I just need to know

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Go to an Alateen / Al-Anon meeting. It's a support group for relatives of alcoholics.

>>16662227
Never heard about this before. Thanks for telling me.

>>16662212
I hated my father until I stopped feeling anything for him at all.

I had more reaction when I ran out of cereal than when someone told me he died.

I don't regret it at all. I still think he's a total scumbag.

Don't worry too much about it anon. Whatever you do is probably fine. Though it might be more difficult if you have pleasant memories of him as well.

>>16662253
Just a quick note on this, it was only 2-3 years ago that he died, I have no idea if I'll feel the same way in 10-20 years, but as of now I definitely have no regrets.

I've probably not helped too much, sorry. At least I bumped the thread for you though!

>>16662265

>as of now I definitely have no regrets.

you will.

OP here. I think that maybe I might have needed to hear that it's okay to detach myself.
I don't want to regret anything, but I think it's a little late to try for a real relationship with him.

>>16662280
Out of interest, do you speak from experience?

I really can't even imagine having regrets, I don't think I have even a single good memory of him.

>>16662253
Since you seem to have some experience with this, I do have one more question.
How do I know if something is abuse, or if the man is just a bastard? Any advice on this?
Not that knowing will make a difference, but I can't stop thinking about it.

>>16662212
I have similar feelings too op, my mom has narcissistic personality disorder and has been abusive since I remember, but sometimes she can be really sweet, and I know she had a shitty childhood. I can't hate her completely, but I can't love her normally either.

You aren't alone

>>16662302
>do you speak from experience?

yes. don't sweat it though. you still have a good 20-25 years before it happens and it will be subtle.