How do I get over my ex?
We were together a year and broke up a few months ago, but we decided to remain friends. He said he still cared about me a lot but no longer had any romantic feelings towards me. It's mostly my fault we broke up. So we've been talking and hanging out very regularly for the past few months, and it really hurts. My feelings haven't changed at all and I can't stop thinking about the past. He's really important to me and I don't want to lose him, how do I move on?
Pic not related.
Cut all contact. Block on social media. Get him out of yiur life. Every time you see him it will remind you of what you don't have any more and will hurt. I know it's not what you want to hear but it's what you have to do.
>>16594935
We were best friends for a long time before we started dating, and he's one of the most important people in my life. Neither of us have any other friends and that isn't likely to change for either of us. We still get along very well despite that. Is there really no other way?
>>16594966
>Is there really no other way?
There is another way. Find another person you can get close to and build strong emotions with, then you won't have the same feelings for your ex anymore.
But this is extremely difficult if you do not cut contact, because your current feelings will get in the way of being comfortable with other people...and that it isn't fair to bring that kind of baggage to a new relationship.
>>16594979
This. I would definitely block him. Just move on. Forget about like forever. Don't decide to turbostalk him. Be normal about it.
>>16594979
>>16594981
Isn't it possible for me to just lose my feelings for him gradually, and then be okay with friendship? I mean, that happened for him, why can't it happen for me?
>>16595036
True, but I wouldn't risk it. Cutting him out of your life completely is better. Sometimes people won't "allow" that, though, and this is what we call parasites. Still, what these people fail to understand is: they cannot force someone to like her/him.
>>16595036
You can, sometimes be friends with an ex but that's usually after a long period of time and when you have both met and dated other people. Preferably you should already be in a strong relationship with someone else.
By then, you should have a different perspective. But yea, you never to sever thing here.
>>16594979
third way, cope with it and mature/grow out of it. that is unbearable for some people. if so consider the other two ways, if not hang in there champ. i know it hurts =(
>>16595068
Thank you.
Focus inward. Improve upon yourself.
If you find yourself attached to someone who is not attached to you, you are finding yourself lacking on your own. So find what's missing to make you self-sufficient.
time heals all wounds
>>16594917
Nigger you've gotta stop hanging out with him. Stop acting like you're "supposed" to be mature and be friends and all that happy horse shit. You're supposed to feel however you're supposed to feel, and if you have feelings that can't or won't be reciprocated, it's gonna suck. Just say, "hey listen, buddy, I need some time away from you because guy, I just think it'll be better for my own wellbeing, friend", and if he doesn't understand tell him to stick his flacid cock inside a bee hive.
>>16594917
Now you know how it feels to be stuck in a friendzone. Have fun.
>>16596064
But I don't want to stop. He knows how I feel about it, it's not a secret or anything.
I tried this with my first ex of a year. Week after we barely texted out of our best interest and I spent the entire week eating food I enjoyed and bought myself a new video game.
Eventually he blocked me and we cut contact. I am glad he did,actually. It's basically the only way you can move on even if it is sad. Maybe tell him it's hard on you and you still care about him, but you have to care from a very far distance.
>>16597109
>But I don't want to stop. He knows how I feel about it, it's not a secret or anything.
Ok, we're giving you advice and you're not listening. We're not here to tell you what you want to hear, we're here to tell you the truth.
Your situation is not unique. Either take our advice or don't but the fact is that if you want to get over him you need to stop contact. At least 6 months. After that if you're feeling better and you ABSOLUTELY insist upon having him around then try again.
Again, if you don't want advice, don't ask. We're giving you good advice and you're being super childish about it.
>>16594917
smoke crack
Sounds like you done fucked up. You can not get over some one and move on if they are part of your life... That means you have moved on. Not saying you cant be friends at some point but such will take time and space for without such you he will stay at the forefront of your heart and head.
>>16598059
Why does conventional wisdom have to be the only way?
Time and other people, preferably those whom you can connect similarly with.
You have to replace him with someone else instead of just removing him.
This isn't to say get him out of your life, just get someone else into that special someone slot.
>>16598726
I don't think replacing him would be healthy. One of the biggest problems in our relationship was my overdependence. Trying to replace him would just lead to the same problems in the new relationship, except with added "I just want you to fill the hole my ex left" baggage.
>>16598108
Crack is whack son
if you continue this, you will just be causing more problems for yourself in the end.
this really decreases your self worth and esteem. you need the proper timer to be away from him and heal.
i know you want to constantly see him, because you loved him. relationships are like drugs. you miss him and crave his presence. but hanging out with him is just giving into the cravings when you know it's not good because you know you feel sad. you're addicted to him, and you have to stop!
improve on yourself. learn new skills, change something about your appearance. make new friends. maybe later on it will be different, but now you need space & to move on and heal
