The time has come once again for the weekly advice thread, a day late but here nonetheless.
Come here and ask to get an advice, a second opinion, or a different point of view on human relations, an illness, religion, existentialism or anything else you've got.
The less vague you are the more helpful the replies can be. Replies may take a while, some even hours, but you are guaranteed an advice back, full of wisdom™.
Everyone else is free to give their advice as well.
![[W]1414251041654.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/X4fumnp.jpg "[W]1414251041654.jpg")
I'll be bumping with some scenery.
Very anti-social and I need a career
I want to be a manager because it's easy for me to understand but I don't want to deal with others..
>>16565054
As a human being you can't be very anti-social and there's joy to be had with interracting with people.
Why do you classify yourself as "very anti-social"?
What bothers you about interracting with others?
Is it mostly about the people around you, or people in general, or yourself?
What do you occupy yourself with on your free-time?
Before you work on omething you plan on doing for a good while, you should open yourself up, because human interraction is inevitable, and it's a neccesity for us, for our happiness.
I guarantee you that you'll be more happier, and through this you can find out what you actually want to do with your life, rather than just being a "manager". Asnwer the above questions for me.
>>16565067
>Why do you classify yourself as "very anti-social"?
Bullied in HS, abusive parents
>What bothers you about interracting with others?
Confidence
>Is it mostly about the people around you, or people in general, or yourself?
Never met anyone similar to me.
>What do you occupy yourself with on your free-time?
Read Philosophy, Stoics, Spinoza whatever
Mostly wallowing in my room waiting for February when I can leave home
>>16565073
I see, first you need to stop burdening yourself with negative thoughts such as not being "good enough" to get into discourse with others, may be through the fact that you haven't been social for a long time, your apperance, "being boring", a reason you were bullied, or whatever have you if you do.
The next step is to just go out there. Going back to being social and having friends you care about surrounding you is as easy as making a single friend and going from there, all because it's the natural way.
Go out and join a gym, physical exercise is amazing for many things, including confidence for it reminds you who and what you are, and at a gym you will have opportunities to bond with others. Physical exercise is a must.
Go out and join a course about something you care about. There's something out there for everybody, take a course on something you are interested in, and if the course population is about 10 or even lower, all the better because you are given a place full of people with common ground and interest and you are basically forced to interract with each other.
Get a job, any kind of job where you interract with lots of people. I know this may sound scary to you right now, getting a job where you are forced to interract with people will give you the understanding and will make you an infinitely more social and less avoidant about interraction in a week if you can endure the first few days.
You can start by talking to old people at a park. Old people, and people in reality, love being talked to, go up to one of them and make small talk. Talk to them about weather, ask them about their day, ask them about how they are feeling, people in general love being asked questions.
Do a few of these and I guarantee you that you will a lot better and have a grander view in just a few days.
>>16564994
Sup Mr. 4chan cookie.
A week ago I asked about how to find a MILF and you suggested classes. Thanks for that. This time I want to ask you something else. I have a vast imagination but I'm stagnant. I want to do so many cool things but the way my life is has got me bitter. I told you I had a dream that fell through and you told me not to give up even if it sounds like a cheesy thing to say. I really don't know what to do with myself. Time is going by and I still don't know. It's sad really, I can't explain it. I know I have to do something but I don't know how to go about it. Thing is I feel things are too late for me. I'm 26 and I feel 46. I just want to do something big and awesome that people will recognize me for. Something that I actually want to do. I've always been like that as akid but I felt stuck, I remember getting excited for the latest idea of something awesome but looking around me in that 1 bedroom apt. feeling like a flea in a jar, feeling sad and restless. You see, I'm from the city. I grew up and still live in a 1 bedroom apartment. It was me and my 2 other siblings. We only had what our parents could provide us. It was tough and there was a lot of drama. I was also bullied and not a good student. When I had enough, I didn't have a room to go to when I needed to fuck off so I went off into my head a lot and create stories or songs. As a teenager, I didn't care so I kinda acted out being a idiot and hanging with friends. HS was the best for me though, I was more extroverted, had friends, girls liked me, I was working out. All that goofing off in HS and not knowing what to really do in college has hindered me in a shit position. I still have my imagination, but I can't do much since I don't know where to go or what to do. Plus, I have to look for a job which isn't a problem if I would just get a call back.
I sometimes wish I was brain dead or just non exsistant. I'm smart but not so if I can't seem to figure it out.
I have OCD and I can't get disgusting images looping in my head, I derive nothing positive from these thoughts. It's known as Pure-O. I then end up associating these thoughts with things I enjoy resulting in me not doing anything.
I understand thoughts are just thoughts. I'm in therapy. I'm researching mindfulness. It isn't working. I'm tired. any advice on obsessional thinking?
>>16565564
can't get looping disgusting images out of my head*
Sorry if that wasn't clear, phone keypads tend to facilitate rushed writing.
>>16565547
You now only need to figure out what you truly want to do, but first you need to understand a few things.
