>>16913726
A few weeks ago I would've said you're crazy but my best friend started straight up saying he was talking shit about me and said "dude, really" when I simply asked "what'd you say" then he said it again a week later and now I find it really hard to muster the willpower to start a conversation with him.

>>16913830
this week i was the one talking shit about my workgroup and some IDIOTS told them about it and NOW I AM THE EVIL GUY... now i understand what this guy says... be careful

I've never talked bad about my friends and I've made it clear that I don't want them to talk about me or talk about the things that I say.
If you communicate well with your people and find people of quality, then they won't betray you

>>16913850
You were talking shit about people, what did you expect? Don't say things you don't mean or arn't tough enough to own up to.
Duh. Didn't you learn this rule in 2nd grade like the rest of us? "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

>>16913860
EXACTLY but the rule i didnt learn is that everyone can hear you and observe you and they can tell everyone and then: betray you.

now i know, now i understand

sad way to live your life.

i would never betray anyone, not even a stranger i've given a promise to. i do not destroy others, i do not lie, i do not cheat, i do not steal.

im sure there are more people like me, and i like to think the people i have around me feel the same.

it's a pretty shitty way to live your life if you can't ever get close to someone else

>>16913887
its a more shittier way to live your life to trust on the people that WILL betray you and destroy you.

wanna get close to someone? fine. now wait for them to know you and find a way to harm you everytime. thats being stupid

>>16913877
That's where trust comes in? Do don't tell you deepest darkest secrets to random people you don't know because 1) you don't know if they'll be supportive and
2) you don't know if they'll keep their mouth shut.

Once you've built trust with people by telling them smaller, less important things, and they've respected your privacy and kept your secrets, you can start to tell them more personal ideas as long as you emphasize that you want them to keep quiet about it. If they're a trustworthy friend, sharing those secrets will make your relationship stronger, and those deeper conversations will bond you together

>>16913891
You're just friends with shitty people. Not everyone likes that. I get no enjoyment from seeing my friends suffer, and I wouldn't do anything to hurt them knowingly. Anyone with half a brain can tell when something is supposed to be kept hush hush- and I don't even tell like my mom at best friends about secrets that are personal.

Now, if you're talking shit about someone and your friend goes and reveals the fact that you were talking shit, then you deserve it because you were setting a low expectation for friendship. Like you can't just talk shit and be a shitty friend and then expect other people to respect you and not talk shit.
You have to set the bar or else you're just being hypocritical

>>16913896
The problem is that more you trust to other people, more power they have over you. And since people with power use that power they will betray you easily. Make a stronger relationship, go ahead. But the risk and consequences are high.

People is not 100% supportive and people cant keep their mouth shut 100% of the time with you. That's a truth i know, and you dont. You are welcome, now you know.

>>16913903
Then THOSE motherfuckers who hear you and then they tell everyone, those are the toxic people and traitors you shall avoid. Those stupid idiots who reveal everything...

>>16913908
You haven't made good friends.
I have friends who have never told a soul about some of the things that I told them.

That vulnerability is what makes the relationship strong.you're right that relationships die all the time, ones that were once powerful. If a relationship does, you risk having your secrets exposed.

But that's something you should account for before you decide to reveal close secrets. I only make friends with people who are mature enough to keep my secrets even if we have a fight or are not friends anymore.
I'm sorry that your experiences thus far have made you so opposed to trusting people, but there are a few people out there who are actually people of quality. I'd say it's between 0.1% and 0.5% of the people I've met in my life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxnaPa8ohmM

people can tell people whatever I say. if i said it, I mean it, it's what's up.

my word actually means something. if i say you're a racist cunt guess what, you're a racist cunt. I'll still work with you if I have no choice but I'm sure that person knows and has been told such before.

I say someone is screwing me and I'm pissed and some stalking cunt decides to use that to stir shit up? that's what's up and I'm gonna tell that person anyways.

more than likely I'm baiting shit to see who's up to what. I know who talks to who about what and for how much. this isn't a problem for me, and there is nothing these people can do that is going to seriously affect me or hurt me.

>>16913908
You haven't made good friends.
I have friends who have never told a soul about some of the things that I told them.

