I really do not get along with my bf. I think he is immature, whiney, manic depressive and he makes my life pretty blah. The problem is we live together and I own all the furniture/cars. So it is a lot of stuff to move and I would have to move to my dad's house for a couple months which also seems lame. Advice?
>>16624297
>im so lazy I would rather just live with someone I don't like creating a toxic environment and relationship than moving a few boxes
Alrighty
Punch him in the face and kick him in the nutsack with golf shoes. Pee in his cereal too. Dump a bucket of ice water on him while he's sleeping.
Put nails under his car tires so he gets 4 flat tires the next time he tries to drive his car. Put sugar in his gas tank too.
Break his phone by dropping it in the toilet.
>>16624297
Bite the bullet and move in with your dad, or adjust your lifestyle so you can afford to live in the apartment alone. Sell some of your furniture too. Maybe sell/give some of it to your soon to be ex. Not sure what to do about the cars, idk if you need a beater to go to work and a pickup to haul shit or what.
Breaking up is harder when you are sharing a place and stuff. But you can do it. And you'll feel a lot better when it's over.
>>16624320
>his car
>I own all the furniture/cars
Make a bunch of mashed potatoes, and force him to take them all up his asshole and peehole.
Tell him to move out. Is the lease in his name or something ?
Pour a bottle of superglue in his hair and on his dick while he's sleeping.
Get him naked, then push him outside of the house and lock all the doors so he has to spend the night outside naked.
Talk dirty to him and get his dick hard, then refuse to have sex with him.
Sneak up behind him and blast an airhorn directly in his ear, then kick him in the balls.
Break all the dishes in the house by chucking them against the wall as hard as possible, then call the cops and tell them he did it.
Get a puppy and let him become really attached to it then tell him you hated it after you gave him to the shelter.
Get on his computer while he's away, and install as much malware/ransomware, and as many fake AV programs as possible.
If he asks you to get him a beer or a can of soda, shake up the can so it explodes in his face when he opens it.
>>16624346
Both our names
>>16624297
save up money so you can get your own place, THEN move out. no reason you cant be prepared first.
Bend him over a table and shove a broomstick up his asshole over and over.
Get a gun and while cleaning it one day shoot him in the leg and say oops.
Shoot him in the face at point blank range with the missile launcher from Fallout 4
Tell him you want a divorce and that it will be better for the kids.
Do the ice bucket challenge with him, except instead of ice, dump a bucket of urine on his head
You could cut off his dick with a sponge and a bowl of soup.
Superglue his penis to the bed while he's sleeping. Fill his shoes with superglue too.
Lock him outside of the house while he's naked, and then call the cops and tell them he's trying to break in.
>>16624297
Don't move in with bf's. Wait until you're married so you can really screw him over.
Take a picture of his dick, and send it to his parents and all of his friends
Merry and have a child by him then one day when he cone home from work let him catch you running a train and tell him you never loved him in the first place.
Put 15 boxes of laxatives in his food the next time you cook for him.
Pour hot coffee all over his face, then throw the coffee pot as hard as possible at his head to wake him up in the morning.
Wait one fucking second here!
You own all the furniture and cars, but he owns the house.
So... he lived in an empty flat, with no cars, and you thought you should move in with him? Really? Did you only realize somebody who lives with very little furniture, and no cars, would be whiny and immature when he's dating somebody who can afford multiple cars and pieces of furniture. But if you can afford cars, just hire a moving company. Seriously.
Set fire to all of his clothes so he has nothing to wear, and he has to go to the store naked to buy more clothes.
Throw lit firework mortars in the shower while he's taking a shower.
Take a sledgehammer, and hit him in the ballsack with it as hard as possible. Then bend him over and fuck him in the ass with a strapon dildo while singing songs from the Batman soundtrack.
Make him listen to Justin Bieber on repeat for 6 hours.
Take a staple gun, and staple bagels to his face while he's asleep, then make him remove them with a pitchfork.
Better yet, attack him with the staple gun as soon as he walks in the door. Aim for his penis and balls.
Strap him down and water board him until he confesses to terrorism plots then send in those as tips to the fbi.
>>16624297
Shit all over his face while he's asleep. It will take his eyes a while to adjust. You can then take your most beloved chairs.
Take a picture of his dick with his phone, and send it to his mother.
Tie him down on the bed while he's asleep, then put a dogs butthole right in his face and hold it there for the next 12 hours.
Shove a stick of dynamite deep in his asshole and light the fuse.
Send him nude pics of his mother.
Report him to the IRS for tax evasion
Take his nose off, and shove it deep in his asshole so that the only thing he can smell for the rest of his life is his own asshole. Then, take his dick off and shove it up his asshole too.
>>16624727
Love thaT one too
Steal his penis while he's sleeping, and hide it in his mothers pussy or his dads asshole.
Steal his mothers pussy and shove it up his ass
>>16624698
I do that myself
I love justin bieber on groove music all day
Ugh this bastard is now showing me pics of him getting drunk with some waitress on his phone
>>16624800
Send him a picture of you having sex with his father.
