>re: setting up a threeway
The thing is, these two girls are super close friends - sisters basically - and have known each other for decades. They think the same, they act the same, they have their own incomprehensible communication language and they're extremely open and comfortable with one another. I've almost never seen them not be instantly on the same page about everything. So it would make sense for one to be attracted to the other's boyfriend, right?
The other night we were all stoned and they made a couple jokes about us being in a threeway relationship, first my gf said something, then my gf's friend. It could have been more like a "we're hanging out a lot" oriented joke, or it could have been a "I kinda want that" way. Am I crazy? Would you make a joke like that if you weren't sort of thinking about it though? Her friend is exiting a messy breakup and got shot down by a crush recently, so she's having a bad time and she's been crashing with us here and there. I said nothing though, being stoned/paranoid and naturally risk-averse. But like any guy, yes, that would be *awesome*. I've mentioned a threesome before in the context of a discussion or two about my gf's bisexuality (she's bi, btw), and she tells her friend everything. They have to know I think it would be sexy, right? My gf's friend isn't the hottest around, but she's pretty enough and she's a blast to be around. My gf and I are imo better with each other when she's around (but that might just be an "in polite company" thing). If I was being honest with myself, (and I -think- I am), I would say she is in fact sexually attracted to me. Wishful thinking? Can't tell. And my girl hides a certain amount of attraction to her friend, I believe, which is not reciprocated.
(cont)
But did I mention my girlfriend is cripplingly jealous? Oh yeah. She's kind of pathological about it, even though she's an extremely sexual person, which is sometimes difficult. Under non-jealous circumstances I would just bring it up, jokingly, and if it happened it happened. But there's risk, too - I like the friend as a friend, genuinely. I love my girlfriend and we're going to be together a long time and so her friend will be too, and I don't want to fuck that up. I don't want to make it awkward, or turn my gf into a blubbering mess which happens often enough as it is. But couples have threesomes, that's a real thing, it's not harmful per se, I think we'd all ultimately be down if we can calm our (foremost my gf's) insecurities. I'm awash in mixed signals. My girl has been pushing for us to spend a weekend, the three of us, rustic cabin in the woods sort of thing, in January sometime, in the snow, all cozy together. There's been a low level of push from her to her friend. Is it inevitably going to happen? Do I need to make some sort of display first, joking or not, that I'd be down? Or maybe I've only been trying to convince myself of all this, that she's even into me, that my gf has been pushing it, that their jokes while we were stoned were meant to burn my ears, and not innocuous?
I can't fucking tell.
Do you guys have any thoughts about, or experiences with, setting up a threesome in this kind of situation (bf-gf + bff)?
Don't do it
>girlfriend is jealous
If you love her and want to stay with her, don't do it.
If you value the idea of going to bed with 2 girls more tham your current relationship, do it.
No need to go so further in detail. Believe it or not, its that simple
>>16555972
I'm dead serious here - I legit had. If I came a few days earlier, then I might have had it. I didn't, fortunately. You can make those decisions while you're stoned/horny/whatever and they will sound good. However, you're going to cheat on your gf technically. With her bff. Doesn't get much worse, does it ? You all are going to realize what have you done afterwards, and I'm pretty sure that it's going to ruin your relationship. Besides, you said that you want a long term relationship with her. That's the ultimate test of your fidelity towards her. Like, who in their right mind would refuse it, right ? Well, you should. Third wheels are always excessive in a relationship, and considering she is a bi, she might as well dump you for her. Stay sharp OP.
>>16556011
>I legit had.
legit had... what? a threeway?
>However, you're going to cheat on your gf technically.
It shouldn't be cheating if all three parties are on board with it. I'm not going to do anything without my GF, I would have no interest in that. If my gf isn't interested than there's no question it's not happening - shouldn't make it a question of fidelity.
but I hear you, thanks for the input
>>16555972
if you can set up a loving, mutually beneficial three way relationship in which all participants are only involved with each other, then you will have won the game. im not talking about a few theesomes then things fall apart, im talking long term commitment. this is the dream. well, my dream, anyway.
