Need help from sexually active people of either gender.
Yet another kissless creep in his 20s. Trying to re-evaluate what I should look for here.
I've accepted that dream girls don't exist, that I'm not much of a catch myself so I need to lower the bar or die alone. What is better to have: a stupid hot girl or "best friend that also has a vagina" but looks like hell. I have plenty of female friends, some have made it clear they want more, but they're all so fucking fat or otherwise unattractive.
So, do you even enjoy sex with someone that is ugly? I mean if you really like them otherwise. Because all my life I've always heard about guys who hate their gf/wife and her dumb friends and her stupid movies and blah blah sob stories about the past that he doesn't care about but puts up with her awful personality because "it ain't gonna suck itself".
But then on the other hand I can think of some people I know who are in really good shape and look good but have big fat or ugly or pockmarked girlfriends, but you can tell they're so happy and always goofing off and just enjoy each other as friends. Then again, maybe they're into BBW or she's satisfying some other fetish somehow, and it really IS just about sex.
I mean I realize I'm not going to meet a girl who totally perfect and is my best friend and smart and likes everything I like and isn't crazy AND is super smoking hot, even if she did exist she wouldn't go for me. So basically in terms of "lowering standards" what should I be less focused on and what should I be more focused on. Is the hot sex worth the arguments and boring basicness, or is sex with an uggo still good because you like them anyway so maybe you can have both if you don't focus on looks.
Plz
I disagree. It's better to be single than to try and make a relationship work with someone incompatible.
You need to be attracted physically, emotionally, and mentally for a successful relationship.
It's true no person or relationship is perfect, but it's not impossible to find someone truly compatible.
>>16629477
D&D and jerking off 4 life.
>>16629869
>You need to be attracted physically, emotionally, and mentally for a successful relationship.
I feel like that's asking a lot and essentially why I'm in this position, girls have jumped my bones in the past and I'd find something wrong somewhere and break it off before it went anywhere.
>>16629477
A compromise.
You can't date someone you find repulsive, and you shouldn't commit to someone who isn't a great friend for you and you feel deeply connected to on an emotional level.
I don't think that a "perfect" girl exists, but finding someone that is great on many levels is perfectly possible.
>>16630108
That's not asking a lot. All of that is crucial for relationship success.
>>16629477
why not raise your own bar instead of lowering theirs?
im not a settle kind of guy. isnt it better to be by yourself than be with someone you arent really into?
go for the fat girl ( not the ugly one ) because being fat can be changed but you can't face a problem that is your face .
>>16630141
>why not raise your own bar instead of lowering theirs?
Well I am working out and losing weight for the past few months but that's about the best I can do. Like I said I'm not that great, I don't make much money and my face is kind of weird. I mean I'm trying but eh. I know average is the best I can get just don't know what to look for.
>>16629477
Looks >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> personality. Looks is what gets you in bed if that's what you're looking for. Even then, looks let you do things and say things that ugly people wouldn't be able to get away with.
>>16630455
No read OP it's not like that. If you can just have one of those things in a partner what will make you happier?
>>16629477
It's all about compromise- but if faced with that choice, it is far better to go for ugly but fun/nice.
1) we will all be ugly and old one day anyway, so this is a reality you have to face sooner or later
2) girls can improve their looks. It's hard to find a girl who is unfuckable when she knows how to do her hair/makeup/clothes. Most "ugly" girls just arn't trying as hard as others. If you can find a way to kindly guide an ugly girl with a baller personality into a hot chick you will be golden. It's all about recognizing potential. Things like bone/body structure are key. Stuff like hair, makeup, and weight can all be changed
Personally I fall in love with the person and then their looks change for me. It's not to say psychical attractiveness isn't a factor because it does matter to me, but if I get to know an average/decent looking person but love more about them the more I get to know them, then in my eyes they become more attractive. It also goes the other way, you can be fucking hot as hell but if you're annoying or an asshole, I'm going to to be repulsed at the sight of you eventually. But that's just me and I know not everyone is like this.
So taking into account what >>16630562 anon asked, what matters more to you? Sure you can have a casual fuck and not mind the personality so much but you admitted you're not in a position to have those flings. What do you really want to pursue? If you're average/meh-tier, what would you like girls to consider about you?
>>16630605
I'm OP and actually the one you quoted was also me.
>what matters more to you?
>What do you really want to pursue
I don't know, like I said I've never had a relationship so I don't really know.
If I can still enjoy going down on some plain girl with a sweet heart then I'd take that, but will it be as good as a super hot girl, even if she's dumb or mean? I don't know, I've never had sex. I just want to be happy, I want to be with someone. and I know I'm not superman and I don't deserve a princess so I'm being realistic.
Realistically it does come down to sex. If I wanted female friendship I'd be making friends not looking for dates. I mean my heart says go for the hottest girl you can find no matter how trashy they are but do I really need some nightclub slut doing drugs and bringing drama into my life. Maybe I should just try to have a few ONS, I have my own place, get the horribleness of the first time out of the way instead of having a long term gf know.
>If you're average/meh-tier, what would you like girls to consider about you?
That's interesting. "What do I want them to like about me". IDK. I'm in a lot better shape than I was but I'm still just kinda boring, I'm not fat but no muscle either, 6ft tall which is a plus for most girls but also a poor forklift driver so that's a negative.
I do have a tight circle of friends who all say I'm really funny but also caring and involved in their lives/families so... maybe if my personality is what's best about me then that's what I should be looking for in a girl too? And we can make ugly babies that are good people on the inside. lol
>>16630598
>Most "ugly" girls just arn't trying as hard as others. If you can find a way to kindly guide an ugly girl with a baller personality into a hot chick you will be golden.
Yeah I was kind of thinking about that but at the same time can you even actually do that. I mean is there really any way for a guy to be like "hey lose 20 pounds and wear these sexy leggings for me" without it turning into a huge fight and her feeling insulted etc, "why don't you love me for who I am". Or is that just something that happens on movies, IDK how women actually work.
>>16630605
Same thing for me here
>>16630853
Ayy my nigga
>>16630827
>Realistically it does come down to sex.
Perfectly reasonable man, sex is a big part of a relationship and that's fine. As for being boring and average, I'm right there with you but I still somehow got into relationships. Like for real, I still question myself sometimes and find it almost appalling how someone thought I was interesting enough to date. But it's weird, you may think you don't have interesting qualities but other people can bring that out of you or you can discover it together with a girl/boyfriend. And what you may not give a second thought about yourself may be something a future girl/boyfriend finds interesting/likable about you. You also mentioned that your close friends confirm your caring nature and sense of humor which is always a plus.
As for being a poorfag forklift driver, what do you mean by this? Like living in my parents' basement or having a shitty studio apartment with a shitty car? For some people, being poor doesn't really matter if they really try to work but I can see why it's somewhat important to you because you want to appeal as a desirable person to date. It's good to know your place but don't bring the standards down so low anon, you seem like a pretty decent dude. Don't count yourself out just because you don't have that much experience or no one has approached you yet. Do you go out of your way to be at least a bit social and put yourself in situations where you get to meet new people?
>>16630827
>I have my own place
Shit, sorry didn't read it twice to catch that. Also
>And we can make ugly babies that are good people on the inside. lol
kek
>>16630827
>And we can make ugly babies that are good people on the inside
Is the alternative better? Have them be attractive, but terrible people. And then needing to deal with both them and their mom?
Late night bump
