Asexualfag here. Why do so many people break up? Why is it that a lot of relationships do not last?
Pic unrelated
>>16632295
Temptation and/or the lust wears off.
Because we live in the age of Kali Yuga.
Sometimes you end up not being able to stand the other person. It gets to the point where being alone or even death seems better. So you break up and life doesn't suck as much.
>>16632316
OP here. Why the sudden change though? As an aseuxalfag I really don't get it. Doesn't love conquer everything?
>>16632331
It used to.
Not anymore though.
>>16632385
Well I am confused...
>>16632331
>relationships
>love
Haha, oh wow. What made you think those things had anything to do with one another?
>>16632390
I know there are cases where people date for sex/money, but surely most people date for love?
>>16632411
You're in for a rough life, kid.
>>16632426
I said I am asexual. I don't get what relationships are about.
So why do people date if they are not in love?
Boardem. Or that cunt just wants to date jonny who is an uggliet weirder version of you.
>>16632432
In all seriousness its fear. People who don't love each other anymore are afraid of being alone.
>>16632432
>So why do people date if they are not in love?
Companionship, wanting to fit in, not looked at as a certain way, loneliness, not wanting get old alone
>>16632443
>>16632447
Is that settling?
>>16632461
Settling is more so lowering your standards a lot in order to avoid some of those things.
>>16632432
The convenience of loneliness
https://youtu.be/K5lka5fgAu0
Barring obvious stuff like cheating or new job opportunities sending you far away, it usually boils down to communication and an unwillingness to negotiate in my experience.
Maybe she feels lonely and the guy feels on the defense for instance, so he's less willing to make more time for her for instance. Or the sex life is weak, and they say things will change, but they're just empty promises.
I think it ties back into people dating just because they're lonely. You're less willing to work with someone you're not really that keen about.
>>16632466
As in a girl dating a 300lbs NEET? Does this really happen? If it does happen, why are there so many virgins on /adv/?
>>16632522
People really date for the sake of dating? Do they feel that "fiery passion of love" that non-asexuals talk about?
>Why do so many people break up?
Because we live in a petty world where anything other than complete sexual ownership of your partner makes you an outcast. It's the curse of monogamy.
If people were just a little bit more lenient, I'm sure a lot of relationships would last longer.
>>16632531
Supply and demand. The supply is higher than the demand.
>>16632539
If you're dating someone you're indifferent about, there won't be any passion. They just think it's preferable to being alone I guess. I'd rather be single and focus on friends than go through that myself.
>>16632531
Sure, but a 300 pound neet probably will get something equivalent in value. Anything else is delusional.
>why are there so many virgins on /adv/?
Take a look at r9k, and you'll see people admit they're obese, have no job, no future yet still demand an 8/10+. They're on the opposite end of the spectrum though. Then they make shit up like the roastie meme.
>>16632553
Shouldn't it be the other way around
>>16632447
I lived with a guy who was a closet homosexual. He didn't know that I knew, and he'd tell me all about how he wants to find a wife, and about this chick he was seeing. The whole time I'm just like, "you phony motherfucker". He knew he loved cock, but chose to live a bullshit life. How did I know? He let me use his laptop a couple of times until I got my own, and for some stupid reason forgot to clear his history, and every time I opened the browser that's the first tab that opens - a grid of boxes showing his proclivity for male genitals. Indian guys, big buff guys, even a website that he had a membership too. You know you've made a commitment when you're paying money to see cocks.
Social pressures are what motivated him I assume. Idealizes the idea of being married with children, probably coveted it as a status symbol.
>>16632590
There is more of a product than is wanted.
500 300 lb. NEETS vs. 100 women with lowered standards.
>>16632594
I have a friend in a lavender marriage. He's pretty gay. It's obvious, he even had a gay guy marry him to his wife. I was the best man. His family is somewhat religious, it made for a slightly odd wedding. His wife always complains that he never wants to have sex, she's posted it on social media and has told me to talk to him several times. I don't care what he is, but the time he offered me a massage I wanted to break his fingers.
>>16632544
Is this bait?
