aggressive in bed
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
My boyfriend recently told me he wants me to be more aggressive when we have sex. I have no idea what to do because I initially thought he was into the tender slow stuff we usually do.
He also told me he likes it when I order him around but I'm not sure if it's related.
Can anyone please give me tips on how to be aggressive when we have sex? I tried watching porn to have a better understanding but it seems too bdsm
>>16871336
ask him. hes willing to talk about it. so ask. say
>did you want some bdsm type thing? or do you just mean you want me to be more active i.e. riding your cock as oppsoed to laying there and getting fucked. dirty talk? roleplay?
go into all the details. use this as an opportunity to explore your own sexuality as well. talk about alternating fantasies maybe
Did he mean aggressive or assertive? Talk it over with him OP.
>>16871342
I'm confident that he meant aggressive, he really enjoys it when I use teeth and take the lead
>>16871340
I think I might, I just really don't want to disappoint him and make him feel like I'm uncomfortable with it. I'm almost always on top- in fact I've only been on bottom 4-5 times in a our one year relationship.
Also I used to wrestle with my ex before sex does anyone think that that's what he'd like?
How about you ask him rather than let us fuck your mind with ideas that have no base in what he actually wants? You don't have to do exactly what he says. But just gauge how far he wants you to go.
>>16871354
>wrestle
I'm confident he'd enjoy to be held down at least, how much he struggles determines if it's wrestling or not.
Go to gentle femdom/role reversal thread in /d/. It has everything you need to know for that kind of sex.
Why does he want *you* to be aggressive? The guy is the one who is supposed to want to be aggressive in bed. I bet he's just a lazy fuck.
>>16871444
>supposed to
Soo entitled.
>>16871452
I'm a guy, fuckface. I have no respect for dudes who can't be men in bed.
>>16871456
>Implying anyone cares about your respect, kek
>>16871456
why do you care about what people do in private, bruh?
>>16871456
Yeah so much better when the chick lays there and takes it right bro?
That way you can just fall asleep out of boredom.
when he's about to come, put your finger in his buthole and ram his prostate gland. he will come harder than ever before and thank you.
>>16871336
I think what he really means is that he wants you to be more assertive.
A lot of women tend to be somewhat passive and submissive when it comes to sex, meaning that they'll just leave it to the man to take the initiative and lead when having sex. This is all fine and dandy but if it's all you do it can leave the man question himself whether you are just being nice or actually love to have sex with him, sure you can keep telling him that you enjoy sex with him but actions speak louder than words so it's good to take a more assertive role every now and than.
Try taking the initiative every now and then by doing stuff that makes him think that you desire him, like when you're feeling really horny just rub his crotch or squeeze his ass through his pants telling him that you want him in. Or by pushing him on to a bed or couch to get on top of him to kiss him and undress him like you'd want him really bad. Then when having sex don't just lie there passively instead take a more active role by caressing his body don't be afraid to take the lead every now and then to change the position to something where you handle the movement and depth.
Stuff like that makes me hard as diamonds.
>>16871771
Do this OP. I have always naturally been very assertive and maybe even a tad agressive in bed. Guys LOVE that.
>>16871444
>supposed too
just like a man is supposed to put his coat in a pool of water so the girl doesn't have to make her shoes dirty?
>>16871778
>guys love that
Yep, can confirm. It's great.
>>16871778
>Guys LOVE that.
I am like you and my boyfriend hates it. I always have to act way more submissive than I naturally am. One day he freaked out because I wanted to be on top.
Life is sad.
>>16871336
OP, do this >>16871771
Eventually, if your boyfriend wants more, try to be a bit more aggressive every time you have sex with him and see how he reacts.
>>16871832
Is he such a little bitch outside the bedroom too?
>>16871832
>I am like you and my boyfriend hates it. I always have to act way more submissive than I naturally am. One day he freaked out because I wanted to be on top.
Life is sad.
well people simply have a tendency to be dominant, submissive or switch in bed, regardless of how far they take it and whether it stays with a pat on the ass, a little bite in the ear(seriously that's one of the greates acts of small dominance there is!), a ticklefight or it goes full straitjacket strapon party
It seems odd to state such a preferrence early on while dating cause then it seems like all is about sex, but it can be quite a determinant for whether you feel fulfilled with each other or not. Also it is kind of taboo for men to admit thatt they like to be sub.
either way be open about it, talk and see what both of you like, sex is supposed to be fun and it doesn't matter if it seems a bit weird. Also having a strong preferrence for a certain kind of sexual act doesn't in any way imply that he finds sex more important or doesnt care about love or such.
>>16871832
What a whiny bitch your bf is. Time to manhandle his faggot ass.
I mean, come on! My bf isn't a submissive cuck, but we like to switch stuff up. Sometimes he's the one leading, sometimes i am. Sometimes we just have slow, intimate and loving sex. Why is this so hard?
