I'm the same way. I have terrible social skills. I've been at my job for 3 years and barely talk to anyone. I don't think I'll ever be able to change. :-/

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Damn.. Dat ass

>>16553702
Fistbump. I'm in the same position as you and I'm crushing on someone despite having zero common ground and having fuck all to say to her beyond "Hi".

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>>16553985
>despite having zero common ground and having fuck all to say to her beyond "Hi".
i know that feel
i can ask how she is, and smalltalk. but i'm not good at conversations and can never go behind short conversations about weekend plans

Feel the same way. Even with my friends, I still feel like I don't contribute. Have a crush on a girl who I barely talk to.

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>>16554092
>i can ask how she is, and smalltalk. but i'm not good at conversations and can never go behind short conversations about weekend plans

That fucking feel

>>16554092
She is hella cute but fuck me I have nothing to say and on top of that I literally know nothing about her other than her name and dept.

Plus I remember the back end of her conversation with someone containing the words 'mountain' and 'holiday'. I've never been outside the city and so lazy that I take the lift to the 1st floor.

I have no chance.

>>16553702
Get some male friends first. If you appear as a loner, you will be rejected outright and maybe even made fun of. And since it is workplace, it can be pretty fucking embarrassing.

If you are afraid of joining your colleagues for lunch because they are already a group and it might be hard to fit in, just try to cling on the next new guy.

>>16554177
Wouldn't you have to be careful if the new guy turned out to be Mr Charisma? Or worse, a psycho?

>>16554198
That's always a possibility when you talk to new people. You're not looking for your next bro there, just someone to use in order to fit into the group. The new guy can just be a side step to your normal group of "friendly" colleagues.

If you plan on staying in your company for a longer time, having friends will also help for promotions and stuff.

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>>16554177
>If you appear as a loner, you will be rejected outright and maybe even made fun of
how do i go about making male friends.. haven't been able to do this, neither coworkers or people outside of work

i've been a loner most my life tbqh

>>16554175
You'd be extra lazy here, since in my country Ground Floor = 1st Floor.

>>16553702
What kind of job do you have that allows you to not talk to anyone during the day? How come you don't ever have to ask something to someone? Don't you have meetings to attend? Are you a self-taught genius?
Fuck I want a job like that

>>16555111
Not OP, but he's (slightly) exaggerating, obviously you HAVE to make some level of smalltalk to get work done.

Why do chicks in yoga pants depress the living shit out of me? I just want to touch it~ ;_;

Anyway OP. Check what movies are in your local cinema this week, pick one that is a sure pleb choice (random capeshit or whatever), and bring it up to coworkers saying "hey, I was thinking about checking out this movie after work, do any of you wanna come along?". Stuff like that.

Find some new music that you like, tv shows. Don't complicate it, just find something that's common so that people can toss the conversation ball back and forth. Not all groups discuss existentialism and philosophy.

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>>16555111
>that allows you to not talk to anyone during the day?
the only time i talk to someone is if they ask me to do something or if i have a question
>Don't you have meetings to attend?
rarely, and even then, i usually don't say anything

>>16555356
>"hey, I was thinking about checking out this movie after work, do any of you wanna come along?". Stuff like that.
i don't think anyone would come along.

>Not all groups discuss existentialism and philosophy.
it seems like most conversations involve people telling stories though. everyone seems to have had interesting lives. traveling, going to parties, fun/funny things that has personally happened to them or a friend of theirs, etc. i don't have any stories to tell

>>16555430
>it seems like most conversations involve people telling stories though. everyone seems to have had interesting lives. traveling, going to parties, fun/funny things that has personally happened to them or a friend of theirs, etc. i don't have any stories to tell

Hit the nail on the head.

>...that was one wild weekend. How did your weekend go anon?
>Sat in my pants, eating ice cream out of a tub and watching whatever was on TV.
>Err...Cool.

>>16553702
That floor looks comfy. Can I join? I need to stretch...

>>16556658
Hot body, old face.

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>tfw friday night alone
;_;

>>16555430
yes
its all bout swapping stories

i think this is how socializing goes usually:

casual/small talk --> cool story ---> meta discussion about cool story ---> another cool story or casual talk

rinse repeat

in short: make good expriences. share with people.

>>16556955
so how do i get stories to tell without friends in the first place?

almost every story i hear is about something people do with their friends or a story about their friends.

