At the start of summer I met this one guy at a dance hall I frequent. He was new to the place, but I always had great, passionate dances with him. It helped brighten my spirits up, but it still took me a while to get into doing much more than just dancing. Which I really enjoyed because I just got out of a relationship back then. So whenever he'd ask to hang out , I was always hesitant. But he'd pull back and not push further -- which helped made me fall for him slowly.
Until fall rolled along, I wasn't ready to start seeing him. But I still was beginning to like him. And each night we were there, I made it a priority to dance with him more than everyone else. Soon I absolutely adored this man, and never wanted to let go even after the song had ended.
But he then asked me out. I got a bit squeamish, and didn't prepare myself for it. So I was became circumspect, and said no. And considering he's asked to hang out a few times before, I got a little annoyed, and told him he was a being a bit pushy.
I don't know why I said that, because then he looked like I touched a nerve, and grew quiet. He then told me that he didn't think it was going to work out between us, and that we shouldn't remain on non-speaking terms.
After which he left early, and never came back. I haven't heard from him since. I haven't seen any calls or texts since October. And whatever I send go unreturned. Plus we never got a chance to exchange Facebooks (and I still can't find him on it). He just upped and disappeared. I thought if I waited a few months I'd at least get something eventually. But no. Nothing.
I think I really screwed up. ;_;
>>16590398
Yeah you fucked up, and you're never going to see him again.
You had plenty of time to fix things, and you let them go.
It's over, just accept you fucked up and move on.
>>16590398
The reification of desire is homologous with the ideology of power/knowledge.
>I don't know why I said that
Because you are quick to blame other people when you have a communication problem.
>>16590398
He stopped going to the club?
He's trying to forget about this embarassing moment and you need to let him go
>>16590435
*sniff*
meh, you're a woman so he probably didn't take it seriously
>>16590455
Dance hall. But yes, no one's seen him there since.
>>16590475
Is his name Wang Chung?
>>16590477
No. White guy.
>>16590475
Go there and see if you can see some of the other guys that he hung out with there. Explain to them how you fucked up and that you are looking for him.
They will tell him. Wait for a while.
If nothing happens, see if you can find his buddies once more and ask for his address so you can either show up or send a letter.
Add nudes with perfume.
Ok don't do that.. But you get the idea. Just don't come of desperate.
>>16590495
>Go there and see if you can see some of the other guys that he hung out with there.
Tried that, and no one really really has any contact with him. He didn't stay there very long to make a lot of friends. And plus, everyone keeps telling me to leave him alone.
>If nothing happens, see if you can find his buddies once more and ask for his address so you can either show up or send a letter.
That's stalking, and I don't want to resort to creeperdom. :/
>>16590515
> I treated anon like a bag of shit and I'd like to see him so I can say I'm sorry.
That's not creepy in my opinion.
>>16590515
Put up flyers with his picture and your contact number.
>>16590528
Don't have any pictures. And I don't want to risk a restraining order for doing this (and risk scaring him even further). That's being really creepy.
>>16590544
Then wtf do you want us to say?
Shall we gather on skype and have a collective prayer for you to get your friend back?
>>16590523
Not OP, but I've had to get the police involved on several occasions for these reasons. Sometimes wanting to apologise is the worst reason for getting back in contact with someone who's not hinting at wanting to talk again. And the worst justification. Sometimes an apology is the worst thing you can give. Some things warrant neither apologies nor forgiveness.
>>16590528
And that's really pushing into stalker territory.
Just leave him alone. You're only going to make things worse.
>>16590572
She wasn't actually going to apologize, that was just a cover to get the address. But yeah, probably not the best idea. I'm brainstorming here.
>>16590572
What's wrong with looking for love with flyers? People use the internet for dates and sex. Being a stalker is subjective.
>>16590597
>What's wrong with looking for love with flyers?
It's stalking, desperate, creepy, and often illegal. Especially when trying to look for a specific person who doesn't want to talk to you.
>>16590627
Illegal?
What kind of a fucked up country are you from?
>>16590398
This is the society you wanted, women. You just wanted this perfectly good man to sit around and wait for you to "get ready", and when he actually musters up the courage to ask you out, you shame him for it. He knows that if he ever asks again, you can have a harassment report filed against him or just in general behave like a complete dick towards him without the slightest chance of reciprocation.
So he made the only smart choice and up and went. And that makes you sad. Boo the fuck hoo.
>>16590637
Got 'eem
>>16590637
hate to agree but this sums it up
>>16590637
This desu, I feel sorry for the poor guy
>>16590597
It's sexual harassment.
>>16590628
Repeated attempts to make contact with someone who doesn't make it clear they want you to do so is harassment, which is illegal. Making said attempts out of romantic purposes bumps it up to sexual harassment. Going to lengths to post fliers on where to find them (without any proof that they're missing), along with their personal information (name, number, picture) brings in stalker charges that are more expansive than normal stalking prosecutions.
Plus, if she wants another chance with him, these will just scare him away and ruin them; preventing potential chances from ever blossoming. He'll go down thinking her as a crazy stalker than a love interest, and destroy her image in his eyes.
Until he makes it clear and attempts contact with her himself, you're going to have to assume he wants nothing to do with her. The other way around this is to somehow meet up in a random place (without either party intending to) and see where that takes you. Other than that, there's literally nothing to be done here.
And the fact people are suggesting shit like this,
>>16590528
>>16590495
Doesn't make them better than actual stalkers out there.
>>16590730
Holy shit. Only in the land of the free can you get arrested for asking for someones address. Shit is worse than I thought.
>>16590637
This right here.
I can't even imagine how much courage it took for him to ask you out. My advice to you is you need to fucking get over yourself and be honest with whoever the fuck you are aiming for. If you aren't ready, you fucking tell him you're not ready and that you need time. He would still be there if you had just told him that you aren't ready, but you might be warming up to the idea.
God, OP even fucking was going out of the way to fucking dance with him every single time. Talk about giving mixed fucking signals. When she told him No and that he was being pushy, he probably felt like she was just playing the fuck out of him because all she saw him as was a good dancer.
He made the right move by just flat out leaving. He literally did the thing that anyone on /adv/ would tell to some poor faggot who won't give up on a girl, and you should know this if you are here on this board: If she doesn't reciprocate, you fucking leave and you find someone else.
I think the saddest thing of it all is that this guy got rejected by her multiple times and he still had the courage to wait it out and try again in hopes she might change her mind. That must have fucking crushed him.
You don't deserve the guy, but maybe, just maybe, he might have went to a different dance hall. Look for a different dance hall that offers programs at the same time as the one he used to attend. Maybe you might get lucky, but you really don't deserve it after what you did to him.
>>16590398
he killed himself , or he's on r9k
>>16590730
You are a paranoid crazy person.
>>16590722
Hahaha
>>16590398
So you told a guy to fuck off and he did? What the fuck kind of advice do you expect for this shit?
How do you not expect us to see through this thinly veiled woman hate thread..
>>16590842
And you're a stalker.
