this year is huge for me but there is so much going on in my life right now and I can't take it. My dad has cancer, sister is fighting mental illness, we're well off but lately the way we've been living is like we're broke because of everything that's been going on, i have to work hard in all my studies this year because they determine what university courses I'm eligible for, etc, but I've realised I want to be an electronic musician and I know that's not a reasonable ambition and I just feel like I'm going to be a low life who amounts to nothing. Most of the time I can handle the stress and pressure and troubled home life well but I also have feelings for a close friend of the same sex which obviously is confusing and terrible and I don't know how they feel about me anymore since we had a falling out over it and now we have sort of fixed things and he still wants to hang out but I just feel like there is a huge rift forming between us and I'm too afraid to say anything in case I fuck up the relationship with the one person I care about. I'm losing the motivation to live, there is so much going on it gets so tempting to just run away or something. I feel like my biggest issue right now is the relationship I have with the friend I have feelings for though, even though there's so much worse going on, I am so overwhelmed and stressed and just in so much pain. Please help me
Please, please help me
>>16909879
Take time off from school and spend time with your dad. You won't regret it.
>>16910034
I can't, it's not possible. That's not my main issue right now, he'll likely be fine, it's just very stressful.
>>16909879
I can't tell you anything about your other issues, but I can tell you that you can and should chase your passion of making music. I've watched too many good people fuck up their lives choosing a "logical" career, and only realizing just how much of a waste it all was when it was too late. Make the right choice now, and if you try hard enough you'll see an incredible payoff in later life.
>>16910238
Yeah...over the next 4 weeks I'm going to try to create a track that I really like, and release it. I've already made quite a name for myself online, so it won't be difficult to get some kind of level of mild success with it. Ive taught myself to use Logic Pro X and Ableton Live 9
Your relationship with your friend is not likely to work out. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's true. The reason why is because college friendships tend to be fleeting, as everyone is still young and just kind of "bumping into" others socially. This lack of social experience creates drama, and excessive emotion, which creates awkwardness when you're together. Eventually, someone bails bc of that awkwardness. You're lucky you have other stuff to keep your attention, because the friendship is probably on its way out.
>>16910696
I dont know, it was me who really did everything to save it, and now I think he's putting in the effort to maintain it by inviting me out a lot, even as friends i think we mean a lot to each other, and it wasn't awkward last time we hung out, and we're hanging out again soon. Mostly, I just notice that we talk a lot less often online, which sucks.. I dont know, I often find myself getting really moody over it and confused as to how he feels, the only thing stopping me from asking about it is the fear that we'll have another falling out and the friendship will be over, which would hurt me a lot. At one point they told me they felt the same. But then after this falling out, I don't know anymore.
