Hi /adv/, silly friendship troubles here.
Basically I had booked a holiday for February for with my best friend and a friend of hers who I know vaguely for a few days. We booked the tickets and they are non-refundable.
My friend is the flaky type who constantly changes her mind. Suddenly, she's like "oh my graduation ceremony is on the second last day of my holiday, I'll have to maybe go back early and you two are alone for a day." I'm not comfortable being alone with this other chick since we barely know each other and I didn't book the ticket thinking this would be the situation.
That being said it's already practically January and we still have not booked the hotel and whenever I ask about it she doesn't reply me. I need to tell my boss in advance what days to take off, but she keeps saying stuff like "when does your next semester start? maybe we change the holiday till after the ceremony." It's constantly maybe this, oh I'll have to see this, bla bla. No fucking confirmations.
So I've been quite polite and patient, but today I texted her to stop being inconsiderate and just confirm everything already so I can tell my fucking boss what days to take off etc. She called me and we had a fight on the phone, her basically saying I was being harsh and "why are you stressing so much about this?" and "you know the other girl, what's the problem?" and saying I was unfair because she only received her ceremony date like a couple weeks ago.
Thing is obviously from months back she knows she will graduate and the approximate period in which the ceremony will be because it's around the same date every year. She also told me if she doesn't say anything, then shouldn't I assume nothing's changed? Uh, no, because you say a different plan every fucking time we meet. I just didn't want a risk of burning $600 dollars due to her change of mind.
This is the first actual fight we've had and she's kinda not speaking to me because she thinks I'm being unreasonable. What do?
I've had to deal with this shit before. Generally you should only pay for your own ticket. The other party needs to commit to buying the ticket at a specific time and date so that they are equally invested if they don't meet their obligations. Set a date to book a hotel and say you will book one at an ideal time for yourself if they don't negotiate a date.
>>16606211
I did only pay for my ticket. And she booked hers, but she told me doesn't care about wasting her money if she has to. And what if I book a hotel but she never does? At the end of our phone call she said angrily that she'd book the hotel and stuff and idk I'm pretty sure she's not going to talk to me for a while or something, I really didn't want to stuff up the friendship because I love her and all. But I just got really pissed off. I was still respectful when I told her today, but yeah. In the end she said she didn't want to say anything else because it's going around in circles. Like she's trying to be "mature" and stuff.
>>16606219
To me it sounds like you should consider getting another friend on this trip and you can book a room together in pairs. Fitting 3 people in a single room is usually kind of tricky. Solo travel is also actually a lot of fun so you can consider that too. Also, she may be fine with wasting her money but shes wasting not just hers but yours and your other friend by not booking early. This trip of yours is going to be really awkward especially if you fight going in to it, because you're going to have to be around these people for a week. I'd strongly consider refunding the ticket if you can.
>>16606225
We don't really have mutual friends, our friend group is separate. I do have a close friend in the country we're visiting, but my best friend dislikes her. We've done a holiday together before, and what we did was book for two and snuck the 3rd person in since we're chill about sharing beds and whatnot. I'm definitely not into the idea of solo travel.
And yeah, agreed with the point of wasting money. Basically we're going to Malaysia, so she's like "it doesn't matter when we book because they're all cheap and there's so many hotels available".
I also checked on the website for the airline and it expressly says non-refundable, just I can maybe change the time of it up to 48 hrs before the flight.
I don't know if and when I should contact her and how to sort of lighten up the mood, or should I let her contact. It's just an odd feeling because we've never seriously fought in years.
>>16606236
Close friend in the country you're going to? Sounds like a good back up plan if things go sour with your current plans. You still got a month to finish planning, so maybe you can smooth things over by inviting your friend out to lunch.
