgeting - I just budgeted today and figured out that there is a lot of unnecessary stuff I spend on - and I actually have a lot left over after necessities - for some reason I just spend it all - due to a incoming massive debt due to a car crash (10's of thousands - not sure of the total figure yet), I will have to be cutting back on everything and maybe paying off this my whole life.
Good luck and I believe in u.
I've been dating a girl for a year now and I do like her a lot, but I still feel like she is a source of stress and anxiety to me.
I know Im a sort of an introvert and I do like spending weeks at a time on my own, only talking to my online friends and such. Thats when Im most productive and frankly, when Im the happiest.
My girlfriend wants to see atleast once a week and its very rare of me to get even a week on my own. I figured that if its someone like her, a person who Im comfortable with and like, it would be different, but she still makes me feel really anxious over time and just having another person around too much is like a constant stress generator. It just keeps growing slowly from the moment I have another person around me. I do enjoy her company, but I just cant seem to be close to people for too long and the more they hang around, the more I need time on my own. When she was over for two weeks traight, I went prettymuch underground for a month. Lied that I had some really important stuff to do and couldnt spare any time. It seemed to be really hard on her so I eventually had to force myself out of my cave.
It was like this with a previous gf of mine who ended up cheating on me and blamed me for not caring about her.
Maybe Im just not made for this dating game, I should just accept the fact that Im the kind of a person who is not meant to be with another person. Focus on being happy on my own and not care about the ocasional tfw no gf feelings.
I really hope my psychologist can provide some sort of insight tomorrow as to what I should/need to do, because I just have no fucking idea.
The only solution I have right now (and have had for months) is to just kill myself. It's guaranteed to solve everything. Or at least make it easier for me because then I won't have to deal with everything, with anything. It just seems better that way.
And I don't really know what to make of me wanting to/believing I should do that.
I KEEP SWEATING FROM THE SOLES OF MY FEET AND ITS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA SLIP ON MYSELF ONE DAY AND GET A CONCUSSION OR SOMETHING.
FUCK
EVEN MY HANDS DON'T PRODUCE THIS MUCH SWEAT.
I want to have a baby and get married. I want to have it with the girl I love.
But I'm not done travelling, plus she is convinced she cant get pregnant.
Having cum in her 1000+ times, without one scare, maybe she's right.
I don't know how to sort these thoughts out, especially when we're on and off again constantly.
There's to many thoughts about this and her that I can't separate. I'm going crazy.
Had three days off work sick.
Told them about my migraines, how I've been struggling to breathe. Coughing up and vomiting. Dizzy spells.
During my first day off, they had already called me for a workplace visit so they called talk.
That's 1 day off sick, and I don't have a pattern of being off sick very much at all.
Two days later, they try to arrange it again. I have a colleague I carshare with, WHO I TOLD THAT I WAS TOO SICK, calling me asking me for a lift even after I told them I couldn't.
Now, I can't quite remember if it's the law, or the company policy, but we're supposed to get up to 5 days off sick before having to come in for a meeting about it. I've had three, and haven't even had a chance to rest.
I'm still coughing up, still getting dizzy after walking up a flight of stairs. Still struggling to breathe. I'm going back in today.
I'll have a union rep there. I'll tell them I'm still sick and that I've only came in because the constant phone calls were stressing me out worse.
They'll write it down. I'll sign.
They won't realise it's basically a confession that they harrassed a man who's having trouble breathing, who's arranged a doctors appointment about it, into a dustiest fucking warehouse ever.
If I have an accident, it's on them.
>>16921731
>Been thinking about offing myself a lot lately. Work a job I hate, anxious and depressed as fuck, completely aware of the fact I will never change, and so on.
I know that feel. Been looking at career changed but all I think about is that it's just gonna be same shit, different location. They'll talk big on health and safety yet set unrealistic rates sky-high, enforce them and knowingly force you and other colleagues to cut corners.
They'll get in you're way each and every time, making your job just a little bit harder over and over again until the job is nothing like it once was.
I just wanna work. But a million bureaucratic, admistrators and managers always have just one more bit of paperwork to sign, one more bit of your soul to take (the implication that they're the devil) and want that little bit more from you until you've got nothin' left.
I could suck a thousand dicks a day for less money than I'm on now and still walk away with more self respect and dignity than working for ASDA.
>Anons, I have it a question: Regardless of everything I posted above, is it going too far in that I want to get rid of anything that could cause someone to remember me? Like nothing. No Facebook picture, no family photos, nothing. I just want it to be over with and for them to put me in a hole. Or better yet, cremate me and never speak of my existence again. Anyone have any ideas as to why of all things regarding suicide, this is the 1 thing I care about most?
Because death aint enough. If you're dead, people still remember you, the cringey shit you did. They'll still be talk of you, questions as to why you did what you did.
You don't want death, because death means you still existed.
That's what you want - non-existence. You want to be forgotten.
It's what I want too.
>>16922867
Why don't you travel together? Why not travel for a bit together, then get married and try for a baby? Or, get married first and then travel, then when you're done you can try for a kid?
Depending on both your ages, and especially on the fact that she's convinced she can't have kids, you should probably figure out why she can't get pregnant, if she actually can't. It's better to do this while you can and while you're not yet caught up in marriage and/or travel plans. Plus, a trip to the doctor can't really do any harm, and it could even be you who is infertile.
There's always adoption too, if one or both of you are infertile.
>>16922947
I know I'm not infertile, I've had pregnancies with other women, terminated or miscarriages, it's not me.
as for travel, she's not in a place to travel with me. She has a lot of personal issues that need to be dealt with first and it's going to take some time.
Plus as far as marriage is concerned, we've discussed it, but we're constantly on and off again so I guess neither of us can commit to it, but I do want it.
It's all a storm of mixed emotions and second guessing when it comes to all these problems.
I want it all one day and know it can work, then other days I cant possibly see how any of it can happen.
I'm so confused over how to make the next step ofr both of us, for our lives.
>>16922953
You weren't infertile then but you could be now, I'd advise getting it checked out just in case, it's not hard (no pun intended).
Problems don't disappear overnight, you even said
>it's going to take some time
Not only does it take time, it takes hard work and effort. On both parts if you love her and want to help her, and especially if any of the issues are within or are derived from your relationship.
By the sound of it, I'd say at least a couple of her issues are from the relationship, especially if it's an on and off relationship. That can cause a lot of insecurity and self worth problems, especially if she already has personal issues to deal with.
>it's all a storm of mixed emotions and second guessing
I'd say you probably have some insecurity issues too, even if you don't realize it.
Has she ever been to therapy or tried any medications? Have you ever been to therapy?
If she hasn't, you should really try to encourage her, even if you explain that it could help not only her, which is most important, but also her future and your relationship, the future of your relationship, and it could help you. Try going with her, if she's okay with it. If you need to go to therapy too, then lead by example and go first, she could even see that as a sign of your commitment and willingness to help your relationship.
>constantly on and off
How long have you been dating? Why are you on and off?
Is being on and off a mutual thing, or is it fairly one sided and the other just rolls with it? Have either of you ever been unfaithful or have loyalty issues?
The best advice I can give, is that if you really love this girl and can see a future with her, despite the (more than likely) fixable issues you're facing, then work towards fixing said issues.
