>GF enjoys it when im more dominant in bed
>She always tells me to go harder, faster, bite her more, spank her harder etc
>Tells me she wants to be totally submissive and absolutely dominated
EVERY FUCKING TIME SHE WILL END UP GETTING SO TURNED ON, THAT SHE WANTS TO GET ON TOP AND RIDE ME, AND CONTROL IT, AND ENDS UP GOING SUPER SLOW BECAUSE ITS MORE SENSITIVE FOR HER
This really kills my rhythm and breaks my feeling of dominance.
At times ive told her no, thrown her back down and overpowered her, but she always "breaks character" and asks if she can go back on top to get herself off.
Its really fucking hard to be dominant, when she attempts to do what she wants, and effectively asks me to star fish while she goes at her own speed on my dick.
Aside from chaining her to the bed, how do I address this, and make her remain in submissive character ?
>>16637798
...tell her that?
Wait. Is it you or her that wants her to be totally submissive/you to be totally dominant?
Your greentext says it's her preference, which makes me ask why you hate it when she's enjoying herself.
>>16637807
She switches in the middle though. That's the thing.
She's a switch. She likes both submissive and dominant roles. You can't "make" her submissive-only. I'm sorry. You can ask her to behave only as submissive in order to do you a favor but that's what it is, a favor. It's something where you say please and thank you and then you pay her back in one way or another. It's not something you are owed. It's not something she is doing wrong. If you are asking for advice on how to control her sexual preferences, you can't.
>>16637812
you didn't answer his question
why are you so insecure that you don't want to get ridden?
You're letting your insecurity get in the way of good sex, which is pretty dumb
>>16637812
people usually switch positions during sex
>>16637860
She constantly asks for me to dominate her and have my way, and when I am getting into it, she often switches and wants to be in a dominant position herself, and then controls the intensity and speed of the sex.
This basically reduces me to a star-fish position. She doesnt even like me to thrust when shes on top because she wants to control the speed.
It entirely goes against being asked to be dominant and remain in a dominant mood.
>>16637870
so does her asking you to be dominant
if she asks for you to be dominant and you act accordingly, you have already acquiesced to her request. Why is it then a problem that she gets on top to control her own stimulation? Its the only way some girls can get close to cumming.
Is this about her or you? You're saying that she wants you to be more dominant, why are you then getting sulky because she wants something else too?
I assume you're cumming at some point?
>>16637891
Are you fucking retarded.
He has clearly said multiple times she is asking him to be dominant. HE is meant to do what he wants to her, overpower her, use her, fuck her etc.
Its clearly hard for him to do that when she wants to change position and go at her own pace.
That is not what a sub should do. They should have no say in the matter or actions at hand. They are there to be fucked and be on the receiving end, not dictating positions and speed of sex
>>16637900
Are you? His point was that by "asking" him to be dominant, he's really being submissive. Her taking direct control isn't really a change, she's been in control the entire time.
>>16637924
Jesus fuck, you must be a delight to talk to in real life with your semantics to win an argument.
Its not uncommon for girls to ask to be dominated and be overpowered because its a turn on for them. By asking for it does not make them a dom themselves when they are being overpowered.
You dont seem to have the intellect to disassociate the request from the character traits she is being asked to play.
>>16637933
Domination and submission are about power dynamics, right?
The fact that all of this is for her, at her request, matters.
If he has a problem with it be should fuckin' tell her, because right now he's just doing what she wants and isn't enjoying it.
Tell me I'm wrong.
>>16637933
>You dont seem to have the intellect to disassociate the request from the character traits she is being asked to play.
Sometimes doms want to get off by topping from the bottom. Not really uncommon. Just asking him to be dominant in bed doesn't mean she's a sub..
>>16637939
OP Here, yes you are wrong.
Ive explicity asked her if she ever wants to be dominant and attempt to be in control with bondage gear, but she says no as its not something she enjoys. She prefers to be used.
You cant seem to get that what I have been asking is that she is asking to basically be used like a piece of meat, but then she wants to get on top. I dont have an issue with this position, its just when she is on top, she asks me to lie still, she doesnt want me thrusting, because she enjoys slowly sliding up and down on my dick due to sensitivity. Its not a position that lends itself well for me being dominant.
I take it you have never been in a position of dominant sex other wise you would understand the breaking of rhythm and power roles here.
You cannot be the dominant one when you are on your back, as still as a plan whilst someone rides you.
It should be me doing sexual activities to her, not the other way around.
>>16637949
So then what advice are you asking for? You either stop doing everything she wants, ie remaining dominant, or you don't.
You can't get through this with a trick, you'll either have to convince her to try it differently before hand or refuse to switch during and see what happens.
I haven't been in your position, you are absolutely right. But there isn't a solution here that doesn't involve you confronting her on this in some way.
You do what she wants all the time. Why not ask her to do what you want some time?
>>16637802
This. If you always allow her to climb on top anyway, she's going to assume you don't mind.
Tell her it really kills your mood when she does that and ask her to stay submissive next time. Promise you'll make her cum hard one way or another. If needed: compromise. One day you get to be fully dominant, the other day you'll do it her way. That way you both get what you want.
>>16637933
Its not semantics
The argument is literally
>My girlfriend tells me to be dominant so she can get off then she tells me to do something else so she can get off, whut do I do??
Fucking communicate. Your girlfriend is telling you what she wants. You haven't mentioned once what you want. Do you ever mention what you want to your girlfriend?
The fact that you're physically dominant doesn't change the fact that your girlfriend is telling you what to do.
>>16637949
>Its not a position that lends itself well for me being dominant.
yes but why the fuck is this an issue?
You are being dominant as per her request.Is your motivation here that you want to pleasure your girlfriend or is your motivation that you just want to simplify the act of sex into one single position/dynamic?
>I take it you have never been in a position of dominant sex other wise you would understand the breaking of rhythm and power roles here.
Get off it. You sound like a child.
>>16637802
>>16637807
>>16637820
>>16637860
>>16637891
jesus christ, you are fucking cretins
>>16637817
OP, this is your answer. she's a switcher
>not just pumping away when she's on top of you
She can't control your hips, just like how you can't control hers.
>>16638114
>forgo logic and nuance in favour of dumb internet terminology
Putting people in reductive boxes marked sub/dominant/switch only makes you confused when their behaviour isn't reductive.
OPs girlfriend obviously wears the trousers. She tells him what to do and he does it. The fact that she tells him to be dominant, and he puts on his dominant hat and slaps her about a bit doesn't make him anything more than a child playing at being dominant, she is still telling him what to do. OP fools himself into thinking that he is the alpha-dog and then gets insecure when she wants to ride him a little. Shes just a woman trying to achieve an orgasm.
>>16637798
I don't know.
