my girlfriend dumped me a week ago. She said she wasn't bored, was still attracted to me, that there wasn't another guy, or anything like that. She said she just didn't love me anymore. What the fuck is that about?
>>16564226
It means she saw you more of a friend than a lover. This happens a lot and is a very common reason for breakups.
>>16564232
how do you prevent that down the road?
>>16564232
I broke with my 3 year boyfriend over this, there wasn't even another person involved. I just saw him as a friend, and feared that the person I chose as a life partner is nothing more than a friend to me.
>>16564241
By maintaining the relationship in such a way that it remains as exciting as it was in the beginning. Relationships take a lot of work. That's what they mean when they say it takes work--they mean keeping things exciting, fun, romantic, etc. What that means for you is different than what it means for me. It means that whatever you did on day 1/week 1/month 1, you need to keep doing that in year 1, year 2, year 15, etc. Never stop trying to "impress" your mate. It goes both ways. Both people have to put in the effort. If they don't, this sort of thing can happen. Sometimes, you'll do everything right, they won't/won't care, and they leave anyway. There's no way of knowing. It's just part of the learning process. Eventually you find a partner who still adores you as much as they did in the beginning, 5 years or more into the relationship. That's when you're likely to be in the clear. But still requires constant maintenance.
>>16564244
fuck dude, that's heavy.
>>16564244
Yep, me too. Same amount of time as you. He felt like an annoying roommate as opposed to a long term partner. He just wasn't ready to mature alongside the relationship. Oh well, it happens.
>>16564260
>>16564253
The thing is, I was the mature one that tried. I constantly surprised her, bought her flowers, took her dancing, went to shows, like I kept it interesting. She totally checked out and stopped trying though. She said she felt a lot of doubt. Toward the end, it felt like I was the only one trying. I was looking at apartments for us and everything.
>>16564266
Doesn't matter if it was you or her who was trying harder. Like I said, both people need to try. She didn't want to. Why? You don't know, we don't know. Only she knows. No sense in dwelling on it. The next person isn't going to be the same as her. The one after the next girl won't be the same as either. One of them is bound to be your compatible match. You just keep pushing forward, putting in your effort into each relationship, and eventually you find the right person who does the same.
>>16564272
Thanks, that was really nice to read
>>16564244
This is really something you should realize before 3 years
>>16564272
>One of them is bound to be your compatible match.
This is not universally true though. Our time is limited, and so is the number of partners we have in that time. You could find your perfect match almost immediately, or never at all.
Lonely people exist at all ages, 's what I'm saying.
>>16564266
nice guys finish last you need to be an asshole but not too much that she will leave you. women like assholes because they put themselves first and are requiring resources. if you invest on her too much then you are not investing on yourself.
I'm in a similar situation, anyway you can get a girl like that back?
>>16564365
She honestly probably isn't worth getting back
>>16564253
Girls that expect this are delusional, your entire relationship isn't going to be something out of a fucking fairy tale
>>16564226
She felt a spark when you first started, and now its gone, and now shes moving on.
I still don't get the "asshole" part in relationships, even after all these years.
What kind of an "asshole" would I need to be to even have a GF?
I'm not a selfish asshole type of person either, hell, I actually feel like a blood sucking parasitic piece of shit every time I even ask for help of any kind from any one, no matter how small or big the request is.
>>16564511
bumping cause im like this too
>>16564335
>nice guys finish last you need to be an asshole
Dateless virgin giving advice on relationships again, I see.
You annoy her
Thanks for this thread, OP. Going through the same right now and the replies are pretty helpful.
But I still feel like I don't even want another gf after this knowing 2 years down the line she can just up and check out of the relationship based on a fickle feeling and then attempt to string me along with manipulation until even my patience runs thin and I break it off myself.
>>16564226
Did you still romance her, like take her out places, random gifts, etc? Or did you become complacent and not think you had to do those things anymore after the dating is over?
Just enjoy life, do more constructive shit with your time, date other women, hangout with friends, still be around for your ex (only if you want to be with her) be happy and don't sit around whining about it like a delicate snowflake. She will notice how happy you are and how well you're enjoying your new life, being a woman she will want to either ruin that (which then you just ignore her) or she will come back to you for it because she realises capable of survival alone - aka real man etc.
