If you want to seem interesting, make the other person talk.
Be genuinely interested and ask questions.
Make the other person feel good about themselves. If they feel good about themselves, then they'll feel good about you.
>>16624469
So be genuine and ask questions?
>>16624483
Yeap! Everyone feels lonely sometimes, so take the first initiative to talk to someone and make their day.
>>16624498
Everyone feels lonely sometimes, huh. Looks like I'll have to be the one to initiate the conversation.
>>16624498
Whose that lady?
>>16624520
Looks like you're actively listening and using sophisticated empathic responses. You're doing well, anon!
>>16624525
It's Tanaka Natsumi.
I thought that it was your girlfriend.
>>16624469
Why would they find you interesting if they are doing all the talking? Odds are you dont want to be friends with someone who only cares about people hearing them talk
>>16624587
People love talking about themselves! It's self validating knowing that someone is interested in them and they'll feel good. And we know if someone feels good about themselves, then they'll feel good about you.
If i show big penis
will she find me interesting?
>>16624627
Is that really the kind of girl you want to attract, anon?
>>16624618
That doesn't sound right. They will just use you to listen to all of their issues. But I doubt they will use that as a real friendship and then remember you when they want to hang out.
And if you aren't talking about yourself what will make you memorable? Why wouldn't they soon forget you
>>16624651
Of course if you're just firing off questions like it's a job interview, then it won't work. That's why you have to be genuinely interested! If you're really interested and absorbed in the conversation, then you'll naturally find a way to get your own thoughts in while still keeping the focus on the other person.
>>16624469
This is more the type of thread I would like to see on /adv/
>>16624677
Your advice only works so far and often something that might be good for a stranger you're casually talking to but again it might be hard to keep it memorable.
And then you have to think about, what if the person is a quiet person overall and doesn't say much? What will you do then?
I think OP is right
None likes to hear someone talking about themselves
but everyone wants to talk about themselves.
so hear other people out, and at least pretend to care
This is excellent advice
>>16624702
By that point you'll know enough about the other person and you'll have more things to talk about to carry on the relationship!
It is true that people like to be listened, but there are people who doesn't talk too much because they just don't know what to say, you can't just listen to them because they won't say much and that will feel awkward. I am one of those, but I've found people who makes me talk, and it is indeed very appreciated.
>>16624739
Again I don't think thats right for numerous reasons.
1. This doesn't get people to like you, you will keep asking them questions and then what? How will you know how to respond properly to their answers in a manner that will make them enjoy you instead of feeling annoyed or having their privacy invaded?
2. What if you do not know about them? Let's say they spoke a bit about video games but theres more to a person than that and I doubt they will even want to talk about it to a newer person/stranger at first so it might be better to break the ice by having a more mutual conversation than bombarding them with questions.
3. How can you use this when trying to make a new friend with someone you have never spoken to before? I assume in numerous cases a person will be turned off by you starting a conversation but forcing them to lead it by doing most of the talking.
4. How do you sell yourself to the person as this interesting being if they are spilling their guts and you are then commenting on their opinions. They might end up feeling judged.
I'm not saying you are wrong, but theres a lot to it that you can't simplify it to these steps based on the type of person it is.
>>16624651
>They will just use you to listen to all of their issues.
I like what OP is saying and I would like to believe it's true but something I'm going through right now validates what this Anon is saying. I generally try to ask her questions about things she's interested in and try to be interested in them myself and it makes for good conversations that both of us enjoy but outside of those occasions she gives me terse responses when I try to start conversations and hardly ever starts conversations herself unless she wants to talk about an issue in her life. I don't have any problem with that, honestly, but the ambiguity is frustrating and it doesn't actually make for a good, mutual friendship.
Ultimately it depends on the people (both people) and their situations. I think, in general, OP's advice is still sound.
>>16624764
Well, I don't think it's like a guide to make people like you, just an advice: people like to be listened and feel you are interested in what they say.
I once met someone who genuinely loved every thing I'd say and made me know it. It was great. In fact I ended up dating her for two years, but things changed. She then made me feel like I was a piece of shit and she was with me just because she hadn't anyone else.
>>16624764
Anon, a lot of people think the way to be interesting is to boast about their accomplishments or talk about all of the things they've done. The tips are more like a guideline to remind yourself that it's not all about you. Just because it says ask questions doesn't mean that's all you should do! Of course you should contribute to a conversation by using sophisticated empathic responses and of course you should be yourself and be honest.
As for quiet people, I'm quiet myself, anon. Sometimes I don't know what to say too when people talk to me. But I feel like if more people knew about these tips and cared more about each other, then we'd have a mutual understanding of the struggles, awkwardness, and loneliness that we all experience.
>>16624806
Oh, but forget the last part. What I was saying is that it feels great to know you can say anything to someone and they'll love it.
Also, people won't like you if you end up being a cunt.