Real love only comes once anon, it's all a chance and a risk. But if you believe she, and a future with her, are worth it, then make it happen.
>>16922934
Most people are too dead to care at that point.
I'd rather be dead than deal with this.
>>16923176
glad to know I mean so much to you :(
I love you, M.
You're fucked up, and you probably will never care about me half as much as I care about you, but it doesn't matter.
I love your mind, your sense of humour, your sweet smile and the way you hold me at night.
I found out that my girlfriend slept with another guy while her and I were first talking, after our second date but before our third (which was when we first had sex). These two had a past, they were kind of casual fwb. Deep down I know the best thing for me is to drop her, she has lied about other sexual things in her past, and this one was icing on the cake. Even though I know our relationship won't last I can not stand to break up with her or imagine the possibility of her being with anybody else. I feel like some weak-willed beta faggot for staying with her. I know she is crazy for me and has not cheated on me (we moved in together pretty quickly), and even though we hadn't even kissed when she slept with this guy I am still so fucking pissed off that it happened.
I wish that my libido would dissappear or at least tone it down quite a bit, thinking with my dick really annoys me, when all i want to do is science shit. I don't mind staring at unknown women, but i really hate it when i can't help but look at my female friends's tits and/or asses.
Fucking testosterone.
Why should I even bother? I already know he won't love me.
So it looks like you would rather destroy yourself than give me one ounce of respect.
Bitch, you are going down because every night I make more friends near your circle that hate you. lol… you really do think you're going to win over me? Shit, the only people who have your back now are closet fags hoping you'll let them blow you. And maybe a couple of brain-dead cunts who let you fuck their ass without lube.
I'm super lonely
Anyone talk to me
well done, you've destroyed my self esteem, my life, my hopes, happiness, my future and tried to cover it with praise for me, only to tell me you've been cheating on me since we've been getting together and tell me it's not a problem? As if you ever gave a fuck about me?
I'm out
jesus christ should I write to him? And suppose for a second it's not you reading this i'm referring to.
Why the fuck should I write to him
Stop fucking lying
.i mean you could just tell me what's going on in that respect
And we can all get on with our lives and find what we need
Oh I get it, it's just a game of toy soldiers to you, no?
>>16923937
Write to him and tell him how you feel. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
>>16924055
Agreed. I did
It kind of fucked me up
Still I'm glad I did
Who knows how he feels about it though!
>>16924083
Good luck.
I hope it goes better than when I wrote to my special person.
Also post update if he responds :)
>>16924093
Indeed! I've asked him to respond directly
Not via "social" media
Who knows!?
When are we getting the fuck out of here then?
"we're looking to hire someone with 3+ year experience in the field"
Where do companies expect people to get experience when everyone's asking for people with experience??? Tired of this shit
>>16924083
why the fuck you lying you slut, I'm the one who wrote the original post.
and yes i also wrote to him.
>>16924284
I think you misunderstood. No need to call me a slut.
I said 'Agreed' As in I agree you should write to him and 'i did' Because I did write to him (my love)
chill. And Good luck
yesterday i chatted with 4 different people over the net
today theres no one
and yet i still feel sad
>>16924298
Sorry love im kinda touchy tonight cause ive been drinking. you sound great though, sending love to ya
I feel like a lovesick teenager. I miss him so much. Even though it hurts, I know I made the right decision, and this will pass, but.. It's really hard to stop myself from contacting him. I must be strong and make the practical choice, not an emotionally-driven one. Oh god, I miss you so much!
>>16924414
He misses you too :(
Emotions are everything to me
I didn't feel them for awhile
When I did again, they were all I wanted, they're undervalued. and to be trusted more
Not everyone marries out of expectation
Lately I fail at everything I do. I'm also having "babbies first existential crisis" as /his/ would describe it.
I don't know what to do, I want to live a life worth living, I just have no idea how to do that.
Man, at what point in this crappy life does anything improve? I'm 26 and it's just been a downhill slide from almost the beginning. No friends, shitty job, living in an area that constantly reminds you how poor and isolated you are.
there it is again, that "you have no idea what you're talking about" look cause I'm young doing this shit. dude I have shown multiple times now that I know more about the legal and administrative bullshit required to do business in this state than most I've talked to thus far. don't make me push, people get uncomfortable and insecure when I start pushing. you will give me the one document I need to close this deal, you will take my money, you will fucking like the deal, you will not cause me more problems. I have worked too hard and lost too much sleep on the paperwork for this over the last couple weeks for you to blow this by refusing to release a completely innocuous document because "we're not comfortable with that". I can do literally nothing except pay you with that document you thick motherfuckers.
Seeing this girl I like for probably the last time tomorrow. She knows I'm into her but I'm too reluectant to say anything since my last relationship ended because we drifted apart geographically.
She'll probably be saying bye to her friends anyway, it'll feel weird for me to just go and ask her out there and then. Life goes on I suppose.
>>16924980
If you love her
Do it
Life's too short to not be with the person that loves you too
Life is so weird.
We go from loving each other and picturing the rest of our lives with each other to pretending we don't exist. I don't know how you feel right now and maybe that's for the best. Its odd. I don't know if meeting you months or years down the line would be good for me or not.
My new job is odd and the older people I work with make me either feel smart or like I'm wasting my life. They go from depressing one second to inspirational the next. I don't think I can make it to their age and the only reason I would want to is to write about it. Why?
I talked on the phone with a good friend for two hours, but its a shame we only hear from each other when one or both of us are having issues. At least both of us had issues this time so I didn't feel completely selfish. If she wasn't such a good friend I'd probably love her. I never pictured that the friends that are here for me today are the ones that stuck around compared to the others.
My new friend is a lot of fun even if he's flaky. I didn't imagine I'd connect to anyone as fast as I connected with this guy and he's really helping me adapt and look at the positives. He doesn't mind when I bitch, we can bullshit about music, and he's about as honest as me (as far as I can tell).
I miss my home state, I miss the mountains a lot. Sometimes its unbearable how much I miss it all. I would see you and we probably wouldn't have broken up, I could see my good friend and we could drink and laugh like we used to with her boyfriend while we all talked about old times. I could even see my antisocial friend and see how different he looks now, because I know he does. But if I never left the state, or if I went back, I would be leaving behind my new job where I feel like I learn about myself every day, and my new friend who could easily be as good of a friend as my friends back home.
Like I said, life is weird. But I guess I'm content right now as long as I look ahead and not backward. Goodnight everyone.
>>16924414
Contact me. I'm dying to talk to you.
My girlfriend is a fat fuck and wants to be pro-fat like some fat-acceptance social justice warrior. I'm a fat fuck and hate it, and want to change it, but I'm lazy, and cookies taste too good. My willpower is much less than my desire for sweets. I'm afraid I might be developing diabetes. I still live with my mom, and she buys these sweets claiming they're for her, but if I leave them sit she never eats them, and always asks me why I didn't eat them if they expire. Why are the women in my life trying to make me fat? I know I need to move out, but I need to move up in my company before I can afford it. Each cookie I eat makes me hate myself. I need someone to shame me into being healthy.