>>16564226
She likely was bored. Women will get bored when the chase is over. Men too, although men often take forever to leave the relationship or not leave at all because they're scared to be alone and relationships are harder to get for men sometimes.
So anyway op, your gf knows that she "has you", so she goes into lazy mode. It's inevitable, for a couple not to get lazy, relationships are hard. That's why its good to have plenty of space, so each partner can breath(be themselves and all that good stuff). It's not too much burden to keep things exciting and all that shit, with decent space. Make sure your next girl has a lot of friends and hobbies. Enjoy your alone time and go all out once or twice a week so she's daydreaming about you when she's alone.
Ok, how to keep things interesting. Let her know women are still after your goods, let her know she can be replaced. Make her work for a compliment, affection and praise. Don't just hand it to her easily, put her at HIGHER standards. If she's consistent for a month, give her a compliment and sweep her off her feet and smooch her.
If she gets lazy, don't do nothing for her. let her come to you. If it gets too bad, you have to not contact her for a while and when she calls tell her "you're on a date and i'll call you back.".
That's all i got
>>16565005
>Women will get bored when the chase is over. Men too, although men often take forever to leave the relationship or not leave at all because they're scared to be alone and relationships are harder to get for men sometimes.
Those are some heavy assumptions, where do you get your statistics?
>>16564226
Yeah, I guarantee at least one of those was a lie.
Can't expect people to be honest though, because that would be awwwkwaaarrrd!
>>16565046
>>Women will get bored when the chase is over.
Like i said when she knows "she has you", this means, there are no girls after you, she's already won all your trust, she can now predict your every move, and basically just nothing to work for in the relationship. I mean there is getting a house together or making a family but she can do that with any guy, its alot of desperate guys or guys in general who will give that too her. She wants something other guys can't give her, she wants something unique.
It's not all about her though like i said, keep her to higher standards too that benefit both parties if you reward each other.
You know what they say, fuck her mind before you fuck her. Women are emotional creatures, give her the good feels. Have to lay down the law too, like i said in my other post, when my gf is bitchy i make her even madder and joke about or ignore her texts. I make it clear before a relationship, that, i only discuss things in a calm/adult like, manner. She want drama, i'll give it too her lol.
>Men too, although men often take forever to leave the relationship or not leave at all because they're scared to be alone and relationships are harder to get for men sometimes.
that's easy look on /adv/ lol
>>16565093
Sounds kind of like controlling? Almost like you're dealing with a child.
>She has to go on the naughty step when she shouts at me
>>16565093
Doesn't really sound like a fun relationship. I mean yeah treating each other fairly often is nice, but spending the rest of your days trying to mind fuck each other and holding them up to the standards as your first date or you walk?
Surely you're going to want to have the security of knowing you're content with each other and can rely on one an other eventually?
>OMG I know we've been going out for 10 years but does she really have to cry so much about her mum? We're on a date ffs, into le trash.
Brutal.
>>16565122
she acts like a child treat her like one, if she acts like a adult treat her as such.
The secret to get her back : forget her and move the fuck on.
>>16564266
> I constantly surprised her, bought her flowers, took her dancing, went to shows,
You got too beta, made her the center of your life and wasn't manly enough. She lost attraction.
NEXT
>>16565162
>writing "NEXT" at the end of one's post
>>16565175
>being a weeaboo
>giving advice in an advice board when you're a weeaboo
NEXT
>>16565179
>2015
>calling someone a weeaboo on 4chan because of a single picture
>still keeping up that "NEXT" shit
>>16565131
Well yeah i want her to be just as consistent as when i first meet her, if it's not bareable for her, we'll spend less and less hours together and go on dates less times a week, do what works to until she's consistent, not to pressure her and give space. Also, i don't walk quickly. I always know when a relationship is dead.
>OMG I know we've been going out for 10 years but does she really have to cry so much about her mum? We're on a date ffs, into le trash.
Brutal.
Lol noooo, i'm not that cruel if her mom died i'd give her space and check on her time to time to ask if she needed something.
Means she's bored, doesn't find you attractive and that she's either met or looking for another.
Don't believe the bullshit, they're manipulative even without realizing.
>>16565183
>being a /co/ faggot
Goddamn, the "VIRGIN" redflags just exhale off you.
NEXT
It means she's a liar.
