Do I need an active social life to KEEP a girlfriend?
Key word is keep here, because I know I will need one to get her in the first place.
Generally speaking, yes. This almost goes without saying for extraverted women. But even introverted women, though they enjoy their solitude, generally don't like to be isolated, and an isolated SO is an isolating experience.
But I'm confused: did you think you'd be able to just drop your social life when an SO entered the picture? Social lives do not work that way.
yeap the more social you are the more value you have to her.
>>16564943
too bad the actual value to social life is nearly zero
>>16564898
Depends on the girl and her interests. You don't need a social life to maintain a relationship, but keep in mind you have to have a common ground for stuff to talk about. People you know are very easy to talk about since in general we are social creatures that are more interested in what happens in our proximity than what happens far away, and there is always new content involving people. A social life isn't very important because of the activities you, your girlfriend and your social circle do together, it is mainly to have conversation topic, your social life provides you with stories, advice, humor... If that isn't there you need some more common interests then usual and have a broad and interesting knowledge about it that changes constantly so you have more to talk about this stuff with your girlfriend.
>>16564939
>>16564977
Well I would obviously go out and do stuff with my gf, but I just dislike trying hard to get new people to like me or to make new friends. Sometimes I don't want to spend time with my old friends either, it is almost like a chore sometimes.
I just dislike the social norm or even rule you could say that I have to like meeting new people.
I would always be down to go out with gf though. I mean there is a reason why she is my gf afterall.
>>16564943
Tell me you are a troll. When I give 0 shits about how many friends or how socially active my gf is, why would it matter to her?
You are just talking about Stacies aren't you?
Well OP, you don't really need a social life like that, but you need to put high standards for your gf and not be a kiss ass to her. Show her you're not a pushover, have self-respect for yourself and show her that you will call the shots in the relationship. I don't mean yelling and being possessive, see what i'd do is if my gf is being bitchy or lazy, i'd call her out no matter how mad she gets(i'll even intensify the anger in a humorous manner) or i'll stop contacting her no matter how angry the texts get. The key is to NOT BE AFRAID OF BEING ALONE. There are worse things than being alone my friend. SHOW HER(don't tell her) you'll take her or leaver her.
>>16564977
Yeah of course you want to do stuff with your girlfriend, especially in the beginning there is so much stuff to do when you are together, and so much stuff to explore and talk about together, but after a while, and especially if you live together, a lot of the time spent together is just gonna be the two of you talking to each other about regular stuff. What i meant is that you are gonna need some more common ground to talk about if social things don't interest you, not only because you don't have social stuff to talk about but also because you are not gonna want to hear about her friends either, if you don't even care about your own...
>>16565029
>Well OP, you don't really need a social life like that, but you need to put high standards for your gf and not be a kiss ass to her
is a valid point, ignore the macho crap after that i don't think its healthy at all but yeah, the point is that you don't have to be a kissass, so if you are 100% sure you don't want an elaborate social life you don't go faking it for your girlfriend, this will only end bad. I'm not saying you have to be a hardass on everything, sometimes its good to try something new, i've been convinced by girlfriends about stuff i thought i'd really hate... Learning from your partner gives so much gratitude and really helps the relationship. So you might wanna give her social circles a chance but if you don't like them after a few times of meeting stick with it and be yourself...
>>16565063
was to >>16565009
>>16565063
Okay I see what you mean. It's not like I'm a completely anti social asshole, but it's just how things are in my life right now. Thanks for the insight.
>>16565063
>>16564898
macho crap??
> I don't mean yelling and being possessive
i said that didn't i?
Its not macho at all. Although, I forgot to mention that you should let your gf from the very start, know you want to have calm discussions if she ever had a problem. If she catches a tantrum and acts like a kid, make fun of her and ignore her, and when she can act like an adult then theen THEEENNN treat her like one. Treat people how they act, age ain't nothing but a number pal, don't forget it.
Whether you want to believe it or not, relationships need one leader and one leader only, you or her. I make the major decisions in my relationships but i do take my gfs suggestions very openmindedly. Don't be super macho man. I have way more to offer to her than she does to me so, i call the shots muahhaa but i take good care of her. By default men have way more to offer. Without men we'd be still living in straw huts. What have women invited? looooool
It depends, OP. Obviously it's more fun if you and your SO have mutual friends to hang out with together, but it isn't necessary.
My boyfriend and I only ever meet alone and once in a blue moon we'll take the other out with our own friends. If we were to hang out just the two of us every day it'd be boring as fuck, but since we meet 2 days a week only it's actually not really a problem. We've been together like this for about 3 years and we're still fine.
That being said, I don't think the key is having an active social life. I think what's most important is to have some sort of life which doesn't depend on your partner. This can be your job, hobbies, etc.
>>16565129
yeah macho crap, where did i say redneck borderline wifebeater crap?
> show her that you will call the shots in the relationship
> i'd call her out no matter how mad she gets(i'll even intensify the anger in a humorous manner)
> SHOW HER(don't tell her) you'll take her or leaver her
> make fun of her and ignore her, and when she can act like an adult
> Whether you want to believe it or not, relationships need one leader and one leader only, you or her
> I make the major decisions in my relationships
> I have way more to offer to her
> i call the shots muahhaa
> By default men have way more to offer
How is this shit not overly macho small-dick-compensating nonsense?
>>16565178
its facts, for men and women in general lol.
I dunno man, seems to work the opposite way for me.
I don't really meet women as a result of a social life, and as I get further into the relationship I find what I do have deteriorating until I hardly hang out with anyone.
It's mostly my fault though. I tend to have mostly female friends (many of whom I've slept with), so it wouldn't really be appropriate to continue hanging out with them.
>>16565171
Okay interesting. How old are you btw?
>>16564898
OP, for the most part, unless you're an exception to the rule, having outside friends is really a must in a relationship. There's only so much the two of you can do together before it becomes stale. You may be perfectly happy on your own, but now you have to worry about someone else's needs and wants. You might be able to binge play WoW for 8 hours, but even if they like it, that might be too much for them.
Each person having an independent social life means they aren't beholden to the other person for all companionship.
You don't need anything to keep a gf.
If she gets bored of you and wants someone else, it won't matter if you make a lot of money, have a huge social circle, or look like Brad Pitt.
If there isn't a real reason, she'll just invent one, and then leave your ass.
Have fun living your life trying to appease women though, that should work out well for you.