>>16632594
>>16632601
OP here. So, a lot of people just date and marry for the sake of it? Is that why a lot of people are unhappy with their relationships?
>>16632638
>So, a lot of people just date and marry for the sake of it?
That is the essence of it.
>a lot of people
Not everyone mind you
>>16632652
I understand, but sometimes people who date because they are in love break up too. Why is that? And I'm looking for answers besides obvious ones such as cheating and long distance relationships.
>>16632659
People often confuse lust with love. When the shiny package wears off, what's left? The person. Many people choose others for the wrong reasons or seek the wrong qualities.
>>16632666
Yeah. It's tough to see past the emotions of lust and really, genuinely sit down with someone and ask yourself if that's someone you can really love. I know I've never been in love. I used to think that love was easy. It was something that could happen at first sight. But then I realized that wasn't love. Love was whatever's left after the fires of passion fade, and you're left with just two people trying to make sense out of the world, together. If you can't find common ground once the dust settles, you break up. The trick is to be able to forecast that moment.
>>16632666
So I get the impression that true love is hard to find. Is that why people are so hyped about love?
>>16632683
>I know I've never been in love
Are you asexual then?
>>16632688
No, I'm very much heterosexual. I'm just saying that the fire that some people attribute to love isn't really that happily ever after love that people are chasing. It's the preamble to it, but it's not it. And if you think that's all there is, you're destined to fail when it inevitably wears off.
>>16632731
>happily ever after love that people are chasing
What is that kind of love then? Is it similar to other kinds of love?
>>16632331
I thought so...
>asexual
back to tumblr
>>16632737
I don't know. I think it might be like the love you have for your mother or your father, or someone who you have a really close bond to, but I don't think it is exactly like that. It's your best friend, your lover, someone who you can truly be yourself around. All that happy horse shit.
>>16632750
So confused...
>>16632684
I think that's part of it, I also believe that it has to do with media a bit. In TV, movies, etc, there's a lot about finding love and how you'll be happy forever if you find. People think they find it all the time, they're quick to jump into "love" because love is good and people like good things. A lot of the people I went to school with are already married, some are having kids soon or already have kids, most of us aren't even twenty yet. I'm waiting to see what happens with that "love" fades
>>16632773
The drive to procreate is one of the strongest drives we as human beings have. It's no wonder so much attention is focused on love. It's not love - it's the product of love, survival, etc.
>>16632757
Like >>16632683 I know I've never been in love. I think it confused my first gf, I was with her for a year and never said I loved her. I have a new gf now and I think she understands my point of view better.
I can't really define love, but society, pop culture, even other people all point to love as this all powerful idea. I grew up in a religious family and I was taught that God was love.
Whatever love is, most of us are still searching, and some of us have found it. I believe that it'll be apparent when we find it.
Regarding >>16632750 I think there aren't different kinds of love, but just love. That "love" a couple has at the beginning of their relationship is just a honeymoon phase, it'll wear off. The best example of love that I can think of is how parents love their children. It's unconditional, but it's not indestructible
>>16632683
that's nice. so bang on.
after 6 years i'm questioning if we have that common ground. fuck.
There are various factors, and usually it's on a case by case basis. It can generally be said that the romantic idealization of love is one of the rarest experiences and the average relationship is not one that falls under that cute little image. This is a time in which people get in relationships because they think something is missing and think that's what's missing, without regard for the person. A time in which people will say "love" way too early. A time in which people try to convince themselves they love someone, rather than loving them coming naturally. Momentary lust giving rise to a relationship that shouldn't be formed. Stuff like that.
"Love conquers all" is from the romantic idealization of love, but most relationships are not even born from love and either just love or trying to fill a gap with the wrong piece. Like if you took a circle piece and tried to put it in a square slot, for the sake of a simplistic comparison.
People are in a rush. I'm not even saying that love is always used too early, but that's still two different people that need to feel the same way. One person can love the other, doesn't mean that other is going to love them. You can have unrequited love, you can have one-sided love while the other just desperately seeks for something that sticks. In which case the person that does love their partner is just kinda there, and the relationship will eventually falter and break because it was never mutual