That vulnerability is what makes the relationship strong.you're right that relationships die all the time, ones that were once powerful. If a relationship does, you risk having your secrets exposed.

But that's something you should account for before you decide to reveal close secrets. I only make friends with people who are mature enough to keep my secrets even if we have a fight or are not friends anymore.
I'm sorry that your experiences thus far have made you so opposed to trusting people, but there are a few people out there who are actually people of quality. I'd say it's between 0.1% and 0.5% of the people I've met in my life.

But to meet friends of quality, you have to offer friendship of quality.

I am extremely considerate of my friends who I really care about. I plan birthday parties that are tailored to their liking every year, I have real talks with them about feelings, thoughts, and ideas. I never talk badly about someone to them- if I have an issue with someone who pissed me off, I talk about how what they did hurt my feelings, but I never go to a friend like ranting about some bitch. I've always kept my friends secrets, even from my other best friends, parents, and boyfriend. If my friend and I fight, I acknowledge and validate their feelings, and resolve the issue in a way that will prevent it from happening again in the future.

You can't be a shirt my friend and expect people who are mature and trustworthy to flock to you.

>>16913915
Are you talking about random people who overhear? Why are you talking about sensitive issues in front of people who you know you can't trust. Do that shit in a secluded environment only with individuals who you know have your back

>>16913923
Then between 0.1% and 0.5% havent betrayed you yet. They will betray you and destroy you.

Hahaha poor idiot

>>16913935
I think maybe your problem is that you don't have conviction in what you say. if you do, then fuck who knows what you say.

>>16913936
>Are you talking about random people who overhear? Why are you talking about sensitive issues in front of people who you know you can't trust. Do that shit in a secluded environment only with individuals who you know have your back


Sir, you have just gave me a lesson. THANK YOU. but the secluded enviroment is not safe, will never be.

>>16913937
Are you really so close minded to make an assumption about billions of people based on what, a handful of betrayals?

And as I said- it sounds like you arn't a very good friend, so I'm not surprised that you've never experienced a real trustworthy relationship.

I hope that you can one day, but you never will if you stop trusting people. Are you really willing to give up that level of friendship because you got burned? That's cowardly. You're probably only in like your 20's- if that. Stop trying to act like some wise old sage, you have no idea what you're talking about

What OP says is 100% true. That doesn't mean live your life in paranoia of everyone around you, it means that you have to always have a plan B. Be smart enough to know what to do when the unforeseen happens.

>>16913953
i have been for so many time, but now i am done. and yes i am willing to give up that level of friendship with people. i will always keep my distance from now on. THEY ENVY. THEY FUCKING ENVY. If they want a life with lies... they are going to get it.

Even if your 40+ year old friend gets mad at you.... ha! he/she will surely cast doom upon you baby. accept it.

>>16913967
Agree with you.
Also, remember what OP said at the end: "Be careful"

Now that i think about it... OP is right

>>16914024
he is for the most part. not all people are like that. again, if you have conviction in what you say, who cares who knows it.

also, people starting shit is useful. knowing who exactly is acting like a bitch, and where they are is very nice. they can't help themselves. then you know who doesn't need to be around you.

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>>16913726
Im disregarding this because I don't trust advice from my enemies.

You should all do the same and disregard this as well.

>>16914082
ENEMY SPOTTED

Don't live a life where you have to rely on others being confidential to you.

>>16913726
This advice will keep you alive, OP, but it will not make you happy. The cognitive load is simply to high: people need to be able to rest their brains and hearts sometimes, or they go nuts.

Trust, but trust deliberately. Be aware of who you trust, and why you trust them: any reasons are acceptable, but you must know what they are. Know what risks are acceptable for you and what aren't, and if none are acceptable, revisit your approach to evaluating them, because that way lies madness.

Stalking bitch here!

Fuck yeah I'll "stalk" a cunt like you. Because baby, you can fuck with a lot of people and I know you have but you CANNOT fuck with me and get away with it.

And now you know that.

>>16913976
So a 40+ year old "friend" is supposed to take some 20 year old's shit lying down?

I'm guessing that you're a rapidly aging former pretty boy who thinks he can fuck his way through the world without consequence.

well, welcome to the real world, baby boy. You treat people like shit, they will try to fuck you up.