You left without a word, no explanation, and not even a goodbye. 8 years, half of which we were best friends. I miss you. I'm not angry, I just want to know why. I want closure.
I really want to hear from you.
Im a attention seeking, insecure pathologic lier. I have lied about everything to everyone. They believe me. Im quite content with it until i am alone. Then i am forced to face the truth. It hurts but then i go back to the world i have created with my lies.
>>16925418
Initials?
You know I'm hurting, wayntiny? S'okay I need to learn tb alone
Guys keep approaching me because I look and act different. It makes me feel like shit because they lose interest after they realize how boring/average/awkward I really am.
I'm not a manic pixie dream girl, I just look like one leave me alone
I just broke up with my boyfriend to be friendzoned for the first time in my life by the love of my life.
I smiled at an Indian boy today and he smiled back but I was actually thinking of the "poo in loo" meme and trying not to burst into giggles because of my asshole brain.
Actually, if I ever smile throughout the day there's at least a 75% chance it's because I'm thinking about some dumb meme.
>>16925491
mine, or hers?
"Ich habe eine Menge von Reue"
Basically I moved about a year ago, and left this girl, who I love, and about 2-3 months ago I learned I was moving back. Awesome right? Wrong. She's with another guy ( who's peice of shit.) and it seems preety much hopeless. She says she still loves me but she can't and won't just leave this guy, so you guys have any thoughts?
My dick is really huge.
I fucking hate her, she is nice but I have to get some self esteem and start becoming a fucking man.
I am determined to be motivated and not give a fuck what anyone thinks of me, I'm sick of acting differently and being a cuck for the sake of other people.
I hope this motivation keeps up, but it never does. I need discipline in order to get my life together.
I am worth something, I'm not going to lay down and ruin my life.
>>16925505
Get some self-esteem.
I know that advice will not work, I know this.
But that is the answer, you need to find out how to get some self worth and seperate your actions from what people think of you.
After browsing places like /adv/ and /r9k/ I think that men fall in love much too easily.
>>16925633
Not love, then. Maybe crushes.
>>16925633
I'd say more that a lot of people confuse lust/infatuation with love. You don't love someone if you barely know them. Love the idea of them maybe. Or find them attractive, but it's not love.
Think I'm going to kill myself tonight. Really I'm only typing this so I make some sort of commitment and don't pussy out of it
My relationship of nearly two years, a month away, ended the other day. Things weren't going great for a month or so, she said she was feeling different about me. We would argue over small things, she admitted to me she was liking her manager a bit. Later told me wasn't that she likes him, she enjoyed the fact that she gave me more hours. Flash forward a bit. We go on a trip, she's on phone messaging two guys the whole time. I reply to a girl on the snapchads once, she doesn't notice me do so. Later on says I did it behind her back. We get to our destination, she's on her phone as we wait for boat. I'm there enjoying my surroundings, I get a message from the girl again. This time now ex girlfriend takes phone away, replies with. "I think we talk to much, we should talk less, etc" to girl then unfriends and blocks her. I tell her she's crazy and that she's been messaging two guys the whole time. Why can't I reply to a girl? I add girl back and unblock, she gets mad at me for "defending" other girl. Rest of night is shit. Going forward a few days, things aren't improving. Both always get into shitty moods. This goes on for a week, eventually I start getting tired of all the shitty feelings so I stop showing affection and emotions as much as usual. She ironically starts to show more emotions and is the one trying to maintain relationships at this point, I'm just done with all the breakdowns and terrible feelings. One day we agree it's over, the next she talks to me as if all is perfect and fine. That bothers me, become irritated quickly by it. That goes on for a week and a half. Go to a few nights ago, she tells me she's been trying to get over me because we technically broke up. Admits to me after asking a few times that she was going to fuck another guy in order to forget me. I lose my shit and yell. She starts crying, begging to me saying she wants me, etc. I tell her to leave, eventually she does saying it's over then. Monday, acts like nothing happened
>>16925703
Please don't. This is your only guarantee at consciousness, if you kill yourself you will stop existing.
Things can get better, I promise.
I want to drop out of college, I'm a sophomore now
But, I dont know how can I discuss about this to my parents (my brother dropped out of college already, and they were mad as hell, not the temporary / usual parents madness)
Me and my brother want to be a businessman and they're okay with it, but they've a very successful career and an upper middle class
And the idea of not having a degree to get a job is like a doomsday to them
My main reason to dropout is my inability to consistently step on others (step here means overexploitating / manipulating others)
Corruption is everywhere here, and if you aren't stepping on others, you'll be stepped on, this happens everywhere
I try to avoid stepping on others, but if you aren't the stepping or stepped on sides, you don't have anyone to defend for you (that's why I don't have friends, but I have
countless acquaintances)
People will come to me when they are in need, but rarely they will help me, it's a fact and I don't mind
In this corrupt third world country, we were raised with a very good education from my parents, and we aren't really naive, but we try to keep our integrity
Growing up in this country, you can't even trust your supposedly friends, family, and basically everyone (The only people whom I trust are my parents and my brother)
Especially, if money is involved
I can stand my ground, and I don't have any problem even if I need to step on others (my family is used to become the stepping sides if circumstances calls)
But, stepping on others as an adult in the real world / job market just because we should isn't what I want to do
In every jobs everywhere, if you aren't stepping on others, you'll be fucked
At least if I create my own jobs / business, I have a very legitimate reason to exploit others and I can force my own self-control rules, because I'm the owner of my jobs
Stepping on others makes my soul empty
I have 6 months before college starts to find a new medication routine that keeps my anxiety in check.
wish me luck
>>16925717
She asks me for my charger, I stupidly trade her chargers. She ends up acting loving again, wants kisses, hugs, to be held, etc. The whole time I'm pushing her away because I'm tired of her pretending as if nothings wrong and a is peachy. This goes on all school day, (senior in high school by the way). Next day same deal, after school I hang out with a friend for a while. She hangs with her friend as well. 3:30 rolls around, I go to watch a track meet out of boredom. See friend, hang with him. Girl who messaged me through Snapchad happened to be in track, she hangs with me and my friend. Whole time I'm messaging my ex. Then think to myself, "why am I even messaging her?" And put my phone away. She still messages me even though phones away. I'm having fun being social, something I stopped being while with my girlfriend. Felt great to be out having fun. She eventually stops messaging me. I end up speaking to my ex's old best friend and her friend. Both tell me that it's good we broke it off, since I would put more effort into relationship. I agree, end up ignoring ex for the rest of the day and night. Next morning comes, today. She messages me early morning telling me she's getting rid of all my old things. I.e first long board which holds many memories, favorite book, shirts, all of that. Also says she "found out" what I did yesterday. What, have fun and be social?Such a big deal! Reply with a standard, "really? Throwing everything away? Etc" message. I ignore her all day, she ignores me all day. People tell me she told them she was going to sell the valuable stuff I've given her. I.e necklaces, stuff of that sort. Makes me upset and mad. After long day I come home, she took me off every social media, pictures, everything. I still have everything she's given me. I start thinking of her, come to full idea that she's most likely never going to be mine again. She's an easy 9/10, guys are always swarming her. I start missing her, and now I'm here. Confused.