>>16556965

do fun things you want for yourself

dont do fun things because you want a cool story to tell.. well there are exceptions

being talkative and sociable is not always a good thing

sometimes when a person does it too much it becomes annoying

>>16556995
what are examples of fun things?

almost everything my coworkers talk about are things they do with others.

>>16556997
i don't do it at all though. i'm very taciturn

>>16553702
oh my god that picture

>>16556999
Kinda in a Catch-22 situation there...

> i'm very taciturn
Yeah, I tend to say only what's needed too. Kinda kills conversations getting straight to the point.

I was in your situation at my last job. Looking back, I really regret not talking to him. Just make a goal to give her/him a compliment or something and then do it.

I manage to express a mutual liking of TWD and he went as far to say he likes me better then someone else and wants me to say just because i butted in on a convo about TWD.

BE SOCIALER

>>16557467
exept people will see you as a desperate tryhard if you try to be more social

>>16557627
I mean you just need to learn social etiquette

Example.
Random person 1: what season of the walking dead are you on
Random person 2: I'm really behind I'm at the part where this and that happens
Shit dude I don't know what season that was in do you
Random person 1: uh I think it was... Shit...
not try hard response: that was definitely the beginning season 3
Try hard response: I LOVE the walking omg I've never met anyone else who also does I really hope Glenn isn't dead I really hope Glenn isn't dead Oops spoiler alert hahaha

Very similar position to you OP. Very introverted, have a bit of a crush on the qt at work that I've only shared some small chitchat with.

Only advice I can give is:
Don't be too precious about staying who you are. Maybe it's worth trying to like different shit everyone else is into to gain some common ground.
And take little extra risks.

The end result is: after the work christmas party I spent the night with qt and got to feel her up a bit.

>>16557627
Yeah maybe, but most of the people who judge like that are angsty introverts like us. It's socially acceptable to make an effort to spend time with people.

>>16557627
at least it's better than not trying and being the quiet guy

From living I realized you need to bring your desire first and your assumptions last.
Just be yourself and talk about what's in your mind and don't be afraid and assume what they will think. If they don't agree with you and think you are a werido welp too bad I guess, no everyone is the same. But there is always someone who has similar interests who just wants to talk to you, you just need to talk to enough people until you find a friend.

And for your crush
Like I said desire first assumptions last
You got to lie a bit but you need get your crush to like you. At the end she doesn't welp she's not for you and there is always someone for somebody and you are going to find them by talking to others
good luck

>>16553702
Have you reached out to them? If you never make the first move, they will conclude that you don't like them or are just a very private person, and they will respect your privacy.

Tomorrow at lunch time, stand up and say to the 4 or 5 people nearest you, "I'm going to try the new sandwich shop across the street. Anyone want to join me?"

Even if they all say no - because they may legitimately have had other plans - they will be aware of you as someone to be part of the community.

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>>16557866
>But there is always someone who has similar interests who just wants to talk to you
i don't know if i even have similar interests with anyone.. i like movies and tv shows. but it seems like people have more normal opinions. everyone is more positive, and have memories of good/fun scenes.

>You got to lie a bit but you need get your crush to like you.
lie about what?

>>16558057
i never reach out. but it always seems like people already have their own group, their own group of friends that they have lunch with for example.
i don't want to disrupt their plans or even tag along when unwanted, especially when i'm quiet as fuck, i think i'd be considered dead weight basically.

>>16557866
>you need to bring your desire first and your assumptions last

sounds reasonable, but then...
>You got to lie a bit but you need get your crush to like you

oh so i should put my assumptions first? (you need to asume what she likes first before you could lie about it)

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plz respond

>another weekend without talking to anyone
>no stories gained

>>16553702
just be yourself

>>16559521
Which means nothing if you don't actually have a personality.

>>16559170
>>16558977
>>16558820
Gonna need some sauce

>>16559170
How old are you? 23+?

Cos if you're younger I guess you could join geek clubs and shit.

>>16553702
You get better at talking to people by talking to people. You must break out of your introverted shell and just approach them about whatever subject comes to mind.
That person should let you know whether they share that interest or not and if they want the conversation to proceed.

Social relationships with others are built by degrees; they don't happen overnight.

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>>16559998
don't know

>>16560103
older than 23

>>16560239
>and just approach them about whatever subject comes to mind.
how do i do this? nothing seems to come to mind

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If you want to be interesting, make the other person talk.

Ask questions and be genuinely interested.

Make someone else feel good about themselves. If they feel good about themselves, then they'll feel good about you.