Doing something big and great, a way to express our true selves to others is something pretty much every one us desire, but fortune and fame in a grand scale by itself is not something you really wish, especially if you don't have a noble cause with what to do with it after achieving it. It's like the times when you are really hungry, you feel like you can eat a 5 mans' worth of meal, but in reality all you actually need is a few good friends and a partner whom you genuinely love as she loves you back.
I'm not saying you shouldn't or can't do something big and great, but there are consequences and powerful "communities" you may have to deal with after achieving fame, look into it and be ready to protect yourself before you work on it. Age is no matter, you haven't missed out on a single thing.
Then to find out what you wish to do. Sit down and put aside all your thoughts, every concern every worry, everything I have said to you, and focus on what it is you really want to do. Is your past dream still your dream? Is the thing you want to do or achieve a concept, like power, a loving family, a job where you socialize with a lot of people, etc. or do you wish to get really good at a craft, like music, being a critic, gardening or something of your personal love and interest like working with elephants, helping homeless people, working charity jobs, working with your imagination and so on, it can be anything.
Once you figure out, drop all the negative thoughts, stop wishing to be braindead, don't think about what others will say or how it may not make you much money or any other obstacle and work on it. God speed.
>>16565564
>>16565576
I understand your condition and I suffer from a similar thing, though it's almost gone now.
This may sound cheesy but, firstly you need to talk to yourself, to your soul. You need to understand and tell yourself that you are a being made of love, looking only for love in return. Tell yourself that you associate with none of these images, and tell yourself you don't wish any of these images upon you. If you haven't realized the power of your soul and your will these may sound absurd to you, but please do give it a try. When these images come up, close your eyes and concentrate on this.
As much as I try not to talk about finding God and the true path to life in these threads, for it's a journey I feel one must find oneself, but since your condition and the solution is very related to it, I must ask, do you believe in God?
You need not reply if you wish, but if you do ask God for help. Pray that you wish none of these images upon you and pray that may God show you the way. I'm afraid of sounding like a nut-job talking about evil spritual influence and losing credibility in your eyes, but if you are a believer you should know it is a thing.
If you don't, do please give it a try anyway. At worst you'll waste a few minutes praying and maybe feeling stupid, but the act has to be genuine, pray from your heart. If your parents or your relatives or close one you know, knows of a good church and a good pastor tell them about your condition and they'll be glad to help you.
If you tried and couldn't get rid of it and if it bothers you to the point where you are crippled, you have nothing to lose, please try it.
>>16565627
I wish to get better at lyrics and I have a concept to a story that's been on going since I was a kid. Like literally since I was a kid. I've been told my lyrics are good. My writting impressed teachers and professors before. Why? I want to do something great? I want to see myself that I could do it but honestly for people to lend me their ears. I really don't have a voice. I want to rally people up and help them get inspired to reach high. No matter how much I try to shake off this dream or convince myself it isn't worth/ or going to happen, or even listen to people when they say grow up this is life. I can't seem to give it up. I really want to be known for achievements that inspire people. Negativity really has crippled me. I have so much and yet I hide all of it. No one really knows the real me. Because I hide, I play off like this asshole who has complete disregard to peoples feelings. I'm sick of being stuck and sick of condeming myself to shit jobs and just being a cog.
Most of my life I regret it. I rather suffer the pain of success than the pain of an exsistence where I'm stuck. I'm not begging for fame. I know what it is. I just want to do something I love and if I can get paid, so be it. Thats what I feel. Thanks for the advice.
>>16565683
Your dream sounds noble and so does your wish, don't give up on it. Negativity is just obstacles you set on your mind, let go of your pride and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for wasting your time, forgive yourself for acting the way you didn't truly wish to act, forgive yourself for setting up barriers from reaching your dream and let it all go. Don't let a memory hit you back with a sharp pain, don't let whatever others may say to you stop you on your way, forgive it all and work your way towards your dream in peace.
Also, you don't have to to be gifted with a great singing voice to be able to sing, music lies with your soul not your vocal cords. At the very least you can do spoken word with your music, try listening to Slint - Spiderland if you haven't heard a good example of this.
>>16565668
I don't believe in God, sorry. Not in a conventional sense, anyway. You don't come off as a nutjob, don't worry. I guess the "soul" thing can be helpful, though. Maybe I need to get in touch with myself, but I don't want to be overly self-indulgent. I might try meditation. I just find it difficult to unlatch from thoughts and past mistakes. Hell is certainly something we carry around with us and I think this is my form of it.
Thanks for yr time.
>>16565770
If it is past mistakes and thoughts about what you've done and/or consequences that are haunting you, just like I told the anon above, the act of forgiving is THE cure. You can find it on the Bible, you can find it amongst meditation techniques, you can hear it from a good therapist, you can look it up on the internet. The gist of it is, you write down the people and the events that have hurt you and the people you've hurt and the bad deeds you've done, and first forgive them and then forgive yourself. One by one go through the list, remembering it in detail, and from your heart forgive it all.