>>16925719
Actually I've thought about consciousness and I think I'd prefer not to have one. Really an afterlife scares me more
>>16925633
It's not love, it's infatuation. What surprises me is that a lot of them don't seem to know the difference. When you're thirsty things tend to blur.
You better not do anything stupid that would harm him
If anyone reads this, this is my venting of 7 months pent up anger and confusion. I'm not going to be thinking rationally or with any sort of moral high ground. Sorry if you get pissed off, this is me venting.
Why cant I get you out of my fucking head?
I'm so fucking angry and miserable and jealous and infatuated with you all at once and I can't stop thinking about you and it makes me want to scream and punch something until it shatters or my fingers break apart. Fuck everything about you. I miss you and I can't do a fucking thing about it.
I'm so fucking angry and jealous of that little shit you dated after me because I know I'm a better person than that stoner alcoholic jew-fro of a person and yet you dumped me for him. Three FUCKING MONTHS with that piece of whiny trash and you only went out with me for three weeks. What, did you only say yes to the first date with me out of pity and akwardness? Did I fuck up? WHAT DID HE HAVE THAT I DONT?
Im writing this because that shit told me.
He told me about what you did with him. Like we were buddies. He had to know he was bragging about it to me, the guy she left for him. Second base. Third base. I don't know which is which. Don't care. you got hot and heavy with him and he took off your AOT shirt. My shirt. The one I gave you after you asked for it from me. He told me he ate you out. Laughed about it like it was no big deal. So did I. I didn't know what my fake laugh sounded like until then. I went back and bottled it up. Like trying to force vomit back down my throat.
Now you're on to some new guy. I don't even know. Don't care, he's not my business anyway. I don't need to know anymore.
>>16925902
I just want to know why you left me. PHONE CALL. WE FUCKING LIVE ON CAMPUS WITHIN 800 METERS OF EACH OTHER AND YOU BREAK UP VIA FUCKING PHONE CALL. Not even a long call describing why, or giving reasons that make any damn sense. 96 SECONDS. THAT CALL WAS 96 SECONDS LONG.
"Can we just go back to being friends like this never happened? I just feel bad about how you always want to go out and I'm never able to." -Actual Break Up Call
No. No you cannot just go back to being friends like nothing ever happened. I was absolutely ------ by you. You can't just pretend like nothing happened.
No. That is not a good reason to break up with someone. That's phrased like neither of us are in the wrong. Either you think I was too pushy with dates and trying to be together and it made you uncomfortable OR you just never wanted to go out at all. EITHER ONE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER STATED THAN THE FIRST ONE. Make a choice, blame me or yourself.
Why couldn't you just talk to me in person? It was embarrassing and insulting to break up with me over phone.
YOU ACTUALLY PRETEND LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. "Now you're just somebody that I used to know" (dramatic irony). What the hell. Next time I saw you, I actually ask for an explanation when we both were alone and you weren't in a position that would be embarrassing. "I dunno." That was it? You don't care to remember anymore? Second insult to me within a day from you.
>>16925906
You remember the date right? How when we started talking about whatever we wanted and you asked how long you thought we would last if we had started dating in high school. I answered, "maybe three ____, max". I can't tell if that was Irony or if you remembered that on purpose but WELL FUCKING DONE.
All of these things have absolutely destroyed my pride. I look at myself and feel worthless in the mirror. You did this.
I hope I make it big in music one day. I hope you hear one of my songs on the radio one day. I hope that it's a song about you and that you IMMEDIATELY recognize that it's about you. I hope you realize that everyone around you is going to hear the song about you and how much you fucked with me. Then, I hope, you actually feel what I feel and that somehow you don't look back on me and try to forget that I happened.
I just want you to talk to me, or at the least explain what went wrong. I'm sick of not knowing.
I hope you read this. I hope you never read this.
You regret the other day, I can tell.
You used me for pleasure, so I'll just look at it as me using you for affection.
I'm so sad.
What is it about me that makes it seem like it's okay to hurt me?
I hate people so much.
Everyone around me has done something to completely lose my trust in them. It rattles my mind.
I feel like I'm the only one with good intentions.
I just want to be loved by someone who consistently makes me feel comfortable.
She keep saying that she loves me but, yet she talks to another guy. Asked him to meet up just to hang out as friends. Honestly, I might be stupid but I'm not fucking retarded. I've been with her for a while now, one year and eight months and I've never never felt this way about anybody. I don't feel complete if my day doesn't have her in it. I told her to either choose him or me and she can't. Then she says it's not even about him! It's about me and her and if we're going to have a future together. She says she's felt this way for months, even one of my friends says he's noticed. But for some reason I feel like a relationship just keeps getting better and better, but everybody else sees it getting worse and worse. I can't lose the last bit of what I call family.
I don't know what to fucking do, do I pursue this? Do I keep my mouth shut and carry on with my life? I would like you to be apart of my life in some aspect but at the same time I am pretty sure it's just wishful thinking. I am not going to admit to you I am interested since coming off as a clingy P.O.S. is the last thing a girl wants. Please for the love of god give me a sign.
I see tropes on TV and online (sadly I googled how to tell if a woman is in to you) It said if a girl touches your arm shes into you but that sounds like some old wives tale you see in magazines but then again you did that today. I am going to give this about a week if this goes nowhere I am fucking booking it & moving on. You have my attention but for how long?
What did I ever do in my entire life to deserve this? I've already had to try and deal with so many awful things, that have literally traumatized and broken me. This is without a doubt the worst thing I've ever experienced, and has completely shattered and ruined whatever remains of my mental health and wellbeing I had left. I don't even know who I am anymore.
>>16926013
Wanna talk about it?
>>16925902
>went on one date
>thinks it was a goddamn relationship
kids these days, jesus christ
I think I've been had.
It's always my fault. Even when I've done nothing wrong, it's still always my fault.
Started taking 15mg adderal xr to treat my ADHD. Can focus very well, but I'm devoid of emotion. I don't react like I would. Other people just annoy me. The only thing I feel is anxiety at the end of the day. Laying in bed right now thinking I'm gonna die, and that taking this drug is wrong.
It gives me focus, and a will power I've never had before. I can tell myself to read instead of waste time and I do. I can tell myself not to waste money on stupid shit. Taking this matter me realize I really do have ADHD but I'm not sure it's worth it.
>>16926471
Hey there. Give it a little more time. If you don't see improvement, try different meds. Meds are never worth losing yourself over.
This man I'm really into asked me out yesterday
I feel like I've given the run around all my life, and at last something tangible happens. Now I'll have to wait and see if he's true to his word
I love him so much
I want to kill myself, but I'd much rather see how fucked up life can get in the next possible 60 years or so of life, seeing as how quickly the first 24 years passed.
>>16925908
Can wait to hear that track :)
Good luck Anon
>>16926646
Can't*
>>16925881
Trust me, I wouldn't hurt a hair on his little head.
I'm truly pathetic to even think about it.
I was texting my friend and they told me to wait for them and that they "WILL come back!". Its been 3 hours. 2:48 am . Ill wait all night bb
Mother fucker
My friends won't stop making fun of me because I won't download anything illegally. The reason is tat I don't want my computer to have a virus for some stupid reason. I was stupid enough to send my notes from a lecture to one of them via USB drive, and because of that my USB drive is completely fucked up, as well as my computer. I can still use my computer but it has a virus that can't be detected and it's a pain in the ass to remove it. All of this because she won't stop playing gay porn video games.