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Anon, you just have to have courage and wing it, basically. The only thing holding you back is fear. You fear of saying the wrong thing, so you overthink what you should say and how you think a conversation SHOULD go, which then causes you to doubt yourself, which then causes you to do nothing. Just stop that, think of a lighthearted topical subject matter, and wing it. For instance, earlier this week I chatted up a cute Bestbuy employee no problem. What did we talk about? Nothing. I just asked her a few questions about Black Friday, and she did the rest of the talking, which led me to ask more questions, which got her to open up even more. [spoiler]Pro tip: People love talking about themselves.[/spoiler] It's legitimately as simple as I'm making it sound.

I'm in a similar boat. I have two monotonous jobs, both of which leave me surrounded with men three times my age I have nothing in common with. I've never gone to College, I didn't have a true highschool experience, I'm a turbo-weeb shut-in, and I have absolutely no stories to tell, and to cap it all off, because of my jobs, I speak so infrequently that I've developed a stutter. That STILL doesn't stop me from being social and talking to random people about random shit. The only way to improve is to put yourself out there. I mean, for crying out loud, it's Christmas season. This is probably one of the best times for you to put yourself out there, because there's just so much to talk about! Get out there and live, Anon!

>>16556965
well, then, be the guy whi adds witty comments or interesting facts then,

I don't particulary like to share my own experiences and because of that I've been in the same position as you, so what have I done to have a reasonable social life in fact make others talk.

How to do that? well you have to be a good listener, pay attention and remark interesting points of the conversation to further it. Also, using other people's experience is valid, but don't pretend you have lived them.

Try not to sound arrogant, specially to bond

People appreciate this, since you are deemed as a good listener and a interesting knowledgeable person

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>>16560826
i ask questions, but maybe not the right questions. i mostly ask informational questions, usually that start with the word 'what'. and soon run out of related things to ask... it's not natural for me to ask 'why' questions.

>>16560870
i think i might overthink, but i dont know how not to tbqh

>>16560969
>well, then, be the guy whi adds witty comments or interesting facts then,
i always try to think of things to say in conversations, but nothing really materializes. how can i get better at making comments or giving interesting facts

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>>16561536
>i always try to think of things to say in conversations,
Fucking. Wing it.
Conversation is natural. It should come to you as easy as breathing. Sure sometimes there may be lulls, or you'll find that you don't have much in common, but you don't consciously worry about your lungs filling with fluid and suffocating yourself to death every time you inhale, do you? Stop worrying about what goes wrong, and just do it.
You know why people say "Just be yourself" ? Because that's what comes most natural, and most people can sense that. Just be comfortable, and talk about fucking nothing. Ask about a new movie, or some TV series on Netflix. Talk how much this spreadsheet is kicking your ass. Talk about CHRISTMAS. Being able to participate in smalltalk isn't the same as communicating like you're lifelong friends, smalltalk is just the first step to getting used to putting yourself out there, and making yourself known to the world.

If baboons can scream at each other until they start fucking, you can talk about the fucking weather. Come on, man.

>>16561561
>>16561561
thanks for the advice, i do overthink things and so it's hard to just wing it
i've been reading about meditation and CBT to stop overthinking and to reduce my anxiety, maybe i need to practice these more too

>>16560969
>witty comments

Unless you are naturally witty, I wouldn't try it, your witticisms would just fall flat.

OP, i feel you.

>>16558412
You might not like something she's into but you gotta smile and laugh along
idk she's not your friend, you want to fuck her or be with her so you got to be nice to here m8. But I don't mean lie like a idiot and say things you can't do but just lie about liking a show or a song just the little things.

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>>16563828
i do need to be more positive and say i like things more. i'm not good at responding to things by asking followup questions or acting interested.
like, she did mention a tv show she watched. but i either just nodded and smiled or said 'oh cool'/"oh ok", like i usually do to things people tell me.. i'm pretty socially retarded

If you're attractive, anything you do and say will be considered cool and hot.
If you're ugly, you might even make good bro-tier friends who care more about yourself than what you do or say. My best bro ever (known for 20 years) fits here. Not the smartest, not the most charismatic and not the most handsome, but damn that man is the best friend anyone could ask for.

Now, if you're average or anything that can be considered "just a simple dude" you're literally fucked because there's nothing in this world that you can do in order to attract someone unconditionally.
In this case, unusual activities and hobbies help a ton. Also cool clothes/

>>16553702
Read self improvement books, body language is really important too. There's books for every one of your problems. Its what I did