>>16871879
Agree with that anon.
and i think A LOT more guys would like to be submissive sometimes but think it will make them look unmanly. This just puzzles my mind. My bf and i are pretty vanilla (yet). He's a guy you would never think could be into being dominated a bit. He's 6'1' and heavy into lifting. And i am a girl you would NEVER expect to be dominant in bed. I'm some "blonde and blue-eyed, petite 5'1' girl".
I actually find that pretty hillarious.
It wouldn't cross my mind to think less of him or his manliness just because he nuts in seconds when i fingerfuck his ass or because i like to "manhandle" him as far as that's physically possible. But the most important thing is probably compatibility, as this other anon already etablished.
>>16871881
How do you lead?
Are you aggressive or dominant?
>>16871866
He's pretty awesome, he just prefers very slow and loving sex, or, if we get a bit more rough, he wants to be the dominant one.
I can live with that, I just wish he was a bit more open. Not a dealbreaker in any way.
>>16871881
I'm a switch too, but he is not.
I'm not into humiliation, pain or anything extreme, and I wouldn't like to be with a complete sub. I like making him feel wanted, teasing a lot. I like taking my time while I'm giving him head and such, taking it to the point where he can't control himself, I like controlling the pace and being on top. Nothing really extreme.
>>16871890
How do you manhandle him?
Is he submissive or a switch?
>>16871895
>>16871906
As i stated, we are just starting to warm up to each other.
I'm not agressive or dominant i guess (but i AM into femdom. This might take a while to shine trough though). I would say i'm assertive.
I just like to use him for my pleasure. As in, sit on his face and make him lick me, pin him down and rub my clit over his dick till i cum, "throw" him on the bed and climb on top of him the moment he enters the door. Basically, i just let my lust go wild. And he's REALLY into that.
He's a bit of a switch. But def more into being led. I think it's kind of a relieve for him to not be expected to be the "dominant alpha" for once.
>>16871903
I'm a lot like you femanon. I mean, i can tot see how this might lead to more kinky stuff in the future, but we take babysteps and i really love that. This way we have a lot of exciting stuff to explore, even if we stay together for a looong while. It makes the thought of spending the rest of your life with one and the same partner less scary, kek
>>16871890
So you finger his asshole till he cums and he's not a submissive gay cuck?
I wouldn't be so sure.
>>16871936
Yeah, you know, there's the prostata inside. And also the added excitement of the thought of having a finger up your anus. I'm pretty sure that it can't be gay or cuck if only a straight guy and a straight girl are involved.
>>16871942
He's still a submissive cuck.
>>16871944
If you think so. what's your point?
>>16871923
You sound outright dominant not assertive. You're lucky to find a guy who loves it. Is he dominant alpha outside the bedroom?
>>16871947
Meh, it's not like i'm putting a chastity device on his dick and whip his ass red and raw.
Well, yes, sort of. Definitely not a submissive guy though
>>16871961
Facesitting is really dominant, my boyfriend always shoots down the idea. How did you start? Did it just come naturally?
>>16871994
This one was actually his initiative. I think a guy must really be into stuff like that otherwise i will not do it! He was going down on me and just casually flipped me over one time. I was instantly into it, so win-win
>>16872023
Mang, lucky you.
>>16872031
I sure am. But i know that and also apprecciate it ;)
>>16871947
I'd say it's more about the girl showing some visible lust and sexual desire towards you that really excites a lot of men, It's actually completely different from being submissive. Face sitting is just one form of oral sex and as such very stimulating for men with thing for female asses.
I also have this thing for visible and audible female pleasure hearing girls to react and moan from sexual pleasure (even if it's clearly exaggerated) really gets me no matter what whose being the dominant one. It's also a good way for my girl to signal the guy when you want to keep him going.
Push him ontoa bed and rip his pants off.
Hold him down with your hand and putting all your weight into it while you line your ass up with his dick.
If you can, get his dick all the way in and make sure he can feel your butt collide with his nuts.
Ride him like your a you're only doing it for a paycheck. Assault his cock and balls with your loins.
Make him suck your nipples, ot hell rape his tounge with yours.
Maybe even bring up pegging so you can understand the male position.
>>16872175
Meh, i always do that. Bring me some new ideas anon
>>16872323
And your boyfriend still wants you to be more aggressive?
>>16872344
Well, he jokingly talked about getting his ass whipped. Repeatedly. I assume he's actually serious about that. But i'm npt going to spank his ass red out of the blue, kek
I was once very near to having a real slave. We met a few times, he sent some humiliating pics, we shared fantasies. We never went trough though cause i met my bf. At that time i really got into femdom. I wanted to find the right mindset. I've read the classic literatur, watched a LOT of high quality femdom, and so on. It's actually quiet fascinating. I think i would make a really neat dominatrix. Meh, maybe some day
>>16872367
Are you op?
>>16872381
No. ah! Sorry i confused you, kek
>>16872391
If he wants more aggresive, start sexual wrestling him.
Ultimate surrender style
>>16872403
Like that girl that almost crushes his head with her thights? Kek, nah son
>>16871336
There's a pornstar named Flower Tucci, watch some of her videos. Not what she does, like anal, just some of her mannerisms. Or Sasha Grey, maybe.