So, I was watching "breakout kings" on netflix.
Good show.
Anyway, there's this one point where this awkward guy asks this ghetto black guy for romantic advice, and his advice is "Fire and ice".
Essentially, show affection, then be a cold ass bitch.
There are these two girls at work, one has pretty much acted that way around me, "fire and ice"-ing me (though, unsure if deliberate), the other is just always friendly, though somewhat distant.
Now, I've always tried to be friendly towards them. I gave a little fire.
So yesterday, I pretty much ignored the shit out of them.
It was rough, because I'm not that kinda guy.
But I want to see if I can make the cold-ass bitch get friendly again because I actually like her.
If this don't work... I think it'll be time just use ice. Be a cold as hell towards her forever. Flat out ghosting and ignoring her.
>>16925749
You had a girl that was way into you, and you didn't give her a proper chance. If you want to be with someone you don't break off the relationship at the first sign of "I kinda don't like that". You sit down with her, have a conversation like an adult, like a man, and tell her you need this from her, and that all you want is to be happy together. If you're confused it's because you still care about her, and you need to do some soul searching. Consider apologizing for being a sanctimonius twat and denounce all of your shitty actions to her. You were acting like you are better than her, and she is rightfully pissed.
Does showing me the love I apparently deserve include the real, proper love that you haven't shown me in so long?
I get treated like a piece of shit by just about everyone. You know, I'm going to start being one to everyone as well. I tried to make a living by being a good person, now I'm going to get rich by being a monster.
>>16927236
Did we read the same posts? From what I saw, she got bored with him and started looking for attention from other males while they were still in a relationship. How did you get that he didn't give her a proper chance?
I'm 22 and am in a relationship with a 37 year old woman and have been with her for 3 years.
Don't actually get in a relationship with a cougar. There isn't a ton of overlap on hobbies, she's always tired, and sex starts to come infrequent and suck.
At the beginning there was lots of sex and fun but 3 years later it's depressing monotony. Sometimes sex once a week usually on Sunday and it has to be quick with no feelings of passion.
There also is not much overlap on hobbies and interests
We do both love each other but I'm not a cheater and this shit sex life is killing me along with her not taking interest in my hobbies
>>16925749
You're not confused. You're just a cuck.
Why the fuck do i need to take elective courses in university. I came here to work in my specific major, not to hinder myself and my GPA by taking classes i don't have any interest invested in, or a proficiency in.
I know as far as complaints go its derivative as fuck but i shouldn't be forced to struggle through a course that will never benefit me through my life in order to graduate, no matter the money it makes for the school. It's bullshit.
Someone be my friend.
Nice try. Way to try to fuck with me again.
You are evil. That's all. It's in your face and bleary eyes. That mugshot of you with your faggot-ass dreads says it all - your eyes are a blank. You are a sociopath and it will come down on you one day bitch.
>>16927511
I'm a terrible friend.
>>16927382
That's every relationship. Not just cougars. Sorry to break it to u.
I've made out with my sister.
And I still lust for her to this day.
I hate how people are nice as fuck when I'm openly suicidal but go back to being jerks to me when I'm back on track. I want to kill myself just to make people feel bad, or maybe fake my suicide or intentionally fail at killing myself.
I wish I could just make myself be a dick to people too but I can't help being awkwardly extra kind to people. I want to be a jerk like the rest.
>>16927668
There's nothing wrong with that. Each human is an independent individual and love is love and comes in many forms. I wish you the best.
Man, I am fucking sick as shit of this course I'm following. Programming. Sure, it's interesting, but this week the teacher was like "yeah, learn to use a completely new feature of this language you've only used once before, and while you're at it, learn to use this other shit as well".
So two fucking days of cursing at my screen later, I figure out I'm doing shit wrong, and that's why it's not working. Fucking great. How do I fix this? No fucking idea. Am I going to finish my homework? Probably not. What have I learned? Nothing.
You know, I thought that if I'd start early this week, I'd have some time left and would have time to cook, and to do some shit that isn't related to this course or late-night frustration gaming. Nope, looks like it's going to be another late-nighter.
I'm fucking sick of this. I'm fucking sick of barely holding my head above water while the others all seem to have prior experience. I'm sick of having my time occupied by questions I don't have answers to. I'm sick of never knowing if I'll have time for something, because I have to expect everything going to shit, and spending days on fucking bullshit. I'm sick of not even having the time to study on this shit beyond my homework, because the fucking homework takes up all my time, trapping me in a vicious circle.
I fucking hate this shit. I fucking hate staring at my screen for hour upon hour, night after night. This is no fucking way to live. It's nice outside. But I have to sit here and spend effort on being the worst person in class. Because all the time I spent on it was useless.
Fuck this course. I'm probably not even going to pass the exam anyway, on account of the whole not having time to actually fucking study for it next to trying to learn two new things at the same time. I'm not cut out for this shit. I wish I were, but I fear if I go into this as a career, this is just what my life is going to be like.
I've failed portfolio review multiple times and I can't get into the art program I want. I'm living with my parents. I have no job. I've applied places but I don't have the motivation to do anything. I just feel sad and lonely all day. I'm just coasting through life waiting for it to get better without working to fix things myself. I just want to give up. I want my boyfriend to take me back. He dumped me months ago because he thinks I'm not going anywhere and he fell out of love with me and it hurts because the hateful things he told me about my looks, intelligence, and personal drive are things I'm self conscious about so I don't even disagree with him. I'm still fucking him because I'm delusional and I want him to appreciate me and see how much I love him but I know he doesn't and every time I want to tell him "I love you" during sex when all the passion wells up I have to stop myself and I just want to cry. Today is my birthday.
I fucked up so hard this week. I was having the best time of my life with my ex, and 2 of her friends. I think I might be Bipolar so I told them that I was gonna get myself tested. Start stressing the fuck out, I still had feelings for my ex, and wanted to change myself to be better so I could have another chance with her. I start drinking myself to sleep. Ex was busy yesterday, her friend was at work so i txted that I needed help and wanted to talk. I ended up txting. She blows up at me and puts me down instead of being supportive. I ended up venting for like 4 hours to our other friend. I feel calm and relieved. Tell Ex and 1st friend I need to talk to them 1 on 1. My Ex ends up over reacting and we fight for like 4 hours over txting.... 2nd friend is now confused and doesn't know what to do with me, 1st friend gets home from work and goes berserk.... I tell my closest friend and it turns out he was right all along and my Ex turned out to be a shallow piece of shit. Same for her 1st friend. I feel like I just lost 3 friends over an episode and I don't know what to do anymore. So I am scheduling a meeting with a psychiatrist to try to get help... Fucking life man.....
I'm not sure if I'm going on a date with this one girl whilst another girl is acting like she wants some sweet loving but I'm playing blind to it until her birthday next month because I'm not a /b/ster and she's 17.
Telling someone you love them that much they end up believing it isn't fucking cool when you don't actually love them. You absolute cunt.
I'm not above this, I'm not mature, fuck you. Every single bit of anger i have inside me is directed at you.
