Help me fix myself :( Where do i even begin?
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TL;DR
I'm a mess both physically and mentally. How do i start all over, where do i even begin?
So here's what we're working with : I'm a 18 year old male, needless to say still a virgin, not a kissless one though. I was slightly overweight a couple years ago and even though i lost a lot of weight i didnt lose that "I'm- a- disgusting- worthless-shit" mindset. My selfesteem is pretty much nonexistent even though I'm not all that bad looking 6.3~7.0 on a good day.
My parents are overly protective and strict and that is smothering me ..i can't even go out without them knowing about it. I don't drink or smoke and i don't associate with people who do, but that's mostly to make my parents happy. I give up a lot of shit just to make them happy.
I live in a really really really small village some 20 miles away from the city where i go to school so after classes end i get back home and literally spend the day studying. Not because i enjoy doing so but that's the only thing that gets me distracted from reality. And that made me the outcast I'm now.
I live in my own small world that has nothing to do with reality..
Fat me was embarrassed to wear only a t-shirt cuz manboobs..so i unintentionally created a habit of wearing literally the same clothes that fit well everyday.. That has stuck with me.
I don't do the social mediaz because of all this, plus i only know about 30 people at school.. tops .
I've never had a girlfriend even though we were messing with a girl a while back but my paranoia kicked in and i thought that she was just mocking me, that she was giving me attention out of boredom, just for fun. So i blew her off..
And I'm tired of all this.. I wanna change my life.. Start over.
But i have no clue how to go about it.
Do i start by getting fit and then address my social "disability" or ..?
Any advice, thoughts, books..
..I gotta do this no matter what
Get a part-time job.
