Hey, /adv/.
I've been dating my bf for 8 months now. I am 21 and he is 25. I'm going to college this fall, which will be 2hrs from his place. I want to have the college experience (ex. Joining a sorority, living with roomates, joining clubs and making new friends)
I can't, for the life of me, have casual sex. I also can't drink because I'm small and throw up after having 1-2 shots of alcohol.
My bf is really worried that I will change if I join a sorority and that I will meet someone "better".
My questions are:
>what are your experiences with relationships were you were living 2-3hrs apart?
>how is the sorority culture like? ( I want to join a business sorority, if it makes any difference)
Thank you all for the input!
My advice is to break it off. It will make your "college experience" that much easier and enjoyable, and spare your so-called boyfriend a lot of heartache. Yes, you will be fucking other dudes eventually, so may as well do it with a clean conscience.
I had a similar experience as you, but I was in the guy's situation.
It went to shit.
GL.
>>16824805
It's nearly impossible to keep a relationship together over multiple years when you are young and add to that you are not together on campus, the odds against. It has more to do with the proximity than it does joining a sorority. Unless you really believe your bf is who you will marry it best you guys end it amicability.
>>16824923
OP here.
Can you tell us your story? Why did you guys end up breaking up?
>>16824947
Good point. I don't see us having a future because I am not thinking about getting married until I graduate and find a god job. Does that mean I don't see him as a future husband or am is it because I'm not ready to marry yet?
Long distance is horrific. My husband and I recently reunited after a year apart. It is not for the faint of heart.
Frankly, when the person is right and the time is right, it comes together. Say you break up, if he's the one, you'll find each other again. If he isn't, then you'll be glad you were up front and honest and ended things like an adult. GL
>>16824831
>I am a stupid slut so you definitely are too!
bitch
>>16824805
Frat guy here who was in a LDR 2 hours away that i broke off. You only get to be an undergrad once, do you really want to spend it feeling guilty for having fun while your bf pouts all the time? Most LDR people I know would hermit in their dorms until the weekend when they visited their S/O. I thought it was so lame.
As for Greek Life, its very involved and very fun. Its best to embrace it all the way, you'll be thankful you did. College is about personal growth and doing whats best for you.
>>16825030
>college is about vapid hedonism
I hope that student loan debt was worth it ;)
If you truly love each other then you know you'll stay faithful and you have nothing to worry about.. If either of you are that insecure then it's probably gonna be a bust.
>>16825038
Let me enjoy my 4 year vacation
>>16824805
Every sorority is different, as is ever chapter of each one.
In my experience having many friends on the Greek band wagon, the whole "sorority girls being giant skanks wearing right mini skirts, getting trashed, and fucking everyone" is pretty false... Most of the ones I've met are really religious and uptight. But like I said they're not all the same. You have to rush and find one you like (if at all)
As for doing all the other stuff with a bf... You're fine man. Especially if you don't go to parties or drink. People your age aren't really into the whole frat party every night deal, they're typically busy with work and school an spend their weekends at actual bars, house parties, events, or I'm small groups.
>>16824986
doesn't matter. you are only in this 8 months, not expected to be ready but why put your life on hold if this is not "the one" without question
>>16825038
Honestly, the people posting make me sick. I'm on my third year and spend nearly all my time studying so um actually prepared for a job. As for parties I just hand out with some friends. The college lifestyle people here are referring to is basically being a stupid slut and waste of a human being for 4 years. If OP and her boyfriend are decent people then it very well could work. If she wants to spend her time partying then she should save her boyfriend the trouble and leave him.
You're going to change with or without a sorority because it's a new set of experiences to even be there. And of course you're going to meet someone better. You're going to meet at least one guy who is as handsome as he is, as fun as he is, as admirable as he is AND that guy will be there every day. You'll build real experiences and memories together. When you have all of the same positives and no unnecessary negatives, how could that not be better?
I don't care if you go there, ignore the sorority life and just sit in your room sober all day. It's still the right move to leave your relationship.
>>1682480
OP, what >>16825000 said
No matter what, the relationship won't survive through these years. If you keep it up as long as you can it will probably turn to shit as many other pointed out.
However, something you can do is have a conversation with him now. End it, because during that situation it isn't possible for you two to keep up a normal relationship. If he is the right one, and if he would've survived after those years apart, then I'm 100% sure he would be there when you came back. If not, you would've ended it smoothly and before any shit hits the fan.
>Joining a sorority
>Part of the college experience
It CAN be... but even the "nice girl" sororities are only thought of that way because they do their trashy shit in the privacy of a frat house, and even on campuses where greek life is a big thing only maybe 1/3 students is involved.
I can almost guarantee you that, sororstitute or not, you will cheat on your boyfriend. Alcohol and meeting lots of people is going to give you the opportunity to do so, and eventually you will succumb to temptation. That's why people who don't cheat on their spouses or significant others don't do what you have described.
But you aren't going to listen to me because you aren't here to be told that you'll almost certainly lose your current relationship. You are here looking to be told that Greek Life and college life is a fun, wholesome experience that definitely doesn't involve alcohol, drugs, and casual sex with strangers, and plenty of people in this thread have said that so you're going to take it at face value. But in a year, if it comes to mind, I want you to think back on this post and remember it.
When you get "blackout drunk" at a frat party and "make out" with a stranger I want you to think back to this. When you get into a fight with your boyfriend because he's suspicious, you're guilty, and the tension is eating you both alive I want you to think back to this. When you break his heart because you finally decide to end things instead of dragging them on longer I would appreciate it if you thought back to this. Why? Because you went in being told exactly what would happen and you knowingly chose to do it in spite of what we're telling you. And when you think back to this you will know that you and only you are responsible for the consequences of your decision.
>My bf is really worried that I will change if I join a sorority and that I will meet someone "better".
It's already over. He's an insecure fruit and you're gonna lose respect for him and cheat on him. You may think it'll never happen and you're in love and all that shit, but you will. Do him a favor and break it off.
>>16824805
>I want to join a sorority.
lol @ this dumb slut
>>16826147
>I can almost guarantee you that, sororstitute or not, you will cheat on your boyfriend. Alcohol and meeting lots of people is going to give you the opportunity to do so, and eventually you will succumb to temptation. That's why people who don't cheat on their spouses or significant others don't do what you have described.
My wife and I were high school sweet hearts. We went to the same college, both ended up in Greek life, and the closest we ever came to cheating was bringing a girl back to our place together.
Weak people, unhappy people, and liars cheat.
>>16826251
Keep telling yourself that, man. You know deep down she probably got some side dick and you regret not getting side puss.
>>16826255
Meh. Ten years of marriage, an eighteen year over all relationship, and a couple of dozen third wheels over the years gives you some perspective. If she was looking for side dick theres been opportunity. She's given me hall passes before, I've offered her them because I felt like it was the right thing to do but she's never taken advantage of them.
Heres the thing that being an adult in a healthy relationship teaches you: it doesn't matter. Breaking up is easy, you know?
>>16824805
>bf is worried you will meet someone better
why are you with someone who's THAT insecure?