When she's had enough of you, and she will, don't try talking to me. Infact I hope you both drop dead. And your cats. And your stupid fucking white hoodie is ugly.
Lel
Someone be my friend?
>>16928039
Initials?
>>16928051
He won't need them.
May have just committed sexual assault. Not sure what to do.
>>16928070
Greentext it, of course.
>>16928039
Ah man. I changed my mind, I don't mean any of that.
Fat gash bitch laughed at your public obese exposure lol get a life incompetent vietcunt shitcunt
All over the world
We're in our own
Where no-one can be
and some
As we watched the sun go down
They'll say we fell out
Why can't they find their own?
I'm all in our zone
>>16927912
Happy birthday!
>>16928228
Understandable.
I'm so lost in life i have no idea what direction i should be going
>>16928228
I hate you, too. I know you like to think I'm "stalking" you because I still like you or something but the truth is that I'm actually trying to destroy you. You fucked with the wrong person which is me and I don't let that happen.
I want you to go back to jail.
>>16921399
Same. Once wifey is done being preggers shit is gonna be so fly
my dick is so tiny i mean like micro. it might even go inwards sometimes T-T
>>16927583
Wow that's depressing :(
I'm trying to get a girl at work to cheat on her baby daddy with me. She laughs at my dumbass pick-up lines and has told me she is getting sick and tired of her boyfriend's shit. I have no interesting in dating her or staying with her long-term, so I should feel terrible that I'm trying to fuck up her relationship, right? But I don't.
Why is it good to be alive?
>>16928308
E, is that you?
>>16928347
Eh dude people make their own bed and so they have to sleep in them.
My only thing I should offer is that dudes kill over shit like that so I would highly suggest against it.
Plus don't eat where you shit that can go bad in so many ways.
Unless you are leaving that job soon or you don't mind worrying about retaliation from the dude go for it.
Though it is kinda shitty to do that
Please don't die
Love me if you will; breathtakingly amazing, kind man, holding me nearer than before
From the stillness of a concrete ground, to your warm hands against my back, we return from the cold. Glowing cheeks, and fiery eyes, ready
The universe is a beautiful place with you in it
>>16928395
>>16926877
i sure wish i had sexy GAY PORN VIDEOGAMES TO MASTURBATE TO preferably anime ones
Sometimes I think he's way too smart for me. And then I remember no, it's not that he's smarter - he's just more accomplished. That makes sense given he's older than me and also has never had the personal difficulties I've run into. So that's, okay, right? I shouldn't feel so lowly compared to him.
I need to remember that I'm good at things. I'm good at music. I'm good at languages. I'm good with people. There is more value to me than my grades. And this is okay.
>>16921393
i feel a huge disconnect with everyone i know or have ever met
i dont want to ever be responsible for another soul in this world
i feel like im bound by family and cant rest until they no longer rely on me
drinking is my only outlet
i want to sleep but have commitments
how do i learn to stop worrying to much?
i just wrote a long ol' post, but delete it 'cause i wasnt happy with it. that'll give you some sort of indication, i need to stop thinking everything needs to be "perfect".
ive only started to realise how much it's been affecting me throughout life. i would fail tests 'cause i would take forever going over questions, avoid social situations due to worrying about what people think about me, spend forever replying to people, etc.
work as a junior software developer for 5 months. I have never had that high of self esteem and coworkers soon found out that they can take advantage of me (play practical jokes, get me to take on any work they don't want etc.). Even my boss will do this sometimes and joke that I won't assert myself. Feel shitty every night for the past week and I'm thinking about looking for another job but never have the motivation to during evenings because I have to prepare meals, waste time on the internet, relax
>>16928845
I used to worry about everything. I literally worried myself into the hospital. Mostly over stupid shit too. The only thing that stops me from worrying now is realizing/remembering how stupid it was for my health to do that to myself. Right after I got out of the hospital I would meditate and that helped quite a bit. I don't meditate as much now because I'm not worrying as much these days....but it did help before I had a grip on things.
I bought two pairs of trainers because they were on sale since I only have one pair of trainers. I feel really bad about spending the money desu.
It was £60 for both pairs... so about $75-80 for the Amerifams.
Feels weird. I can spend money on family and friends without batting an eye, but a pair of shoes and I'm looking into the mirror asking myself "who are you anymore?" whilst covering my face in lipstick.
My mom is schizophrenic and left in the middle of the night. I hope she is ok and I can tell her I love her once more.
I'm feeling really good about this
>>16928926
That seems like a decent price if you're actually going to get use out of them. Good shoes affect your posture, which affects your breathing, and overall your general bodily health. Comfy shoes are important.
>>16928784
Initials?
Apparently I keep forgetting things due to ECT (electroconvulsive therapy), but I don't *feel* like I'm forgetting things, which is really annoying.
Is that even a feeling?
>>16929198
One of his (not saying whether it's first, last, or middle) is M
I lost my job.
Haven no recourse.
Military or suicide.
Not sure which now.
>>16929218
Welcome to life.
Reality is only memory.
No memory=nonexistance.
Fun fact: Memories are invented and lost at random.
That's why modern courts barely rely on eye witness accounts.
Because due to the months in distance between event and trial, memories shift and change.
You honestly believe something happened, but there's no way to tell
>>16929245
Military if they'll let you in. Discipline is a good thing, and feeling useful is another.
I feel a void in my life but it's always been there, even when I was a kid. Some of it is loneliness, but not in the way that I need an actual person around me. I just want to feel safe and as if I'm on the right track in life.
How am I supposed to know when I should be in a relationship? I could see myself being barely content enough to scrape by my whole life without being married or in any relationship, but I also don't want to miss out on something great, if that's what it's supposed to be like. How am I supposed to know when I'm ready to let other people in? Should I even want to let someone in?
>>16929218
>>16929288
It still baffles me this kid grew up to be decent looking.
I wish I weren't so fucking weak.
I can't help but fucking dote and daydream all the time about a girl that I can't fucking have because she's in a relationship and she either thinks I'm a fucking creep or honestly doesn't have the time to waste on me. I mean, that's great. That's fucking wonderful. I don't care about that.
I just want to have my fucking peace of mind again. I feel so fucking slimy and creepy thinking about her all the time. Try as I might, I just can't stop. We see each other occasionally, and it's usually a trite and insignificant conversation, but my heart just goes insane. I lose my appetite when she's around.
This isn't me. I don't do this. I'm better than this. Why am I so obsessed? I can't take this obsession. I can't fucking stand it. I don't obsess over people! I feel like a god damn rapist.
>>16929302
You're not alone: this is pretty much exactly my life at the moment, so much so that I could've written this word for word, and has been for several months now just right the fuck out of nowhere. I don't know who I am any more.
>>16929302
I'm with you about a guy. We hooked up once and it was bad. Also know that any kind of relationship if impossible but when I'm around him I just want to fuck he m again but he hates me and won look at me
>>16929301
Oh you're telling me, I think he's hot af now.
>>16929301
>>16929333
Puberty was so good to him. And I ~love~ a man in a suit, but fuck, he can pull it off better than most men.
>>16929359
The pic on the right is weirding me out. Looks just like my dad when he and my mom got married.
