pic unrelated...
help please.
my mom is 57 and she's getting worse. she can fool her doctor (only sees for an hour a month on average) and friends she only sees every few months. but for us adult children, we see that she is mentally unstable. she always has to have an enemy. always has to have something to gripe about. tries to control us and the grandkids. she even gets violent at times. her tongue cuts like a razor covered in bile and acid. she refuses to admit she is ever wrong, or that she is the one causing grief unprovoked. even when she was younger and went into bitch mode once a month, she refused to admit she had PMS, now she refuses to admit that she has been or is now suffering from menopause. she lays on the couch in the common area of the house even though she has a room and bed.
tl;dr: how do i get someone who NEEDS mental help but claims not to need it?
i'm in Indiana, USA.
>>16614692
If you know for a fact she's fooling her doctor, try to get in there and talk to the doctor yourself so they know exactly what is going on.
Speaking from experience, you can only help someone if they want that help. But being mentally ill (if she is at all mentally ill) can fool you into thinking you actually have everything under control and you don't need help, when if fact you need help the most. I don't want to say forcefully commit her, mostly because she, being an adult, I don't know if that's actually possible, but sometimes people need to be taken out of their current environment and placed in a new one where they can get round the clock care. If she's being violent in the sense that its abuse, you need to get her out of there immediately and get her some serious help. There is no reason she should be getting away with any of that if that's what she's doing.
Like I said earlier, I'd say go have a chat with her doctor. He/she would be able to do more in the way of helping her than you would. If that doesn't work, find a way to get her into a mental hospital urgently.
>>16614706
would her DR talk to me?
dr/patient confidentiality and all...
>>16614717
Her doctor wouldn't be able to tell you what they've talked about with your mother, but you can still go to them and tell them how your mother is actually doing, opposed to how she's been fooling them. You're not there to find out what they're talking about, you're there to tell the doctor the truth and nothing more.
All of those things could just as well be personality disorders as opposed to the onset of stuff like menopausal endocrine problems. There's really nothing a doctor can do about a personality disorder either. The big clue here is that, albeit with lesser severity, she's always had a "bitch mode."
You don't get someone with a personality disorder into help unless they want it. Such people often just die miserably after burdening those around them with the same misery. Welcome to the hush-hush world of mental health. I strongly suggest that you make best speed in getting away from your mom and just observe from far away. Help her only when there are real physical problems.
>>16614724
i'll do that then.
it's just really sad cuz when she's normal everyone is full of love and caring, but then out of nowhere, she's on another plane and were are all her targets of destruction.
>>16614735
I think what this guy is saying would work marginally better than my answers. You really can't help someone if they don't want it. But even then it's hard to tell whether or not some truly doesn't want help. Sometimes it's the mental illness that's talking, and then sometimes it's actually them saying they don't want the help. Shit's messed up man. I'm sorry you have to watch your mother go through this.
OP, I'm in a very similar situation right now.
>25 years old, brother is 22
>lost our dad when we were 13 and 10
>everything downhill from there
>poor as fuck, we move to other end of city so my mom can get a job and work over 9000 hours a week
>I do everything around the house while my my mom is away while juggling school (cook for myself and bro, do banking, run errands for mom)
>mom comes home tired as fuck and depressed
>family lives back home, mom has 0 friends, doesn't talk to anyone
>explodes at us for the smallest things (mostly me), hits us and threatens us, breaks shit around the house
>I get depressed and drift through high school like a ghost, escape into vidya and chinese cartoons, grades plummet
>fast forward to today, I'm finally in college
>we're still pretty poor, brother has a full-time job now but rent is pretty high
>I can only maintain a part-time job during school
>last time mom worked was 3 or something years ago
>doesn't really do anything (other than chores) nowadays--just sits in the living room surfing facebook and shit on her phone
>she has "ups and downs"
>still explodes at us occasionally when our financial situation is brought up
>calls us failures, hints at suicide, threatens us
I honestly have nothing to say that will help you right now since I'm pretty fucking lost myself. All I can do is offer my condolences. I hope you work it out and your mom can get the help she needs. Me, I just recently started seeing a counselor at my school because I finally got over years of denial. We'll see what she can do for me.
