Help /adv/ i dont know what the fucks wrong with me. Im basically

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Anonymous
2016-01-01 15:03:51 Post No. 16629330
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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:03:51 Post No. 16629330 [Report]

Help /adv/ i dont know what the fucks wrong with me.
Im basically a miserable fuck all the time and i hate it, i could win a mil tomorrow and id still be a spiteful, hatefucked angery cunt.
I feel like i just cant be happy and i cant seek help i just dont know how to deal with this shit.
Last week i got really drunk and i tried to stab my friend just to get him to fight me, he didnt do anything wrong i just wanted him to fucking hit me get the adrenaline flowing to clear my mind, he wouldnt do it and eventually i passed out after having a breakdown in front of the girl i like. She kept telling me im not a bad person and that everyone deserves a friend to listen to them but i feel so pathetic spilling my guts out to them.
I feel like i dont know how to act around people im just a violent self loathing sorry fuck, i got my leg broken in a fight 8 months ago and i was still getting in shit before i could walk, i smashed some cunts teeth in for calling me '' a fucking idiot' he didn't deserve it but fuck i would have killed him if i could i get so angry.
I feel like everyones soft these days they dont understand but neither do i i feel addicted to pain and violence. I feel sad then i hate my self for being a sorry motherfucker and i just get so angry and i want to die but suicide is for fucking quitters and pussies anyway, so i just drink and smoke and hope one day some will kill me instead.

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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:20:43 Post No.16629369
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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:20:43 Post No.16629369 [Report]

you're a fucking idiot

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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:28:13 Post No.16629380
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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:28:13 Post No.16629380 [Report]

>>16629369
>you're a fucking idiot

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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:30:57 Post No.16629384
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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:30:57 Post No.16629384 [Report]

>>16629330
Sounds like you are self-destructing like I did when I was about 15. I just stopped myself from acting like an asshole when I was drinking (It's not that hard). Also just find something that you enjoy at school or work and focus yourself more.

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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:47:34 Post No.16629419
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Anonymous 2016-01-01 15:47:34 Post No.16629419 [Report]

>>16629330

Seek professional help

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up-stuck-in 2016-01-01 15:48:18 Post No.16629423
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up-stuck-in 2016-01-01 15:48:18 Post No.16629423 [Report]

Rather than becoming violent, zone out.
Ask yourself why you need the adrenaline to hurt someone. You sound very unsatisfied. Like you want to accomplish certain things for yourself but you keep yourself from doing that. You're tying down your own hands but want to beat yourself crazy because you're too stubborn to cut your own hands lose. You need to invest yourself into an area of interest. It can be a superficial goal, something you don't even see yourself doing, like getting published in a magazine or winning a competition or getting a scholarship. You gotta fight yourself mentally in order to achieve something your mind tells you you can't do. Beating yourself up and beating someone else up is not gonna make things anything different. It's not gonna change your position mentally from A to B. Only with a mental shift, you can put your adrenaline rush to a better and more fruitful use. If you must work your body, then test your body by going on a hike or mountain biking. It'll be an adventure and your body gets a task to do.