Hello /adv/.
How do you get pass what you are?
Background:
>served in the army
>shit happened
>go to therapy
>dig deeper
>figure out that i miss being in the service
>dig even deeper
>figure out that what I miss the most was that when i was in uniform that's what I was, not a Hispanic, but just soldier. another number
>therapist and I kind of reach the same conclusion, a lot of self-confidence issues come from hating myself and what I am
How do I start to get pass this?
Have any other anons dealt with being self-hating?
Also, would disconnecting a bit help? It seems that today's world is slowly shifting back to "what you are " and away from "who are you".
What would be different if you were not Hispanic?
That is a good question, and I wish I could reliably answer it.
It could all just be perception. Maybe. Most of my experiences as a Hispanic have been pretty shit. Have gone into shops and had guards follow me, or pretend like they aren't scoping me out. Fuck, I just wanted to get some pepto. House sat for a friend who lived in a predominantly white neighborhood. I was excited to be in a new place. Couldn't enjoy it because whenever I went for a walk to just enjoy the place, others looked at me like I there mug a person.
I have my best to not judge others but the older I get and the more negative things seem to stick, the more racist I can feel myself getting.