I'm in a very similar position to yours OP except a couple months ahead and I've realized that a threesome is out of the question.
There is hope for me though, GF agreed to do a partner swap with another couple. Maybe you should look into that?
Don't suggest that friends fuck. You'll get labled as the guy that watches too much lesbian porn.
>>16555972
>for decades.
>stop fucking grandmas
>protip:its digsuting
>>16555972
feels like deja-vu
>>16556551
Oh no, that would be the end of your life!
>>16556554
>people don't keep friends from early childhood
>>16556531
why was it out of the question? How did you realize it?
>>16556551
>implying she doesn't know that already
I wasn't really imagining that to be the way to go about it anyways.
>>16556582
I'm sure grandma's do just that. Your point?
>>16555972
Do they have sisters and friends? You can never have too many girlfriends. There's always rome for one more. The more, the merrier.
>>16556586
I think his point is that she and her friend are over 20, have known each other from youth, and that your post is stupid and make a you look like a tard. But I'm just your average anon reading the thread, so who knows what his point really was.
>>16555975
Only go through with it if you're okay with the relationship ending since that is what will happen.
I went through this a couple years ago with an ex who was bisexual. Even though we set up all kinds of rules she still lost her shit when I touched the other girl, not at the time but later. She started getting all paranoid asking me all the time if I was seeing the other girl behind her back, started accusing me of having someone else in the house whenever some object was in a place it normally wasn't...
After like a year I couldn't take it anymore and left her. It sucks since she was wife material before all that, it really ruined us.
>>16556600
You are wrong, because I am right. Always. That is my lot in life. Deal with it.
>>16556006
This dude. Just.. accept that shit will end badly for yoyr relationship if you do this. There is no 'having your cake and eating it too' here. You fucking pick one and deal with it. Sorry.
>>16556618
I agree. What else should we do that society taught you? When will I be a good little boy for doing what is expected of me? - Meanwhile denying my real self and wants and needs. Great advice, keep it up!
>>16556582
She told me that she is repulsed by the idea of doing anything with a girl and therefore in an mff where the girls aren't touching each other she wouldn't get enough attention.
>>16556594
>implying
there's diminishing returns, for sure. When I was single I tried dating as many chicks as possible and I could never maintain "dating" with more than three at a time without exhaustion. Girls are endless but your time is not.
>>16556603
>>16556618
my girlfriend and I have already been through that shit (i.e. baseless paranoia) and are fine. That's difficult to handle, but I've done it already. There's an awful lot of trust between the two of them too, so I think that would happen exactly. It's not the death knell you two are supposing it to be.
But, point taken.
>>16556632
yeah, that seems like a dealbreaker for a FFM.
>>16556646
>That's difficult to handle, but I've done it already.
Insecure people usually don't want to bug their partners with their insecurities. You may be over that part of your relationship but I guarantee you that she isn't and probably thinks about it on a daily basis.
I hope you remember this thread and my warnings if you choose to go through with this. You know you I'm right, you're just thinking with your dick and ignoring the obvious truth. Don't be surprised when this awkward threesome ends your relationship.
I've been in a three way relationship before (read: a couple of months involved with a mutual friend of my bf's in which sexual/romantic/platonic attraction was reciprocated by all parties) and it worked out just fine—I'm still with my bf, the friend is still very close with us, etc. So yes, it can be done.
HOWEVER, because these situations are so far outside the norm, it's vitally important that your relationship with your primary or original partner as well as the "third" is one of complete trust, communication, and kindness. A triad like the one I was involved in would be a complete mess had we not already been in the most healthy and stable relationship of either of our lives to begin with. From the sound of your post, you and your gf may not be quite at that level yet. That being said, if she expresses a (genuine!!) interest in the idea then it may be worth a try. Tumblr has a good amount of polyamory resources to start out with.
