> Tired after lecture
> Meet female friend who is visibly ill
> She says that she doesn't feel well
> Mean to say: Yes, you don't look like you don't feel well, you should go home, make yourself a tea and take a rest
> But accidentally say: Yeah, you really look fucked up (...you should really go home, make yourself a tea and go to bed)
> Before I can finish my sentence she storms off pissed at me
> Instantly realise mistake and I run after her and want to apologise
> Doesn't listen
> Other female friend who witnessed everything tells me not to worry (she might be on her period or something)
> Hear from other friend a week later that she is still doesn't want to hang out with me and we currently don't get along.
These kind of misinterpretable phrases sometimes happen to me. I understand that people may get insulted (especially girls).
It just happens and i don't know why.
I have tried thinking thoroughly before every sentence I speak, but that becomes very very tedious over time. I mostly end up overthinking it and just not saying anything.
>How to avoid such phrases and making people angry.
>Why can some people get away with saying such things as a gag and not get bad reactions?
> also how to avoid casual swearing?
Take the Obama method of communication. Get into the habit of talking slower, and with any/every pause you take, think hard about the next few words you want to say out loud.
This way, your concept is tailored and your swearing is minimalized
>>16916333
Dont forget to the press your thumb on you pointing finger and wag it as youre making your key statement.
I do not think you should even bother m8. I used to police my words very heavily, but its so much more fun just to let it flight. I stopped caring about "offending" people because who the fuck actually cares? They shouldn't unless it was solely to harm, i guess.
She seems really easily offended; I can't make female friends mad at all, try as I might. Maybe some space would help.
>>16915957
I think it depends on your delivery.
I say shit like that all the time, but you have to gauge how good your relationship is with them. girls are a little more sensitive. treat them half as bad as you would treat your guy friends.
>>16915957
You just need experience. I work retail and have a great intuition for this kind of thing. Both of my parents are in sales. I still fuck up and say the wrong thing occasionally. In your situation, the way I would have saved it is the second I saw her reaction I would have done;
>Yeah, you really look fucked up.
>*disgruntled chick*
>I hate that, it sucks, man one time I was coughing phlem for 3 months. Hey, get well soon. I'll email you my notes so you don't get behind, I know you would do the same for me.
And even when I don't come up with the right thing immediately I make up for it later. I don't apologize, I just compliment and coddle them (do a favor or be their shoulder) more than usual when I see them again. A few compliments helps a person forget faster than an apology.
>>16916333
Thanks. It is not that I am not able to talk in a structured or formal manner. I do it a lot with people with people who are older and hold higher positions/people I may need (profs, parents, etc.). In these cases everything is premeditated.
It is in more casual environments where this tends to happen. I just say something I shouldn't have said/done in retrospect and i hurt people/make them angry.
>>16916411
Well always saying what I think in the way I do seems has put me in trouble more than once.
Makes me the guy who can talk with professors for hours, but gets really 'sweary' and says weird/insulting stuff when in a casual environment.
>>16916552
Yeah, there are people like that. I never understood that, some guys can get away with everything and girls may even find it charming.
>>16916592
That 'delivery'-concept is something I understand (ie. smoothness) but I never got a grasp on how to control or change that. Edgy and smooth at the same time.
I have known this girl for 6 month now and she always seemed more of the 'chiller' girl with nose piercing, smoking weed, etc. Not somebody I would expect to get irritated so quickly. Plus she knows that I am somewhat impulsive in my word choice sometimes, but still seemingly got insulted.
Should I confront her? Or let it simmer in the background?
>>16916599
I really went after her and 'hugged' her from behind and said that i didn't mean it that way and that I was sorry. She just said
>get off and stormed away
Couldn't have saved it nicely as she stormed off before I had even finished my initial sentence.
