my friend was texting me, asking me to hang out, but I was ignoring them because I'm an antisocial fuck. Then he made plans with another friend and got into a really bad car accident after, went into a coma, then died.
If I had just replied. If I said that I'd come over or we could meet for coffee a walking distance away, he'd still be alive.
The grief is overwhelming. I feel so guilty.
It's literally my fault. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I feel numb.
This is a normal part of grief, and you will get past it. The only reason you feel bad is because he died. Had this not happened, you wouldn't be on here posting it.
If anything just try to spend more time with your friends because you don't know when they're going to die for completely different reasons. I can't relieve you of your pain, that is going to stay for a while. Just try to realize what I am saying to you.
Did the pertain that your friend was in the car with make bad decisions, and were you aware of this behavior?
If no to either, it's not your fault.
Even if you did know they made bad decisions, it was your friend's active participation that would have caused it.
Unless if you directly knew that he would be harmed, then you hold no responsibility, as compared to letting them drive when drunk.
its not you fault, youre just being narcisistic. Not in a bad way, although it leads to bad emotions. Every person ehose ever died wouldn't have died if somethin had happened differently. You had no way of knowing he would die, bear no responsibility, and did nothing wrong. The universe is subject to chance and shit happens.
>>16540216
Not your fault OP, no way you could have known it was going to happen. I'm sure your friend wouldn't want you to feel beat yourself up over it
Was he driving?
>>16540216
But you didnt kill him. Traffic accident did. Can you see the future? No. You went about it because it was normal and now this happened, you feel like you had a part. You had no part in it.
Life lesson, dont take life for granted because when it happens, it happens with out warning and theres nothing you can do.
You will continue to blame yourself. Youll completely shut yourself out, you may even try to kill yourself but you need to know that you didnt kill your friend. Theres was nothing that could be done. Its going to take time to come to terms with it. When that happens, I hope you havent self destructed completely to a point of no return, OP.
>>16540226
No, totally sober.
>>16540236
Yeah
And thank you everyone else. I understand that things happen, and if he had died, I would have been upset - but the fact that it was in correlation with me not texting him back to make plans, it feels like a punch in the stomach.
>>16540245
if he was driving then he might have crashed the car if you had gone out with him - only then you might be dead too.
Sorry your friend died. All your doing is lying to yourself, there is nothing you couldve done to stop this from happening. Whenever something bad happens people try to think what couldve been but this kind of thinking doesnt help as it isnt reality. Its ok to cry and grief but you cant honestly take responsibility for this.
>>16540216
>If I had just replied. If I said that I'd come over or we could meet for coffee a walking distance away, he'd still be alive.
He could just have easily died while on the way to see you, and you'd feel the same way. Driving is dangerous and the situation is completely out of your hands.
Maybe he would have gotten hit and killed by a bus while walking to meet you at coffee. Grieve for your friend but realize there are things that are out of our hands