>>16929359
Tailored suits are cheatcodes tho
If you're rich enough, you get your suit custom fit for the event you go it.
Every time
A normal man has to deal with just one suit.
And his body fluctuates, for better or worse.
It's not like with woman's clothes, where thinner looks better.
For men's, if you're too big or too thing, it looks like shit.
>>16924414
This hits so close to home... i dont know if youre still lurking this thread but if your initials are HH and youre from PA, please contact me.
-tmc
I told my friend about the guy I just started dating, and based off that information (and definitely I did not ask for this), she was able to find info on his sister, his parents, his friends, the messageboards he posted on ten years ago, all kinds of shit. I haven't delved into it yet past his sister's LinkedIn profile, but ... I'm not really sure what to do. If this was someone MY friend was dating, I'd be reading all of it. But since it's someone I'm dating...I don't know. I don't want to be talking to him and him be like "Hey have you ever played __" and accidentally be all "Nah, but I know you were so into it you ran your own guild at shit in undergrad!" Because that would be creepy.
Wat do? Do I just let her go through all that shit and tell me if something egregious pops up? I shouldn't read it myself, right?
Just going for to break up with you soon, because you are making it apparently so that you aren't done fucking other people and can't stick to one. So fuck it, I'm back into that mindset of leaving things how they were.
I want to kill myself. Growing up and being an adult is too fucking stressful for me to handle at times. I'm about to move in w my gf whom idk if I even want to be with. I feel bipolar, one moment I can't stop thinking about her, how I love her more than life itself, how I want a long future with her, and the next I'm setting up a tinder to see how many hot woman match me, what my chances would be with better looking women, I feel too young and not ready to commit so heavily to one person, I feel like I can't break up with her because I deep down don't want to, I've tried in the past but she breaks me down easily, but I also don't want to cheat, but I would give anything to be able to fuck one of the 10/10s I have a chance with, also afraid she'd kill herself. I feel trapped, partially I don't want to get out of this as I said, but I don't like being stuck either.
I feel like a failure in many ways, I just want to give up
>>16921393
Hey JH!
FUCK YOU! Bet your ass I did that shit. BTW your wife is ugly as fuck, and you're so damn ugly you could be an abstract art masterpiece! Eat shit and die faggot. And one more thing: I'm fairly certain you have something to hide. Otherwise you wouldn't be trying to demonize everyone else around you. Yeah, I seen that routine before.....keep trying to pin labels on everyone else in your surroundings so that nobody has the nutsack to point out what character flaws you're hiding yourself. I'd love to get your ass hooked up to a lie detector and ask you a good 1000 ethics based questions before the entire audience of this company so we can expose you for the hyposcritical bastard piece of shit we all deep-down know you truly are. Odds are you'd be too chicken to go through with it and keep trying to spin your web of horseshit propaganda instead of manning up and taking the challenge (during which we'd have a camera on your sphincter cuz i'm sure you're intelligent enough to know how to cheat one by puckering your asshole). And once again FUCK YOU AND YOUR UGLY WIFE!!!
PS. That PAWG you're with, will tell you anything as long as you believe.
i'm really mad and i am completely alone
my fucking friends never invite me anywhere
tonight one gave me tons of bullshit
i want to fucking kill one
i'm so angry
fuck all of them
I really really need someone to talk to
>>16929747
'bout what? Vent away in a vent thread.
I go on 4chan in hopes of feeling something, like I feel from watching some deep shit. All going here does, though, is make me sad, fucking crushed. I think it's time to pick up books. This computer will completely drain me.
So many possibilities, this perfect format, seemingly, of anonymous posting, and yet I hate everything I read here. I cannot empathize with these shits.
I feel more reading about young Hitler.
I want to fucking die, at my own hand, with fullest fury as my life ends. In that one moment, I get revenge on this shitty life of chaos bound by law. I would see that face, fucking die punching that face through my last firing neurons.
My death is the last thing I look forward to. I'm so fucking depressed and disheartened, but with an incessant fury. I'm outwardly polite and kind, but I despise the energetic, lively persons around me.
I hate how edgy I sound, and I want to smash my monitor, crash out my window and run away. I've lost my thoughts.
>>16929781
Beautifully written and very moving… You're young and this too will pass.
keep writing!!!
>>16929442
Jeez this is good, too! You both get A's.
This is why I come here….
I fucked up hard today. Damn you for cucking me in the 4chan way. Why invite me to the gallery showing if you're just going to ignore me and only talk to the other guy you mentioned. What the fuck, when we got lunch earlier I thought it was going great. I only went because I wanted to see you, not get cucked in that regard. Fuck if you werent perfect and the ideal girl I have in my mind I'd be so much more pissed
Fuck you why are you so perfect and why are you talking to me at all. Someone like you has no right to talk with such a pitiful creature as myself. I wish we never met because at least I was content with being sad and angry and bitter and alone. Why do you have to be nice to me and talk and stuff, why cant you just tell me to fuck off and stop talking to you like I know you want to?
Why do I have to be such a defeatist like this, shit is retarded . It is the worst thing to be content with failure and actively self-sabotaging yourself because at least theres familiarity in failure instead of stepping outside your comfort zone and trying something where theres even a sliver of success because you are terrified of feeling something new like success. I hate me.
My old oneitis from uni got into contact with me after a couple years of silence. I was a fat cunt back then, but have been lifting for the years since then. She dropped contact with me after getting a boyfriend, and I was forced to move on.
I honestly wasn't even into it, just responding with half-assed replies, and generally whatever came to my mind, because I figured honestly, fuck it, at this point what do I have to lose? Somehow though, she started coming onto me, texting dirty shit, asking for pictures of me, sending me nudes of herself, leading up to phone sex the other night.
She's still with the same boyfriend. She expressed interest in wanting to do more, but she hasn't texted me since that night. From shame, maybe? Honestly, I don't know.
I feel like I should have at least some remorse on his behalf, but there's nothing. I thought I would feel vindicated on my behalf, but I don't. It feels as if it didn't even happen.
I'm a scumbag, I know, and I keep telling myself that, but I can't find it in myself to give a shit. It's a strange feeling.
>>16929903
Car accidents are brutal. You really do not want that.
I was in a serious one over a year ago, and still have medical issues.
I also have terrible vertigo when in the front seat. Driving, when I could, was not fun. Probably should have taken that concussion more seriously, eh?
Really want to meet girls and try to lose my v-card, but I also have a small crush on a guy at work. Conflicted af
>>16929826
Shit anon, I feel your pain. But stay strong, go out there and let her shoot you down if it comes to that.
How the fuck am I supposed to have my life together at all!?!? I feel like there's no time in the world for anything! My dreams and hopes for a career are all things that I'm terrible at. I've run out of ideas trying to think of any other possibilities. I don't want to be stuck in a dead end low income, low job security career all my life. As long as I had someone by my side to go through that with me I would be fine but I also don't want to drag a girl into that life because of my selfishness, even if I do love her. I need to be getting my life together quick, get in close touch with God, find the important stuff in life, stop wasting time, and overall just grow up. But part of me doesn't know where to start with the last part. I guess just more life experience of getting beat down to get up even stronger...
