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Sick shit, not for fragile stomachs. >be me > Home from

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Sick shit, not for fragile stomachs.
>be me
> Home from work and just had a great afternoon coffee fuckyea.jpg
> Fuck, no keys and have to wait 1hr for roommate for spare set
> Run around the yard trying to find a spare set sometimes in yard
> Give up
> Really need to shit.
> Tell myself, im ok, ill walk to a shopping centre close by there
> REALLY NEED TO SHIT
> calm down, please calm down
> FUCKING HELL I NEED TO @(#$*&#*()@$& SHIT
> omg omg omg cant get in, what do I do waht do I do
> notice lots and lots of mulch
> say to myself, oh no... please no...
> Proceed to plead with my body dont make me do this, please....
> End up shitting on the mulch (something in me just died).
> End up doing monster turd which is stuck together
> try to use hose to rinse it into garden - wont come out of mound OMFG.
> Flys start to come....
> Toss some more mulch over it to stop flies from coming - proceed to hose it down more
> Looks completly normal, except for the patches i removed to put on another heap on the lawn look like a bush turkey has been around.
> feelsgoodman.jpg
> realise that dad was recently gardening here, and will probably be again soon.
fuck.
So, is there a way to completly irradicate the shit without it looking too obvious....? How long do i have to wait for it to decompose?
>>
Should have dug a small hole and buried it. Mulch never works for this.
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