I went out on st paddys day with a girl her friends and boyfriend. I've been crushing on this girl for awhile now. Tonight I learned I won't be with her in anyway other then "that one nice guy I work with" I don't want her to kick me gently on thigh anymore when she's talking and trying to get my attention. Or grabbing my arm or leaning in so we are touching to show me something on her phone. I don't want her to look me right in the eyes and smiling whIle we shoot the shit on our breaks. I don't want to like her any more then I already do, it will be easier for me to forget and move on.
Her boyfriend seemed like a nice man, I hope the best for both of them.
>>16929942
a whole bunch of gays out there never stuck their dicks in women, do you think they give a fuck? the social weight of virginity revolves around the purity of a women and the experience or "social pull" of a man. if you like guys, lose your virginity to a guy. simple.
>>16929949
I dont understand anything, we talked about about shit and I mentioned that we should eat at this restaurant I talked about and she sounded very enthusiastic about it and said yes once she found the time. The only saving grace is that I dont think she's with the guy friend she brought, though I did feel a bit shitty in that she invited me to this thing where all her friends in that class was and proceeded to gravitate to them while not even considering me. I really shouldnt have gone at all really, the whole experience just fucked what was a good day. Then she goes on and pulls this shit when the first half of the day was great. I am bitterly alone and I think its just too good to be true that she talks to me.
>>16930015
I feel like women would have a better chance at reciprocating. I wouldn't want to put myself out there to a guy, get shot down, and then be known as some faggot. The interest is more romantic than sexual anyway. While I find women sexually attractive, I have difficulty connecting with them meaningfully.
I hardly even know you, why am I thinking about you a lot? Usually my thoughts are about futile and trivial things like how am I going to pass this exam, whats a good way to flank these noobs on Dust II or how am I going to enrich my digital painting skills. Now for some reason I get thoughts "hey that girl is pretty cute" "she has really pretty eyes" "you think she would go for a guy like me" and so on, you get the idea. I don't understand why you left an impact on me. When I think about the reality of it I am probably just a friend of a friend to you. This sucks. I want to play it cool but I think its apparent that I am crushing on you when we speak. Is trying even worth it? I feel like a fool in front of a beauty queen
>>16921393
>90% best friend is getting in with my crush
>pretty sure shes only talking with me to be polite but I'm interpreting it as interest
>simultaneously hopeful and annoyed
>just before important exams
THIS WILL END WELL.
>>16930302
* 90% sure
i am in pain.
>>16930658
Why?
>>16922867
There's always fertility treatments, don't fret. Infertile doesn't mean it's impossible just difficult
>>16930724
Because I am weak, I fall too easily and too hard for people who do would not care if I died this minute
>>16930042
It's just infatuation bro, probably cos she is a minor constant. I guess the mind tends to latch on to things that are constant to make sense of things.
I'm crushing on someone who's rumoured to be a lesbian, well one unreliable guy says she is, but knowing my luck...
...reading into everything she does to see if it's true.
Had my first quarter of college where I fucked up a lotta shit. I've put in maybe 60 hours of studying, and spent 12 hours this week taking 4 exams. I've slept about 2-3 hours a day, with two all nighters. I have one more in 3 hours that I'm too fucking exhausted and demotivated to study for. I know I'm going to do bad either way. The part that sucks is that two of these classes are my major courses. Fucking feels like shit knowing you're doing bad in something you're probably going to have to do for the rest of your life. Also just came to realize I don't really have a friend I can bitch all of this about to who will just tell me everything is going to be ok. Between high school and college, all my closest friends kinda grew distant. i just feel like my life is a shitshow right now. Fuck it's still another 6 hours before I'll even be done and on break. Kinda can't wait to take the xanny I was saving after and just forget about this whole quarter and pretend everything will be ok.
>>16927912
Fuck anon. Sorry. Happy birthday. Things will work out.
>>16927734
In the same position just not with programming. It's fucking infuriating devoting an ass load of time into something and have it not fucking work out or pay out. Fuck those shit man. Fuck.
>>16921393
I'm not up for the challenge of work today, but I have no choice.
>>16930806
Take every 10 minutes as they come.
Set small goals (eg, make that phone call relating to your work/finish that 5min task), and reward yourself every time you complete said goal.
Work your way up to taking every hour as they come, still setting small goals for each task you need to finish, while rewarding yourself every time you complete your goals.
Even if it's something small, you'll hopefully feel like you accomplished something, which you did, and it'll put your mind a little more at ease.
My husband didn't come home last night.
I'm in the fucking corner.
if I don't get to eat my wife's pussy tonight I'm gonna lose the plot
>>16930930
Do you know where he is? Are you ok?
If Becky and Jonah didn't make it, god I don't know who can.
I hate seeing them not together. They should be together. Her new boyfriend is an ape, they look wrong together.. Jonah should go get his lady. Why did this happen? Why did this have to happen?
>>16930979
He just brought the kids home from a sleepover. I must have been asleep when he finally got home
I have too many boyfriends. I'm greedy. Last night I broke up with one of them.
Why is it when you treat guys like shit they crawl after you but when you love the fuck out of them they push you away and never talk to you again?
Why? I treat so many guys like shit and they fucking love it and with this other guy I'd do anything for and he doesn't give a fuck?
>>16930902
Thanks, got some done....still some more to go.
>>16930998
Because men are sluts that deserve to be treated like sluts.
Has anyone here escaped this crappy existence of vidya and 4chan? I mean, 25 and over, that point where you start setting as the person you're going to be the rest of your life?
Being around you hurts like hell but not being around you kills me. It doesn't help that things got a hundred times more complicated than they were before.
I'm obsessed with getting an old friend group that completely hates my guts to accept me.
I haven't spoken to them in a number of years yet I keep dreaming I'll show up and eventually they'll realize I've grown as a person and I'm not a fucking mental case.
I just wanted to be accepted and I was too young when I was part of that group.
I know they've done nothing but talk shit about me and warn people about me for several years.
I'm left wondering why the fuck I should care but I do, I have this unrealistic urge to prove them wrong yet I'm too fucking scared to even approach them in any way.
They treated me like shit and I didn't deserve it, I was young, naive and stupid and mentally fucking retarded until therapy.
I don't know what I want, Why am I still thinking about this. God damn it...
>>16930998
Maybe I'm not that good for a lovely girl like you.
>>16930998
Initials?
>>16929359
>And I ~love~ an attractive man in a suit
FTFY
Kind of tired of people saying this, to be honest. Because that's just what it boils down to. You wouldn't be excited about ME in a suit, because I'm a chubby, permanently depressed autist with zero prospects. Just like everyone else here.
If you like suits, you like suits. You like wearing them, you like other people wearing them. You know what looks good on yourself or others regardless of their physical condition. And you probably bemoan the fact that people today regularly go severely underdressed.
If you like "men in suits" and post pictures of hot, six-pack-wielding men, you just like hot, chiselled men. And there's nothing wrong with that. And maybe you DO like your hot, chiselled men better in well-tailored suits because of some fetishy connotation. But 90% of the time when people say they like "X in X", this is what they mean and they just package it into a false affinity that they don't really have.
I hate not finding the words to make everything better.
All I can fucking do is sit here while the whole situation festers into a huge fucking mess.
I'm such an autistic piece of shit why do you even put up with me.
